Awakening the Elements
by Justagirl28
Summary: It had been over two years since I had been in Forks . . . Based off ChemicalJane's The Heart at its Darkest.
1. Chapter 1

**This story is my ode to ChemicalJane and her awesome story The Heart At It's Darkest. As soon as I finished her story it dawned on me that I had to know what would happen once Leah came back . . . this story is for those of you that wondered too! I also had another idea that I wanted to use in another Leah story I created but there wasn't a way I could effectively blend it into the story so I gonna try to use it here. **

**I also want to add that I think that ChemicalJane is an amazing writer and that I am still pretty new to this so please be kind in your reviews. Thanks and of course I do not own the any of the characters. **

Based Loosely off of The Heart At It's Darkest by ChemicalJane

It had been over two years . . .

Since I had left my home in hopes of finding new happiness . . . well maybe not happiness, but a new purpose. I found many things but I don't know if it was my purpose in life, but it was most definitely a new perspective. Two years since I had fully embraced what I was, two years of almost completely living like a human. The main reason I was coming back was because I had decided that I was okay was what I was, I even lived for certain parts of it. Two years had past and my secret or better yet _our_ secret should be a memory in everyone's minds.

I had to come back because if I didn't I feared I would lose myself and more importantly my ability to phase, each time I tried it was harder to get that burning ripple to flow underneath my skin and give way to my inner animal. The last time I tried I stood for a good hour in an unknown forest trying to invoke enough of an emotion to trigger and angry response in my body, but I couldn't think of anything I was truly angry about. I was not the same Leah, I wasn't bitter and everything I seemed to bitter about before seemed like a distant memory. After traveling the world, seeing major destruction and learning of so many natural disasters it made all of my emotional baggage petty at best.

Now, I sat in the taxi in front of my home in Forks, I watched as someone peeked through the blinds curiously. I hadn't told them I was coming home I wanted to surprise everyone, plus I knew if I told them I was coming home they would ask me a question I still didn't have the answer to . . . How long was I staying? I kept telling myself that I would stay long enough to get my ability to phase comfortably back then I would leave. Staying here would serve me no good, but something told me that I was lying to myself and that I was in for a rude awakening if I thought I was just going to walk back into my old life and no drama would befall me. I sighed deeply and handed the driver a hundred dollars.

"Thanks" I stepped out into my front yard and adjusted my clothes a bit.

"No way!" I heard Seth yell from the house, "Mom, Leah's back, Leah's back!" Seth whipped opened the door and ran towards me scooping me up in a big hug and squeezing me until I was almost breathless. "Leah God I missed you!"

"I missed you too!" I gasped as he let me down. He grabbed one of my bags and helped me in side. Once in our living room I sit on the couch and take a deep whiff expecting to smell all of the memories of home but instead, my eyes widen with excitement and horror. I immediately stood up and headed for the front door, this was a mistake. It had to be because if it weren't I wouldn't be getting ready to face this right now. I haven't even had the time to get comfortable being home. I wasn't going to deal with the situation just not now.

"Where are you going Leah?" He laughed, "You looked scared to death!" He now sat were I was once located on the couch.

"Fresh air," I murmured. I needed to escape before they all approached me, it would be too much.

"Can't you wait until you see mom she has missed you like crazy!"

"You're right . . . I'll stay." I sat in the chair by the door, just in case I needed to make a run for but I really did want to see mom. "Where is mom anyway?"

"She is upstairs, she was getting dressed," he shrugged, "some things take her the longest time."

"Yeah . . ." Then, murmuring came from the back door, through the kitchen, and now appeared to me in the form of Jacob, Bella, Edward, and little Renesmee (who looked to be about 10 years old).

"Leah!!" Jacob grabbed and shook me senseless. "Welcome back Beta! You are back right?"

"I" I was about to give him an excuse but he really didn't seem to care about what I had to say.

"You look hot by the way; it has been a million years since I have seen you with long hair and what up with it being all curly." He went to run his fingers through it and Bella cleared her throat, she never did like any of the attention Jacob gave me, especially once he imprinted on her little . . . . Look at me I was getting ready to go back into my old ways of thinking maybe it was the bitterness that gave me ability to phase so quickly, maybe that was what I was missing.

"Jacob," I moved his hand from my hair, "its just hair, God." I smoothed my hands over my jeans and took a seat. We all sat in silence momentarily.

"So what brings you back?" Bella said not looking at me with her voice cold.

"I missed my family . . ." I thought better of mentioning my other dilemma. Edward's eyes now frowned at me, and I immediately remembered his ability to steal my thoughts.

"Oh . . . will you be staying long?" She asked concerned, everything in the room seemed smaller. I knew Bella and I had a public disliking for each other but this was different, her glare had purpose. I was trying to be cordial but Bella always agitated me, she sort had this way of claiming things that didn't belong to her.

"This is _my_ home . . . it was _my_ home first, I am _allowed_ to stay Bella . . . if I want." I said matter of fact, sometimes I honestly thought she believed that everything revolved around her, but honestly after two years to view the world I could easily tell her that it didn't, the world revolved around none of us. It was just ball of space in which we all existed.

"Do you want to?" She raised her eyebrow to me and I rolled my eyes in response. I could smell my mother's scent increasing rapidly throughout the room.

"Leah dear! Oh honey you are as beautiful as the sun and stars combined . . . traveling has brought out the best in you!" She hugged me, she was right traveling had brought out the best in me, but something was missing.

"Thanks mom and you look great too!"

"Well I have to; you know what tonight is don't you?" She smiled at me and I thought to the calendar I could think of nothing special about April 3rd.

"Leah it is the biggest counsel meeting of the season, you know that!" She popped me lightly on the head, "you should come a lot of the elders have been asking about you!" She beamed.

"Sure," I said sitting down again. I didn't want start an argument within my first few minutes of speaking of to her. Those meeting were so boring or at least I used to think so, when I was nine, which was the last time I had ever attended one.

"Well tell me about everything you've seen and all the things you have done." She sat down anxiously waiting for me to say something profound.

"Haven't you gotten any of my letters?" I questioned, knowing that I had fully detailed all of my adventures to her, Seth, and Jacob and no one else.

"Yeah, but Leah I just want to hear your voice." So I told her a couple of stories about some of the people I met.

"I've been meaning to ask you honey, what made your destinations change drastically?" I stretched I hadn't talked this long for a while, as I raised my arms to the sky and arched my back I noticed to undeserving eyes fall across my body, hopefully I was the only one to notice. Why must he examine me so, as if he were hungry for something? It made me uncomfortable it made me remember who I was then, a monster. That is not me not anymore. I felt like the past was chasing me and I was running straight into a brick wall.

"What do you mean?" I cleared my throat in a desperately lame attempt to breathe with the uncomfortable tension in the room.

"I mean at first you went to places like Paris and Italy, you made them sound so beautiful and glamorous. Then your stops seemed to have a purpose, like when you went to South America and then Africa and the whole dynamic of your letters changed . . . I could tell that you had too." I smiled at her.

"Yeah, I left the bitch in Rome and haven't seen her since." I smiled slightly. "I have to admit there are some things I regret saying and doing when I was the bitch but I cannot change that I can only go forward and try to be humane . . . even if I'm not completely human." I sighed.

"You are . . ." Edward said quietly from beside Bella she now glared at him, her looked advised him to chose his words wisely, "human."

"And don't say bitch sweetheart it's not lady like!" I laughed mom said bitch. Edward smirked too. It was funny that she would say a word that she claimed to be unclean and not lady like, did she not consider herself a lady. It was one of the random slips she made that I let slide.

"I want to help people all over the world, it gives me the most amazing feeling knowing that I am touching someone's life . . .in a good way, a way worth remembering. I don't want to be the cause of pain." I laughed, "This conversation is getting a little deep for my whole three hours of being home. I'm going to go freshen up . . . it was nice seeing you all." I said politely.

As I promised my mother, I went to the counsel meeting with her. I was bored stiff apparently my mentality hadn't changed much from age nine, nothing went on the reservation or in this town for that matter. While sitting there and listening to elders I felt like my brain was in a tunnel full of incomprehensible sounds, which was a normal sensation for someone as uninterested as I was. The sensation that surprised me was the old ache that was growing within me, the sensation was becoming so strong that I was actually embarrassed my it, I sighed uncomfortably and repositioned myself in my steal chair several times hoping it would help. After a while, I deemed my attempts useless and I found a way to sneak out of the meeting and found my way to the nearest "specialty" store. Seeing him again created feelings in me that couldn't be ignored . . . but had to be ignored. With over two years under my belt of dealing with this sensation I knew exactly what I needed (and what I needed came in a little velvet pouch and sometimes sold with batteries or a charger). I opened the front door not even bothering with cutting on the lights. I moved with quickness and determination I didn't know how much time I had to fulfill my urges. I knew I couldn't be around him if I had done nothing to subdue the leaking burning between my legs. I quickly threw the velvet bag into the freezer so that it would feel wickedly cool and delicious just like he used to. I went to go upstairs when I noticed something on the couch.

"Edward?" I gasped in horror I could have handled anyone but him being here right now. I cut on the light and threw him a malicious glare. He looked at me, he calmly pointed to Nessie who was under the cover on the opposite side of the couch.

"She wanted to see Jacob before she went to bed." He shrugged and tried to smile innocently. However true it was that Jacob usually escorts my mother home from her meetings there was no need for him to be in my home sitting in the dark . . . that was some creepy stocker kinda mess.

"I will tell him to call you once the meeting is out," I walked away from him back into the kitchen hoping that he would get the hint to let himself out.

"How long does it take?" He nodded his head in the direction of the freezer, "For it to get cold enough?" My heart started pounding at a ridiculous speed; I couldn't tell if it was from embarrassment or his new proximity.

"I don't know what you're talking about?" I said as coldly as I could muster considering the state I was in, "like I said I will tell Jake to call you." I went to push him but thought better of touching him at all. He smirked and went towards the freezer and put his hand on the door as if he were going to open it.

"What the hell are you doing?" I growled at him and he smirked pulling the door open, easily overpowering my attempts at keeping the door closed. "Please, please stop." I conceded. _All I know is the longer it chills the better it feels_. I tried my best not to think of the millions of times I had used the technique before. It is amazing how many different places you can find a "little helper." I felt ashamed and embarrassed.

"Don't feel that way I won't say a word, I think it's good that you're . . .self sufficient." His look grew familiar from a different time in our lives; then he straightened his composure and looked over to his daughter. He walked over to her and picked her up as if she were still an infant. "Have a lovely and _fulfilling_ rest Leah." He smirked at me knowingly, I rolled my eyes at him. He was such a jerk sometimes I wished he would just act like he didn't know what was going on.

When Edward finally left not two minutes later my mother was back from her meeting. Maybe my pint up sexual frustration would be the cause of me phasing. It had been three days of being back in Forks and it seemed that everything that the pack did revolved around the Cullen's in one way or another. Today everyone was over at the Cullen's mansion doing God knows what. This was perfect for me because I still had my little issue that I needed to clear up before I could be social. I had even gone as far as to tell Jacob that I would most definitely come the next time, seeing that my need would be fulfilled.

This time I decided to go into the woods, I wore one of a tank top and an old jean skirt for easy access. I was out in the middle of nowhere, but I knew exactly where I was I used to call this area Leah Land when I was younger and I was the only one who knew about the little fort like area that I had made so that I could have solitude from all of my little problems. Now I would use it solve a whole new issue. I enter the fort with my cooler filled with ice and my velvet bag in tow. I put my toy on ice like it was some sort of fine wine, while I waited for it to chill I took on piece of the ice and touch it to the nape of my neck, I pretended it was his tongue, moving in slow circles. I took my shirt off and lay my back on the earth. The ice now traveled from each of my breasts making slow delicate circles around my nipples, which were so hard now that they were aching. I shivered and moaned quietly as I moved the ice around my belly button and then lower, if only he were here I thought, I wanted it to be his saliva repeatedly making the trail from my breasts to my crotch, which was eagerly waiting to be entered.

"Nooo . . ." I thought, I will not call out his name, but it was all I could think of as I shoved the foreign piece of heaven into my center. "Nooo . . . oh God!" I said as I quickened my motion. I tried to concentrate on a memory, something like our first time or our last time . . . something that reminded me that it was something from my past that needed to be forgotten. "Noooo . . . oh why!" I remember how his breath smelled and how I begun to feel addicted to his scent, I loved it so much that I could swear I smelled it now as I quickened my pace further. "You feel so good!" My memories then started to turn into fantasies of us in the kitchen, of him lifting my shirt and licking hungrily at my stomach as he unbuttoned my jeans. "I want you, I want you . . . please". I panted as pushed the toy in as deep and as hard as it could go as I imagined him pinning me to the refrigerator and entering me. "OH EDWARD!" I confessed to the wind, the trees, and any woodland creature in a 25 to 30 mile radius. I slowly pulled the toy from inside of me and looked at it in disgust. It had done nothing but what I wanted it to, just like Edward had two over years ago. I was disgusted at myself that I couldn't let go. I still felt his pull and wanted more. I had told him to forget about me and I hope to God that he had because I didn't know if I was going to strong enough to stay away. I threw the thing into the cooler and went to exit the fort and go to the nearby pond to fresh up as much as humanly possible.

Then I smelled it . . .

"Cullen . . ." I said dryly. I felt I could cry because no matter how long he had been standing there in a matter of minutes he would piece together what I had been doing for the past few hours. I wouldn't turn around to look at him. When I imagined coming back I was hoping to somehow create some kind of friendship with Edward, but it didn't seem like I was strong enough to keep my head out of the gutter.

"We are playing baseball . . ." he sounded slightly disoriented, "I caught the ball . . .Jasper's out" He laughed nervously showing me the ball in his hand.

"That's good . . .," I said sarcastically, "well I'm leaving." I went to walk away from him but then realized that.

"The pond is this way," he said without thinking, "I'm sorry . . . I just." I turned to him and he looked a little less perfect than normal. I stole a quick glance to his pants that were now tightened by the crotch. I frowned hating myself for wanting to take advantage of his situation. I went to walk past him. We had no choice but to walk in the same direction, I griped my cooler tightly as I walked I knew he could smell me, he must think I am one sick puppy.

"No . . . I am the sick one," he murmured, "I know I shouldn't have but I sat there and listened while you . . . at first when I heard you I thought you may be in trouble but as I got closer your thoughts became clear and _I_ was drawn in." He went to touch me but I backed away he was still excited he needed to do something about that, but unfortunately I knew it wouldn't be with me. Even still I imagined myself dropping to my knees to assist him for just one taste of . . . I was going crazy.

"Look Cullen we still can't be around each other or someone will get hurt. So just stay away from me okay!" I stormed off half hoping that he would follow; he didn't which was for the best. I needed some time to think. When we did what we did, I was hurting and in his own way Edward was hurting too. The woman that he thought he would love forever turned out to be nothing like what he had expected. We tried to heal each other but it seems we have done more harm than good. Now I would wonder what if, what if I told him that I wondered what it would be like to legitimately be is woman. That was something I could never do as strong as I was I couldn't allow myself another heartbreak. I went to the pond to wash away my sins.

It was funny I just told Edward to stay away from me when I ended up right on his doorstep bright and early the next morning. Rosalie opened the door and arched her eyebrow. I knew from previous conversation I had heard that Rose knew the extent of my involvement with her brother, Alice must have felt she needed to speak with another female about the situation.

"My mom sent me to make the strawberry pies for Nessie's party thing this evening . . . they have to be prepared in the same area they are eaten, at least that's what she says anyway." I held up my basket as proof.

"I knew you were coming." She widened the door so that I could come in, "That's why the people that have a problem with you have left the house. I could only figure that she was talking about everybody else.

"So what are you telling me that you don't have a problem with me?" I laughed doubting that was what she meant.

"Honestly, no I don't. I told everyone from the beginning that Bella was a bad idea. I told him not to talk to her and he did. I told her not to become one of us and she did. I told them not to blame you. I could sense that there was something not right about Bella, but the one good thing that came out of the situation was Ness." Rose stood on the other side of the kitchen counter as she bared her soul to me.

"Oh . . ." I frowned baffled I almost cut myself, "Oops."

"Close call!" Rosalie laughed, "Let me do the cutting . . . but when I found out about you and him it didn't bother me it actually made more sense to me than Bella. When he came back home the day you came back to Forks a new spark hit his eyes."

"Hmm, we could have been good friends but I don't think we can surpass that moment now. I don't want to deal with the dirty looks I would have to endure from simply trying to have a conversation with the guy." I was really saddened by this it made me want to leave Forks all the quicker. "I just have to get my phasing under control then I can leave here and never bother anyone again."

"What's wrong with your phasing?" I know my eyes widened as realized I let my reason for coming back slip so easily to this vampire. The thought then dawned on me that she could pretending to be nice to find a weakness within me, if so I just offered on up on a silver platter. I looked at her face to examining if she seemed jovial about my confession, surprisingly her face was filled with concern, so I decided to answer her question.

"I can barely do it that's what is wrong with it," I laughed sadly, "and I surprised to say I am not quite ready to give up my immortality. I figure if I was around vampires again and in a stressful environment that I would have no choice but to phase."

"I could help you if you want. I could make you angry." Rosalie laughed this time I couldn't tell if she was joking or not.

"Maybe some other time," I placed the last pie in the fridge to chill. "Rose, you do really seem cool about everything but when it was happening you were the one that came at me with the most fury, I still don't fully get your change of heart?"

"You both should have known better than to do what you did, the way you did it. You are not a home wrecker Leah you are a good person." She touched my arm and a chill went down my spine accompanied by an intense memory of his touch.

"Thanks for saying that." I smiled and walked toward the front door.

"Are you coming to this dance party thing or whatever it is?" Rosalie said holding up an invitation. "I know most of the pack is coming."

"Yeah Jacob, Seth, Embry, Quil, Paul . . . and Sam." I saved his name for last figuring that it would hurt to say but it didn't, the memory of his pain was the least of my concerns. Maybe the trip took care of at least one of my emotional problems. I still didn't want to see him though, not unless I had no choice.

"Right I forgot he was coming, he rarely does. It's a shame you won't come, it would nice to have someone here that kind of thinks the way I do." She reflected.

"Thanks Rose . . . for understanding." I reached out and hugged her, for purely selfish reasons of course I wanted to feel a cold touch even if it was just hers.

"Uhh Leah . . ." She said as she patted my back awkwardly, probably willing me to move. The sad thing was how much I enjoyed her touch, the cold smooth surface seemed familiar in a way.

"Sorry . . . I" Pulled away trying to think of a way to explain what I had done, I couldn't just come out and say, sorry Rose but you feel like Edward. "I'm just losing my mind." I opened the door and Jasper and Edward were standing by the door. "Excuse me." I murmured walking past them. I heard Edward laugh quietly as I quickly made my escape to my car. That jerk thought my torment was funny, but I shouldn't be surprised this was always easier for him than it was for me, but he had a family to fall back on. However in some ways it should have made what we did more difficult for him because he was the one with the most to lose. That's why I told him in the letter that I wrote to set me free, because I wanted what was best for him.

A couple weeks of trying to phase and I was still barely accomplishing my goal. It seemed the more I tried the longer it would take the feeling to come over me. Maybe Rosalie was right, I needed help. That's why I went to her. I knocked on the front door. Emmett answered with the knowing smirk on his face.

"Hey Emmett can I speak to your wife for a minute?" I stood at the front door.

"Yeah come in!" He put his arm around my shoulder playfully and I shuddered. I was glad he touched me because I when he did I felt nothing, no arousal, no stimulation of any kind, which had to mean I was getting over the sensation, or at least I hoped anyway. Edward was sitting on the couch reading some book; he seemed as if he didn't even notice I had entered the room. Rose entered the room and actually looked happy to see me.

"Hey are you taking me up on my offer?" She was perceptive, I nodded answering her question I tried to avoid thinking of the previous conversation Rose and I had, because I didn't want Edward in my business, and he had no place whatsoever in my life. He frowned harder continuing to stare at his book.

"I'm going to get a few things then we can get started." She went back upstairs.

"I could help you too Leah. I actually have an idea that I think will work pretty good." Emmett smirked devilishly.

"I'm afraid to ask." I said dryly.

"Then don't." With that he grabbed me by the arm carrying me out the door and onto the highest part of the roof.

"What the hell Emmett!" I shook with anger and a little fear. I knew that the dude had the tendency to be crazy but why the hell would he bring me to the top of the roof. Why would this make me phase? It's not like I'm afraid of heights or anything, matter of fact I kinda enjoy them, just not with some oversized vampire controlling my movement.

"What comes up . . ." He said throwing me into the air, I went up so far and so fast that I couldn't find enough air in my lungs to breathe let alone think about phasing. Then I started to fall I focused on my energies on using the fear to produce the adrenaline to phase, of course I got nothing so I prepared myself by closing my eyes and bracing myself for an painful landing, but instead I landed in Edward's arms.

"Thank God!" I breathed, I thought I was going to die, I wrapped my arms around him, pulling my body closer to his, and placing my head on his shoulder momentarily until the shock of the situation faded and the truth of our past came back to surface. He had carried me back in the house. "Put me down Cullen!" I said trying my best to sound annoyed, but he of course knew what I was really thinking. He did as I requested dropping me on the couch with his classic smirk. I envisioned him unbuttoning his shirt and lying on top of me practically forcing me to . . . I rolled my eyes I didn't like him thinking he had gotten the best of me. Emmett followed us into the living room area.

"Man, you ruined the experiment, now I'm gonna have to find another way to scare her!"

"Why are you trying to scare her?" Edward paused as if he was listening to something, probably Emmett's thoughts; just then, Rosalie finally comes back downstairs.

"Okay I'm ready . . . what happened?" She said studying everyone's face. "Did someone just have a near death experience or something?" She glared at her husband. "I told you not to do that! Was it as ineffective as I told you it would be?" Emmett just rolled his eyes and shook his head to her statement never admitting he was wrong.

"Yes, your husband saw fit to Leah into the air endangering her life because . . . if I am understanding this correctly . . . you can't phase?" He pointed at me as if he was accusing me of something.

"I can . . . I have . . ." I thought of the last time at tried and how frustrating it was. I immediately stopped because I remember I was naked in the memory. He however didn't seem impressed by it one way or the other. "It just takes longer now."

"Well . . ." He placed his hand on my forehead gently, then he placed his ear on my chest and listened to my heartbeat, which was through the roof now. I wanted to wrap my arms around him and my urge to taste him was . . . I willed my thoughts to become G-Rated. "You still feel . . . and sound the same." He commented, "We just have to piss you off!"

"That's why I came back nothing pisses me off more than Forks!" I laughed.

I had been working with Rose on a normal basis to fix my dilemma for a couple weeks now, most of the time we worked alone, the other times Emmett would try to help, and a couple times Edward watched from a distance. So far, the experiment that we did that worked the best was simple . . . we fought. It still took a few minutes for the rush to come over me but when it did I felt amazing. Rose thought that the transformation would probably be quicker if I was in actual danger, but since I knew that she wouldn't intentionally hurt me, I kind of had to lie to myself subconsciously.

"But the process used to be effortless all I had to do was think about phasing and I was a wolf now . . ." We had been outside in the forest for about two hours it took me half an hour to become a wolf.

"It's like your body chemistry has gone whacky . . . for lack of a better way to put it." She pulled her lips into a slow smirk. I wished she hadn't done that it reminded me of the way Edward used to smile at me when I told a joke that was more stupid than funny. "New topic," Rose announced as if she had breaking news, "what are your plans for tonight?"

"Ugh don't ask . . . I have to go to this thing for Sam and Emily's kid, they are having it at Billy Black's house."

"The birthday party?" Her eyes grew wild with shock and excitement.

"Yeah . . . that would be the thing."

"Oh . . . you do know that Bella and Edward are planning to attend?" She asked hesitantly.

"Nope, I didn't know that but I could imagine them being there making the event oodles more fun!" I said sarcastically.

"I don't think you should go we could hang out, we could ride into Seattle that would be fun right; I just don't think it wise to see them . . . together." Trust me I understood where she was coming from being in a room with Sam, Emily, Edward, and Bella would do nothing for my comfort level but I couldn't see how I could avoided.

"It's not by choice believe me, I promised Emily I would stop by. I'll probably just drop off the gift and then dip." I shrugged, "then we can go to Seattle I'll probably need the space to clear my head.

I sat at the table with one of those stupid cardboard pointy hats on my head while kids ran around me. There used to be a time when I loved kids, because they were wild and free spirited I wanted a million of them, then I shifted and abandoned the notion. Ness played with the "younger" children picking them up, laughing, and running with them. I sat there with Embry who seemed as bored as I was.

"Fifteen more minutes and I'm leaving, I'm almost thirty and I sitting here waiting for cake to brought out at a party for a three year old!" He laughed.

"Yep these are the best years of your life being flushed down a drain," I said dryly, "at least you get to live them over and over again." I smiled darkly. I knew he was trying to become human, mainly because he wanted to go to college and be normal.

"I don't want that Leah! Not anymore!" He growled, he took in deep breaths to calm himself.

"Whoa dude I know, trust me I know how you feel, but be sure that is what you want before you go saying crazy things." I thought about my situation and how desperately I was now trying to cling onto immortality. I kept asking myself why . . . what was the big deal about being immortal . . . Edward, a small voice in my head whispered the answer to the question and I pretended not to hear. Edward's eyes then wandered in my direction and the quickly lowered.

I felt like I was frozen in this party that would not end. Most of the children had now been allowed to play outside. Sam took this time to vow his undying love for his wife, my cousin, Emily. He started to sing to her a tune that was all too familiar to me. It was our song, now their song, my heart dropped in to my stomach scorching sensation to run through me. I exited quickly thinking that I was going to phase but instead all I got was tears. Tears ran down my face as I stood on their back porch, then if the night wasn't going perfectly enough the heavens opened up and it began to pour. I ran to Jacob's garage for distance from the others and shelter from the rain. The garage smelled heavily of Jacob he must have been in there recently he and Bella both had wandered out of the party. Jacob went to check on Ness and Bella to but in a call to Alice, it was inconvenient if nothing else. How was I supposed to escape if nobody else was in the room to distract Emily from my exit?

None of that mattered now as tears continued to flow. How could Sam be that stupid? How could he forget about _everything_ that was ours? How could he give _everything_ to her?

"Leah?" I heard his voice from behind me, and then I felt his cold hands and his gentle touch on my shoulders.

"Go away Cullen . . .please" I murmured through the anger and pain I felt, I would have given anything to phase right now but I felt no charge of any kind, I felt like a car battery that went dead. Edward made no move to leave me, if anything he held me tighter.

"The man's a fool Leah. The imprint has him so disoriented that he thought it was _their_ song. Emily has corrected him and he feels horribly." He words didn't make it any better. He turned me to face him, I refused to meet his stare, and he wiped my tears away and then held me his arms. All I could think was how Emily had gotten what I had wanted most in life, I had wanted a child with Sam, little Sammie should have been mine. "Maybe you can have that now with someone else . . . if that is what you want" Edward offered.

"I don't really know what I want anymore . . ." I said catching my breath, I went to pull away from him and he tightened his grip. I looked up at him, he lowered his head so that his nose was now touching mine, and my will broke as I allowed him to kiss me. I knew as his tongue entered my mouth that I had once again allowed the portal to our own personal hell to be opened and that this time we both were damned.


	2. Chapter 2

**Again . . . I want to pay respect to the creator of The Heart At It's Darkest ChemicalJane for creating the story that has my brain in knots. As of right now I see this story going two ways and I am still debating within myself how it will go. So I'm setting up for both major events and I will let the chips fall where they may . . . please read and review**

I hated myself for what I had done. I had lied to myself. I thought I was different that I had changed. Edward's kiss had proven me wrong. I had allowed him to lift me to Jacob's workbench, slowly allowing his hands to go up my lavender sundress and tug at my panties. As soon as his fingertips touched the lace of my panties, my insides began to throb erratically desiring him to enter me. It took everything in me to stop him. I thought he would be angry but he seemed amused, he ran his hands through his hair and delivered one of his lopsided smirks.

"Your words and your thoughts are in disagreement," he pressed himself close to me, "I think I know what you want . . . but I guess I have no choice but to wait until you figure it out." With that he helped me down and we exited the scene of the almost crime.

Now night has turned to day and I'm stuck here pacing back and forth waiting for his sister. I had told myself I would tell Rosalie, why because I wanted her to know that I am not a home wrecker and that I didn't plan on doing it again, hell I didn't plan on doing it the first time. I touched my lips remembering the sting of Edward's sweet kiss. Why would he do this to me? He must hate me now to put me in such a position. I thought he and all the boys had there little fight club thingy to keep them busy, why would he open up hell with me again.

"He won't I be damned first!" I shouted.

"You'd be damned before what?" Rose asked I turned towards her and I see, Emmett and the devil himself, dressed in a light grey polo and black jeans. Asshole, why in the hell would he show up here after what just happened last night. I sighed uncomfortably, maybe my frustration toward him could be channeled some how.

"I dunno just damned in general." I grumbled. I wiped my hands on my jeans shorts even though there was nothing on them I just needed a reason not to look up. I didn't want to look at his annoying perfection. Why was his shirt so damned tight, it could see the definition of his chest, the chest I longed to press myself against . . . shit he can hear me, I really have to readjust to my thoughts not being my own.

"Well aren't we all," Rose said rather bluntly, "are you ready to do this?" She held out her hand encouraging me to attack her. I felt odd doing this in front of Edward today, but when I took a moment to glance in his direction his head was in a book. If he wanted to read he could that anywhere, why didn't he stay his happy ass at home? He smirked, that's right my thoughts, mind rapist.

Rose and I fought for a straight hour she got the better of me three out of four times, but never once did I feel as if I could phase. "Sorry Leah, I don't why it didn't work this time."

"Maybe it's just meant for me to turn back human, which is fine I have done no real great deeds as a shapshifter anyway." I plopped on the ground.

"I don't know Leah for someone who is turning into a human you hit pretty hard; you knocked my girl down more times than I could count." Emmett laughed as he spanked Rose on the rear.

"Nice Emmett you're such a gentlemen." I said dryly.

"After all these years she stills seems to like my behavior." He dove into a kiss with her. It was crazy how in love the two were they were always touching always kissing. I was envious, all I had was that a small piece of plastic that had become my lover, and to be honest it wasn't that fulfilling I would have to become more particular in my future purchases.

"Now that your attempts at provoking anger in Leah have failed, my suggest something?" Edward said now at my side and seeming engaged in our conversation.

"Sure . . . of course you would have some sort of solution." I huffed. I wanted people to think I couldn't stand him. I wished that I could convince him that I was really pissed at him but I know any attempt at that would be a waste of time and energy on my part. He smirked as he pulled out his phone and made a phone call. I wondered how you could be attracted to someone and want to bust a cap in their head at the same time . . . again another activity that would be pointless because it wouldn't kill him. Maybe I should do it anyway; it would be hilarious to see the look on his face.

"Now." Was all he said before hanging up the phone and pulling me from by random thoughts. I frowned curious as to what he had set in motion. Sam and Emily came from over the hill. Nice, he would play on the one thing in this world that still caused me pain. "It's also the thing that angers you the most." He said thoughtfully "Maybe if you told him how you really felt, released your hell on him just once it would allow you to phase." He placed his hand on my back, but then acted if it were an accident.

"What's this about Cullen," Sam said angrily all the while holding Emily's hand, "you said Leah need our help . . . she looks fine from here." He looked me over and I rolled my eyes I knew that he didn't really want to be here; he probably wouldn't care if I fell into some black hole and disappeared from this Earth. Maybe that would be best for everybody.

"Look I don't need you, thanks but you can both go on your merry little way." I walked away from all of them.

"That's what I thought Cullen you're full of shit, you think you know everything about everybody truth is I still know Leah better than you could ever wish to." Sam stated arrogantly.

"You think you know me? How dare you even begin to think you know what's inside my head. If you really knew me you would have been more sympathetic to the fact that I was in love with you for years and you expected me to get over . . . what happened . . . in a matter of months."

"Leah but you were making everyone miserable. There had to be a better way you could have dealt with your pain." Emily said, her voice was full of sympathy and concern. I couldn't help but hate my cousin, Sam had imprinted on her, he couldn't help that but she chose to love him, a million times she told me she tried to fight it, but I still felt she just didn't try hard enough. She seemed happy to steal my happily ever after.

"Look I don't want to get angry, not this way!" I huffed at the two of them, "so if you all will excuse me." I went to walk away from all of them. I needed a few strong drinks and to put the past back in the past. Edward was really trying to destroy my resolve.

"Leah," Emmett stopped me grabbing me arm, "but anger is what you need to initiate . . . the thing." He said in a sorry attempt to be secretive, I didn't want everyone knowing about my situation but it seemed like more and more people were becoming aware.

"No need to use petty code words leech," Sam voice boomed, I still hadn't wrapped my head around why he deemed it necessary to talk so loud. "I know that she can't phase anymore."

"That's not true! I can't believe you would trust _his_ word over coming to me and learning the truth! Then again this is about your speed Sam you were never one to use logic or common sense for that matter!" I glared at both Edward and Sam, "I phased last week . . . tell them Rose!"

"Yeah she did . . . but it took her hours." She stated, she was blunt yet apologetic at the same time.

"But it happened! Look I'm not gonna just sit here and . . ." Acidic burning roared in my stomach. I grabbed for my stomach and hurled over in pain. They must have thought I was going to phase but it never felt like this, this feeling was like a poison being spread throughout my body. I dropped to my knees.

"That's right Leah give into it, maybe this will help you embrace reality and move on." Sam said, his voice made the piercing feeling worse. I wanted to tell him to shut the hell up, that as always he had no clue what he was talking about, but all that came out was a pathetic groan. It wasn't gonna happen, I looked at my hands there was no shaking, no trembles.

"Just me . . ." a desperate anger traveled through me, it seemed that the heavens seemed to share my rage as the blue sky turned gray, and as my tears fell so did the rain. "I'm just me there's nothing left." I whispered I looked up to see them all looking at me with pity and concern. I had to get away from their stares I had to deal with this alone, more importantly figure out what it all meant. "You can all fuck off!"

Now that everything I wanted as a human was out of my reach, the heavens have seen fit to give back my mortality. I had wanted to stay young until I found someone to grow old with. It's not that I didn't want to become old. I just didn't want to be old and miserable. "Oh well . . . there are more important things in life." I raised my knees to my chest and rested my chin on them. "Like my unfinished quest to find purpose or something . . . I dunno." I smirked at the profound conversation I was having with myself. I had always thought about becoming a nurse, or a teacher something where I could help someone. Maybe it was time I go to college figure my now human life out.

"That sounds like a plan." Edward said now sitting beside me in the forest. It annoyed me that he was always around, especially now that I was . . . ABCDEFG!! "What are you doing?" He looked at me as if I had lost my mind.

"I am saying the alphabet in my head so that you won't steal my private thoughts! You have nerve showing up here after humiliating me the way you did!" I rolled my eyes at him I was really pissed, I had nothing to say to him. He could take his addictive smoldering stare and jump off a cliff.

"I'm sorry you don't agree with my decision to get Sam involved but he still triggers the deepest feelings of hurt and anger within you. I knew that if you couldn't phase with him around that . . ."

"That what? That I have no control over my own body!" I huffed, "Point blank it wasn't your decision to make Cullen, if I wanted Sam involved I could have asked him, but I didn't want him or anyone on the Res to know, not until I was sure. You should have seen that." I said pointing to my head.

"I did." He murmured. "I felt it had to be done, even if you wouldn't." I glared at him and his looked stayed the same, sometimes I swear he made my blood boil. He had some nerve thinking he had any right to dictate anything in my life. Then for him to just sit there and stare at me like that . . . like he had done nothing wrong.

"What are you like my dad now?" I stood up preparing to storm off pissed. "Way outta line Cullen!" I growled.

"You're not going to ask me why I was invasive in your life?" He continued to talk as I walked off. I didn't want to hear his voice or even think about him anymore. He had easily caught up to me and was now walking at my side.

"I personally don't give a sh . . ." He grabbed me, covered my mouth, and had backed me into a tree. Most of his body was now pressed up against mine and for as angry as I was at him my mind still envisioned him forcing himself inside me.

"Leah, how would your mother feel about your profanity." He smirked I rolled my eyes and tried to shove him away. To my surprise it seemed like I was still able to move him, maybe the _magic_ hasn't left me completely. "I need to tell you . . . that I brought Sam here for selfish reasons. I needed to know what was going on with you. I _really_ don't want you to be human."

I glared at Edward, his hand was still over my mouth. Why was that he was so desperate for his precious Bella to stay human, but when it came to me he wanted me to suffer the loneliness and despair of walking the Earth alone forever. I never said I didn't want to become human again; it just wasn't what I wanted right now. At least it was good to have confirmation that it was true, Edward did and still does love Bella, he probably never . . . "HMMMMM!" I screamed my mouth was still being covered, I just knew he was sitting there soaking my thoughts up like a sponge. I tried to shove him away harder this time I wasn't going to make any confessions to him in my mind or otherwise.

"Look Leah we need to ta" He took his hand from over my mouth but still kept me pinning to the tree.

"What's going on here?" Jacob frowned, I had no idea where he came from, but I was thankful.

"Hey Jake!" Edward had distanced himself from me, giving me the opportunity to run up to Jacob and embrace him. I needed him to just chill me with so that I could get over the stupidity that was today.

"Hey wanna go hit up a movie or something?" He asked, it was like he was reading my mind but in a positive helpful way. It was weird how Jacob hadn't even spoken to Edward when I left the two were on good speaking terms now it seemed like Jacob couldn't stand him again.

"You okay?" I asked concerned by his demeanor, he did seem kinda tense. His hands were in fists and I could see veins following through his forearms.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good," he sighed, "I just need to get away . . .ya know disappear for a while." He said, I knew exactly what he meant. He must have known I would that's why he chose me, I was the queen of needing a minute.

"Yeah a movie sounds like an awesome plan for tonight" I hitched myself to Jacob's arm and started walk away with Jacob, who I had now officially dubbed my hero for getting me out of stressful situation that I considered unnecessary. "Later Cullen." I whispered trying not to think of my sadness of leaving him. Today had been a wake up call for me, a call I wish I had never answered.

"God Jake, way to pick out the worst movie I have ever seen in my entire life!" I said as we walked across my front lawn.

"It's not my fault the preview misleading!" He laughed nudging me in the ribs.

"Ow Jake! How dare you hit a lady!" I snorted and walked past him.

"Haha you think lady . . . that's funny!" He held his stomach overwhelmed by his laughter he was now lying in the grass trying to catch his breath. I stood there staring at him as if he had finally snapped. "Well I thought it was funny." He sighed.

"Don't you know by now that you're the only one that finds your stupid little jokes funny!" I said messing with him; I lay beside him on the ground. He was the only one on the Res besides my family that I felt completely at peace with. In an alternate universe, Jacob and I would have been the perfect couple, mainly because he was the only guy besides Sam that truly understood my personality and my warped sense of humor. We could have blended our names like the celebrities do Jeah or Lacob, I laughed at my stupid thought.

"What?" Jacob rose to his elbows and looked at me curiously.

"Nothing. I was just thinking about hookin up with you." I said sarcastically sad thing was that I sometimes I actually wondered what would have happened between us if he hadn't imprinted on Bella's . . . thing. I mean visually Jacob is attractive I could see and appreciate that, but he never made me tingle, but with time or some tequila.

"Oh yeah we should just screw on your mother's lawn." He took his shirt off and looked at me as if he was going to kiss me. I took everything in me not to laugh in his face, by imprint rule it should be next to impossible for him to do anything that would make his imprint unhappy. So why was he trying to flirt with me?

"I'm down if you are . . ." I leaned in knowing that he was any minute he was going to pull away. I brushed my lips against his. "Jacob!" I shoved him so hard that he grabbed and rubbed his shoulder.

"What!" He looked at me devilishly.

"You were going to let me kiss you!" I acted as though I was disgusted when in reality I was more shocked. "I feel sorry for your little imprint, you cheating on her this way." I laughed and he glared at me.

"It's not like that between Ness and me . . . not yet anyway and there is no guarantee that there will ever be." His face became somber there was something that he wasn't telling me, but I knew Jacob if he really wanted me to know something he would tell me. We lay in the grass I closed my eyes and sighed, a cool breeze whipped across my skin causing it to buzz. Edward, my thoughts wandered to the time he had chased me into my mother's house, he lifted me over his shoulder and carried me upstairs it was the first time we had sex in my mom's house, in my bed, the first time I screamed his name during the act.

"You still with me?" Jacob asked, unfortunately snapping my mind back into reality.

"Yeah." I yawned, "I'm here." I turned and looked at him to prove that I was still awake. He smiled at me with sad eyes.

"I know Leah . . ." His voice became deeply and filled with dread.

"Yeah the phasing thing sucks." I sighed my memories went back to earlier today and how Edward used Sam to hurt me.

"What are you talking about?" He was confused and so was I.

"What wait what are you talking about?" I sat up and glared at him not willing to give him any unnecessary information.

"You and Edward before you left . . . I know," he looked down, "you may have ruined my life by fucking that leech." His statement was heartfelt but I didn't get how his life could be ruined by my moment of recklessness.

"How are you gonna make a decision in my life about you? And how did you find out anyway?" I stared at him, just because he felt uncomfortable didn't mean that I had to. Truth was that I had embraced what happened, and I felt bad that Edward was married at the time but I didn't regret my time with him, no one would make regret what we had.

"None of that matters Leah, I just wanted to let you know that I know, and that I'm not mad." He smiled at me as if he had done me some sort of favor.

"Why the hell would you be mad I didn't do anything to you!" I scoffed I was astounded by his self-centeredness.

"I wish I could explain everything . . ." He sat up and prepared himself to leave, "but I promised that I wouldn't even talk to you about this, I gotta go." With that, he ran into the forest within minutes I heard a large thump on the ground, then all four of his paws began to hit the Earth as he traveled away from me.

I was sure that if it was still into my body to phase I would phase today, both Jacob and Edward had messed with my emotions yesterday. I trusted them both in different ways of course; Jacob statements had completely surprised me. I was still trying to figure it all out. I was pissed that he was blaming me for any misfortunes that was happening to him now, I had been gone for years I was more that sure that nothing in his life was my fault. It was everybody else that couldn't let go of the past . . . I had, or so I kept telling myself.

Today, I wanted to be by myself. I went to my place of Earth closed my eyes and focused on all my angry feelings. I was hurt that nothing had changed here and that I was falling back into my old habits. Edward . . . the feelings were different but the same. When I looked at him my chest tightened, the shit hurt, I knew I had missed him physically, hell I was almost thirty and single I have needs just like anyone else. His stare was etched in my head like he was trying to control me.

"Not gonna happen Cullen" I said aloud.

"What's not going to happen?" Rosalie said now entering my line of view she wasn't alone she had brought Jasper and Alice with her. Why did she always sneak up on me when I was about to have of a moment clarity?

"Shit you scared the crap out of me!" I glared at her, "Rose didn't you get my text I wanted to be alone today."

"Can't say that I did," she lied waving her phone around, "damned technology!" She laughed. They all moved toward me and I stood up and became defensive for all I know Rosalie kindness could have been an act to get me to let my guard down, this would be the perfect opportunity for them to get their revenge for attempting to ruin Edward's life.

"I wanted to just bring Jasper but Alice was determined to tag alone." Rose rolled her eyes.

"You asked me if Leah could borrow my husband," Alice said to Rose accusingly, "considering Leah's track record I wasn't gonna let her near him without being present . . . no offense Leah." She smiled sweetly.

"Right." I couldn't see how the statement would possibly be anything but offensive but didn't let her words bother me. I saw Alice as a tick or flea something that tries to get under your skin but in the end you just flick it off and you're all the better for it.

"Anyway . . . I wanted to use Jasper's abilities to heighten your emotions to see if that will help with your situation." Rose said pulling Jasper to the forefront. "Jasper if you please?"

"It would my be pleasure . . ." He smirked at me as his stare became trance like I felt the rage build within me burning the inside of my stomach so that acidic feeling I had before was now bubbling.

"STOP! GOD YOUR KILLING ME PLEASE!!" I had dropped to my knees doubled over in pain. I couldn't cry because I had already accepted the fate of the situation. That I was no longer immortal, Jasper offered me his hand to assist me in standing upright. He wrapped his arms around me; he must have been able to feel my despair after a moment I pushed away from him. I really didn't like being pitied especially by a leech.

"It doesn't make any sense you still have abnormal strength in your human form but it's like you wolf form has just disappeared." Rose reflected I could tell that like me she was trying to connect the dots.

"There's bound to be an answer to this" Alice said thoughtfully, "and I'm willing to search for it. It you agree to a deal with me?" She arched her eyebrow, somehow I felt like entering a deal with Alice would be like entering into a deal with Satan himself.

"What's the deal?" I said hesitantly.

"While I look for the answer you will move off the Res and live somewhere closer to Seattle," she said thoughtfully, "oh . . . and when I find the answer you have to promise that you will leave Washington forever." The little bugger was bold but she could afford to be, I was desperate to control my immortality.

"Oh is that it . . . Is there anything else? Are you sure you don't want me to take my own life or something," I said rolling my eyes at her.

"So is it a deal?" She extended her hand to me wearing her crazy like grin all the while. She would do anything to keep me away from her self-made couple.

"As if I have a choice?" She obviously had a plan and I wouldn't no where to look for the answers. I shook her hand entering into contract with Alice.

Boxes. I have a lot of shit. I didn't realize how much trivial stuff I had until all of it was packed up. A week had past since I had made my deal with Alice, she and Jasper had taken off to parts unknown. I packed everything in my room, which something my mom didn't want and couldn't understand.

"You could leave some of it honey you will be coming back to visit me." Her eyes filled with water, once she blinked the water would become tears and I would hate myself forever. How could I distance myself from her again? I knew what she had gone through with the death of my father. I was never really there for her like I should've been, mainly because of all of the shit that was going down in my life, with the changing to a huge wolf and all. Now that I could possibly rekindle my bond with her I had to leave and because of vampires. They were really trying to distance me from everything I loved most in this world.

"Mom that goes both ways you come and visit me as much as you like. Feel free to bring food and the occasional present." I hugged her which was an abnormal act for me but it was necessary I didn't want to see her tears fall, it was bad enough feeling her shudder as she sob silently. "Okay mom, pull it together! Think of it this way I will be a lot closer than when I was in Rome." I lifted one of the heavy boxes with ease and ran with it down the stairs. Getting away from the emotional drama upstairs, I sighed as relief was now in my driveway in the form of a U-Haul truck.

Rose had offered to help me move in to the new apartment mainly because she wanted to see it in person, while on the hunt for the place she was the one picked this apartment out. She exited the driver's seat only to open the back of the u-haul she rented. When she opened it, quite a few pieces of furniture were already inside. I glared at her. "What just because I don't shop religiously like Alice doesn't mean I don't have good taste! Besides these items are must haves or so the sales lady said." She shrugged.

"I don't like hand outs!" I murmured it was my second pet peeve it fell right under pity, and third were whiny needy people.

"Good because it's more like I'm throwing them at you really." She laughed as she started up the truck so the radio would play. We spent fifteen minutes loading the truck with some of my stuff it had quickly became clear to both of us that we would have to make multiple trips.

The first time we entered the apartment the area was so bare, it felt cold. I shook the thought and walked around the living room area. "It's nice right?" She asked in a more cautious tone as she cut on the lights.

"Yeah, I feel more independent already. I've always wanted my own permanent place of residence . . . I'm almost there." I sighed before walking around the rest of the apartment Rose followed me, for her benefit I talked out some of my plans as to how I wanted the rooms to look and decided on what needed to be brought in first. After my brief tour was over, we got started. I was on the third floor of the apartment building and for anyone else it would have been a real pain moving in but neither Rose nor I experienced discomfort moving the furniture. I had moved two drawers and a bookcase in by myself. It baffled me that I didn't break a sweat or feel the least bit out of breath.

We loaded up the U-Haul two more times and brought items to the new apartment. We had stopped at my mom's house once more to get the last of my things, but hunger sat in. It was 10:00PM and I hadn't eaten all day I decided to order three pepperoni and mushroom pizzas and a two litter coke before making our next trip. Rose and I sat on the floor in my room while I devoured everything. She looked horrified by my display.

"Chill out Rose it's just food damn!" I smirked, Edward used to look the same way when I ate in front of him.

"I know it's still disgusting just the same." She shrugged, "I'm going to ask you something you not going to like but I'm going to ask anyway." She said picking at the picking at the cardboard of one of my discarded pizza boxes.

"Thanks for the warning . . . what do you want to know?"

"Why did you just give into Alice like that? I know that you want to be immortal, but I was surprised that you just gave in to her so easily."

"I didn't give in to her. The reality is that I couldn't have stayed here for very long even if I wanted to. We both know why so don't ask any stupid questions about that." I looked around my almost empty room, "I wasn't planning on living with my mom forever, but it is sad to know that until ya'll leave I can't come home."

"Hmph . . . technically you don't have to move you could still stay. How would Alice know where you sleep? She's not here." Rose made a legitimate point but I now had it in my mind to leave.

"Yeah maybe I will visit my mom a couple of times before Alice comes back." I shrugged picking at my slice of pizza.

"Okay now for the question you're not going to like." Rose corrected her posture so that she was sitting way to straight it made her look like at statue.

"I thought you had already asked it, but okay whatever." I said raising the 2 liter to my lips to take a swig.

"What is it that you actually feel for Edward?" She bore into my eyes as she spoke, I didn't want to look away from knowing that she would take it as a sign of weakness or maybe think that I was going to lie regarding my answer, but wanted to reflect on her question.

"I feel . . . a little annoyed by his existence," I laughed the statement was true whenever I saw him at this point, I wished I hadn't, not because I didn't _want_ to see him, but because I knew I _shouldn't_ want to see him.

"Leah . . ." She berated me.

"That's an honest answer to your question," she rolled her eyes annoyed, "fine . . . I know that I feel lust for him . . . and I don't hate him but that is all I can give." I stood up and yawned. "You know I think I'm gonna spend one more night here. You want to pick up where we left off tomorrow?"

"Yeah sure." She got up taking the hint she had to have known that I was using the opportunity to avoid where her conversation was heading. "See ya tomorrow." She left my room closing the door behind her I took a deep breath planning to rejoice in my solitude when his aroma hit my nostrils.

"What Cullen?" I glared at him. I didn't understand why I couldn't get one moment alone since I got back there was always someone interrupting my me time.

"Why is that you call me Cullen? You call all of my family members by their first names . . .and there was a time that you new my first name very well," he approached me and strategically place his hand at my waist, "I remember a time when you used to scream it very, very loudly." Damn him, memories of him making me scream burst into my head, I involuntarily sighed deeply.

"You came here to ask me about a stupid nickname?" I pulled away from him so that he was no longer touching me. I had been doing my best at avoiding him, he wasn't going to screw me over, not tonight when I was almost free of all of this supernatural crazy shit.

"No . . . is this what you want Leah to move away from Forks?" He sat on my bare mattress; Rose and I had already taking the dressing to the new apartment. I was still debating about taking the mattress it still faintly carried the scent of Edward and I, which may be why I get so turned on when I lay on it, hell maybe I should get rid of the sheets too for that matter. Slight laughter pulled me away from my thoughts.

"Oh hell yeah, I need to get out of here," I grumbled, "staying here would only make me go crazy and hate everybody that I claim to love." It was amusing realization that I had just dawned on me; I loved everyone a lot more when I was away from them.

"I'm glad Alice has gone to find the answer to your immortality or the lack there of, like I said I would rather you stay immortal."

"Yeah . . . well don't count on her being able to dig up anything." I mumbled. I had just noticed that I was pacing in the floor in front of him, my whole body excited by his presence; unfortunately, I would have to disappoint my physical desires once again.

"Regardless of her findings I need to tell you something . . . Bella knows about us." He ran his hands through his hair in classic Edward fashion.

"How did she find out?" I was actually concerned for him, "When did it happen?"

"About six months after you had left, we were trying to make it work. Alice kept sending us on these vacations to rekindle the spark. Bella insisted that if we started having sex again that the feelings may come back. However, as a man I needed to be . . . _motivated _to perform such a task. Thoughts of you were the only things that motivated me enough to be able to please her. One night my memory was so vivid of you that ended up calling out for you while I was with her."

"Shit Cullen! You never screamed my name when we actually were together what would make you do it now!" I resumed my pacing now I was actually scared for my life, now that I wasn't able to defend myself there was nothing stopping Bella from killing me easily and with much satisfaction. That would be the perfect ending to my life being killed by a woman that I thought weak and spineless.

"I won't let her touch you! You have my promise, besides you'd be surprised by how well she took it. I think it was easier for her because you weren't here." He shrugged, "I just didn't want you to be caught off guard."

"Well, I'm glad things are good between you two at least." I said still processing his information.

"I didn't say that!" He scoffed. "Will you sit down your pacing is quite annoying." I glared at him before taking a seat at the far end of my bed. "Bella is the mother of my daughter, and I will honor her because she is. I owe her because she was willing to risk her life to care for our child. She will always have my gratitude, but as far as my love is concerned . . . I don't love her . . . not the way I once did." We sat in silence I didn't know what he wanted me to say, so I said nothing.

"You know what pisses me off?" Edward whispered breaking the silence.

"What?" I looked at his was now twisted face into this indescribable expression.

"You Leah, and your hypocritical behavior, you claim that you can't stand Bella because she is whiny, self serving, self centered, and weak."

"The list is longer but you hit the most important characteristics on the head." I smirked.

"But look at what you're doing . . . you don't think this is a weak move running away like this?"

"Whoa, I'm not running from anything! I made a deal and I'm honoring it, that's all!" I went to stand up but placed his hand on my shoulder holding me in the sitting position. Once he felt that I wasn't going to move he removed his hand, placed it in his pocket, and pulled out an old piece of paper.

"Here . . ." I unfolded the paper it was the letter I had sent to him over a year ago.

"Why would you keep this? I told you to ditch it, I swear Cullen you can't follow the simplest instructions." Even though I berated him, my heartbeat jumped, I knew he wanted to address the letters content. Which meant that he was going to tell me how he felt, which was something I wasn't prepared for not tonight.

"When I read your letter the first time it excited me. In all the times, I had been with you, you never thought about loving me and here in this letter was my proof that you had at least thought about it. When I left you in the hotel room that was the first time that I realized that what we had was becoming more that we could allow it to be. The first time I realized was falling for you. When you left, I thought the feelings would disappear but instead they have become stronger." He paused for a moment; hopefully he was done because I didn't want to hear anymore. I had asked all of those questions in hopes that I would never receive the answers to the questions because hearing the answers meant addressing my own feelings.

"Cullen . . . Edward, please don't say anymore okay." I patted his knee and was about to ask him to leave, but I heard his laughter it was an odd paring of amusement and disgust.

"Leah, my feelings don't matter. When you came back, I thought that we would have this talk and I would find the answer to the questions posed in the letter. Do you love me? Do I love you? Imagine my surprise when I am in Jacob's garage consoling you about your feelings for Sam. SAM! THE RAT ASS BASTARD SAM!" My eyes widened with slight horror I had never experienced an Edward so angry, he sighed and composed himself. "Truth is this Leah Clearwater, Sam doesn't love you, not anymore . . . and you don't love me, not once have you thought about loving me since you have been here. Sure you have thought about fucking me but that seems to be extent of you affections toward me." He looked as if tears would have been falling from his face if it were possible for him to cry.

"That's not . . ." I debated opening up this can of worms with him but since I was moving and hopefully I would never see him again I could afford to be truthful, "I refuse to admit to any feelings for you at all. Point blank you are MARRIED and we shouldn't be having this convo at all."

"So I guess you want me to leave then?" He angrily stood up and moved toward the window.

"Look . . ." I grabbed his hand, "this isn't the way I want my last memory I have of you to end. Edward you _were _a very close friend and I missed you when I was gone and I will miss you when I leave again can't we leave it at that."

"Right," his tone was tone was very blunt, but nonetheless he pulled me toward him and embraced me. He nestled his head in the crook of my neck and inhaled deeply. I pressed my body against his getting, as close as I could muster and squeezing so tight that he was human I would have possibly caught off his circulation. "I will miss you too." I didn't want him to be hurt by me; the fact was I didn't want to admit to loving Edward because I knew that only pain would follow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note: Sorry it has been a while since I updated. I hope that this chapter has a little bit of everything. Again, thanks to ChemicalJane for the idea and letting me extend it. As always, let me know what you think!**

September . . .

I had been living on my own so long. I hadn't phased in over two months and honestly, I hadn't tried. My new life looked like it would be something I could be proud of. I had started taking some courses at Shoreline University. Microbiology had become my life. It wasn't that I necessarily loved the subject, it was just that the course was so time consuming.

If I wasn't in class, studying, or working, I was sleeping. Sleep was something that I'd begun to dread; that was the only place the supernatural remained a living breathing entity in my life. At night, he would come for me and I had no choice but to succumb to him. If I didn't my entire slumber would be restless. No matter what preventive actions I would take, he would still end up "sneaking" into my bed. Each time it was the same, he would join me in the bed I would feel his hands as they traveled under my shirt and began to tease at my nipples. I would try to fight his attempts at seducing me, he would end up ripping my shirt, exposing my breasts… and then we would fuck. There was no need to be but descriptive, it was disgusting how perverted my subconscious was becoming. All I could dream about was him inside of me and at the end of each dream he would ask me, "Do you love me now, Leah."

The last conversation I had with Edward had thrown me for a loop. Why was he was so concerned with me loving him anyway? If my memory served me correctly, he had never claimed to love me, either; and I for damn sure wasn't gonna admit to anything. Not before he did anyway, and what would be the point? I still wasn't one hundred percent sure "love" was what I felt for the leechman. Concern mixed with lust doesn't necessarily amount to love, people have fuck buddies all the time. It could be as simple as I just missed my buddy.

During the day, however I tried not to think about any of this. My focus was on microbiology and making the grade. So far I was head and shoulders above anyone in my class. It made me feel good, being considered the smart one for a change. When I was in high school I'd cruised through; I had never applied myself like I was doing now.

Unfortunately for me my daytime realities were about to mingle with my nighttime fantasies. As I sat in the front row of lab tables, on my lab stool, waiting for the professor to start with his lesson, this sugary sweet smell began to cause my nose to tingle, and then to burn. I knew that smell only too well. He entered the classroom and he actually seemed startled by my presence, which was weird because it was rare that anything would really startle Edward at all. I couldn't believe he was going to force himself in my life yet again. He sat in the back of the room at the desk by himself. At least that was typical behavior for him. If he was by himself he wouldn't be tempted by the all of the fresh juicy human blood in the room. For some odd, crazy reason an 'all you can eat buffet' came to mind.

An hour and forty-five minutes went by. The professor's lecture on bacteriology went from intelligible words into Charlie Brown teacher mumbles. I had to focus on not looking behind me. If I looked behind me I planned to glare at him with intent to kill. On second thought, he could sit there. I could have cared less if he was here; the reality was this was still class, I was still here and still knew what I was here for. After the professor ended the class, I started to gather my things.

"I didn't know you were in this class," he said softly, almost at a whisper, the same tone he used to murmur words of lust when we used to… whatever. "If you want I will drop the course."

"I don't care what you do." I murmured brushing past him, throwing my backpack over my shoulder.

"Leah," he grabbed my elbow. "Wait." Now was the appropriate time for my glare.

"Well what, Cullen? You have my undivided attention." I ground out.

"Aren't you the least bit curious why I am up here, taking classes?" He stepped closer to me, then removed my bag and placed it on his own shoulder.

"I bet you're gonna tell me." I crossed my arms. I dared not make a fool out of myself by trying to regain my belongings; we both knew who would win that battle. Edward was just extremely old school; he was proof that chivalry was undead. I laughed at my own corny joke and he rolled his eyes.

"That was… wow." He said sarcastically.

"Yep, sometimes I amaze myself," I retorted smugly. I decided to start walking to my car; I knew he would follow especially since he had my stuff. "Feel free to continue your little ramblings about what you're doing in Seattle, stalking me." He laughed and fell in step with behind me.

"I was becoming bored with Forks." He began his explanation. "I needed an outlet so that I could keep my sanity." We stopped when we reached my car. It was simple no profound drawn out speech about his feelings, I could appreciate that.

"Yeah, I've lived there. I know," I said standing by the car door that I couldn't open because my keys were in my backpack. I made a mental note to keep them on my person from now on.

"Ness loves it there. I don't know how we are going to explain to her that once she has stopped growing, we will have to move." Edward's face became full of concern for his daughter's situation.

"She'll deal. I mean the most important person to her is Jacob, and you know that he's bound to go with wherever she goes due to the whole imprint thing. She'll be fine." I said in a matter-of-fact tone, "Come on, Cullen, put that freaky mind trick to good use, you should have seen that!" I chuckled, trying to lighten his mood. I didn't like when he was all-serious, it made him kind of dreary to be around.

"You're right, I should have seen that. To be honest I hadn't even thought about Jacob traveling with us, which means that Seth will probably want to come as well, maybe even Embry and Quil for that matter."

"I don't know about all that. I know Seth won't want to leave mom all alone." Now I was worried I didn't want Seth to leave mom all alone. Someone had to be there to protect her.

"With us gone she won't need much protecting, and I am sure you and your brother will both stay in contact with her. And like you said, neither one of you planned on living with you parents forever." He smirked as he used my own words against me. When I'd said he should put his mind trick to good use, I meant on other people, not me.

"Well, that was before I knew that monsters really exist." I countered. "Who knows, next thing you know, evil little leprechauns could start taking over the area."

"Not true. I have heard your thoughts and recently you admitted to not believing that you would live with you mom forever." I rolled my eyes at him. "Plus, in all my years of existence I have never seen an evil leprechaun." He twitched his eyebrows a couple times.

"Just because I didn't plan to live in the same space with her it didn't mean I didn't want to be _around_ her." I said thoughtfully, I was being trite but I didn't care. Sometimes, and by 'sometimes' I mean most of the time, it irked me to allow Edward to have the last word.

"Well maybe she could come, too." He bit his lip in an attempt not to laugh, "And then, of course, you would have to come along, or at the very least be close by, because you want to be _around_ her to know that she is safe, right?"

"Jeez Cullen, has anyone ever told you that you're an annoying ass?" I slumped on the trunk of my car.

"Yeah, you and only about a hundred times, but I tend to tune you out." He copied my motion and was now leaning on my car too; he had better not leave a dent on anything.

"I just want to make sure you are aware." I laughed.

"Yeah." He stepped around until he was facing me and lifted me so I was now sitting on the trunk. He let his hand linger at my waist momentarily, the expression that caught on his face made me wonder what he was thinking.

"I was thinking that I am selfish." He answered my thoughts. "I want you to move with us when we leave, and I know that it's completely unfair to you but I don't know that I can leave you... here in Washington."

"At least you don't have to think about moving for at least a couple of years yet. Things could be completely different by then." He could hate me by then. Hell, I could hate him by then, and this conversation won't even matter.

"True." He sighed.

"But now I have a question for you Cul... Edward." I smiled at him and took the sides of his face in my hands.

"Yes Leah?" His eyes smoldered as they stared into mine. Almost instantly the area below my bellow button began to throb at his nearness and something that was supposed to be funny took on a whole other tone.

"I... I was... when you were gonna give me my key? I don't want to be standing in the parking lot all night." I gave a teasing laugh.

"Of course, you're right," he said returning my belongings.

* * *

October...

I knew Rose would not be happy with me staying away from Forks so long. One rainy day I heard three quick knocks on my door.

"Hey!" I quickly opened the door since I recognized her scent. I was excited by her presence. I had become a little homesick and Seth hadn't returned even one of my calls. When I opened the door I saw Rose's face crowned by her golden locks as expected, but what I didn't expect and what caused dread through my entire body was Bella's little... Ness to be with her.

"Hey Leah," Rose looked exhausted which was crazy because it was impossible for them to be tired, because they can't sleep. "Ness was having a bad day so we decided to go for a drive and we ended up here. I hope you don't mind?" She placed their wet attire on the coat rack by the door.

"Nope, it's fine with me. I was just looking over my next chapter and having a couple beers, typical Saturday." Ness went to the couch, picked up my book, and studied it.

"My dad has this book too he has been constantly studying it as well." Ness said thoughtfully and Rose glared at me.

"Really?" I thought about letting the conversation drop, but I had nothing to hide so I was going to act as such. "That's because he's in my class and it sucks. I used to be the smartest one in the class until he came along, now he is constantly one-upping me." I laughed and so did Ness.

"That sounds like my dad." Ness proceeded to wander around my apartment, taking everything in. It would probably take her all of five minutes, the apartment wasn't that big, but that five minutes would be enough time for Rose to run me through the ringer.

"Why didn't you tell me you have been spending time with Edward?" I couldn't tell if she was happy or annoyed by the news.

"I haven't. He sits on the back row of my microbiology class and I ignore him for a little over an hour ever other day." I made my way to the kitchen area and pulled out some chips and dip. "The kid eats human stuff right?" Rose nodded but didn't allow the previous conversation to drop.

"So you haven't even talked to him?" Rose opened the jar and spread some of the dip on the tray.

"Damn I didn't know I wasn't allowed to do that. We did have one conversation at the very beginning but since then I have barely said 'hi' and 'bye' to the guy. You happy?" I snapped. I didn't like being interrogated.

"But you want to... talk to him?" She smirked, "I think Edward needs to get a separation just until everything is figured out. I mean who are we to have figured that just because Edward and Bella had an attraction in the beginning that they were meant to be together forever. That's a long time, forever. I personally don't want to live with the two of them the way they are for the rest of eternity." She whispered so that Ness couldn't hear. I didn't say anything, I just walked to the living room with my chips and beer. Ness had already made her way to living room and was entertaining herself with the TV.

"Want some?" Handed her the tray, she grabbed a few of the chips and her eyes widened when she tasted one.

"These are actually quite good. Mom never lets me have this kind of food." She took a few more.

"Oh, I didn't know." I tried to take the tray back and she pulled it towards her.

"Obviously it's no matter, Jacob does the same thing, he'll occasionally sneak me junk food. I love chocolate." She smiled.

"I'm a chocolate fan myself." I said trying to be nice to the girl, it was the least I could do; a couple of years ago I had almost destroyed her family.

"You don't have to be nice to me you know, I know I freak you out." Ness laughed a little. Rose looked shocked.

"You're scared of little Nessie?" She began to laugh.

"I'm not scared of her," I glared at Rose, "and you don't freak me out . . . I just don't want you to touch me. I don't like having my mind manipulated." I wasn't mean or rude but I wanted to be clear it was powerful strength to have the ability to give someone else your thoughts.

"That makes sense," Rose said. "But in Ness' defense, she doesn't show you anything bad, it's like a whisper and a video."

"I betcha I could show you things you didn't know I know," she arched her eyebrow in a very Edward like manner. "I could show you both." She got on the couch between Rose and me, "allow me to do it this once and I will never try to do it again."

"Fine!" I tensed up and cringed.

"Great!" She touched both Rose's and my legs. All of a sudden, my thoughts were pushed to the back of my mind and Ness' visions took over. She showed Rose and me in the kitchen, then I heard Rose's words again, _I think Edward needs to get a separation just until everything is figured out_, I then heard Ness' voice like a narrator in my mind, "I heard you, but it's okay." She then showed us past memories of Edward and his wife, her mother. They smiled at their daughter, holding her between them, practically awed by this child. _As great as this looks I know something is not right, I may be young, but I can sense that something is off_. She sighed and released us from her vision.

"I'm sorry honey, I didn't mean for you to hear what I was talking to Leah about." Rose smoothed the child's hair.

"It's totally fine. You shouldn't apologize for your opinions. I don't know what's going on with my parents, but neither of them is happy." She shrugged. "I feel stupid that I didn't realize that they may be causing each other the unhappiness they are suffering, I had chalked it up to living this monotonous life that we are all forced to live. I mean seriously, my dad goes out and fights in a cage for amusement, that's not normal."

"Your dad's a vampire, that's not normal." I smirked; she glared at me momentarily then smiled as well.

"Touché," she sent back my way.

Nessie sighed, "I wished something could just be normal, for example like why couldn't my parents look like my parents instead of like my older siblings? Why can't I have real friends my age? Why couldn't I age normally? I'm a freak! A huge freak! The biggest freak of them all!" The girl's tone had gone from a composed low murmur to a loud frantic scream. Rose was baffled, apparently the child had never went on like this before. To me it was all too familiar, Edward goes on these tangents were he blames himself for everything or thinks that he is the worst monster in the world; his daughter had apparently inherited that characteristic.

"HEY! I hate to be the one to give you this new flash sweetheart but we are all freaks in one way or another." I broke in and the girl just stared at me with eyes filled with water. "In reality what is normal anyway, not to sound profound or anything but no life can truly be classified as normal because no one lives a typical life identical to anyone else's, there is no particular status quo."

"But... but I-" I cut her off when her tears started to fall.

"No, I'm not gonna sit hear and allow you to whine over this bull shit. If you want to whine, you're gonna have to think of something else to be pissy over because this is pathetic at best!" I smoothed the child's hair, she had her mother's eyes, but everything else about her face was Edward. She laid her head on my chest, she wasn't crying or anything, the act seemed almost instinctive. After a while she drifted to sleep and I placed her in the guest room.

"I never knew Ness felt that way," Rose seemed somber almost to point of being devastated. Why were these leechy people bringing me their problems?

"She is probably just going through a phase. She'll grow out of it, and at the rate that she grows it will probably pass by quickly." I wondered if Edward knew his daughter's true feelings. Of course he should since he could read minds. I knew that if he knew his daughter was suffering he would be there for her, just like my dad was for me; no matter how stubborn or incredibly unreasonable I was being my dad always took my side.

"You're probably right, but I will let her parents know to watch her." Rose still looked worried.

"Shouldn't they be doing that anyway?" I asked.

"You know what I mean." She changed the subject. "So have you been doing any dating or anything juicy I would be interested in."

"Nope, I've just been doing my thang, working on my studies." I went to the kitchen and started cleaning things up. Rose followed me and leaned on the counter.

"It's crazy how Ness opened up to you and leaned on you that way." Rose looked at me like Ness' actions were symbolic of something.

"She didn't really open up. It's more like she freaked out and it wasn't to just me, it was to both of us." I corrected the blonde-haired person who seemed like she was becoming more and more attached to me. It was sad because just like with Edward, if we were in another world in another time, I would have probably been close to both of them.

"Look, all I'm saying is that you would make a good step mom." Rose laughed, "I can see you in the kitchen baking brownies for little Ness."

"Yep and the next day hell would freeze over."

"Who knows maybe it will."

Night fell and I was left alone in my space after Rose left with the kid. It annoyed me that Rose kept trying to inject me into Edward's life. I wanted my sick obsession for him to be gone; them being in my space today just made my desire for him worse.

"Oh Yes!" I moaned as my now nightly ritual began to deliver the deliciously sweet endorphins to my brain. My naked body began to perspire between the sheets, and desire for Edward to be there became stronger, I imagined him on top of me moving in his smooth perfectly steady pace. I missed the way he knew what I my body wanted even when I didn't, which was one of the benefits of sleeping with someone that was obsessed with the inner workings of my mind.

"Oh Edward, shit!" I grabbed the edge of my mattress with one hand as my other hand rubbed franticly against my clit. I was almost there, almost at the climatic moment that would ensure me a peaceful sleep without the interruption of Edward in my subconscious. When my phone went off it scared me so much I fell out of my bed completely ruining my good time.

"Hello!" I growled into the receiver.

"Umm... Leah?" His tone as smooth and rich as ever, it caused my whole body to tingle.

"What do want, Cullen?" I said as I composed myself and climbed back into the bed.

"I just wanted to thank you for comforting my daughter today. I knew she was hurting but she wouldn't converse with me, and when I asked Rosalie to try she just took the opportunity to see you, but your words really seemed to do the trick."

"I didn't say anything profound. I pretty much told her to stop whining and that nobody's life is normal or perfect so she might as well not waste the energy. You can use it, too, if you want; it's not copyrighted." I adjusted myself under the covers.

"Well thank you just the same. I didn't catch you at a bad time did I?"

"Are you really asking or are you fucking with me? Because you know I don't like being fucked with," I warned, but even I could hear the smile in my voice.

"I don't know, that's why I asked. I wasn't focusing on your thoughts before I called you, however I can see some of your stronger thoughts now. The last time I checked you were quite fond of being fucked with."

"Oh God, Edward, have you always been such a perve, or am I the only one that gets the pleasure of knowing this side of you?" I laughed.

"I honestly believe you are the only one that I am this blunt with. That's probably why it is so refreshing talking to you." There was a silence between us momentarily; it gave me the moment to realize my own movements. Until then I hadn't realized that I was caressing my breasts and that wet between my legs had at least doubled. Both Edward and I seemed to let out a sigh at the same time.

"I should probably go..." I didn't want to him to talk to me anymore, but I would save the memory of his tone and use it later. On the other hand, I sorta wished he were here so that... maybe we should just give up; it seemed like this was meant to happen again. Who where we to deny the inevitable? Hell, he had made his way back into my life even when his sister had "banished" me away to Seattle. The reality seemed to be that fate, or whatever, wanted us in the same place right now. Maybe we were just both meant to be damned.

"I won't have sex with you while you think it's wrong. When we were together last you were carefree and untamed. You have matured and I find that very attractive, but you are denying yourself some of your best characteristics on your quest for purpose or whatever." He stated frankly.

"Number one, get out of my head. Number two, I'm glad you won't have sex with me because there is no way in hell I'm gonna let you inside me again!" I countered and we both knew it was a lie. He laughed.

"Okay, well if we both don't want to have sex with each other, what is stopping us from being friends?"

"Your wife." I quipped, not giving the statement much thought. I shifted my weight in the bed and let my fingers follow the imaginary trail that led to my sweet spot. "Well to be fair she wouldn't be the only one that wouldn't approve. Alice wouldn't like it, Jasper would unhappy at Alice's unhappiness." My breath caught when delivering the statement. I couldn't believe my lack of self-control my fingers were now drenched with my own juices, I just had to stop the ache that he had caused. This was crazy hadn't I just finished telling him that there was no way in hell I would fuck him, but here I was preparing to please myself simply from the sound of his voice.

"My family wouldn't be only ones who might have problem," his voice seemed deeper and even kind of raspy each word he spoke made me tingle all over. "Your old pack members wouldn't like us together... hanging out."

"You're probably right." I breathed, I tried my best not to moan into the receiver.

"You know I am." He laughed under his breath.

"Yeah," I groaned a little to loudly it was time to end this conversation, "I'm... I'm... I gotta go"

"Wait, Leah?" He breathed. Why did he have to say my name, it only made it worse?

"Yeah?" I tried to gain some composure by slowing my movements.

"Let me hear you. I want to hear you finish." His voice sounded slightly less flowing than normal.

"Where are you?" I said quickening my motion producing another whimper to hit my lips.

"Sitting in the forest, I was planning to hunt, but that's not what I feel like doing anymore."

"Oh really? What do you want to do?" I just wanted him to keep talking until I finished.

"I want to be with you. I could give you a hundred times more pleasure than your fingers or that stupid piece of plastic. I want to lick you all over, there is nothing more that I want than to feel the sting of your hot flesh on my tongue, to tease your hard nipples between my fingers," I could hear as he unzipped his pants, "I want to be inside you I want to be there to make you moan that way."

"Oh God! I want that, too!" I began to gasp uncontrollably, "Oh Edward! I wish you were here!"

"Do you really want that Leah?" He breathed.

"Yeah." My body jerked as I delivered the answer. "YES, YES, OH YES!" As soon as my breath began to slow and my logical mind returned I immediately felt like a desperate idiot.

"Wow that was incredibly stupid." I covered my face with my comforter. I had an intense ping of regret flood over me. Why couldn't I have just let the leech thank me and hang up? Moreover, why hadn't I hung up already? "Look I have to go."

"I know; sweet dreams, Leah." Only he could say something like that and not sound like a douche bag.

"Night" I said quickly hanging up the phone.

* * *

Hell. My classroom, the one place I had begun to feel happy again, was now my hell. I dragged my feet as I approached the classroom, I had almost skipped the class, but I decided I was not going to allow this leech to affect my time or energy. I walked in and was careful not to even think about looking to the back of the classroom. Honestly, I didn't have to; as soon as I entered the hallway, I could smell his overly sweet aroma. Luckily form me I had thought of a foolproof plan to avoid thinking about anything that remotely involved last night. I was going to copy down verbatim what the professor spoke about, and if I became bored, or my thoughts started to drift I would simply began to copy the text.

Time crept by and as soon as my hand began to cramp, 15 pages of notes later, I was finally released from the tension. I took careful efforts not to appear anxious as I made my way for the door. Unfortunately, I could feel his presence as he approached me. I didn't want to talk to him; he had to know that it was the last thing I wanted right now.

"That's too bad because we need to-" as soon as he began to speak his cell phone buzzed from his front pants pocket. Great that was exactly where my attention needed to be drawn to.

"Rose?" He answered the phone and if I wasn't mistaken, he was more than a little annoyed. He seemed engrossed in their conversation; this seemed like the perfect opportunity to sneak off. I began to move past him, he grabbed my hand, and wouldn't let go.

"I need to leave!" I squirmed.

"How long has she been in there?" He said completely ignoring my statement. I thought about trying to pull away from him again but I was afraid that if he tightened his grip much further that he would accidentally snap my wrist.

"Look, Cullen, I'm serious!" As soon as I finished my statement, my phone had begun to go off.

"Hello?"

"Leah, it's Ness, look I need you to do me a favor." She whimpered. "I need you to come pick me up. I don't want to live here anymore."

"Are you crazy? I thought your dad said that you loved Forks so much." I countered.

"It's not so much the atmosphere as the people in it. I would be fine to stay if I didn't have to stay here in this house! I have to get out! Please Leah!" She cried.

"Please, don't blubber, we both know it's not that serious. Where are you now?" I asked.

"She's locked herself in the bathroom and has Rose, Esme, and her mother worried sick." Edward said loud enough that I was sure that Ness had to have heard him.

"Will you please tell him to back off?" She whimpered.

"Oh with pleasure," I turned to Edward, and delivered her message, "Your daughter said to back the hell off... paraphrased slightly by me, of course." I smirked.

"Back off?" He went to grab my phone but then thought better of it.

"Leah? Are you coming?" The girl sounded so damned pathetic, maybe at the very least I could show my face and convince her that she is not living in hell.

"Yeah, I'm coming down there." I grumbled.

Edward and his brilliant ideas, he had "persuaded" me into riding back to forks with him. He claimed it was because he had to come back this way anyway for his night class. However, it was probably so that he could enjoy the witty, annoyed sarcasm that would flow through my brain. I planned to not say anything to him on the way ride down there but he, of course, knew the right buttons to push to break my silence.

"You may not say anything but I plan to talk about what happened last night." He said as he pulled onto the exit. "Leah we can't keep existing like this. We are both gonna end up bitter and angry."

"I personally don't care how you end up." I said picking at the hem of my dress and then turning my focus out his window.

"You want me with you, you said it yourself."

"I wanted sex." I murmured.

"No you want me. You want to be around me just as much as I need to be around you."

"Your _need_ may only be temporary." I directed my stare to him and made sure it was as cold as I could possibly make it, "Women seem to be disposable to you." He barked a laugh at my statement. "We both know that's untrue."

"Whatever... look, can you just drive?" I crossed my legs to control the shaking that had begun. He smirked and accelerated the car. I used to love when he drove fast, we used to ride out of state all the time finding new places to park and fool around. He drove so fast it was as if we were flying instead of driving.

"Some of the best times of my life were with you." He smiled and admitted in quiet, calm hushed tone. I actually felt myself melt, it was just one of those things you didn't expect to hear, but you tingled all over once you did.

"God Cullen, don't feed me your mush. I'm not Bella, that kinda talk don't quite wet my panties." I snorted and returned my gaze to the window.

"That wasn't the objective, but I can't lie it would have been an appreciated bonus. It has been a while since I have taken in your scent."

"Now that's not something a girl hears everyday." Instead of the laughter I'd expected, Edward's face was now balled up and I knew exactly what he was thinking about. "Ness has the hormones of teenager. You wouldn't believe some of the crazy things I said and felt when I was teenager."

"Leah, no offense, but I know you; of course I can image the kind of left field things you would get upset about."

"Well, if you can imagine the things I would be upset over, why can't you put yourself in your daughter's shoes. I imagine that she is only feeling typical teenage angst. I mean you are permanently a teenager so you should understand." I turned to him, I watched at his mind worked trying to find empathy for his daughters situation. It was humorous to see him all perplexed.

"Technically she's only about five, and she only looks about ten, so you could see how I would have a little trouble dealing with her temperament." He countered.

"I guess I sorta get it, from a parental stand point you are concerned." I nodded, "But I honestly think she is just going through growing pains. Everything will be fine." I patted him on the knee to reassure him.

"Thank you Leah," he murmured grabbing my hand from his knee, holding it in his, and intertwining our fingers. I started to say something but decided against it. Maybe this is what he needed for reassurance. I could give him that; that was all I could afford to give.

Edward and I approached the house and as soon as he cut the engine, I could hear his daughter yelling. "I WON'T! I WON'T COME OUT EVER! YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND AT ALL!"

"Wow, it seems like someone is suffering from spoiled brat syndrome." I said as Edward opened the car door for me and went to reach for my hand again. "Now isn't really the right time to do something stupid." I said pulling my hand away.

"Right." He sped past me opening the front door for me. We both made our way upstairs where and were now standing in front of the bathroom door where all the screaming was taking place. Bella immediately became enraged by my presence.

"What is _she_ doing here?" She hissed. "Regardless of what my daughter said, she doesn't need you here." She was in my face and her breath was now hitting my nostrils causing my nose hairs to burn.

"Fine I won't say anything. By all means continue what you are doing because it seems to be working so well." I rolled my eyes at her.

"Leah is that you?" She yelled.

"Yeah, I'm here," I said now standing by the door, touching it, "so will you come out now." We all heard as the door unlocked and she opened the door only enough to pull me inside the bathroom, slam the door back closed, and lock it.

"WHAT THE HELL!" I now stood in front of Ness whose eyes were now blood-shot. She handed me this note she had written on toilet paper.

_I have to get out here. I know something I can't tell you what. It still hurts so bad I can't believe what I saw and what I heard. I will never be able to look at her the same again. _

"I know this says you can't tell me what happened, but can you tell me who? Who hurt you so much that you locked yourself in the bathroom of all places?" I said sitting on the edge of the tub. She didn't say anything she just ripped another piece of toilet paper and began to write, it took me a moment to realize why she didn't just tell me what was going on. She didn't want anyone else to know what she was going through, but her dad would know.

_Mom. She doesn't know that I now know what a horrible person she is but I know. I know! I can't live in the same space as her ever again!_

The child began to sob horribly. I didn't know exactly what was going on but I knew it had to have been severe for the girl to be carrying on this way. "Look I will help you but I want you to know that I'm no saint myself. I have done some things in my past that you would probably hate me for."

"I know about that. You and my dad; I don't care, it serves her right." She said with her breath catching. I embraced the girl so that she could fully sob and get it out of her system; we stayed this way for a good half hour.

"I will take you outta here and you can stay with me. So fix your face." She did as I said, splashing some water on her face and composing herself. After a few deep breaths she deemed herself ready.

"The kid is gonna stay with me for a while," I said clutching Ness' hand in mine. "Anyone with any objections to this notion can speak with Ness at a later time, but right now we are leaving!" I moved us quickly toward the steps.

"Like hell I'm gonna let you take my child away from me!" Bella grabbed Ness' other hand.

"DON'T TOUCH ME! DON'T EVER TOUCH ME!" The girl screamed and began to sob again, wrapping her arms around me and burying her head in my clothes.

"Like I said, the kid needs to compose herself." Bella stepped back and murmured something under her breath. Normally I would not be able to allow that wench to have the last word, but right now I was too busy trying to tend to _her_ child that she had apparently hurt beyond repair.

I found Edward in the living room holding his head. He apparently had some idea as to what went down and I would have to pump him for details later. He approached his daughter and cradled his hand around her face.

"Oh daddy!" She began to cry once more. At least she wasn't mad at him. Maybe he could convince her to come back home once everything was settled.

"Are we ready to go?" I opened the door for Edward who was now carrying his child, embracing her as if he wished he could wipe her every hurt away. "I'll drive," I said, looking at them both. He placed her in the back seat and then paced in front of the car franticly. He was pissed. He started to go back in the house and I knew that he would be out to kill.

"Edward." I went to grab his arm and he snatched away from me and hissed, "Edward!" I pulled him harder this time forcing him to focus in on my face. "Your daughter has had enough drama today; hell I've had enough drama today, can we please just go home." Something about my statement had changed his disposition slightly. "Yeah, let's go home."


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note

Sorry it has taken me forever to come back to this story. My computer has a nasty virus that stole the internet from me. So I will only be able to submit when I get to library which sucks but anyway I hope you enjoy !

As always thanks to ChemicalJane for making the most awesome story!

Chapter 4

The ride home was long. Every now and then, I would glance in the back seat to check on the kid. She had cried herself to sleep, it was sad to see such an innocent, beautiful albeit weird thing in so much pain. My mind was working over time trying all sorts of dilemmas that could have caused the girl's trauma . . . my mind kept circling around one but that logically made the most sense but in my eyes, seemed the most unlikely. By the time I pulled up to my apartment my head was pounding, the stress of everything must have been getting to me. I sighed and looked over to my passengers' seat being occupied by Cullen.

"Come on let's get her inside." I said trying not to focus in on the anger in his face. He lifted her gently into his arms and opened my door before I could even cut the engine. Once inside I showed him to the guest room and he laid Ness down, she repositioned herself cradling the pillow to her head and sighed content. The image was warming watching him care for his daughter it was most definitely a different side of him that I had never experienced. Edward stared at his only daughter for a moment his expression went from distraught to blatant rage instantly, and then exited the room purposefully. He was quickly heading for the front door, he had no words for me, his focus was on the damage he was going to do, and for his sake, I couldn't allow him to do it.

"Edward!" I slammed my body in the front door and grabbed his face making him focus. "Listen to me; I know what you are feeling . . . you can't go back right now you will hurt somebody!" I pleaded with him.

"How in the hell do you figure you know how I feel! Leah you don't have any kids, no one that you would put your own happiness aside for, and for Bella to have such a disregard for Ness after fighting so hard to give birth to her, I just don't understand!" He was still angry but at least his facial features were starting to calm, which was good. I was a little pissed that he reminded me of the lack of a life that I had wanted so badly before, but since today had been warped I let it slide.

"I just think you need to calm yourself some before going back to Forks! Get perspective on what you are going to do and say." He inhaled deeply, I was still cradling his face with my hands I felt as his jaw loosened. I rubbed the sides of his face with my thumbs enjoying the smooth cool feel of his skin, I was slightly bummed when he walked to the couch and sat there.

"I don't think I can _not_ think about what has just taken place." He shook his head in disbelief of the whole situation.

"Try to make your mind blank and think of nothing at all." He laughed so loudly it made my ears hurt. "I know that you have a million thoughts in your head and most of them aren't even yours but . . ." I sat down beside him and motioned for him to put his head in my lap, "if you just close your eyes and focus on the darkness." I said covering his eyes with my hands, again giving myself the opportunity to enjoy caressing his skin. He closed his eyes and I began to gently trace the contours of his face. We had never been like this with each other, the actions almost imitated that of a loving couple. Now that I think of it my mother used to hold my father's head after a rough day that's why the action felt so _familiar_.

However I wasn't doing this because of any romantic ties to Cullen I just felt like I had to save him from making a horrible mistake that he wouldn't be able to live with and as much as I didn't want to admit it I hated seeing Cullen hurt. I wanted to see him as strong, unbreakable, untouchable and to know that Bella was the cause of all of this, moreover knowing that Bella had the ability to crumble his world made my skin boil. I shook my head now_ I_ was getting pissed. I couldn't afford the go off the handle not until he left. As I touched his face and tried to soothe him I felt small pings of dread travel through my body, I realized that I didn't want him to leave . . .ever. As I stared at him I wondered what that meant? "This isn't the time to be thinking about this shit."

"Cullen," I shook as if he was asleep, I needed him to move away from me, he was too close and I needed to keep my perspective, but when I nudged him he was unresponsive. "Cullen." I said with more force nudging him harder. "Edward!" I was starting worry I didn't know how to deal with an unresponsive or unconscious vampire, from all I knew about them I didn't think they were supposed to be able to lose consciousness. I stupidly checked his heart and his wrist for a pulse and then laughed at the action. He then looked at me as if I had lost my mind. "Why the hell didn't you answer me?" I got up allowing he head to now drop abruptly to the couch.

"I . . .I just had the weirdest sensation . . . it was like I was dreaming which should be impossible being that I can't sleep, but just then I honestly felt like I was asleep or in some kind of false reality." I just frowned at him I thought he was making up some kind of weird excuse to make me forgive him for worrying me.

"You were worried?" He smirked, "About what? About me?" He said with way too much amusement coloring his face.

"I was scared that you had become so pissed off that you went into some kinda twisted psychotic spell." I said going into the kitchen area. "Last thing I need is to deal with is a psycho vamp out for blood trying to kill me."

"Trying . . . if you are becoming human . . . I could kill you easily if I wanted to." He countered. The conversation was going in a direction that I didn't like for the obvious reasons. The thought Edward placed in my head caused me to cringe the whole blood sucking part of him was something I wished I could forget, it most definitely not part of his charm. "Leah, I would never kill you, nor would I ever want to. You know that?"

"Never say never Cullen," I murmured, "I mean look at your situation now, would you have ever thought that you would feel the way you feel now about Bella?" Saying her name put a damper on the mood that had begun to feel, which was good I needed to stay in close grip with reality right now.

"No but like I have said to you a million times, the Bella that exists now is not the one I married." He stated bluntly.

"I was never a fan of the one you married . . . I'm just saying." I smirked and he did the same, then his face became mangled in a state of confusion.

"Leah?" His eyes examined my body; I knew that whatever he said was going to be hella weird.

"Yeah," I now joined him in the living room with chips and a soda in tow.

"Are you not going to sleep tonight?" He picked up the soda and opened it for me, it was completely unnecessary but a completely Edward thing to do.

"Yeah later, what is my conversation boring you now Cullen?" I smacked him upside the head with a pillow. It was amusing to me that he would allow me to do these silly little things in reality he knew that I was gonna hit him and his reflex are so strong even if he didn't know he should been able to stop me I figured that it was because he wanted the abuse I delivered.

"No that's not it, I just thought the intent of the night was to relax me . . . I think I would feel much more relaxed if you were more relaxed." He smiled seductively, ah sex as with every conversation that Cullen and I have it comes right down to his dick and my cookie.

"Well it seems like you are feeling much better, since you now have a clear enough mind to be an annoying ass seems like it's time for you to go home." I grabbed his arm and began to pull him from the couch. He flinched his arm only slightly causing me to fall into his lap.

"Leah . . ." he placed his fingers at my chin forcing me to stare into his eyes, "I wasn't trying to annoy you. I just wanted to make you comfortable, today had to be very stressful for you as well." He ran his fingers from my chin, to my neck, and finally resting them on my collarbone. "I figured if you changed clothes and I gave you a quick massage then we would be even, considering all you did for me today it is the very least I can do."

"Yeah well lucky for you Cullen, I love massages." I grumbled as I walked off to change. I knew that I shouldn't be getting ready to let Edward touch me but of course I wanted him to, it was all that I had been thinking about since I got back to Washington and probably before that if I was truly honest with myself. "This can be platonic, right?" I asked myself as I looked in the mirror examining the way I looked in the oversized t-shirt and boxer shorts. "Yummy!" I laughed and got ready to join Edward in the living room. As soon as I opened the bedroom door, he was right outside. He forced his way inside my bedroom and inhaled deeply I knew exactly what he was doing.

"I told you that it had been awhile since I taken in your essence . . . you still smell mouth watering." He approached me grabbing my waist. "Now for your massage," he said pulling me to the bed, I was soon learning the massage was code for something else.

"I want to make one thing clear this is just a _shoulder_ massage anything below the acceptable areas is grounds for being kicked out on your ass. Got it?" I said sat on the corner of the bed.

"Of course," He said as he got on the bed positioning himself behind me so that he would have easy access to my shoulders, "I will do whatever you wish." As soon as he placed his hands on my shoulders I flinched involuntarily, it was like my body was trying to jump for joy being connected with him again. He began to slowly move his thumbs along my shoulder blades gradually pressing deeper until his touch felt like heaven. "Does your head still hurt?" He breathed in my ear.

"A little." I nodded, I closed my eyes I was completely blissed out on the experience. He removed my hair from it's ponytail and ran his fingers through my hair, and then began to message my temples. "God, Cullen I never knew you were so good at this." It was almost orgasmic it felt so good.

"I try." He laughed, "since I am so good you should give me permission to go a little lower along your back." As he spoke, the cool gentle tickle of his breath against my ear made me tingle all over.

"Sure why not," I said trying to be funny but my breath caught in mid-sentence. With my permission, he immediately began rubbing my back, using his fingertips to apply pressure to the tense spots along my spine, the sensation was so good it made my toes wiggle. "Oh Edward . . . that feels . . . so good." I arched my back into a stretch, leaning back allowed my head to fall back on his shoulder. "Sorry." I mumbled annoyed by my small loss of control.

"Don't be." With that, he connected his lips to mine, never once allowing his hands to stop moving. Once his lips hit mine by body went erratic it wanted the immediate satisfaction of fucking, but Edward was moving slowly creating a moment that was almost romantic. My heart felt like to was going to beat out of my chest; it was so loud the sound was hammering in my ears. His hands began to caress my upper thighs causing the throbbing between my legs to become unbearable. He crept his hands even further up my thighs until he finally reached his objective, he placed his hand into my boxer shorts, parting my center using his fingers to creating a slow even stroking motions, while his thumb teased at my clit. His hand was so cold and so perfect, a million times better what I remembered. He was right the pleasure he gave was a hundred times better than what I had been experiencing, I didn't even pretend to not be enjoying his touch how could I with my body bucking and wiggling erratically. His other hand had found it's home under my shirt wrapped around my left breast clamping my nipple possessively. "Leah I want to make love to you now." He said as he broke our kiss, all I could do to respond was nod, I was too far gone to say no. As soon as he lay me back on the bed and went to remove my top we both here the bedsprings in the next room shift. Ness, she was the reason he was here, we should not be doing this, not with her here, and especially not today after she had experienced so much.

"Unfortunately, I agree with you." He sighed and stared at my body conflicted, "I don't want to stop, but this isn't the right time." He took his fingers that were in my shorts, placed them in his mouth, and grinned at me. "Waste not, want not," I rolled my eyes at him and he kissed me on my forehead. "I should go back home and see if I can't figure out what's going on."

After our latest stupid act together, Edward and I decided that it would be best that Rose be the one to deliver Ness back and forth for a while until she got over what happened with Bella. All of us were still working on figuring out what really happened, I hadn't spoken with Edward since he came over that night, everything I knew about him was from Rose's mouth. For a while, the situation seemed perfect, the kid was absolutely no trouble and pretty much took care of herself. Everything would have been fine if Rose didn't ask the question that she really did deserve the answer to.

"So why can't Edward come get his own daughter again?" Rose said as we filtered through the mall.

"Because I . . . we almost had an accident." I frowned at the bathing suit on the rack trying to figure out how the damned thing worked. Normally it wouldn't have mattered I preferred swimming naked, but since the Cullen's wanted to have this swimming party to try coax Ness into coming home I guess I needed one. I kept trying to tell them it was too soon, every time the girl seemed comfortable I would try to ask her about the Bella thing she would just start to cry and run away.

"What kind of accident?" Rose said picking up a couple of red bathing suits, "did you trip fall and land on his dick again? Who knew you were so clumsy?" Rose's bell like laughter echoed through the store and a couple of the other customers stared at us.

"Shut up Rose!" I chided, "I don't find this shit with Edward funny, it's fucking annoying and embarrassing is what it is. . . it was never like this before." I grumbled still fumbling with the stupid black swimsuit.

"No the whole situation is idiotic; you want this to be over? Then you should just decide to court the man you're in love with!" I smirked at her statement who really says court anymore. Rose huffed then repositioned the bathing suit in my hand so the design made sense.

"No." Was all I could manage to say. I didn't feel like having this conversation anymore I was so annoyed that my hands began to shake. I quickly hid this development from Rose I didn't want her to think she had found some key to making me phase, reality was I was just shaking because I was pissed no magical or supernatural elements included.

After a few moments of necessary silence on my part, Rose sprung into her next brilliant idea. "So you are never going to be with Edward . . . ever?" She questioned in disbelief.

"Yep that's my brilliant plan." I said annoyed that this was how my life was turning out that I have absolutely nothing or no one but myself, not that I had ever planned to have Edward it was never really an option.

"Well then I should set you up, I know a few humans that would be suitable for you." She reflected.

"Surre . . ." I laughed because I half thought she was joking.

"I'm serious and you should be too, unless you plan on being alone forever?" Until she said that I hadn't realized that besides Sam, I hadn't thought about sharing my life with anyone. Edward was something that I craved but I never allowed myself to see him in the role of husband. Just then, the thought of Edward caring for me and me caring for him ran through my head and caused my chest to tighten, it was a really nice picture, but it was only a picture.

"I said sure Rose. I'm pretty sure you are going to do whatever you want to do anyway." I said taking the bathing suit to the cashier.

"You're right about that." Rose murmured.

The beach was a bad idea that I had been dragged into. The Push was bare at his time of year and the sad cloudy weather was the perfect time for a leechy family reunion. I sat on the sand and I watched Emmett toss Ness into the air. Rose sat beside me stretched out in her red bikini as if she were tanning. Then I saw them enter my sight, Bella and Edward. He held her hand as they walked onto the beach. He was a lying ass, I should have known that he would fall back into her web.

"Now that's a new development." Rose said looking in the direction of my stare and the back to my face. "There's probably a logical explanation." Sympathy covered her face, I must've look more pathetic than I felt. I actually felt relieved that I was right, that falling for Cullen would have been the stupidest decision of my life. He glanced up at me briefly wearing a expression I couldn't read.

"Hey Ness!" His daughter stopped play fighting with Emmett to take in the sight of her mother and father together. She seemed stunned and confused, the kid ran to me and then wrapped herself in my arms, she immediately began showing me visions, of Bella and Edward's unhappiness, _how could he be that stupid . . .she doesn't make him happy_, she thought.

"Ness love, what's wrong?" Edward reached his hands out to her.

_I'm not talking to him while he is with her, tell them_, she thought as she squeezed me tighter.

"I told you she's not ready for a reunion like this yet. She's not going to talk to you." I said bluntly but I almost felt sorry them. They really thought that this was going to work but I had warned them.

"I won't live in hell, just because you are content to." She looked at her father with such cold eyes, that if Edward had a beating heart it would have shattered into a million pieces. "I can still live with you right?" She looked at me searching for my approval. I looked at Edward making sure that he was still okay with the living okay with her with me, he nodded sadly.

"Yeah if that's what you wanna do, but it seems your parents really miss you." I said trying to get her to have some concern for her parents.

"I don't care about her," she glared at her mother, "and he knows that what I'm doing is right." She got up and walked away from all of us leaving me right in the middle of hell. Bella just looked at Edward and extended her hand, he took it, and she made sure to deliver a smug glance my way as they walked off.

"Hey, hey come back here for a second!" Rose yelled to them, I knew exactly what she was going to talk to them about, and I did not want to be present. When they started to walk back to Rose, I was half way to the salty beach water. The last words I heard before diving into the water was Rose asking them what the hell was going on.

I let the water take me over huge waves circled around me thrashing me about, which was something I expected to be painful but instead the sensation just left me slightly winded. I took a second to come up for air, as I inhaled I experienced my anger from seeing Edward with his wife. I never felt like this before, when we were actually fucking I was never this possessive, I personally hated this new emotion that I had now attached to Cullen, it made me feel needy and I wasn't the one that needed him, he was supposed to need me.

Part of me wondered what caused the change, what made him fall back in love with Bella. Thunder clapped, causing my attention to divert to the sky. "Full moon" I floated on my back momentarily staring at the sky, storms didn't bother me I found peace in them, being in the water during them however isn't the smartest thing I've ever done, but I was mystified and how the clouds darkened and how the night took on a menacing look. It was scary yet beautiful in a way it was almost as if I was hypnotized by it. "Leah!" I heard Ness and Rose in the distance, they were calling me, and I was ignoring them. I knew my way back home I didn't need any of their assistance. "Leah get out of the water!" Rose yelled louder, as much as I liked her she was starting to piss me off. I dove deeper into the water not wanting to be bothered.

I swam deeper and deeper disregarding my need for oxygen it was like I was running from something, running from him and the feelings that I couldn't get rid off. Maybe I should just stay in the water and left myself drown everyone's lives would be better for it. I wouldn't be the bitch that caused problems for everyone anymore I would just be Leah the stupid bitch that killed herself. I smirked at the thought I wouldn't give them the satisfaction. My father used to tell me that we are all given life for a reason, that was why I was always searching for my purpose, my purpose couldn't possibly be for me to kill myself, what would be the point in that? As soon as I decided to swim back to the surface I feel two cold arms around my waist pulling me up forcefully.

Edward carried me back onto the beach firemen's style and plopped me on the ground. "We told you to come in! You could have killed yourself!" He chided me as if I were his child.

"Get out of my face Cullen, I'm no concern of yours." I moved past him grabbing my shorts and putting them on. Everyone else had exited the area, he grabbed my arm, and I pushed him back. "Don't touch me ever again!" I growled.

"Leah, I think you are misunderstanding the situation." He tried to soothe me. "Bella and I are . . ."

"No you hear me Cullen! I don't give a flying flipping fuck about Bella or you!" I said and my stupid female emotions allowed a tear to actually escape and flow down my cheek, but I wasn't sad I was pissed that he was still gonna try and play me after what I had just witnessed, but it didn't matter because I didn't intend to listen.

"We are trying to get our daughter back; my appearance with her was only for Ness' sake. Bella believes that the reason our daughter is so temperamental is that she believes that Bella doesn't love me anymore and that the child doesn't want to live a lie. By providing her with a believable united parental unit maybe she will learn to trust Bella again." He seemed like he believed what he was saying, unfortunately I was going to have to tell him that he was full of shit. "I am being serious Leah!"

"Well then Bella is wrong," I stated bluntly, "if that were true your daughter should be mad at you too right? Ness should be wondering what _you_ did to make her mommy stop loving you but she doesn't, she doesn't have a problem with you at all. It is something that Bella did dumb ass!" I rolled my eyes at him.

"What is then?" He countered, he seemed exasperated as he threw his hands in the air.

"I don't know I'm not a mind reader!" I arched my eyebrow at him, "you figure it out." I pulled my keys out of my pocket indicated that I was more than ready to get the hell away from him.

"Leah wait one more thing," he said grabbing my arm again, "are you really allowing Rosalie to match with a suitor?" He tilted his head inquisitively. The way he worded things sometimes still tripped me out.

"Yeah she said she didn't want me to die alone and I can appreciate her concern." I laughed darkly.

"I don't know how I feel about that." He frowned as he thought of what he was going to say next.

"Don't worry I can tell you what you are supposed to feel, nothing, which is exactly what I feel for you anyway so it's fine." I walked past him ending our conversation.

"I can't allow this, my selfish nature will not allow for you to be with someone else." He said apologetically.

"There's nothing you can do to stop it." I said without looking back at him. He was exactly where he needed to be, behind me, and hopefully I would never look back.

The kid and me made it back home she sat at my bar style counter as I rummaged through the fridge. I sat a pint of rocky road in front of her and a cold beer in front of myself and we both sighed.

"Today has been long and pointless," Ness said as she attacked the carton with her spoon. I couldn't agree with her more all today did was bring about pain. The annoying thing is the more pain or anger I felt, the drearier and rainy the day became. I picked at the top of my beer bottle not really knowing what to say to her statement.

"You can't blame them for trying kid." I took a drink and she rolled her eyes.

"She is lying to him and he is too blinded by her to see it. I don't know how I ended up with a mother that was so cold and selfish." I laughed because those were characteristics that were usually used to describe me.

"Your father would say that your mother gave up a lot to be able to give birth to you . . . and I agree it was a very selfless act." Not that I was the biggest fan of Bella I just wanted to kid to keep things in perspective, Bella did give her life so that Ness could exist.

"She didn't do that for me, she did it because she wanted to have my father's child. Now that I am here she doesn't care about my feelings all she cares about are her selfish needs." The kid's eyes started to tear.

"I'm sure your mom cares about you." I said sounding uncharacteristically sympathetic.

"And I'm sure she doesn't," the girl moved to the couch and cut on the TV. I joined her I sat as she angrily flipped through the channels. The girl was over dramatic and super sensitive just like her dad. I half hearted patted her on her leg, trying to calm her. "Stop you don't mean it." She frowned angrily as snatched her leg away from my hand.

"I don't want you to be mad." I said blandly, "It's a waste of time, who knows years from now none of this will matter." The statement reminded me of a previous conversation I had had with Edward.

"I will never forgive her so my emotions are relevant." Her bluntness always surprised me. I always thought Ness would be bubbly but was actually a very real chick, surprisingly deep for her age. After a while, she maneuvered and rested her head on my chest and fell asleep, as she slept her hands rested on my arm and her dreams infiltrated my mind. Her thoughts and visions sped through my mind expeditiously. The first was of Edward and me two years ago, she watched as we made our way to his cabin, and she had heard our pants a moans as we had sex for the first time. She didn't seem mad, she actually remembered the thought as when daddy became happy again.

She showed another memory of when I was gone, Edward was in my mother's house with Seth talking causally, he then walked over to the wall removing my picture from the hanger. "How's Leah?" Edward asked never turning to Seth but his tone had change.

"You really shouldn't be asking about her . . .dude . . . I read her letter to you. I really shouldn't even like you considering the fact that you used her, even if she allowed you to . . . it was still wrong." Seth's voice was monotone and his face somber it was the closest I'd seen Seth to expressing an actual angry emotion in a long time, part of me was actually warmed by his protectiveness where I was concerned.

"I am aware of the wrongs I've done Seth. Trust me I am more than sorry my immature and selfish needs caused Leah to have to leave. I've tried but I can't bring myself to feel negatively about our time spent together."

"That's fine and good," Seth got up and took the picture away from Edward hanging it back on the wall. "My question is why? I thought you loved Bella?"

"I did," Edward sighed deeply, "I did, I really _loved_ Bella, she was the first woman that I saw myself with, and I must have thought that I was some exception to the rule believe that I would never find another woman attractive. I must've thought that Bella was a exception to rule as well, I thought she wouldn't change I thought that her personality and warmth would be able to transcend through the process of being undead and for a while it seemed like maybe I was right, but not now she is just cold to me. The great thing about your sister is that I never know what to expect . . . even though I can read her mind I never know what she is really going to think about what I am going to say. She is witty, clever, feisty, stubborn, and . . . I love her."

"Loves her," Ness murmured and repositioned in her sleep, "not fair . . . bitch." The statement surprised me I didn't think the kid used profanity. I grabbed her hand and watched her thought curious what she was dreaming about. Seeing it though her eyes it was like I was hiding behind a corner as I heard Jacob's voice.

"You shouldn't do this," I heard as Bella ripped his shirt off and slammed him against the wall, "you're married you know, and I don't want . . ."

"Shut up Jake . . . you know the deal . . . you give me what I want and I allow you to spend time with my daughter." As she spoke rubbed herself against Jacob and he cringed as if he was disgusted, "If you don't cater to my needs, I won't cater to yours." She then dropped to her knees and unzipped his pants.

I gasped in shock by what I'd seen, I was then immediately ripped from the sight. The girl now stared at me alarmed, "Leah! I didn't mean for you to see that. I fell asleep, promise me you won't tell anyone!" Her face now balled up in agony.

"At least now I understand why you are so angry!" I tried to speak calmly but it didn't work. "I can't believe that she would do that to her own daughter, I knew that there was something screwed up about her . . . and don't even get me started on Jacob."

"I don't even want think about him right now I'm just trying to process everything. I just want to get past this moment." Her eyes began to fill with tears. "Seriously, you won't tell anybody right?" I shook my head to appease the girl but in reality, I couldn't promise her anything.

When Ness fell asleep again I placed her in my car and headed back down to Forks. So many things were running through my mind as I drove. The first thing I thought about was how badly I wanted to kill Bella because just kicking her ass would do my emotions justice. Second, I wanted to kick Jacob's ass for being such a dumb dick. Why didn't he just phase and rip Bella's head off (that would have ended all of our problems). Third, and this was the loudest thought blaring in my head was that I had to tell Edward, he had to know what Bella-the-perfect had done. The emotion that I was feeling wasn't based on spitefulness or vengeance, but hope. I hoped that this information would be enough for Edward to leave Bella, not based on any feelings he had for me but because Bella was warped in the head and didn't deserve him.

I parked my car outside the Cullen's residence and sighed as I cut the engine. My hands still gripped the wheel as I prepared what I was going to say in my mind all the while Edward's face wrapped around my brain. "Daddy," the young girl murmured from the back seat. I adjusted my rear view mirror so that I could get a full view of her sleeping face. I felt like shit, I was sitting here wishing for the destruction of her family while she slept in my backseat. The reality was that for some reason unknown to me this kid had decided to trust me, and for some odd reason I really didn't want to let her down.

"I know how to make this better for you Ness," I said to the sleeping child, "You're not going to like it, both of you are not gonna like it."

Rose was at the door as soon as I exited the car. "Hey." She smiled she lifted Ness from the backseat and walked with me inside. "Why do you look sad like your best friend died. I smirked as I proceeded to walk into the house, at this point in time Rose was the closest thing I had the resembled a best friend and she was pretty cold and dead as far as I was concerned.

We entered the living room and I scanned the area Esme, Carlisle, and Bella were sitting peacefully still like statues conversing so quietly that I could barely hear them.

"Hello Leah?" Esme said obviously questioning my presence in her home. I inhaled deeply Edward's scent was in the area and it was strong, he had to be upstairs. I looked back at the vampire woman that greeted me.

"Hey . . . where's Edward? I need to talk to him." I said heading toward the stairs I needed to talk to him before I talked myself out of the decision I had made.

"Like hell! I'm not letting anywhere near my husband!" Bella hissed as she placed herself in front of me blocking my path to the stairs.

"Look this is about YOUR daughter will you just move!" I growled and thunder rumbled in the sky, I couldn't believe that it was about to storm again. I made a weak attempt to side step her that she easily blocked.

"Well then you should address me with what is going on with Renesme. You really have no reason to even look at my husband." There she goes with that my husband shit again I was going to punch her in her smug little face so help me God she was plucking my last nerve . . . all I need was one hit and I would be satisfied. The acidic burn I felt in the woods began to creep up my spine as I stared at this pathetic woman.

"Honestly, I don't think you want me to do that." I growled once more and she giggled and held her stomach that was now filled with laughter.

"You are all bark and no bite . . . I know Leah that you are nothing and have nothing, you are absolutely no threat to me." She pushed me and I stumbled back into the couch. The acidic burn I was feeling earlier now caused me body to feel like to was on fire as rage filled me.

"Is that so . . ." she allowed me to get in her face I stood there for a moment and this little voice in my head said _grabbed her by the neck, _so I did and I lifted her into the air with no strain at all, "Don't ever underestimate me or threaten me again or I will end your life." I spoke in as deep and as cold a voice I could muster I watched as her eyes widened with shock and fear, I won't pretend like the sight did give me a small once of satisfaction but I quickly realized that scaring Bella was not what I came all the way to Forks to do. "Now listen to me, I just need to talk to him . . . that's all I'm gonna do." I dropped her to the ground and stepped over her finally making my way upstairs.

I found him at his piano with several pieces of balled up works on the floor, his hair was disheveled and his face was stressed.

"Hey . . ." I said as I walked into his space, part of me was concerned about his disposition but my visit wouldn't allow for the warmer part of me to be evident. He looked at me and his eyes softened I believed I even saw a small glimmer of happiness in them, before they dropped by to the piano keys in front of him. I sat beside him on the piano bench and sighed.

"God, I don't know where to start." I frowned I was still processing all the things I needed to tell him.

"Don't stress yourself about it," he placed his hands on the keys and began to play a beautiful albeit sad melody. "I know what you are hear to say and the decision you've made . . . you don't have to say anything . . . you don't even have to be here, matter of fact you _should_ leave." He twisted his face in an expression that if he were a normal person tears would have ran down his face.

"Edward . . ." I groaned and stopped his hand on the keys, "I don't want you to be unhappy. I just think that Ness' happiness will bring about your own happiness. If you disregard her feelings you will not be able to live with yourself. That's why . . ."

"You want me to stay with Bella." He scoffed and looked me in my eyes. He looked hurt almost devastated, I couldn't really understand why Edward and I had never made any kind of plans to be together, we were never supposed to be long term, so saying goodbye shouldn't hurt, it should be painless and easy.

"If Bella has you and she feels you fully love her, then she can stop what she is doing and she won't ruin Ness' life."

"There's bound to be another way to resolve this." Edward spoke as though he was whispering to the piano keys. I sighed and rubbed my chest all of a sudden I felt like I was experiencing a horrible case of heartburn.

"There probably is another alternative, but this is the easiest way to ensure everyone in your family's happiness. You should be happy about this deal I'm not normally this nice, trust me you are getting off easy." I laughed trying to make light of the situation but he just sat there frozen staring at his keys. I got up to leave and then paused I didn't want to leave him this way. "Edward . . .," he stood up and wrapped his arms around me. He must have realized that I fully and seriously intended for this to be our final goodbye that their was never NEVER going to be an us, and that I would never speak about the past again. He pressed himself against me so tightly that I could barely breathe. I wanted us to fully enjoy this moment so that I may never forget his touch and so that he would never forget mine. "I'm sorry Cullen." I whispered into his chest.

"Me too."

The End . . . no I'm just playing lol. There's plenty more to this story I haven't even addressed the reason why Leah can't phase yet. The question is will Leah and Edward ever stop with the nonsense and just hop into bed? Only time will tell! As always read and review!

Also remember grammar is a nasty little demon that I battle each time I take on a chapter it you could please PM me with any concerns regarding grammar because I already know it is an issue.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I thought that we had an understanding. That we had said goodbye forever. I was wrong. If we were on the same page, I wouldn't have a leech like stalker right now. I had been on at least eight dates set up by my living-impaired matchmaker Rosalie Cullen. Unfortunately, each guy became a faceless, nameless blob in my memory because Edward was always there, stealing my focus and completely disregarding my verbal and internal pleas for distance and privacy. Take tonight for example, I could be sitting here having a fantastic time with Doug, Dennis, Dean or whatever his name is but instead my attention was drawn to the way too pale figure behind him, he was sitting with his golden hazel eyes glued to us as we dined and attempt form some kind of connection. The cold statue of a man, slowly traced his figure around the rim some sort of drink he had no intention of drinking it was some sort of brown liquor. I bet it was delicious, I could guarantee that it was at the very least cold, it would be perfect to relieve the nerves and stress I had piled on due to this evening.

One thing I was positive of was that he was not lying when he said he didn't want me to be human and move on. He wanted me stuck right in the hell that was my current life. Every time my eyes caught, his he'd smirk at me with pleasure knowing he was achieving his goal of diverting my attention from my date.

I sighed pulled my focus back onto my table. I twirled my fork mindlessly in my pasta that this Doug-David guy had ordered for me. First off, I hate that he ordered for me, I have a voice and I am more than capable of using it. Second, I hated pasta I was much more a steak kind girl.

"So Leah, Rosalie was right . . . you are breathtaking." He said taking my idle hand in his and smoothing his thumb over my knuckles. The action sent a gross chill down my spine, and made me want to desperately retrieve my hand. His touch was just wrong it border on the line of creepy, nothing like the touch I would want 'the one' to have. I heard Edward's snickers from afar. At first, his appearance on my dates used to really annoyed, matter of fact it would piss me off like no other, but now his actions were comical at best. However his stare could be physically frustrating, but as long as I didn't stare long enough to fully take him in I wasn't really affected by his 'charm' if that's what it's called.

I shook my head and focused on what Dean had said. "Oh thanks Dean." I smiled at him or attempted to anyway.

"Dean?" Oh shit, part of me knew that wasn't his name! The guy arched his eye at me he was obviously insulted that we had been sitting in this restaurant for the past thirty minutes and I didn't even know his name.

"Sorry I'm just a little distracted," I shifted uncomfortably in my seat and involuntarily looked in Edward's direction again. His eyes glared into mine as focused as ever. _I swear to Cullen laugh and you're fucking dead. I may not be able to do it but I know few people that could!_ I thought in his direction he just arched his eyebrows and focused his stare back on his drink.

"It's no problem I'd introduce myself a million times to someone as gorgeous as you . . . my name's Dylan," he extended his hand for me to shake, "nice to meet you." We both laughed I actually took in the physically appearance of the guy directly in front of me. He was pretty attractive, dark brown hair, bright green eyes, cute smile, and a amazing body; maybe I could make this work, even if his touch kind of crept me out.

"Dylan, I promise not to forget it ever again." I smiled trying my best to flirt even though flirting wasn't really my thing.

"I plan to give you multiple reasons to remember it." His tone deepened in an attempt at being seductive. The action was more cute than seductive, by my interpretation anyway. Then again, I considered most of the things men do simply cute or funny now, I guess once you've been seduced by a vampire everything pale's in comparison.

"Be careful I may hold you to that." I said meeting his stare playing along. I had to give it to Dylan, he was the first guy I had been out with that didn't seem threatened by eye contact.

"Please do!" We both laughed again, for a brief moment it was as if Edward had disappeared and my alternative life was being mapped out right in front of me, like I could reach out and grab it (if I wasn't so repelled by his touch). Besides some control issues Dylan was alright, he was funny and smart, and for anything else he could be trained. The only that was truly missing was the spark, the spark wasn't something to be taught the person either had it or they didn't. My definition of the spark (it differs from person to person) is the charge I usually got from being close to someone I was truly attracted to. I felt none of that with this guy, but I guess I could lie to myself and pretend it's there because I truly thought it was not gonna get any better than this guy.

"One moment," Dylan excused himself to answer his vibrating phone. I smiled at him to let him know that I was okay with his disappearance. As soon as my date left the area, a shift in the air and the slight noise of the opposing chair let me know that I was no longer alone.

"Bold move," I said blandly as I arched my eyebrow at the undead stalker in front of me. "I didn't mind you watching from a distance but now you are crossing a dangerous line Cullen. And what the hell are you doing anyway?"

"Look, I wouldn't have approached you . . . however you are actually considering this guy, if you could only see inside the head of this loser, he is vile." He cringed and wrinkled his nose to illustrate his disgust.

"My choices are none of your concern." I was annoyed and tight odd pressure form in the pit of my stomach, "Question genius, if you are here where the hell is _your_ wife!" I glared at him. He was defeating purpose of me giving him up, if he was going to ruin the plan I might as well have just fucked him as soon as I got back to Forks and called it a day.

"She excused herself before I followed you." He said not thinking twice about her whereabouts. I knew exactly where she was, she was off somewhere raping some poor shape-shifter that didn't have the brains God gave a monkey. I sighed tired with this whole situation.

"Where did she go Cullen?" I asked hoping that he would tell me something informative. I looked around Edward as if he were an obstacle to be avoided; I seriously didn't want De-Dylan to see him sitting here.

"I don't know where she went and I really could care less." He mused as he grabbed the same hand that Dylan had just posses and toyed with my fingertips. I actually remembered him doing this after we made love for the very last time. I curled beside him and drifted to sleep. I looked around as if I was ashamed by his actions but that wasn't really the problem, it was that damned spark! The spark, all that Dylan would never be able to deliver ran through me, through my arm, down my spine, and ignited my panties or more appropriately drenched them. Now was a more that appropriate time to snatch my hand back. "Leah?"

"Go away Edward!" I crossed my arm he was ruining everything, the feeling in my stomach now rose to my chest and caused it to ache. "Go find your fucking wife!" I slammed my hand of the table cause other patrons of the restaurant to murmur.

"Fine!" Edward became enraged and rose abruptly, "but you might want to tell your date to do the same thing." He murmured before exiting the restaurant.

Edward left several minutes before Dylan came back to join me at the table. Giving me a chance to fully take on Edward's words and become completely pissed at the situation, low growls of thunder rippled through the area as the skies prepared for yet another storm. "You've got to be shitting me!" I whispered as I looked out the window watching the sky, I had official given up watching the weather channel because I was convinced they didn't know what the hell they were talking about.

"What's wrong my lovely who took my beautiful smile?" Dylan smiled at me as he returned to his seat. _Ask him_, the voice asked.

"Dylan are you married?" I just let the words roll off my tongue.

"Why would you ask that?" He laughed, his face remained casual, but his heart beat changed. The way it accelerated, he was nervous of scared about something. He never said anything he just began shoveling his food into his mouth as if my thought didn't require an answer, he had the wrong chick if he thought I was going to be dismissed that easily. Better yet, I'd dismiss myself I didn't have to sit here and put up with this shit.

"No answer to my question?" I pushed my plate away and rose to my feet. "That's okay you don't have to answer and I don't have to waste my time!" I just I stepped away from the table he grabbed my arm.

"Leah please!" He whispered frantically, "you're causing a scene! Look it's complicated if you just sit down I'll explain." He said as he made a sad attempt to force me back down into my seat.

"How the hell is it complicated? Are you or are you not married?" I stood my ground so much for the dude being able to meet my stare.

"Yes," he whispered as he stared into his lap.

"Okay then," I walked out of the restaurant into the night. I sighed as I entered the windy night air. I was fuming so the gust of wind seemed perfect. I took off my shoes and just began to walk hoping that I would be able to calm my emotions before I had to return home to Ness or see Rose. However the more I thought about the sleaze ball I had spent the majority of the evening with the more infuriated I became. A strong clap of thunder boomed through the atmosphere announcing the arrival of my newfound friend, the rain.

I walked down the road in the rain with my stilettos in hand. I didn't have words for anyone at this point. I just continued on my path home. I was like a robot doing what I was expected of me. Going home was the only option I really had at this point, it was either that or find shelter in one of the dinky dive bars where I would no doubt be hit on by someone lacking one or both of his front teeth, and that was the last thing in hell I needed tonight.

I looked down the highway, I was nowhere near home, if I could phase then this whole situation would have been so easy. I would have whipped through the trees enjoying the rush of my own power and speed. Now I didn't even have that, I had nothing to make me feel powerful or special. The rain began to intensify as I pitied my mediocrity. I looked up to the sky, "will you stop! Just stop!" I begged the sky, which responded with another loud roar of thunder and more rain pouring on my head. Just as I was about to give into my weaker emotions and sob like a three year old, the headlights of a silver Volvo blinded me and stopped me in my tracks.

"Get in. You don't have to take to me but I will not allow you to walk any further." He reached over and opened the passenger's door.

"Allow? What are you my father?" I huffed as I got into his car. I was difficult yes; but I was no way near foolish enough not to take him up on his offer. While he drove, I adjusted his heat and fiddled with the radio. The wet fabric of my dress was so annoying on my thighs; I couldn't wait to get home and take this stupid dress off and forget the events of the night.

"I'm sorry you're uncomfortable." I glared at Cullen, my actions where unnecessary he had done nothing wrong, he was helping me in this situation, and he deserved my kindness.

"It's my fault I shoulda called a cab or something, after irrational decisions common-sense quickly prevails." I laughed awkwardly as I again tried to reposition the stupid dress.

"Yeah that's usually how it goes," I watched him as he now gave all his attention to the road.

"Edward . . . thanks for this . . . and for telling me about Dean."

"You mean Dylan?" He smirked like the smart ass I had grown to . . . tolerate.

"Oh . . .yeah . . .whoops," I shrugged I really didn't care what the guy was called, I planned to forever personally know him as asshole.

"I didn't want you to make the same mistake twice." He stated in a monotone fashion.

"You know I hate when you pity yourself, it's a disgusting characteristic you need to work on that." I rolled my eyes and focused my stare out the window to the rain coming down, I was slowing, at least that was getting better. "I said I would never visit the past with you again but since you saved me we can have one more convo hopefully it will save what little sanity you have left."

"You don't . . ."

"Shut up Edward you need to hear this! You were NOT a mistake . . . I don't regret you, but I've grown, I know what we did . . . wasn't the right thing to do, logically I know that. Now I want someone that is _only_ meant for me, it would defeat the purpose for me to date someone that is married . . . someone like Dean would never work." I laughed figuring that I had explained the situation effectively.

"Or me." What more self-pity I groaned knowing that this conversation was becoming more trouble than it was worth.

"Look, it's not about you Edward. In an alternate universe we might have worked but we had and AFFAIR! We slept around that's it we need to both just get over it." The speed of Edward's car accelerated to speed that even I was uneasy about.

"I need to pull over." He said before he stopped at the small mom & pop store. He exited the car viciously and began to pace erratically in the rain. I frowned as the feeling in my chest began to tighten and ache. I wanted to reach out to him. The whole point of my stupid speech was to be nice to him but obviously, I had pissed him off so much so that the monstrous side of him decided to attack the gas pedal in the Volvo.

I didn't know what to say, I actually felt horrible that he was going through this, after all Edward wasn't a pro of masking his emotions like I was. I heard as he grumbled something to himself as he continued to pace in front of the car. I didn't want to face him, and I most definitely couldn't speak to him while he was like this. I didn't really fully get what I had said that upset him so much, I was just honest. It was true that our involvement wasn't based on the possibility that he would be 'the one' for me, it was based on feeling alive and experiencing a rush . . . or at least it was at first. _Platonic?_ The voice laughed at me. Obviously it was my subconscious telling me how stupid I was to believe that could ever happen now; I would have to disappear from Edward's life completely or else we would constantly cause stress and drama in each other's life. I would never be able to see him again, not even in passing. I lay my head against the window and attempted rest while he continued to walk off his frustration. The decisions that I had to make swam in my head. I needed a new school, possibly a new apartment, and Ness. What about Ness? I can't keep her away from her father . . . maybe it was time for here to go home for good. I groaned slightly realizing that to break the cycle that Edward and I had created; I would have to place the kid back in the middle of hell. I groaned again and shifted, I then realized I was no longer in Edward's car but on a bed.

I opened my eyes to find myself on my bed in my oversized t-shirt, my dress and under garments on the floor beside me. I panicked slightly what the hell happened? A big chunk of time was missing from the night . . . and where was Edward? We didn't . . . we couldn't have, I looked between my legs looking for any sticky slippery signs of sex.

"What on Earth are you doing?" Edward entered the room and looked at me as if I had lost my damned mind. He walked towards me with a small brown bag in tow. "No Leah that's ludicrous I would never take advantage of your unconsciousness." Something in his eyes seemed sad, I wondered if my mental accusations had disappointed him, but I would never voice that concern. He sat on the edge of the bed beside me.

"I don't even remember you getting back in the car let alone arriving here. I must have been really out of it." I said not wanting to talk about anything that would cause him to get upset again. I stretched and looked at the clock it was 2:00AM. "Hey where's"

"Rose brought Ness back about an hour or so ago. I had asked her to stay with you so that you wouldn't be too terrible disoriented upon awakening, but she had to go home and attend to Emmett," Edward lowered his eyes and smirked, I smirked too we both knew what that meant. "So I stayed to ensure you were okay."

"Thanks for chillin with me Edo," I laughed and fell back on my pillow he simply arched an eyebrow at my behavior.

"Also, I got you this since you are becoming human you will need to act a little more responsibly about your health." He handed me the brown bag.

"Cough medicine?" It was my turn to arch a brow. "I haven't taken medicine since . . ."

"You were human, which bring our conversation full circle." He said tapping the bottle in my hands, I rolled my eyes and sighed. I supposed he was right I opened the bottle and took a swig of the green liquid and almost gagged, the taste was bitter and disgusting. Edward's laughter shook the bed and caused me to glare in his direction.

"Why'd you buy liquid med anyway, they all pretty much taste like shit!" I shoved the back into his hands.

"Because liquids get into the blood stream quicker." He said while he glanced at the label.

"You would know all about the blood stream Cul" I murmured and he smirked then his expression dropped slightly.

"I should be going." He rose to leave, but if this was last time I would ever see him I wasn't ready for our time to end. In reality he would have to start from scratch with Bella anyway, since he had been letting her go and do what ever the hell she wanted without asking her where she was going one more night wasn't gonna kill anybody. As soon as I processed the thought, he paused and turned to me curiously.

"Well since you are standing there looking like a lost puppy you might as well stay a while longer," I said patting the cool spot where he was once sitting.

"That's so gracious of you," he spoke sarcastically, "not self-serving on your part at all." He said placing his hands in his pocket I made a strong conscious effort not to look in the area that his hands directed me to and surprisingly I was successful.

"Shut up Cullen! Face facts if you wanted to leave you'd be gone and half way back to Forks already." I said staring at him through the dim light created by my lamp made him look menacing, dangerous, and mouthwatering. Mouthwatering? Sex is not why I wanted him here . . . well, maybe a little bit but I didn't want to be controlled by that sensation tonight, I wanted to enjoy his company . . .verbal only.

"You'd be surprised I'm not that perceptive." He inched closer to the bed almost teasing me with his lingering.

"That's not surprising doof, and sit down already and stop staring at me like I'm some sort of damned alien."

"Excuse me for being a little confused," he finally sat down on the bed, "it's just that not even two weeks ago you said you didn't want to see me again."

"Well stalker leech it took you about three days to break your promise and follow me on my first date so everything that has been done since that point was pretty much fucked in my opinion." I crossed my arms in a 'take that' sorta fashion.

"I never promised you anything. You assumed I'd stay away from you because that's what you wanted, but I never agreed to anything." Silence tackled us both. I was agitated that he was being so fucking pig-headed when it came to me. If I'm remembering the epic tale that is Bella and Edward correctly he was all to happy to leave Bella if that's what she wanted, he respected her a whole hell of a lot more than he did me . . . what was I thinking about I really didn't need to be comparing myself to Bella. Mainly because I knew, I would never want to be anything like her. My involvement with Edward would be over after tonight and comparisons were just an idle waste of time.

"New topic . . . come up with one quick because you're ruining my good time. Something random and completely left field should do the trick."

"Okay . . ." He paused thoughtfully, "I hate your shirt!"

"What? Why?" I mean it was old but not worth hating.

"It's Sam's why do you still have it . . . to me it's a sign someone still hasn't let go." He tried to alter his voice in an attempt to be funny, but I just rolled my eyes at him. This was by no means a safe topic for us.

"This was a gift I gave to Sam why would he get to keep it after what he did to me?" He seemed to approve of my answer.

"Makes sense," He looked around my room then back to the shirt, "it still has his scent. Are you sure that's not what compels you to where it? In a way it could be argued that you take him to bed with you every night."

"God enough about the damned shirt please!" I threw my arms in the air exasperated, "It's just a stupid shirt! I don't even wear it that often I prefer to sleep naked," I got up, made my way to the bathroom, and found the PJs I had worn around the house the other night while I was hanging with Ness the night before.

"Here," I said shoving the stupid shirt into Cullen's arms, "if it bothers you so much get rid of it." I plopped back in the bed in my shorts and cami.

"It's not mine to dispose of Leah." He sat the article of clothing at the foot of my bed.

"Consider it my gift to you Cullen, something to make you feel all fuzzy inside." I laughed darkly and he frowned.

"Leah, I rather not . . ."

"Cullen I swear you must be trying to piss me off!" I grabbed the stupid shirt and threw it to the foot for the bed.

"No, I'm seriously not, sad thing is I couldn't be doing a better job of it if I tried." More self-pity, maybe this is why I fucked him in the first place, to knock that stupid expression off his face.

"Stop Edward, just stop," I grabbed both his shoulders, "this night seriously going down hill again real fast." I smiled and smoothed the contours of his face. He inhaled deeply and relaxed himself.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"No problem, I am fully aware that you are a nut case and extremely temperamental." I said as I lay back in bed. Edward followed me, lying on the opposite side staring me in the face. Lips, right there in my face, I didn't have to kiss them I was stronger than the sensation inside of me. I did however, place my hand on the side of his face and he closed his eyes once more, I let my hand linger momentarily and when I went to remove it I felt a cold surface on top of it. His hand guided my from his face to his chest where his heart should beat. I looked at his face once more to know see topaz eyes staring back at me. My heart beat furiously like it was being for the both of us. I allowed him to keep my hand placed over his chest he closed his eyes again apparently enjoying the feel of my touch and I was loving it so why knock a good thing. I closed my eyes and relaxed too, maybe we wouldn't talk but at least we were enjoying each others company which was what I wanted.

We lay together peacefully still for a while until I feel him begin to move my hand once more. He moved my hand under his shirt to his lower abdomen I kept my eyes closed and enjoyed the contours of his cool sculpture like perfection. My lips parted slightly as he moved my fingertips around his belly button, he moved slowly in a circular motion each time my finger brushed against the small patch of hair slightly bellow his belly button I held my breath. Was it possible to have an orgasm from simply touching someone? Maybe it was simply the knowing that if I moved my hand a just a little bit lower I would stumble upon greatness and trust me Edward's piece was magnificent. He moved my hand along the trail of his patch repeating the action several times before I became clear headed enough to even think about making a feeble attempt to stop him.

"I, I" I started but he interrupted. I am not weak but I'm most definitely horny.

"You, you Leah Clearwater," he rested my hand on the front of his pants as he allowed his cold touch to travel up my arm and make its way back to my face, "are achingly beautiful do you know that?" He breathed laughter into my face causing my nostrils to burn slightly and my panties to become wet.

"Stop Cullen," I said, actually it was more of a whine, a sorry attempt at doing the right thing before I completely gave into his wishes.

"Leah we are doing nothing wrong. I'm just enjoying the feel of a good friend. I have touched you in no inappropriate places have I?" He whispered in his sex voice, the voice he always used when he wanted sex from me, the voice I couldn't resist. I should've just let his happy ass go home. "Leah did you know you have the cutest navel." He said as he lifted my shirt half way. He circled the area just as he had me do to him, I tried my best not squirm, but everything inside me was conflicted. My head was telling me to stop him for Ness' sake stick to the plan, my legs were thinking if we are listening to the head we better make a run for it, and my puss was saying for the love of all that is living will you please fuck him already. I groaned and arched my back. He rubbed the full length my stomach slowly as I just glared at him. "Leah, can I ask you something?" I nodded as I tried to control my breathing so that I could answer his question. "Who pleased you better Sam or me?"

"Why the fuck do you care about Sam?" I growled and arched back once more, I place my hand on his to stop his movement, he in turn placed the hand that I thought I had sneakily removed from his crotch back in place and began instruct me on how to touch him. I tried to move my hand but he kept it clamped in place, at least it was over his clothes I tried to be positive, but I could still feel his growth his desire to be with me and it made me want to ride him so hard.

"You're so warm Leah, you feel even better than I remember. I wish you were actually touching me." He spoke as if he were gasping for air. "Oh you're question about Sam, why do I care?" He muffled his pleasured noises again before attempting to speak, "you still hold onto so much of him . . . it just makes me curious." By the time finished talked he was fully erect. I needed to leave before I did something I regretted he could stay in here, I would move, out of respect for Ness I wouldn't let him leave the room this way if she were to wake and see him in this state she would probably be traumatized for the rest of her life.

"I, I" I tried to move, "Edward please!" I whispered not wanting the kid to hear.

"Leah please!" He mocked me grabbing my waist and placing me on top of him, right where I wanted to be and exactly where I was trying to avoid.

"Oh God!" I moaned as I felt size of his growth pressed up against my wet center. I clenched my teeth together determined not to move.

"Leah!" Edward he said grabbing my face to ensure he had my attention. When I glared at him, he actually laughed at me.

"Why are you pretending not to love the way this feels." He moved his hands to my waist and proceeded to press up closer together creating an orgasmic friction. I closed my as I frowned even though I enjoyed the feel of him he would not get the pleasure of seeing it on my face. "Leah you never answered me who's better? Sam? Me?" He began to move faster.

"Oooooh Shit!" I had to grind on him, I needed more, I reached for his zipper and grabbed hold of my senses. I was not going to have sex with Edward Cullen not tonight, not ever again. I placed my hands in my hair; I was prepared to pull it out if necessary to resist temptation.

"Leah?" He moaned

"Who the fuck do you think Cullen geez!" I moaned frowning the whole time cursing my body for going against my wishes. He had the balls to try to reach for my breasts but I slapped his hands away, this was something to be ashamed of we were both showing a weakness here.

"Leah, tell me!" He took one of his hand that I had just slapped away and directed it to the exact location of my clit.

"YOU OH GOD IT'S YOU EDWARD OH BABY YOU FEEL SO . . . " Just when I realized I was yelling his mouth covered mine and silenced me. I had never been so thankful to kiss the leech I didn't want to disturb the kid. Our movement began to slow as he laid me on my back and then kissed my cheek.

"Leah, I know that sex does not equal love but I feel like our bodies are meant to be connected. I'm meant to be yours." He said as he intertwined our hands and toyed with my fingertips as he had done before.

"Edward I . . ." I went to remind him of how wrong this shit was, but he put his hand over my mouth, I was tempted to bite it but what purpose would that serve.

"Can we not argue right now? I want to just take you in, after all you say this the last time I will ever see you." He smirked cleverly.

"Edward," I started again frowning all the while, "you ruined my shorts!" We both laughed.

After yet another slip with Edward I heard Ness' scream. "Oh shit she heard us." I went to turn to Edward but he wasn't there, I must have dosed off and he left. I hoped up (changed clothes of course) and ran down the hall to Ness. I never realized how long the hall was, way too long.

"LEAH!" I heard her call again.

"I'M COMING KID!" I continued to run, it was an apartment for crying out loud, I should most definitely be at her room by now.

"LEAH! LEAH!" Her screams began to transform into cries, then sobs but not hers.

"Baby?" My baby? I ran faster I knew it was my baby and it was hurt. "I'm coming baby? Momma's so sorry! She's coming as fast as she can!" I tripped, fell, and the hall seemed to rise like a bridge would sliding me back to square one separating me from the baby I desperately wanted to see.

"LEAH!" I snapped up and now stared Ness in the face. She was concerned she placed her hand on my shoulder and showed me that I had just had a horrible dream. "You okay?"

"Ye -Yeah, you ate?" She nodded and smiled.

"Dad told me to give you this," she handed me the envelop, "I didn't read it." She sat on the bed as if she were expecting me to read it to her.

"I not telling you what it says!" I nudged her slightly she groaned and then left my room.

_Leah, _

_We are going about this wrong. Carlisle has told me on multiple occasions that your female is always right so I will play this you way. You want me to be your friend, I can give you that emotion and only that emotion if that's what you want. I just wanted one more night of your touch just to prove something to myself. I have proven it, and now we can move on. You don't have to uproot your life I will never force you into something that you don't fully want ever again. Don't uproot your life until you absolutely have to. My only wish is that you allow us to be social. I believe that if we are not social, we will end up making an even bigger "accident" (or at least that's what you refer to them as). It's like when you starve someone and then place them in front a place of their favorite food and expecting them not to devour it, I'm sure you'd agree that assumption would be foolish. So what do you say Leah will you endure small doses of me even if they taste a little bitter? _

_See you in class. _

_Cullen_

I should have known the stupid medicine was a metaphor for something. Cullen was a lot smarter than I gave him credit for, this whole damn thing was a set up. He was trying to piss me off to throw me off my game. That would never happen again!

"Bastard!" I growled as I hoped up from the bed. I slammed the bathroom door I had to get ready my class was in an hour.

**A/N: Hey everyone! I hoped you liked this chapter it was a little unexpected but I kind of love it. In the chapters to come Leah will confront Jacob and that will be fun! This is a hot of the presses update, PM me if I need to revise a little, a lot, or everything!**

**Review and enjoy!**

**Oh, thanks to Stephycats for loving my story I'd been having a bad week and you made me smile!**

**Thanks to ChemicalJane and her amazing story, you still and will always rock!**


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

I was fifteen minutes late to lecture hall and I knew how the professor felt about late entries into his class but I had to go in, I had to prove a point to stupid Cullen. He was not gonna get the better of me; it was like we were playing chess and he thought he had all the stupid pawns well not this time buddy. Things were gonna happen my way.

"Ms. Clearwater why are you standing by the door? Enter! Enter!" The professor pulled me into the classroom and I headed toward my normal seat but a stocky red-headed boy was now occupying it. Name cards were sitting on each desk. A seating chart? What are we in sixth grade? "We are in an alphabetical format Ms. Clearwater." He went back to the head of the room and flipped through his class roster. "Ah Miss Clearwater you are to be seated by Mr. Cullen, Mr. Cullen please wave your hand so that she can locate her seat." I rolled my eyes as he did as the professor asked. Great, Cullen was bound to have known about this, it was all part of his plan to drive me insane. I took my seat and had already convinced myself that I had no need to look or talk to him at any point during the duration of the lecture.

"Actually I had no clue about this and I find it a little annoying that you blame me for everything!" He whispered but his tone was different it was funny, nice and . . . lighter if that's the right term for it.

"Sorry it's just that . . ." He put his hand in my face playfully.

"Ms. Clearwater please, some of us are trying to concentrate." He smiled devilishly. I rolled my eyes and grinned, he was being exactly what I wanted him to be (maybe slightly over the top but it still worked for me).

"I bet you all wondering what was the cause for the need for a seating arrangement. Well, there has been some heavy duty-cheating going on in this class. Note to the not so wise if you are going to cheat don't copy the wrong answers it is a big give away, not only that make sure that your essay is up to par so that I can't tell who is the cheater and who is being cheated of off, it's just common sense." The professor huffed as he handed out our last test.

"Constance Knots was cheating off of you." Edward whispered, "A lot."

"Yeah I had a feeling she was," I whispered back. I got my test back; I got a 100 with a little help from the extra credit I flew through the pamphlet searching for the question I had missed. I glanced at Cullen's test that lay on the desk in front of him, 104, figures. He flipped to the question I had gotten wrong in his test papers, pointed to it arching his eyebrow in a superior sort of fashion and giving me the correct answer at the same time. I glared at him that was the kind of smugness that would get him smacked.

"You were going to ask anyway." He said as he rolled his eyes.

"You're right _I_ was gonna ask _you_. You could have at least let me." _You freaking_ m_ind rapist, _I thought as I grin all the while.

"Leah I can't apologize for being better than you. It's just in my nature, you'll just have to embrace it." He laughed smugly.

"You're not better, you just don't like have to sleep. It's an unfair advantage, you're not better you're abnormal." Ha take that Cullen!

"You have an unfair advantage too," he countered.

"Oh really what's that?" I said, as I looked him in the eye for the first time during our conversation. His eyes widened slightly, and then focused into a more calm state.

"Your brain adapts to things quicker, you analyze deductive and analytical thoughts faster than most." He then decided to focus on the paper in front of him, probably in an attempt not to look at me anymore, even though part of me wished he would. Not because I wanted him or anything, just because I loved our conversation, eye contact would only heighten the experience and make it more real.

"That's just a long winded way of saying that I'm smarter than most, which is something I already knew." I rolled my eyes, "that's not unfair per se; I just work harder for the grades I get."

"And I don't?" He huffed, he still wasn't annoyed he was amused if anything.

"Well you may not; you could just be lifting the answers from the professor's head." He laughed like I had told the most amusing joke but literally could he do that.

"If you could see in this guy's head, he is really difficult to read. First, his thoughts are quiet like he thinks in a whispered tone. Next, his thoughts are all over the place; however most overly intelligent people's thoughts are." He frowned at his own small revelation.

"So are my thoughts all over the place." I asked and he chuckled, "what?"

"Leah are you asking me if I think you are overly intelligent," he laughed quietly yet out loud at the same time, "I think if you were, you would have done a few things in your life a lot differently . . . but I can tell you one thing about you're thoughts, they are extremely loud, especially during . . .rigorous activity." He smirked again, bastard, I knew what he meant. He was saying I couldn't control my mental tempo when I was getting busy, well if it was that distracting to him why did he do it numerous times? "I know you know what I mean you're not stupid, you're just not a genius, not everyone can be." He smirked again and tapped the paper in front of him on the desk.

"I want to wrap my hands around you neck and squeeze, you know that Cullen?" I glared at him but he never looked in my direction.

"Yeah, I know." He discreetly pointed to his head and I rolled my eyes. The professor was going over the test, which was something that thankfully neither of us had needed to hear since we were talking through it. I asked Edward why his answer was right in oppose to mine and that was all the time I really spent thinking about microbiology during that period.

When we were dismissed for class and we both got up to leave. He smiled at me, just a basic friendly smile no undertone behind it, and I issued him the same kindness. It was crazy that after a night like last night we could act like this, as if nothing had ever happened between us. "Oh Leah one more thing, you do have the unfair advantage over me," he whispered so the others couldn't hear even though I didn't really think they were paying us much attention, "because you can sleep it gives your brain time to rest and you time to give in to your dreams and subconscious medically the brain needs that. Plus it makes it hard to study when you're mine keeps drifting elsewhere."

"Well . . .," I want to say something smart and profound too but all I could leave him with was the truth, "you may be right I may need sleep but I think it's lucky you don't require it. It makes it easier to lie when your subconscious isn't constantly trying to attack you with the truth. Oh, and also that falling dream, you know the one where you are falling off a building or a bridge and you are just about to hit bottom then you wake up, it sucks like a mother." We both laughed. "Seeya next class?"

"Is that really a question?"

I never thought I would see the day where I couldn't wait to see Edward Cullen, well not for any reason other than sex anyway. He was quickly becoming one of the people in my life I couldn't stand going a day without hearing from. I should have seen this as a problem or a forebode of bad things to come but because of a slight impairment of judgment, I didn't.

"I know it anyway why not just give it to me?" Edward said one day after class, more rather one night. We had been hanging at his car since class ended and that was over three hours ago.

"Because you shouldn't have it even if you know it?" I snapped back, "Besides you have my main line number why do you need my cell number anyway?"

"Because Dirtywater that'll give me permission to use it!" He said lifting me to the trunk of his Volvo. I guess he could tell that my feet were getting tired and I still didn't want to leave.

"Dirtywater? Really?" I grimaced, "That was horrible, like the worse attempt at an insult I've ever heard; please try again once you've gotten more practice." I laughed and leaned back, he took a couple steps closer and went to place his hands on my thighs then thought better off it.

"It wasn't that bad!" He grumbled.

"Hmph, it's as bad as if I had called you Dullen, you know cause you're so Dull . . . matter of fact it's worse than if I'd called you that!" I laughed harder and he laughed too. I yawned and looked up at the night sky (it was clear not a cloud in the sky), I was gonna be no good tomorrow but I couldn't bring myself to leave. It seemed like each day we spent more and more time outside under the October sky talking about absolutely nothing. Which was bad, he needed to be at home making it work with his wife, but I couldn't bring myself to tell him what we were doing was wrong, because us just socializing wasn't _really_ wrong, there was a lot worse we could be doing with our mouths.

"You know if you would just give me your number I could talk to you on the way home and once you got home, we'd both make home in the daylight." He said bring the convo back to the stupid cell number that he already had.

"Cullen you are killing me!" I growled.

"You're killing yourself." He scoffed, "Give it to me, or you'll have to suffer the consequences!" He tried to give me a look that was scary and menacing and all I did was laugh in his face.

"And what consequences are those? Trust me I have lived almost thirty years without hearing your voice on a regular basis it will be no torture to me to not have you on the other end of the receiver." I rolled my eyes and crossed my arms.

"Who said anything about that being the consequence? Are you forgetting again dear Leah that I could kill you in less than a second? And I don't _need_ to talk to you either by the way, but I _want_ to. I want your permission. Can I call you?" He looked at me pleadingly and a small glimpse of the old Edward ran through my head . . . I actually missed him or parts of him anyway.

"Sure." I said playfully.

"Well then I need your number?" He said pulling out his phone so he could add it.

"You already have it!" I took his phone away from him and looked through it, this time when he approached me he completed the task of putting one hand on either of my knee caps, his touch, as always, made my skin tingle. I could feel his stare on me as I looked through his phone. I was looking without really focusing I was biding my time; I needed my thoughts to return to a platonic level before I would be able to look at him correctly.

"Leah. I. Want. You. To. Give. It. To. Me." He fumed, "I didn't know you were so slow." He rolled his eyes at me.

"I didn't know you were such a liar," I sniffled as if I were crying, "just the other day you were telling me I was smart now you're saying I'm slow, I don't know what to believe anymore."

"Oh you're smart alright." He said pulling his keys out I guess he was ready to leave.

"Time to check on the Mrs." I smiled even though it caused a horrible sour feeling to hit my stomach.

"Yeah . . . I guess." He sighed, "and what was you're number again?" He smirked as he gave his last attempt at getting my number.

"Goodnight Edo," I sighed as I walked away from his car. I looked through my phone and found his number; Ness had put it in my contacts a long time ago. I called it and let it ring but only for a second. I guess this time it was okay for Cullen to get his way.

When I got home, I was on cloud nine, every time I left Edward I seemed to feel that way. Not because of an attraction to him but because of the stupid stuff he said, his voice and his statements would run constantly through my mind making me smile. However, tonight a moping whining Jacob was about to ruin my good mood.

"Jake?" I frowned at him I wanted to asked him what in the hell he was doing on my doorstep then I remembered he didn't know what I knew about him and Bella, but I had a feeling he would soon find out.

"Can I come in?" I looked at him his face looked tired and for as strong as he was physically he looked weak and drained.

"Uh . . . yeah." I said opening the door I headed for the kitchen I grabbed chips and a couple of beers, something told me we were gonna need more than a couple.

"Where's Nessie?" He asked looking around. I rolled my eyes he should have known I wouldn't have left the kid here alone.

"With Rose she'll be back soon," I paused debated my next statement but it had to be said, "she's probably not gonna want to see you." I chugged my beverage preparing for the falling out I was about to have with my so-called best friend.

"Why is that . . . do you know why she hasn't been answering my calls?" He frowned at me as if it were my fault.

"Look, all I know is that the kid is going through something and once she has had the time to deal she will probably call you. She cares a lot about you Jacob, you should be careful not to hurt her." Shit I shouldn't have said that last part.

"What have _I_ done to hurt her?" He growled I needed him to stay calm the last thing I need was an oversized wolf in my apartment.

"Jacob, I shouldn't be involved in whatever is going on between the two of you. Honestly I don't know shit about what she feels for you right now so . . ." I went to the door to ask him to leave but he slammed the door and got in my face.

"Don't lie to me Leah! You know something just tell me what it is!" He slammed his fist through the wall great that was another repair I was gonna have to pay for because I knew he wasn't gonna offer up any cash. "Leah!"

"Look I told you what I know!" I was proud of myself for not blowing the kid's cover. What I really wanted to do was beat the holly hell outta Jacob but I hadn't laid a finger on his head.

"Really?" He glared at me.

"Really." I tried to smile innocently, and then my cell phone went off. I looked at the caller i.d. I knew who it was it wouldn't be smart to answer it now, so I ignored it. "So we good?" I asked I extended my arms for a hug.

"Aren't you gonna get that?" He watched me curiously.

"It's just a sales call." I countered, "you know how I hate those things." I silenced the phone and stuck it in my back pocket.

"Something's up with you," he whipped around me grabbing my phone, "Cullen? Are you seriously fucking him again and with little Nessie here? What happens when she finds out Leah she's gonna hate you." He looked at me with disgust.

"Grow the fuck up Jake, I'm not fucking anybody as usual you don't know what in the hell you are talking about!" I snapped and snatched my phone back, "I think it's time for you to get the hell out." I said trying to maintain composure.

"I will as soon as you tell me how you could be so stupid. Why are you even talking to the guy? You will ruin Ness' life you know that, just like you ruined mine." He looked at me enraged, like I had done some horrible injustice, but the reality was that I was being the 'good guy' here and I still couldn't get credit for it. I was tired of being nice.

"Jake you ruined your life the moment you allowed Bella to force your little penis into her vagina. I didn't have anything to do with that! You allowed that to happen! Guess what Ness knows and that's why she doesn't want to be bothered with your punk ass! So do her a favor and leave her the hell alone so she can deal . . . just let her breathe a little." I tried to soften my expression, I really hadn't wanted to hurt him by telling him, but he left me not choice.

"So that's why she thinks you and Cullen are such saints. What if she found out what happened between the two of you, then what?" He held a smug look on his face I was all too happy to shut down.

"She already knows what happened between her father and me. She's not mad at either of us. The difference is that she considers you hers . . . or at least she did, now that you've fucked her mom, you're tainted don't you get it?"

"I DIDN'T WANT TO! SINCE YOU PUT YOUR NASTY ASS PUSSY ON EDWARD HE WON'T TOUCH HIS OWN DAMN WIFE AND SHE'S BEEN . . ." He slams his fists onto the coffee table breaking it in half.

"I get that Bella's been using you, I really do, but you had so many alternatives to the line of action you chose. You could have walked away, you could have told Edward, or, and this one is my personal favorite, you could have told Ness what her mother did. Ness is old enough to understand what's going on and she is old enough to decide if she wants to see you . . . and right now she doesn't want to see you, so you gotta go before she gets home." I sighed and made my final attempt to get him out of my house. When I opened the door, Rose was standing at the door with Ness. Jacob's eyes glazed over from the presence of Ness. Ness gripped tightly to Rose's hand as if for protection.

"Jake, what are you doing here?" Ness' voice sounded a lot smoother than her outward appearance.

"I was just talking to Leah . . . and checking on you."

"I'm fine." She said bluntly and then she looked to the ground as if she was physically in pain, "Jake, I need you to leave okay. I promise to call you in the near future; I just can't stomach looking at you right now." Then her tears fell and then a sad acidic burn ran through my stomach.

"Don't worry Nessie I was on my way out. I promise will never hurt you again." With that, he was gone.

"Do you want me to stay?" Rose asked Ness as she took a look around at the damage that Jacob had caused, he was always so hot headed and destructive when he was angry.

"No, I need to talk to Leah alone." The little one glared at me. Not two seconds after Rose was gone she ripped into me.

"YOU TOLD!" She cried, "I could tell that you did! I wasn't ready! WHY?" She ran to my guest room and locked the door.

"Ness! Ness! Open the damned door Ness!" I banged on the door. "I didn't mean to, he was just . . . he needed to know." I murmured.

"I WANT MY DADDY!" She screamed and began to sob.

11:30PM Edward Cullen was on my doorstep. I didn't even look at him I just opened the door and allowed him to come in. I'm not the kind of person for self-pity but this was really my fault if I had just kept my mouth shut Ness wouldn't have spent the duration of the night sobbing. I just couldn't take Jacob blaming me when his problems weren't my fault . . . not entirely anyway. Edward knocked at her door.

"Renesmee sweetheart, may I come in?" She opened the door and embraced her father; he picked her up and swayed her back and forth. He walked with her back into the bedroom and tried to calm her hysterical sobs. I couldn't take it. I needed to escape but I couldn't just leave Ness regardless of whether Cullen was here or not I couldn't leave her when I had caused this pain. I went to my bathroom and showered I attempted to wash the stupid off me I scrubbed rigorously until it hurt. I sat down on the shower floor and let the hot water run over me until it turned cold. Tears, great now I was crying too, who knew the overly affectionate little brat would have such an impact on my heart.

Once I pulled myself together, I found Edward standing in my room. "Are you okay?" He asked. I another burning sensation went through my chest and then quickly subsided.

"Yeah, why wouldn't I be?" I scoffed and turned my focus to brushing the kinks out of my wet hair. I didn't want to look at him and I didn't want to face Ness, but here I was stuck in another mess.

"Here." He took my brush from me and began to brush the locks of hair I was working on. He was a lot gentler than I would have been. He treated me as if I were some kind of doll something to be fragile with, but I wasn't about to crack I was just pissed at myself.

"This is why I hate long hair. It takes forever to manage." I said for lack of anything better to say. I shifted my weight so I wasn't standing quite so close to him.

"I like you with long hair; it suits your facial structure better." He mused, "More males seem to be attracted to you this way."

"Oh really," I laughed at the thought; guys were generally not attracted to me they were more scared shitless than anything else.

"Yeah." He murmured, he quickly took a moment to take in the scent of my hair, then arched his eye brows.

"What?" I grimaced.

"You don't smell like wet dog anymore." He said it as though he was serious, which meant I was seriously gonna hit him.

"Shut up!" I went to swing at him and he wrapped my arms around his neck and forced me into a hug. He wasn't trying to be seductive, I guess he just knew that my thoughts were tearing me apart.

"Do you want to talk about what happened today?" He asked after holding me in his arms for a few moments, I simply shook my head refusing his offer, however the memories ran through my head which was enough to give him an idea of what has been going on. "Jacob will fix things with Renesmee, and she will let him." Edward mused, part of me thought he was only saying the things I wanted to hear.

"How do you know you can't see the future?" I countered as I went to release my grip he continued to hold me close.

"Because I know my daughter," he sighed and let me go, "and she wants to see you." He said taking my hand and leading me to her room.

The little girl was sitting up in her bed as if she were expecting me. "Hey" She said giving me a bright smile.

"Sup kid," I said sitting on the side of her bed. Once I did, she threw herself into my arms, which completely caught me off guard I was expecting her to yell and scream at me.

"Leah, I'm sorry I got mad." She said as she now picked at my wet hair and robe.

"I would've been mad too if I were you." I said as I awkwardly patted her back.

"I still trust you Leah," she hugged me tighter, "I still love you, don't worry." The kid loved me? The word love always sent me into a panic I don't like being associated with it, people expected so much of you when that word is used, not only that, when people used that word around me they always ended up disappearing. However, with Ness it seemed different she didn't really seem to want to change me like Sam did, and I didn't think it would really hurt me if she were to eventually want to try to bound with her mother again. We had our own bound a different bound.

"I . . . I love you too kid, now park your butt in the bed." She laughed and hopped in the bed.

"Goodnight," she sang.

"Night."

Edward didn't leave my house until 4:30 in the morning and I didn't hit the bed until 6:00 meaning that_ I_ was going to be the walking dead all day. My first class of the day was Anatomy, Edward had joined the class too almost a month into the semester. We had started sitting to together just so that we could annoy each other. The lecture hall was auditorium style so as a typical norm we would fight for dominance over the arm rest but I didn't have the energy to put up a good fight.

"Just take it Cullen stop being a little shit!" I murmured.

"Someone must've woke up on the wrong side of the bed this morning. What's the matter Leah didn't you sleep well?" He smirked. No_, I was just up all night making sure your daughter was okay._ I yawned and shifted in my seat. "Is everything okay at home?" That was his code for asking if Ness was okay.

"Yeah, she's as Ness-like as ever." I said as I fought to keep my eyes open.

"You know you should have skipped today I know how cranky little Leah gets without her beauty sleep," he laughed, "and I would have lent you my notes." He gave me his arrogant smirk that he always wore so well.

"Bite me Cullen!" I attempt to fuss at him but all I came out was more yawning.

"Just tell me where to dig in" he murmured and we both laughed.

"How many times do I have to tell you to shut up?" I nudged his elbow of the armrest. There was still a little fight in me even if I was exhausted.

"I honestly think if I were to shut up you would crash. So technically, I'm saving your life right now . . . or your grade anyway." He laughed.

"My hero!" I made sure he could hear the sarcasm in my voice.

"Anytime . . ." was the last thing I heard him say before blacking out. I hate the dreams you have when you know you're dreaming. Of course Edo was there and I was hanging off a cliff hanging on for dear life.

"_Edward! Please, please save me!" I said I felt my arms get weak. I wasn't gonna be able to hold my own weight a minute longer._

"_Do you need me Leah?" He asked as if it were a real question. I'm dangling from a freaking cliff. _

"_Yes, I need you Edward! Please help me!" He looked down, extended his hand, and pulled me up effortlessly. "Oh Edward thank you, you saved my life!" I hugged him so tightly to ensure that I felt every part of him. _

"_Leah . . . Leah," I looked up at him and his eyes turned cold and evil. "Get the hell away from me you sick bitch you've ruined my life!" With those words running through my head he pushed me over the cliff I couldn't figure out what hurt worse his words or him pushing me. If he truly wanted me dead, then I wanted to die. _

"Leah!" I awakened to the gentle nudge of Cullen's and his arm around my shoulder. I had fallen asleep with my head on his shoulder. "I would never . . ." he said before he stared out into nothingness, obviously he was listening in on someone thoughts.

"Cullen, whose mind are you raping now?" I whispered.

"Carlisle is about to stick his nose in where it doesn't belong." He grumbled angrily. "Please know that none of this was my idea." I frowned at Edward's pleading face, I was hella confused, but everything was about to explained quite quickly.

"Class, now for a treat we have a very special guess. He is one of the best surgeons in the Washington state Dr. Carlisle Cullen." I watched as the blonde headed vampire man made his way to the center of the floor. His eyes immediately detected Edward and me, he frowned slightly before he greeted the class. I noticed that Edward's arm was still around me, he was gripping me tightly almost as if he was preparing to protect me from something. The stare between Carlisle and Edward was unbreakable during the beginning of his speech it made me wonder why Carlisle was really here?

**Author's Note: **

**Hey, everyone hoped you like this chapter! It was a little lighter than the others I wanted to create a friendship vibe between Edward and Leah (it will be useful in the future). The chapter is a little shorter than the others but I wanted to save the reason for Carlisle appearance for the next chapter. What do you think Carlisle's appearance in Leah's class means? I can give one small hint of things to come, Edward and Leah will be pushed into a situation that Leah is definitely uncomfortable with. As always, thank you to ChemicalJane and her awesome mind. Thanks to everyone reading and please review like crazy lol! **


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"I'm here to give a brief lecture on the incredible organ the brain." Carlisle started as he continued to stare at Edward. I tried to shift away from Edward but he gripped me tighter.

"What in the hell are you doing? Let go of me!" I whispered and elbowed him in the ribs. "What the hell's wrong with you?" I berated him as quietly as possible so that the class wouldn't be disturbed.

"He wants me to stay away from you. I have done nothing wrong . . . lately I have been nothing more than a friend have I not?" He asked me his eyes pleading me to be truthful.

"Yeah Cullen you have been more than cool lately." I even patted his hand to calm his nerves.

"His thoughts keep bouncing back and forth I can't make sense of his reason for being here, but it can't be good." He finally sighed; his body seemed to calm a little as he released me from his death grip.

"So what you're saying is . . . Carlisle's overly intelligent, and I'm not." I pretended to be put out and Edward looked at me as if I had lost my mind and then smiled hopelessly.

"What am I going to do with you?" He pretended to be exasperated. "Carlisle might be plotting away to ruin our good time and you're joking about his intelligence."

"Good time? Whose having a good time I thought I was trying to go to school to better myself, school isn't supposed to be fun Cullen. To me it seems like he was just asked to come to the class and give a stupid speech." I shrugged because seriously Edward could be freaking out for no reason at all, which he is something he is highly known for doing.

After thirty minutes of Carlisle going on about the brain. He wrapped up his speech thanking us all for our undivided attention and everyone clapped. "Also there is one more thing; I have a rewarding opportunity for the four students in this class harboring the highest grade point average so far this semester. Your professor is allowing me to borrow you to assist some of our most respected doctors in the hospital in which I resident. The names of the four people being bestowed this opportunity are, Constance Knots, Dani Miller, Leah Clearwater, and my son Edward Cullen. If you could all meet me at the front of the classroom so that we can step outside and discuss this opportunity." Carlisle smiled his warm caring smile which always freaked me out and waited for us to join him up front.

We all stood out in the hall and the Constance chick was grinning from ear to ear. "What an amazing opportunity! Leah we should team up if we can, I think we would make a terrific team!" Her tiny voice buzzed in my ear and annoyed me.

"You mean so that you can ensure that you make yourself look good . . . no thanks. Plus, I'm not sure if I'm interested in this whole deal." I huffed.

"What? How could you give up this opportunity?" The Dani girl looked at me as if I were crazy.

"How could you be so quick to take it? You don't even know what he's offering yet." I said resting on the wall. I was still exhausted I wanted to lay my head on Edward's shoulder, from previous experience he was good for pillow usage, but I knew how it would look so I decided against it. He stood close beside me so that are arms were touching he was still on guard, he was acting like Carlisle was going to try to kill me or something, but even I know what a gentle soul Carlisle has, there was no need to Edward edginess.

"Will you chill out you're making me nervous." I murmured.

"You should sit down you look like you could pass out on your feet." He countered.

"I'll sit if you chill." I extended my hand for him to shake it, he did, and I sat on the cold hallway floor as we continued to wait for Carlisle.

"Sorry it took me so long," Carlisle said as he approached us, "your professor is incredibly long winded." The others laughed. "What's wrong son you look like you've seen a ghost." Carlisle patted him on the shoulder. "Now I guess you are all wondering what I am asking you to do. A couple of specialist would like help getting papers in order, and assistance with uploading patient's personal data into the new system the hospital is switching to, they don't have enough medical assistants to perform the tasks so we figured that this would be an amazing opportunity for some students to get a dose of the medical atmosphere and speak with patients, nurses, and doctors. You will be split up into pairs. Dani and Constance will be working with Dr. Washington in the Pediatrics department; he has been working in his field for over 15 years really knows his stuff. Leah and Edward you will be working with Dr. Moore, she's in the Neurology department and has been working there for 25 years, she requested you specifically son." Carlisle smirked at Edward, something was definitely up there.

"Of course you all will spend a little time with me and I will take you through the ER and show you around and see if they need any assistance. Any questions so far?" He asked the other girls just smiled and shook their heads. "Good, also I have arranged for you all to have apartments in Forks while working with us so that you won't have too terrible of a commute. I have leased two apartments, originally I wasn't going to ask my son to be apart of this being that I felt it took away from another student's opportunity but since Dr. Moore insisted on having him work with her . . . I had no choice. Dani, Constance, I had planned for you two to stay in the same room; there are only two bedrooms per apartment. Leah, would you mind horribly sharing your space with my son?"

"I can't do this," I blurted out, "I have obligations that require I stay in Seattle." I growled slightly. My thoughts went to Alice and our agreement and then Ness if we moved back to Forks it would be too easy for Jacob and her mother to have access to her, maybe that's what Carlisle wanted.

"Trust me all of your obligations can be taken care of in Forks." He looked at me knowingly; however in this case he didn't know what the hell he was talking about.

"But . . ."

"Leah, this is the opportunity of a lifetime. You need to really think about this before you turn it down." He was right I may never get this opportunity again.

"I don't know." I ran my hand through my hair and then looked at a smirking Edward.

"That's supposed to be my _thing_." He whispered, I tried not to smile at his stupidity, I swear I did.

"Something funny Leah?" Carlisle asked.

"No not at all." I said stifled my laughter.

"You will all have the weekend to make up your minds. If you decide to take this opportunity you can meet me outside of your Anatomy class on Monday. I think that's it, hopefully I will see you all on Monday." With that he was gone. If I was really becoming human I couldn't afford to pass up this opportunity but I would be putting myself in the same space as Edward. The reality was if he stayed with me he would ruin Ness' life, Bella would most definitely take the opportunity to mess around with Jacob, and as much as I like Jacob I don't think he will be able to resist Bella.

After a few minutes everyone around me had left except for Edward he stood on the opposite side of the hall looking at me. I finally made I contact with him.

"What?" I glared at him.

"Nothing, just reading your mind wondering what you were going to do," he was honest, "are you going to participate in this thing? I could pass on doing it if it will make the decision easier for you."

"That's not the only thing that matters Cullen. I gave Alice my word." Without my word what do I have?

"Carlisle will deal with Alice . . . is that the only reason you don't want to do this."

"Cullen . . ." I groaned then decided to break down and be honest, "it's the main reason but not the _only_ one I guess." We had made it to my car. I had already pulled out my key this conversation had the potential to become heavy. Everything up to this point between Cullen and me had become easy; at the risk of sounding repetitive I actually enjoyed our involvement now that it was more on a casual level.

"Well . . ." He grabbed my hands and held them in his toying with them, "what's stopping you?" His eyes took on a darker hue as he folded our hands together. He thought he was the reason I was hesitant to take the opportunity (I mean he was, but how cocky was it of him to think that).

"Ness," I said slipping my hands from his quickly, "I have to think about what she will be comfortable with. The whole point of her living with me was to get her away from the things causing her stress and pain. I don't want to make her life any harder than it is right now. I'll ask her about the whole thing tonight." I said as I opened my car door and hopped inside.

"So that's it you're leaving?" He asked he seemed kind of bummed. Part of me, the majority of me, wanted to stay with him freeze time and just act stupid with him but I couldn't not today.

"Yeah, I gotta a lot of thinking to do and you said yourself that I'm not overly intelligent so this _may_ take some time." I smirked confidently at him knowing my statement was sure to annoy him; he rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"I'm going to call you later. Will you answer?" He said as he closed my car door.

"Hmmm . . . it's hard to say. I can't see into the future I maybe in the middle of something important, like discovering the secret to . . ." He silenced me by placing his pointer finger over my lips. The feel of his gentle touch made me want to open my mouth and place his finger inside. I wanted to taste him so badly.

"Sometimes Leah you talk _too_ damn much," he smirked as he still covered my mouth, "a simple yes or no would work in this situation." He caressed my cheek momentarily then moved his hand away. "Will you answer?"

"Probably . . . maybe." I smirked as I started my car and took off onto the highway.

When I made it home Ness came bounding towards me tackling me in an embrace. "Hey Leah!" She pulled me to the couch and stared at me as if I was supposed to tell her something important.

"Hey." I narrowed my eyes suspiciously.

"Sooo, did anything interesting happen today." The girl beamed. She knew something and I really didn't like being held in the dark.

"Ness, what's going on? What did you do?" I glared at the little girl that was now bouncing on the couch, I hated when she was overly hyper Rose must've given her sugar.

"Well I've been talking to Rose . . ."

"That's never a good thing." I grumbled.

"Do you want to know what's going on or not?" The kid had the nerve to actually glare at me; she must have been hanging around me too long. "Anyway, we think that you and my dad need to test it to see if it works."

"What? To see if what works?"

"Your connection, you need to know if it's more than physical. I used my charm to persuade Carlisle to my way of thinking and he came up with this program. Plus, this way I get to live with my two favorite people." She hugged me.

"Does your dad know about this?" I said trying to remain calm but the whole thing had me kind of on edge. The little brat set me up, the one thing I have been avoiding this whole time was being slapped in my face by the one little person I was trying to protect, talk about irony.

"Nope, just me, Rose, and Carlisle . . . and now you." She smiled sweetly, "Don't you want to know if you _really_ like my dad and if he _really_ likes you?" Her big brown eyes stared into mine.

"It's not like that between your father and me. I will admit there's a small tiny attraction and maybe a friendship between us but that is it, your dad loves your mom." As soon as I said the words Ness began to shake her head.

"That's not true. I could show you . . ." she went to touch me and I dodged her advance, "I could also show you why I think you're head over heels in love with my dad . . . but I agree you shouldn't tell him until you're sure that's why we set this up." She sounded as smug as her father.

"Well, since you know so much, aren't you concerned by how this will affect Jacob and your mother. If Cullen and I were to 'get together' your mom may decide that she wants Jake for herself." I hoped that realization would be enough to make Ness rethink her decision.

"If that's the case and he gives in, she can have him because he obviously wasn't meant for me anyway. Don't get me wrong I care about Jacob and I will always see him as mine . . . but I don't ever think I will be able to see him romantically, not after what he did." She sighed deeply, "but then again I've only been alive for five years so what do I know." We both laughed. I looked at this girl who seemed to have everything mapped out not only for herself but for me too.

"So what do we do now?" I asked the kid who had cradled herself in my arms.

"We pack!"

All of my precautions to protect Ness were soon going to be thrown out the window. We unloaded the last box into our new apartment that we would be staying in for at least a month . . . with Edward. It was a lot bigger than where I was staying before and came with the best technology and furniture. I should be happy, but I was worried . . . about the kid. I didn't feel that she fully understood the decision she had made. She sat with me that night and explained how she could just allow her mom to be with Jacob, but what happens when her hormones and her emotions change. What happens if she falls for Jacob and her mother won't let go? Ness wouldn't be able to live with that. She shouldn't have to live with that.

"Leah isn't this great!" Ness plopped down beside me on the couch.

"Yeah it's a really nice apartment, are you really okay with this? I would understand if you changed your mind, if we need to leave we can still leave." I said as I fully examined her expression. Her eyes widened momentarily and then she rolled her eyes.

"Leah, this is going to be fun!" She bounced up and down excitedly. "As for everything else . . . the chips will fall where they may, they were going to anyway. We are just pushing fate along a little bit." She said taking my hand and leading me through the rest of the apartment.

After a good hour of dealing with a hyper half leech and unpacking boxes. Carlisle, Esme, Edward, and Bella entered the apartment, which caused Ness' smile to quickly fade; she stood behind me and peeked at her mother only briefly. "What is she doing here? She's not part of the plan!" Ness whined.

"Ness don't whine you know what I think about whining." I reminded her.

"It's a waste of time." She murmured then touched my arm. _But I really don't want her here. I don't understand, she can't be living with us, can she?_ We both frowned and I shook my head. If Bella was staying here then I was getting the hell out. I wasn't stupid the lady leech wanted me dead and with good reason. I was after all part of the reason her marriage was going down the drain.

"Hello Leah," Carlisle greeted me with a small smile and Esme looked slightly disturbed by the kindness he showed me.

"Sup Cullen family . . . Ness say hi to everyone." I tried to side step so everyone could see her but she just moved with me.

"Hey," she murmured she was not happy by their presence here, she probably thought that they were going to find a way to take her back home, but I didn't get that vibe from them. They all seemed like they were on different accord with one another. Edward rolled his large suit case into the living room then sat on the couch, the girl quickly moved from me to her father nestling by his side.

"We just wanted to make sure a few ground rules are clear." Esme said her voice carrying it's normally sweet tone but her expression was very serious. "Ness will you go play in your room for a moment dear." Ness frowned, but did what was asked of her. Once Ness was out of what would be considered normal hearing range Carlisle began to speak.

"I'm sure Ness' has told you both what this is really all about?" Edward and I both nodded.

"Marriage is a very serious thing and shouldn't be entered into lightly. It should be given the chance to work, and should be considered sacred. Bella and Edward are married," Carlisle gave me a hard glare, "their vows should be respected."

"We are doing this for Renesmee to prove to her that she is wrong and that Edward did not make a mistake marrying her mother. Hopefully, she and Edward both will realize that he is in love with Bella . . . all marriages have rough patches they will get past it and move on." Esme said confidently placing her arm around Bella. I nodded in understanding maybe this was the reality dose that Cullen needed to realize that something between us would never work, we don't live the same lifestyle and we don't think the same, after a while we'd kill each other.

"I get what you are trying to do here and I agree that Bella and Edward need to work their shit out. Believe it or not I have not been trying to interfere with their marriage I came back to Forks for one reason and as soon as Alice comes back I will have it and I will be gone." Edward seemed shocked by what I had said.

"I'm not sure if I believe you dear. Your actions have not been but so honorable in the past." Esme said as she sat in front of Edward, "We are doing this for you too, we don't want you to live through eternity wondering what if Bella was the wrong choice, and we want you to know that you chose the woman you were meant to love for the rest of your life." Edward looked up at his estranged wife and she smiled at him with hope and sincerity.

"What if I don't come to the conclusion that you all think I will. What if Leah . . ." Esme interrupted him.

"That won't happen son, trust me I know what's best for you. And Leah you get a great opportunity working with some of the best doctors Carlisle has had the pleasure of working with so everybody wins in this scenario." She got up and intertwined her arm with Carlisle's arm.

"I guess that's it we should be going. Good luck on your assignment." Carlisle smiled and he and Esme left the apartment.

"Goodbye Edward," Bella leaned toward him and engaged him in a kiss so passionate that it made me want to barf. I wanted to tell her there was no need to put on a show for me and that I never planned to touch her husband in that way again, but I was afraid with my gag reflexes so high I might just barf in her face, which now that I think about would be kind of funny. "Hurry home." She caressed his cheek, and then followed after Carlisle and Esme; and we were left alone.

"I'm gonna go check on the kid," I left his presence mainly because I didn't want him searching through my mind right now because I wasn't sure where my mind was at. I just knew that I wanted to get away from him, and away from this place. It seemed like I was the villain to just about everyone I knew, I tired of being labeled that way. I was not the person I once was. Hell, even then I wasn't the villain I had went through a lot and I made a bad choice but who doesn't? The way I see it no one really gave me the time to heal and deal with everything I had been through, they just expected me to wake up, smile, and be happy for Sam and Emily, there was no way in hell I could do that. I think that if I could have let Sam go easily it would proved only one thing . . . that I never love him in the first place. I did love Sam with all of my heart. I will never love anyone that way again.

"Hey," Ness said looking up from the book she had unpacked and begun reading. Her eyes were full of concern and sympathy.

"So your hearings pretty good you caught all of that, you don't need a play by play?" I asked.

"No, I heard everything. Of course you know I think they are wrong about pretty much everything." I looked down it was weird how much the kids words meant to me, it sent that annoying pain through my chest again. "Leah, seriously they don't know about any of the things my mother has done so they can't be as objective as I can and I've seen my dad with you, they haven't. I know what love looks like." She gushed like a little school girl.

"Please stop using that word," I grimaced, "it's almost as bad as using profanity."

"You use profanity all the time Leah." She gave me a smug look, "besides there is nothing wrong with loving someone."

"Ness I'm serious don't say it again." I glared at her.

"Leah guess what?" She smiled and I knew exactly what she was going to do, "love, love, love, LOVE!" She laughed as she sang horribly off key.

"That's it you're one dead little vamp!" With that are pillow fight began, her high pitch squeals and laughter drew the attention of her father.

"Daddy help me!" She laughed as her attention diverted momentarily towards the door frame where he was standing.

"Don't you dare!" I laughed as I allowed the girl pop me upside the head again; I in turn flipped her upside down on the bed. "Daddy can't help you this time!" I went to hit her once more, when my pillow was snatched from my hands.

"Oh really?" Edward had cleverly taken both of our pillows. I went to run but he grabbed me and dropped me on the bed beside his daughter. Edward swung both pillows in the air and grinned devilishly he planned to get both of us. Ness was screaming with laughter and as much as I wanted to deny it I was having fun too . . . but I wasn't about to let Cullen get the best of me. I grabbed another pillow from Ness' bed and popped him right in the face.

"Right between the eyes Cullen take that!" I stuck my tongue out.

"You are in so much trouble. At first I was going to be nice, but now you're both dead!" He started to chase us around the apartment. Luckily for me I still had somewhat of an abnormal speed. We played and joked around until Ness fell unconscious on the couch. I wasn't far behind her in the sleep department. Being chased by a vampire is quite exhausting. Edward placed a blanket over his sleeping daughter then smiled at me contently. "You're going to have a bruise right here." He placed his finger in the middle of my forehead. "I wailed on you pretty hard." He laughed.

"Please Cullen you hit like a girl. Ness has a better arm than you." I shoved him. He rolled his suit case into my room.

"Do you mind if I share your closet space?" It looked like he was pretty intent on doing it anyway, so I shrugged him off with a whatever.

"Want me to help you unpack?" I said unzipping the front compartment of his suitcase.

"Actually I can handle it!" He placed his hand over mine stopping me from looking in his suitcase. He looked nervous like he had something horrible or at the very least embarrassing in it.

"Okay, now I gotta know what's in here!" I giggled, I surprisingly was able to move his hands and reach inside the compartment. It was lotion.

"Lotion? What's the big deal?" I looked at the bottle, "warms on contact . . .oh, ooooh" I tried not to laugh but failed horribly.

"It's no different than your ice pop vibrator!" He hissed slightly the smile sheepishly. "Matter of fact I have a proposition for you."

"Oh no Cullen, I'm not helping you use your warming lotion." I laughed harder.

"Leah stop! I want to make a bet." He had my attention I always loved the opportunity to prove I was better than Cullen.

"What's the bet?" I was curious what hehad up his sleeve.

"I bet . . . I can go longer without 'using lotion' than you can go without your 'ice buddy', can you handle that kind of challenge Clearwater?" He smiled seductively.

"Oh hell yeah . . . I mean just being around you is a total buzz kill. What will I get when I win?" I said placing my hands on my hips.

"Hmmm . . . if you win . . . I will be your personal slave for a day. I will have no choice but to do whatever you want. However, if I win you will have to do the same. . . can you deal with fulfilling my every wish and desire?" His voice took on that stupid tone that drove me insane.

"I won't have to worry about that because I won't be losing!" I said confidently.

"Oh Leah . . . one more thing," he wrapped me an embrace so tight that I was breathless, "I will not make this easy for you." He breathed each word in my ear causing just the affect he wanted; wet panties.

"Like I said . . . total buzz kill" I smiled darkly two could play this game.

The morning after sleeping on my new ostentatiously big mattress, I realized what a horrible mistake I had made making that stupid bet. There were too many ways Cullen could cheat. I mean in reality he doesn't need sleep, I do. I would go to sleep and he could have a field day doing . . . I don't even want to think about it. I had to admit it made me feel pretty good knowing that I wasn't the only one 'self- serving' but taking the bet was asking for trouble. One thing the two us had in common is we did not like losing. To him this was an open invitation for him to flirt with me, completely ruining our platonic vibe. I had to admit it was smart on his part but I couldn't allow it to actually happen.

"Forfeit, you couldn't last one night without . . . that's pretty sad Leah." He sent me a condescending look and I sent him a look of I don't care as I sat at kitchen counter devouring my Choc –o-Puffs.

"Please! I didn't even touch myself last night!" I raised my voice but then realized Ness was still sleeping, "I told you Cullen You. Are. A. Buzz. Kill. By definition that means you turn me off." I laughed knowing that I was completely full of shit but whatever, getting under Edward skin was always fun.

"Yeah . . . you do absolutely nothing for me either." He smirked, "matter of fact now that you are losing your abilities . . ." he spun me around, "it looks like you may be putting on a few pounds." He patted my stomach.

"Oh, you go to hell!" I shoved him. I hadn't gained any weight I was still as fit and awesome as ever, matter of fact my body was rocking.

"I'm already there since I'm living with you. I mean it's not even the fun you. It's Leah-lite, she's all talk but when it comes right down to it no action." He stared into my eyes in an attempt to throw me off my tangent.

"Oh no Cullen! I'm still me, I'm just smarter, the reality is as always if I took this stupid bet I would be at the disadvantage because you don't have to sleep. That's the only reason I'm forfeiting. I could most definitely outlast you. There's no question my mind I would have murdered you!" I huffed.

"Maybe you would have, but you didn't try so that means I win. You have to do what ever I want for a day." He looked at me seriously. "My _every_ wish and desire." He said wrapping his arms around my waist.

"Well . . . that's what I agreed to . . . but I know it won't have anything to do with sex because you think I'm getting fat!" I punched him in the shoulder and he laughed.

"Leah seriously you not even going to try? Where's the fun in that?" He pouted.

"Cullen pick your lip up off the floor it's not even cute." Another lie, he knew actually how he looked.

"So you have to do whatever I say today." He looked deep in thought as he placed me back in his arms, "whatever I say." He looked at my lips intently then placed the same trance on my eyes.

"Yeah . . . so what do you want?" I tried to sound nonchalant, but the amount of desire I had for him colored my vocal tone and as always he smirked arrogantly.

"You are going to date me for a day and do everything my girlfriend would do. Say nice things like a girlfriend would do . . . and kiss me like a girlfriend would do." He placed his lips on mine and I allowed him to deepen the kiss because I had to (not because it felt wonderful at all). He pressed me against the kitchen counter and allowed his tongue to slowly explore my mouth while his hands traveled the stretch of my rib cage.

"Do you like this?" He breathed before he began planting little wet kiss on the nape of my neck, I used to love when he did this, it always made my legs feel like they were going to give way, I place my hands on his shoulders to make sure I didn't fall forward. "Do you like the way this feels?"

"No," I shook my head, "as your girlfriend I feel I should be honest . . . this blows. You are not a very good kisser." I glared at him; he just smiled and kissed my neck again.

"Too bad . . . because I plan to do this a lot today."

"Great!" I groaned. The term out of the frying pan and into the fire came to mind. I had a feeling that today was going to be long and exhausting if I played by his rules . . . but every bet and every game has a loop hole and I was going to find one.

**A/N: Hey everyone! I don't know how I feel about this chapter. Part of me wondered who would have won the bet ya know lol! But I also wonder how far Edward will take this girlfriend for a day thing? The next chapter will be awesome I truly believe it will have a little of everything. Passion. Jealously. Anger. Angst and a Birthday party!**

**Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter and as always please review.**


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's Note: If I titled my chapters this one would be called The Crazy Hell That Consumed My Friend and I. I don't know why but that's what I thought of when I was finished. **

Chapter 8

My little loop hole was still asleep in her bed. I needed her to wake up if this was going to work. I planned to stick to Ness' side the whole day, I planned out a day of activities we could do and since Cullen wouldn't be slow enough to actually carry on this charade with his daughter present he would be forced to act normal . . . for the most part anyway. I sat in the recliner chair as she slept she was slowly waking, I could tell because her body was willing her mind to wake, with its constant tossing and turning. While she got herself together I wrote out a list of things we were going to do today, we'd hit an early movie, shop the mall, go laser tag, then hit Forks Fall Festival I hadn't been the festival since I was sixteen, since I was dating Sam. He won me this little green teddy bear and I named it Biggie because it was so small and I loved the irony. I smiled at the thought and then grabbed my chest, this acid reflex or whatever, was getting ridiculous I was going to have to change my diet since I was becoming human, because apparently my body couldn't process the junk food I loved to consume.

"Leah?" I heard the little groggy girl finally speak to me. "What's going on?" She rose to elbow and wiped her eye. Sometimes I couldn't help but smile at the kid for as grown as she acted sometimes it was overrode by the fact that she was still just a really cute kid.

"I was thinking we could spend the day together? Would you like that?" I said squatting on the floor beside her.

"All three of us?" The thought of Edward coming along didn't really set well with me but if that's what she wanted then I would deal. The reality was that as long as she was with us he would maintain more conservative mannerisms.

"If that's what you want kid." I said trying to smile at her, "Here's what I have planned." Just as I handed her the piece of paper I had wrote on I heard a knock on the door, which was great the more distractions the better.

"I'll get it!" I said way louder than I needed to as I raced to the door. Rose and Emmett stood at the door waiting to be let in. I couldn't read the expression on their faces; they seemed partially amused but mainly annoyed. "Hey Rose . . . Emmett." I still hadn't fully forgiven him for dropping me off the roof of their house. "What are y'all doing here?"

"They are here for that day full of fun with Renesmee." Edward smiled as he joined us making his annoying presence known.

"But I thought I was spending the day with you two." Ness pouted as she finally made her way into the living room.

"And you will be, but Leah and I have a small issue we have to deal with this morning, so Rose and Emmett are going to take you hunting first."

"Then they will meet us for the movie, laser tag, and other stuff." Rose added cheerfully coaxing the young girl; I was only confused for a second before figuring out how she knew about my plans, of course she would because of her thought stealing brother doesn't play fair. That's why I didn't take that stupid bet. "Leah, can I talk to you before we leave?" Rose and I walked outside for privacy.

"So I bet you are wondering what the hell is going on?" I said bluntly.

"Yeah, I am kind of wondering why my day in bed with my husband was canceled for babysitting duties . . . I mean I love Ness with all my heart but some things are needed." She grumbled, at least I knew where the annoyed look came from.

"I'm sorry Rose, but this is not my fault I took a stupid bet with Edward that after fully thinking about it would never have worked so I forfeited and now I'm stuck pretending to be his girlfriend for the day. I was going to use Ness' as a blocker for his advances but I guess that's why he called you so that he can try . . . whatever." I groaned. Rose's smirk turned into a full smile and I frowned at her.

"What? It is kind of hilarious Leah. The guy that you lov- like has to practically force you into involvement with him. You're becoming a prude . . . an ice queen." She laughed. It was weird being called that by someone that is colder than ice.

"Not hardly, I don't feel that way for Edward and if that Dean guy wasn't married I may have actually gone on a second date with him."

"His name was Dylan," she laughed then sobered, "and I'm sorry about that I owe you one."

"You do and you can pay me back today. Just don't leave my side today no matter what your mind manipulating brother says." I pleaded and she sighed.

"I will try my best but that's a tall order. Edward has a way of tricking you into doing something you wouldn't normally do. Why am I explaining that to you he already has you acting like you're his girlfriend?" She laughed as we entered the apartment again.

"I'm ready!" Ness announced, "and you promise me that you will meet me later." She looked me seriously worried I might strand her.

"I promise, to be honest I wish I didn't have to let you go now but you know how I feel about the whole 'hunting' thing." She nodded and smiled. Emmett, Rose, and Ness left the apartment leaving me alone yet again with my boyfriend for the day. "You know you could go with them I won't mind. I know how you fussy you get when you're thirsty." I laughed but I seriously wanted him to get out, I was hoping the temptation of blood would be enough to make him leave.

He sat on the couch and smiled his smug arrogant smile. "Will you have a seat with me Leah?"

"No problem." I dropped to the floor and sat where I was standing. I wasn't going to me make this easy for him.

"Right," he rolled his eyes as he made his way down to the floor. "You are so difficult!" He laughed and rubbed his thumb over my cheek I wanted to move away from his touch. I didn't want to think about how it felt, I didn't want to think about him period. I tried thinking about random things like foods I liked . . . macaroni and cheese, steak, and bacon cheeseburgers; once that failed horribly I decided I had to find an escape.

"Look, I have to get ready to meet Ness and there are a lot of things I have to do before I get dressed, for example . . . I need to wash the dishes, fix Ness' bed, and start a load of clothes, and shower so I don't have time for whatever stupid thing you are about to try." I said hoping that he would give up and just leave me alone.

"Those activities take no time at all, I will assist you," his hand still was on my face he moved closer making his intent known.

"Ummm . . . look isn't there anything else you want from me. There is bound to be some stupid random thing . . ." Two lips on mine interrupted my mini rant. Once I finally began to participate in the kiss, he laid me back on the carpet.

"I could think of a good hand full of things I want from you," his cool breath on my ear caused me to shiver, "but only if you want them too." He placed my hands around his neck and kissed me again this kiss was more invasive, Edward sugar sweet taste possessed my whole mouth and caused a hunger inside of me and my breathing to accelerate. When he attempted to break the kiss I instinctively forced him back into it, I could feel as the as the corners of his lips raised and continued to kiss me. After a few minutes, he lifted me scooping me up by the behind and carried me into my room. Sex was the first thing that came to my mind, I didn't want to do that . . . well I wanted to fuck him, of course I wanted that, but if I did it would make things so much harder.

"How many times must I tell you that I'm not having sex with you, not until you beg me for it, and maybe not even then." He laughed, "There are however a couple things that I miss." He said lowered his head over my breasts, he pulled the straps to my shirt down exposing them. His eyes widened like a kid in the toy store, I couldn't help but laugh. He grabbed both of my breasts squeezing them together and began vigorously sucking the hell out of my nipples. My back arched and I tried to muffle my moans, the cold chill of his touch heightened every sensation; it was like my body knew it was him and it felt like he deserved all of me. I gripped my legs tightly around him and I began to grind erratically, for lack of a better way to let out my frustration. He lifted his head and looked at me the darker hue of his eye carried a color similar to caramel, his smirk was delicious and evil, "I know, I know it feels good you want more, right?" I couldn't respond, I couldn't decide who I wanted to be, did I want to be the Leah that did the right thing or the Leah that was self serving and in this case got what she craved. After a few moments of obviously reading my thoughts he began licking a trail up and down my stomach as he did this he pulled my shorts down exposing my black lace panties. "I like these." He smiled as he caressed the fabric with his finger tips.

"Cullllleeeen . . ." I tried to communicate but obviously I was past the point of words, "pleeeeaase!" I moaned the throbbing was unbearable, I couldn't remember wanting him so intensely when we actually were fucking, his foreplay must have gotten a lot better. My body had taken on a mind of it's own as it continued to wiggle; he sat and watch as my puss wiggled and squirmed in his face. He pulled down the fabric of my panties only little slightly and licked the newly exposed area below my navel. I was panting and blowing like I was about to give birth or something, this was ridiculous nobody got the better of me this way. I was going to feel like shit once this was over.

"Why are you going to feel badly once this is over? You, after all, are my girlfriend and you are really doing nothing I'm doing all the work." He smirked as he moved the moist part of my panties to the side, "you most definitely can't say you don't want me." He laughed but sobered as he came closer to the part of me that ached so intensely. I gripped the sheets still not wanting to admit the level of my desire. He circled the area around my clit with his pointer finger and the gently pinched it, which caused me to gasp. "I can't decide whether to touch you or taste you." He whispered; I rose to my elbows and looked at him he really looked conflicted. His eyes caught mine, he pressed against my clit once more.

"Look, I don't care what you do but you have to do something!" I moaned.

"So you want me?" He sounded all innocent his annoying ass really liked screwing with me.

"I want sex!" I said in between breaths.

"From me," he parted my center and lowered his head to the area I desperately needed him to pleasure, "and only me forever and ever." I moaned as I continued to frown at him, pleasure shouldn't hurt so good. "Leah, promise me that you'll never want anyone as badly as you want me." He kissed my clit that he once pinched causing me to flinch from the coolness of his tongue. "Leah promise!"

"Ed . . .can't . . ." I tried to explain to him that couldn't make that kind of promise. Then all of a sudden he stopped.

"SHIT!" He yelled and then he ran into the bathroom. When he came back out he wore an annoyed look on his face. "I hate to ask you to do this . . . but I need you to get in the shower, Carlisle is coming he will smell all of this if you are in the shower I can blame it on . . ."

"You're gonna tell him I fucked myself! You bastard! By the way I'm on your breath he'll smell me there too!" I grabbed my shit and headed to the bathroom.

"I have a plan for that." He headed out the door and I headed toward the shower. I couldn't make sense of how I felt. I knew I was still sexually frustrated anyone with a brain would be. I felt like I was being played with. How dare he play with my heart? Not my heart I mean my body, my body was the only thing that Edward could possess he had control over nothing else. I hated feeling like some sort of hidden prostitute. I am a damned good woman and I should be with someone proud to be seen with me and proud to be fucking me. It was like I stepped back into time but as the me I am now, the sad thing was the even the me I am now would have given Edward what he wanted; the only difference was that I would feel bad about doing it. Another intense pain hit my chest I clenched my teeth and suffered through it, this one was so powerful that the only way to describe it is that it was like I swallowed fire.

After the pain subsided I toweled off and dressed quickly I was getting the hell out of this apartment and this arrangement, everyone involved could kiss my ass. Carlisle was still there when I dropped my suitcase on the living room floor. They both looked at me as if I was an alien.

"Leah nice to" Carlisle started to speak but I interrupted him.

"Bite it Carlisle, I don't have time to be fake or stupid right now." I said as I returned to my room to pack more stuff. I heard as Carlisle excused himself and Edward followed me into the room.

"Leah what are you doing?" He said but I could tell he had asked only to make me think of the reason that caused the packing.

"I'm not doing this shit with you ever again!" I said as I slid the second suitcase into the floor.

"Leah stop!" He said as he tried to grab my shoulders.

"Don't fucking touch me!" I screamed at him much like a three year old would scream at their mother before they were getting ready to cry. I just wanted to make my point clear. I didn't want or need the stress of anything to do with Edward Cullen. The clouds grew in the sky and were quickly followed by insanely loud thunder, "great it looks like I'm going to be moving in the rain." I grumbled.

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I never want to hurt you." He whispered as he began to help me move my clothing from the closet into the suitcase. "I just wish you'd reconsider for Ness' sake, she was really looking forward to this." He murmured and I grabbed my chest again everything was just too much.

"I just want to be left alone, take your kid back to your wife and live your perfect fucking life and do like I asked and forget about me because until I came back here I had completely forgotten about you!" I glared at him; the only thing that competed with the emotions I was feeling was the thunderous roar outside. It was almost as if the sky felt sorry for me as it opened up and tiny raindrops began to stick to the window. I went to leave the room.

"Leah . . . we had a deal that you are supposed fulfill my every wish and desire today."

"Like I give a shit about that now!" I rolled my eyes.

"Well my request has changed. I just want you to stay." His eyes were filled with sincerity. "Ness would be hurt . . . I would be hurt if you left." He went to touch me and the decided against it. "Please I am begging you Leah. I get it now we will never have anything ever again. We will just be two people sharing a space. I won't bother you."

"For Ness . . . I'll stay and that's only because I don't' want to leave her it has nothing to do with you." I hissed.

"I understand."

I pushed my suitcases back into my room I decided not to unpack I didn't know when I may need to exit quickly. Edward sat lifelessly on the couch obviously pitying himself, I didn't have the time or the desire to make him feel better but one promise I had made to Ness rang in my head. "Are you going to get dressed I asked him?"

"What for?" He voice was quiet and uneasy.

"We promised to meet Ness, Rose, and Emmett," I said casually, "and here I thought vampires were supposed to be smart." I smiled a little and he smiled back.

"I'm not smart, I'm an idiot, Leah . . ." He went to apologize again but I didn't want to here it, there has been way too much drama today.

"Look let's just forget about everything okay. I'm highly explosive even though I didn't over exaggerate, I shouldn't have screamed at you." I murmured and then sighed. "So we're good?" He nodded slowly still full of annoying self pity.

"So the stupid deal is off and I missed out on a day of sex with my husband for nothing!" Rose said as she glared at me.

* * *

"Yep, again sorry about that." I shrugged, we had met up with them at the Festival, Edward and my falling out had taken up the duration of the day and the sun had just fell and the night began. I walked with Rose as I ate my funnel cake drizzled in chocolate.

"Something's different between you two," Rose commented, "are you okay? I mean you two are still on talking terms?" She was intently watching my expression.

"Yeah, I made sure we were okay before we left." I said even though we had just had an intense morning and afternoon, I thought that Edward and me were good, we just had a more realistic view of our involvement.

"It's just that he won't stop looking at you . . . every five seconds he looks at you like he's about to lose or has lost his best friend." We both looked over at him like he had lost his mind. "Are you still friends? If so you might want to tell him that." I started to walk over to Edward I didn't know what I was going to say except that I didn't _hate _him and we can still be social.

"Leah!" Ness jumped in front of me, "the tilt-a-world is awesome! I was in there for like thirty minutes. Come on I want to go back!" She pulled my arm, "and daddy you too!" We pulled the small fun house. "Come on!" She squealed as we were pulled inside. She went running through the house as I stepped in I saw the funny mirror that makes your image all distorted I made a couple of faces and laughed, they hadn't changed anything in almost a decade. I walked through the house and Edward stayed behind me. I stopped for a minute and then walk backward bumping into him trying to be funny. He frowned at me confused by my behavior as usual so I decided to try another tactic.

"God, how did I end up with such a weird boyfriend like you?" I grumbled at him as I took his hand, "after this you have to win me something special because you promised." I smiled sweetly at him giving him a dose of what he wanted earlier it was my way of burying the hatchet and partly because I just wanted him to walk beside me.

"I don't know what to say?" He looked down at our hands together.

"Say that you'll keep your word and win me a prize." We walked through some more of the fun house and I pretended to be afraid of the things I was supposed to be afraid of. I was pretty good actress after tonight I would have to reevaluate my calling.

"Leah you didn't have to do this," he said raising our hands, "you don't have to pretend to be my girlfriend."

"I think I do. I mean you're always going to wonder what it would be like and you tried to give yourself that experience. Things just got a little . . . thrown off." He shook his head he was going to be stubborn because he felt that he had done me some horrible injustice, but seriously if I had let if go then he should too.

"Leah . . ."

"God if you call my name one more time today I'm changing my name!" I huffed but still carried a smile. We walked the last hallway this part of the house was new, everything in the area seemed normal. "I don't get it. What's supposed to happen?" I looked and Cullen who shrugged his shoulders. We began to walk again and then the hall tilted sliding us into the wall, Edward was pressed up against me and for the first time he honestly seemed uncomfortable being in that position so I laughed at him the kissed him . . . on the cheek. He smiled and the wrapped his arms around my waist.

"I've been reading the kids' minds, the wall is going to open up and we are going to fall onto the cushion on the other side." He whispered.

"Thanks for the heads up." As soon as I spoke the wall did as he said it would and he ended up right on top of me. We both laughed for a second he quickly stood up and extended his hand to me.

"Okay now, about my prizes!"

* * *

We stayed at the Festival until it ended. I came home with a huge gray wolf that I decided to Tiny and again I loved the irony.

"Can I keep Tiny in my room?" Ness asked. The girl was never satisfied even though her father had won her a huge bag of stuff animals she wanted mine too.

"Sure kid why not, make sure to take care of her!" I said giving the kid the stuffed animal and she smiled at me.

"I had a great day!" She smiled, "Only . . . I wished you had been apart of more of it." She hugged me.

"Well you don't have to go to bed yet. We could watch a movie and talk some." I smiled as I played with her curly bronzed hair.

"All three of us?" Her eyes widened.

"All three of us." I said not giving it a second thought. The girl ran into her room to put her stuff away. "Oh Cullen, sorry I didn't ask if you felt like watching a movie. You don't mind do you?"

"No of course not." He smiled, "Want some popcorn?"

"You're gonna make me popcorn?" I sat at the counter stool grinning at him.

"Yeah I'm pretty sure I can operate a microwave . . . I mean you can do it and it's not like you're overly intelligent or anything." We both laughed.

"We need a new joke!" I laughed as I watched him move in the kitchen. Edward is beautiful, the thought went through my mind so easily, he had so many features that would make me consider him beautiful, and it's not just based on appearance, his spirit, his personality all things that I would want 'the one' to possess. I sighed and he turned to me as if he wanted to say something and then decided against it. Damn it! My thoughts that's one thing I wouldn't mind if 'the one' went without, mind raping abilities.

"I'll have to come up with one," he said placing the popcorn on the counter, "you'll probably need more than that because Ness loves this stuff. It's weird as a baby she couldn't stand human food now she eats as much of that as she does hunt."

"That's probably because you were all trying to feed her baby food and baby food tastes like shit!" I laughed.

"Popcorn!" Ness popped out of nowhere and snatched the bowl out of my hands. "What movie are we watching?" She said sitting in the middle of couch.

"What do you want to watch?" I knew exactly what she was going to say.

"Underworld!" She ran to my room and grabbed the DVD and quickly, inserted, and started the movie.

"Underworld? Seriously, I didn't know you like these types of movies sweetheart." Edward spoke softly but I could tell he really didn't want to see it.

"I like the action and the werewolves look so evil!" She squealed, I arched my eyebrow at her.

"Leah, you're not evil!" She rolled her eyes, "Everything about this movie is so inaccurate that's what makes it so amusing." She smiled.

"Inaccurate by your standard of knowing there could be a whole other breed of vampire that acts this way. Just like there are other tribes that shift into different forms and then there are the children of the moon." Edward and the girl looked at me.

"Leah I seriously believe there's only one form of vampire." She countered.

"I . . ." I was going to let it go, "you're probably right." I ruffled the girl's' hair as she sat close beside me. Edward stood at the kitchen counter watching us.

"Edward I know you don't have to sit to be comfortable but in this situation, you should sit." He still looked hesitant.

"Yeah daddy sit by me." The girl spoke but never allowed her eyes to leave the screen no matter how many times she had seen the movie she always became consumed by it. I felt as Edward's weight shifted the couched and a small twinge of awkward went through my spine. I had seen the movie as many times as Ness had so my mind began to wonder back to this morning. I usually don't rethink my emotions but maybe I overreacted just a little. I knew that I didn't want Edward to be ashamed of me and if I touched him ever again I would want to be able to do it in public which meant . . . what did that mean? That he could never touch me again.

"She's past out," he whispered, "and right before the big fight scene." He looked at me with a smile. "I'm going to put her to bed."

"Okay."

When he came back the credits were rolling. "That took a while." I said for lack of anything else to say.

"I wasn't sure if you wanted me to come back. I want to tell you again I am sorry I made you feel bad today, it wasn't my intention." He sat on the far edge of the couch.

"I know Cullen," I crawled over to him and sat in his lap, "it's cool. We're good remember?" I smiled as I played with his hands.

"Yeah." He smiled, "I remember." I ran my hand along the side of his face and enjoyed the feel of our closeness. I shifted so that he was pretty much cradling me like a baby.

"In the end the day was good. I had fun at the festival." I said making small talk.

"Oh by the way," he pulled something out of his pocket, "I won this for you too. It's a mood ring." He slid it on my ring finger.

"Wow shiny," I laughed sarcastically, "it's green what does that mean?" I frowned at it on my finger.

"It means happy . . . I think." He smiled as he moved my hair to the side so he could see my face better.

"Then I like green and . . . I like you." I hugged him allowing myself to linger in his arms. Tomorrow it will all be over and I wouldn't be able to touch him this way.

"I'm pretty sure you can hug a friend," he said thoughtfully, "are we friends?" He released me and watched my face for the answer.

"Honestly I don't know if I could even begin to put a label on what we are, but being your friend would work for me." I smirked.

"I like you more than well enough to be your friend." He sighed and repositioned me again.

"I know you like me as much as a fat kid loves cake, as much as peanut butter likes jelly . . . as much as you love warming lotion." I laughed and he shook his head at me.

"As much as the normal vampire likes blood." He stated seriously.

"That's a lot of liking." I smiled and sighed. It was pretty much like he was saying that he liked me more than what keeps him alive, more than what keeps him strong. "I can't say I like you quite that much there is still a lot I don't know about you. I mean I've known you for years but I don't really _know_ you."

"Well then we should play a game to get to know each other better." He smiled. "My best friend should know all there is to know about me."

"You and your games Cullen we always end up in a bad place." I said hesitantly.

"If you're scared . . ." He said dismissing the proposition.

"I'm not scared of anything, I being cautious for the sake of our new and improved friendship. I don't want to have to rip your head off." I laughed as did he.

"A human rip a vampire's head off, now that I'd like to see."

"We don't know if I'm completely human yet." I placed my head on his chest and yawned we were both quiet for a moment while he rubbed my back.

"I hope you're not." He smiled at me.

"Me too." I murmured as I got closer to him.

"Now for the game, think of 20 questions you want to ask me about anything and I'll have no choice but to answer." He smiled.

"Edward you'll be lucky if I can think of one question to ask you." I was getting tired, I yawned again.

"I'm not ready for you to fall asleep yet Leah." He grumbled as he shook me slightly. "Come on you can give me at least another hour." He pouted.

"I'll try but I'm going to only ask 10 questions at the most." I said sitting upright and yawning in his face.

"Whatever works." He was smiling way too bright for it to be 1:00AM.

"Okay first question . . . what's your favorite color?" I asked randomly I didn't like being put on the spot and I was half tired it was annoying trying to think of things I didn't already know about Edward.

"It used to be blue but lately I've found myself favoring green." He picked up my right hand and looked at the mood ring again, "yeah green is pretty amazing." He made eye contact with me and it made me uneasy and eager to jump into the next question.

"This is weird but . . . what's your middle name?" I asked because I seriously didn't know.

"Anthony, and your right that was weird almost a waste of a question really." He laughed and I shoved him.

"It wasn't wasteful, I really don't know that much about your past. I don't know much about you when you were human, like what color were your eyes and was your hair really bronze." I looked at him and I never seen the expression he wore on his face before.

"Is that one or two questions." He quickly brought himself into a lighter mood.

"I think you should let it count as one." I said playfully.

"My eye color was green my hair was the same color but when you turn the color kind of intensifies a bit." He smiled.

"What's your favorite story right now? I know you've read millions and positioning changes so what do you like right now?" I was actually getting into this knowing the lighter things about Edward made him more real.

"I've been favoring Taming the Shrew for the past month or so." I shoved him again. "What?" He said innocently.

"I know what that's supposed to mean and by the way you're a jerk!" I rolled my eyes. "Next question, if you could dream what would you want to dream about?" He sighed and placed his hand on my face.

"I don't think you really want a truthful answer to that question." I inhaled deeply then nodded in understanding.

"Okay, fine . . . who's your favorite super villain?" I asked.

"The Joker from Batman or Freddy Kruger because they are both funny and odd."

"I agree but I wouldn't really called Kruger a villain he's more of a monster."

"Whatever evil is evil." He laughed as he continued to rub my back this was the first time we had been connected for so long without having sex, I had to admit it was nice. The affection he gave me made me feel warm and kind of girlie, most definitely emotions that I normally discarded. Why would Bella jeopardize a connection with a guy as great as Edward? Thinking about Bella made one question come to mind that I wanted answered and there was no better time than the present.

"Edward . . . I have one more question it can count for the rest of my questions because I'm too tired to think of anymore . . . what caused the gap between you and Bella and do you think it can be fixed?" I held my breath as I waited for him to answer. I don't know why it was so important to me his answer didn't have anything to do with me necessarily.

"When Bella changed her personality began to change. It was hard for me to tell at first with us caring for Ness so much, but when we had the opportunity to be around each other the conversations that we had were so dull and generic. Honestly, I could have lived with that and still loved or at least liked her, but she began to wander at night she blamed it on blood lust. I don't know our interest just began to differ." He stared into space wearing a frown the focused back on me, "I honestly doubt it can be fixed, her attraction to me now is based on the fact that she doesn't want me with anyone else . . . she doesn't want me with you."

"Oh . . . okay." Was all I said I didn't want to talk about Bella anymore I didn't want him to be thinking of her when he was with me.

"Well I guess it's my turn." Edward smiled devilishly.

"Your turn for what? I never said you could ask me anything ," he just glared at me pitifully, "Edward . . .no it's so late." I yawned I was exhausted.

"If I don't ask today I may never get the opportunity again. Plus, today is still _my_ day." He smirked.

"Fine whatever let's do this thing." I said repositioning myself to instead of him holding me I was positioned between his legs with my back against his chest. Again Edward made an amazing cushion and it wasn't because he was soft, he was hard as cement it was just the smooth feel of him. After a few minutes of picking at my fingers he began his line of question.

"What's _your_ favorite color?" We both laughed. He wasn't very original.

"I'm honestly really fond of red . . . dark red when I was little I used to love the color." I smirked.

"What's your middle name?"

"I don't have one . . . does that bother you." I laughed and then pretended to be serious. "If that's a deal breaker and we can no longer be friends you must tell me now I would not want you to be uncomfortable." I gave him my best over the top voice and he just rolled his eyes.

"I think I'll survive," he sighed playing along, "although I may never see you the same again." He laughed. "But back to the game what's your favorite memory or dream?"

"You pulled out the big guns with that one Cullen," I debated if I was really going to be honest with him. "My favorite memory . . . when I was younger for my birthday me and my dad would sneak away to our place which is now known as Leah Land he would give me my secret birthday gift. That's still really special to me."

"He really loved you." Edward mused.

"More than anybody else on this Earth . . . or so he said anyway." A tight pain hit my chest that breathing to become difficult. "I don't want think about it."

"Okay new question I asking this solely to annoy you . . . what drew you to Sam?" He asked and smirked.

"Mission accomplished I'm annoyed can we move on." I huffed all the personal questions made were making me a little uptight.

"The questions have to be personal Leah that's how I get to know you. You can tell me what you find so appealing about Sam." He said I he rubbed the length of my arms.

"Sam has a lot of the characteristics my dad had. He's smart, bold, strong, and he used to be funny. He used to tell me . . . nothing Sam used to be different but I guess he's change too." Memories of Sam and me went through my mind and they stung my chest, "It just broke so quickly you know. One day and the man I planned to marry didn't love me anymore, he was in love my cousin who was someone I considered my sister. They wanted me to understand and be happy for them. I really should be thinking about this either."

"Because you still love him?" Edward whispered sadly.

"I don't love anyone right now . . . when I think about what happened it still hurts. I don't want to hurt like that ever again." I wrapped Edward's arms around me, I wanted to feel safe and distracted from the ill feeling that was taking me over.

"Question number . . . you know I have no idea what number I'm on," he laughed, "I guess it doesn't matter does it." I shook my head and smiled trying to lift my spirits and not ruin our good time.

"What makes you happy Leah? What makes you smile?" He said moving my hair once more so that he could clearly see my face.

"Right now . . . Ness makes me smile a lot. I don't think I could honestly deny her anything . . . without good reason. She loves me regardless of what she knows about me."

"Yeah my daughter is pretty awesome." He laughed, "I'm glad I'm sort of connected to something that makes you happy." I smiled, but the reality was when Alice comes back, I'll have to leave becoming so connected to Ness is a mistake I will eventually end up leaving and hurting her.

"You don't have to leave just because Alice . . ."

"Cullen, I don't want to think about that. Not tonight okay." I turned so I was facing him and ran my hand along the side of his face he closed his eyes and his jaw line tightened.

"One more question but you don't have to answer if you don't want to."

"Okay." I said hesitantly I hoping that his question wouldn't make things odd between us.

"Two years ago what do you think made us do what we did? What made us slip into this beautiful hell?" He had to say things all pretty.

"Honestly, I don't know about you but I think I was trying to hurt myself. I was still raw about Sam. I knew I was attracted to you and I thought that being with a vampire would be exciting and dangerous. Part of me wanted to stick it to Bella, I don't know why I just don't like her." I spoke the truth, that's how I felt in the beginning. I watched his face he was hoping for some sort of romantic confession but I couldn't give him one but I could give him more honesty. "Cullen, what I felt then and what I feel now is completely different. Everyday what I feel for you changes, it makes it kind of hard to pinpoint what I feel exactly. I know I like you and I want you to be my friend that feeling grows stronger every time we talk, but that's all I really know."

"A strong liking towards me . . . I'll take that." He smirked and squeezed me tighter.

* * *

_**Author's Note**_

_**Okay, first I didn't get to the Birthday Party part. It will be in the next chapter that and more. I'm so close to the important part I can taste it! I hope you liked this chapter it was kind of long and the emotions bounced back and forth a bit, but I think in a real friendship that kind of happens anyway. Oh, and also I know that Bella and Edward sort of have a question session similair to this in Twilight but I thought it was necessary for Edward and Leah to get to know each other. As always read and review.**_


	9. Chapter 9

Prelude to Chapter 9

Edward's POV – Memories and Warming Lotion

Leah felt asleep in my arms, it was the perfect way to end 'my day', she always hated when I watched her sleep but in this situation I had no choice did I. Every now and then she would sigh and shift a little. I grabbed her hand and looked at the mood ring I placed on her finger.

"Blue . . .relaxed peaceful, I'm glad I can give you peace Leah." I whispered as I stroked her long black hair. It was so soft everything about her now was softer, yet unlike with Bella I wasn't afraid I was going to break her . . .physically. "I should put you in your bed but I don't want to. I want you to stay here with me."

I wanted more than that from her. I wanted a confession a straight answer regarding her feelings for me. I needed to know her feelings first because I would be devastated if I confessed to loving her and she didn't truly feel the same. Tonight she told me she was unsure about her feelings, I guess that's a step up from what she keeps telling everybody else, she tells them it's not like that between Cullen and me, I've heard her say it several times and each time it kills me. It would kill me to know that I'm merely a sexual impulse to her and nothing more.

However, part of me is positive that she is feeling more than even she will admit to herself. I heard her thoughts while she was in the shower, matter of fact they rang loudly in my head. She hated that I had treated her like a secret but that's not how I viewed my actions. I didn't want Carlisle to see either of us that way, I see Carlisle as a father figure and who would want to be caught doing what I was about to Leah by a parental figure. Not only that, it would have turned into a long 'conversation' that I didn't want to have. The way I had it figured the quicker I could get back to Leah the better, but since she didn't understand the whole tone of the day changed. There was also something else she thought that intrigued me, she briefly thought about if we were ever to be with together again she would want to be us to be able to be seen in public together which would mean that she would want a relationship. I knew that I wanted that more than anything.

I've been carrying divorce papers around for a little under a year now. I told myself I would wait until Renesmee was grown and then we would have to part ways. I just didn't want the girl to grow up without her mother or without me because the reality was that I wouldn't be able to live under the same roof with Bella once the papers were issued. I didn't know if we could effectively stay in the same coven but I did realize that there was no way I was going to be able to live through eternity with her. I figured once Renesmee was grown she could make her own decision as to who she wanted to stay with. Alice and the others would just have to adjust or we would just have to split but this time I wasn't going to be forced into anything, I knew what I wanted.

Then Leah came back and everything changed. I wanted her and at first I thought it could be like before but as soon as I heard her new way of thinking I knew she wasn't the same. The more I talk to this Leah the more I like her, the best way to describe her is that she is feisty yet sane. Then there's this crazy connection between her and my daughter, my daughter has pretty much adopted Leah as her mother and expects motherly things from her and Leah gives them to her willingly. To be honest, I'm a little jealous of how easily Renesmee acquired Leah's love and affection.

_Edward no we can't! _She was dreaming about this morning. It was always a little awkward to watch when she had inappropriate thoughts about me, I usually would try to divert my focus else where just so that she would have her deserved privacy. It also was a little frustrating that in her subconscious she gives in to what she wants but she wouldn't admit to anything.

_We can and we will. _I watched as the dream version of me engaged her in a kiss and her body went limp giving into everything he requested of her. I watched as he slid her panties off and entered her slippery delicious center. He began to have sex with her but something about this was different from the many times we had been together.

_Not right_. She thought inadvertently agreeing with my thoughts. She groaned slightly then shifted in my arms. After she shifted to a comfortable position I focused back in on her thoughts.

_Tell me, tell what I want to hear_. He said as he tended to her body's needs. I've never been so jealous of a figment of someone's imagination. He gripped the woman of my desire by the waist with one hand and the other was buried in her dark locks and he continued to grind deeper and deeper into her center. Her breathing was erratic and eyes were glazed over from the high the dream me was delivering.

_Edward . . .I . . . can't don't make me_. Moaned as she arched her back the imposture took one of her nipples into his mouth and sucked on it gently as he squeezed the other breast at the same time. After a few minutes he looked up at her and her dark brown eyes stared back at him. They were so connected and their eye contact was intense; we used to be that way towards the end. I used to love watching her face as she finally came it was a beautiful medley of pleasure, pain, and the loss of senses.

He shifted her body upward, just as I used to do, so that he could go even deeper. He slammed into her a little rougher than his regular pace and pulled her hair gently, she out a low growl of appreciation followed uncontrolled groans and moans of release. He felt her hard fast heartbeat as it pressed against his empty chest.

_Edward_. She whispered as came down from her fake high, with this fake me. Her heartbeat began to slow, her body went limp, as she closed her eyes with a satisfied grin upon her face. He lay to her side now holding her from behind.

_Do you love me now Leah_? He asked as he waited for a response so did I. Unfortunately for both of us she awakened only briefly, her groggy eyes looked into mine, and then she crashed again. I lifted her and took her to her room. I watched as she positioned herself under the covers. Leah's body was beautiful not only in the way it looked but how she moved she was very graceful, but rough when she had to be. After I ensured that she was content I grabbed my lotion and headed to bathroom for a moment of release. I hated some fictional character in Leah's mind got everything that I have been craving since her return. Watching her thoughts of course excited me, I was fully erect by the time her stupid little dream was over. To be fair, anytime I saw an obscene amount of Leah's skin I became excited. That's why I said she had the unfair advantage of sleeping, at least she got to be with me in her dreams, all I'm left with is memories and warming lotion.

* * *

Chapter 9

Working with Dr. Moore is a lot easier than Anatomy class; the work they have been giving us to do is quite mindless. Cullen and I have finished updating all of her patients to the new system and really nothing to do during the day anymore. When they do find something random for us to do we always make it a competition. Dr. Moore's assistant Tammy decided that we could put together new information folders for their new incoming patients this week. They had about fifty Edward and I split right down the middle.

"If you give me a little more then we'll both be done at the same time." Edward said reaching over to my stack of folders.

"Are you trying to say that you're faster than me? Don't answer I know exactly what you're trying to say. Edward, don't hate because I'm just as fast as and more awesome than you." I rolled my eyes at him.

"It is physically impossible for you to be faster than me." He countered he decided to used to computer right beside mine. Lately he had be keeping his distance I wasn't really sure why but I noticed he was be cautious of how and when he touched me.

"I didn't say faster I said as fast as," I shoved him, "I swear Cullen it's like you're not listening to me at all." I laughed.

"You're right most of the time I just tune you out." He smirked at his computer screen.

"Ass!" I stuck my tongue out at him.

"No middle name freak!" He laughed as he spoke he could barely get the insult out.

"I told you not to talk about that it's a very sensitive subject for me." I fake cried, "So you finished or what?" I said as I looked over at him confidently there was no way he could be finished he hadn't even been typing while he talking like I was.

"I've been waiting for you," he stood up and extended his hand for me to take, instead I placed my files in his hand, "so you want to head to lunch I'm starved." He said each word drenched in sarcasm.

"Yeah I could eat." After the festival he was always sure to walk by my side and not behind me. I was appreciative that he wasn't acting like a stalker anymore but when he was by my side the urge to touch him always got the better of me. This time I tugged on his shirt.

"What?" he asked, he removed his hands from his pockets.

"Nothing, something was on your shirt, it's gone now you can thank me." I said as I cleverly put my hand in his I pulled him out of the hospital to the picnic table we normally sat at. He sat on the table while I ate and stared into space. He always had a way of just pausing in the middle of right in the middle of our conversations, usually when he was ease dropping on someone. Personally I loved it, it made getting sneak attack on him all the easier.

"Oww, Leah . . . talk with your mouth not your fists!" He said taking my hands in his, "Are finished with this." He said grabbing the rest of my sandwich he balled it up and threw it in the trash can on the other side of the parking lot.

"I didn't say I was finished you jerk!" I punched his shoulder again.

"OWW!" He rubbed his shoulder the grinned playfully, "Leah you some say people take on a violent and volatile behaviorism when they are sexually stimulated or sexually deprived do you believe that's true?" He smirked.

"Why ask me?" I huffed and moved away from him, I hadn't realized my proximity I was practically all over him.

"I noticed that you have been using ice pop lover lately . . . or at all since we been at the apartment." He looked down at the cup of ice he was holding. I liked for him to hold my drinks being that he is my own personal living-sorta breathing freezer.

"I don't like doing that when the kid is around . . . or when you are around for that matter and one or both of you are always there so . . . I don't do it." I said taking a piece of ice out of the cup and began munching on it.

"How about I take Ness with me the next time I go hunting so that you can have some personal time? I will try anything to stop the abuse towards me." He laughed.

"Shut up Cullen!" I said getting in his face. "You know you like it when I punch you else wise you wouldn't let it happen." I shoved him again.

"I'm just being a gentleman." His grew warmer and wider. "I wouldn't want to hurt you." I hadn't notice until that very minute that we had begun whispering to each other. I hated when I got like this. He was right lately I had to try really hard not to touch him and touching him was the least of my concern. One night I desired him so badly I almost went out into the living room and attempted to seduce him, I mean I had gotten out of the bed and taken all my clothes off I was that close to making a huge mistake. Then there were the dreams I'd been having lately. Everyone of them felt so real and I would live them out right until I hit the climax and then I would wake up in a cold sweat it seemed like even if was just in my head I couldn't fully enjoy a sexual experience . . . and I desperately needed a fulfilling sexual experience.

"Well thank you for you kindness good sir." I said mockingly as I attempted to move away from him again.

Once we came from lunch Carlisle was waiting for us in the lobby of Dr. Moore's office. He smiled his warm welcoming smile. "You two will be working with me for the rest of the day."

He motioned with us to follow him. Once in the elevator he looked at both of us he stood on one side of the other and Edward stood by me on the other side. "Dr. Moore speaks nothing but praises toward both of you. Since you two finished her files so quickly I figured you could work on mine, I only have a few left and then I may send one of you up to help Constance and Dani and the other down to ER."

We got down to Carlisle's office and we both watching him as he found his files there probably about sixty or so left. He plopped them on the next but then began looking for something else.

"Son, can you run back up to Dr. Moore's office I believe I left my list of omits up there." Edward gave me hesitant glance.

"Go Edo, be a good little boy and do what daddy says." I smirked at him. I was sure that Carlisle wasn't going to kill me in the short period the Edward would be gone.

After Edward left Carlisle sat at his desk and began to work he acted as though he had completely forgotten about my presence. I was about to walk into the lobby maybe hit a vending machine I wasn't much for awkward silences.

"Leah, have a seat will you?" He said finally looking up from his million and one papers.

"Surrre." I said plopping down in the seat across from him.

"I've heard many good things about you from all of Dr. Moore's staff. I've even witnessed your behavior with some of the patients in the hospital, I truly think you will make a great nurse or doctor if that's what you choose." He smiled calmly at me.

"Thanks Carlisle." I knew my stare was probably awkward it was because I waiting for the other shoe to drop. There was a reason he had sent Edward away. He wanted to warn me or threaten me about something.

"I've also noticed you with Edward. Ness was right I had never seen the two you together. I have been too quickly to dismiss whatever it is between you two." I groaned I didn't want someone else on my back to make a move with Edward, to me we were in a good place I could talk to him about almost anything and we made each other happy. I did not plan to ruin that.

"Carlisle you were right and you were wrong. Right, because it was wrong of Edward and I to do what we did years ago. Wrong, because I'm not trying to be with him now and I'm not trying to ruin his life." I sighed and held my head.

"Are you saying that Edward being with you would ruin his life?" Carlisle was confused. "Why would you insult yourself that way? I think that you make a great addition to anyone's family." Carlisle shifted some of his papers, "you would constantly keep them on their toes that for sure."

"Yeah I do tend to liven up an area." I laughed.

"You love him." Carlisle said.

"No I don't . . . not that way." I met his stare. What was with the Cullen household and this stupid word?

"It wasn't a question. I've been alive for hundreds of years I think I know what love looks like. When you are ready to admit it, come see me, you two will have a lot of obstacles, I would like to offer my services."

"Why do you want to help us? Just a couple weeks ago you hated me?" I countered.

"I was wrong about you and so is my wife. I don't really like misjudging people, so to make it up to you I will handle anyone in my family that opposes to your union . . . if you decide to follow your heart. If you don't I will make sure that you get the best education and get the job you desire and either way I will make sure that you don't have to move, Alice can be easily handled I assure you." I nodded and noticed the familiar scent travel through the office. Edward handed Carlisle his papers.

"Thank you son,"he stood and showed us to the door, "you two can use the two empty admission computers over there and then find me when you're finished." Edward watched me as I put the files down, he frowned intently.

"What Cullen can't you just ask me what you want to know like a normal person?" I glared at him.

"Come with me." We ended up in some medical closet. We stood there for a moment and I will openly admit I was confused as to what the hell was going on.

"Oh God, Cullen you're not gonna kill me are you? I mean I was actually starting to like you." I whispered.

"Shut up Leah!" He whispered back his tone was serious so I stopped playing. "I don't understand after what Carlisle said to you, you still don't want to be with me?" He seemed hurt I hated when he looked this way.

"There are things that Carlisle doesn't know about . . . like Bella and Jacob! That was why you were staying with Bella in the first place remember?" I rolled my eyes.

"Leah that excuse is weak. I need you to know that . . . shit someone's coming." He pulled me out of the closet and we went back to work. Thankfully he didn't bring up again until we left the hospital. We were in front of his parents house, usually he would go in grab Ness so that we could leave but today he parked and locked the doors. I looked at him as if he had lost his mind.

"Leah . . ." He started.

"No, no no NO!" I didn't want to have the discussion. I unlocked the door and he locked back before I could step out of the car. "Edward leave it the hell alone." I glared at him and he glared back it was never good when we both passionate about something and didn't agree on the outcome. "I mean seriously Edward," I said softly, "aren't you happy . . . we've never been so close." He nodded in understanding, then quickly leaned in closely pressing majority of his body weight against me keeping me wiggling away from him. His lips were a breath away from mine and stared at my mouth as if he were held in a trance by it.

"Leah what we are both experiencing now is not happiness it's contentment. I am content to be around you and engage in any type of involvement with you, but I would be truly happy to be kissing you to be inside you." He shifted closer so that I could feel his desire. It wasn't fair of him to attack me this way after the conversation we had this morning he knew that I was horny for him to pull this shit is low. "I'm not pulling anything I'm just telling you how I feel as your friend I should be able to do that. Shouldn't I?" He countered confident he was right. I just wanted him to move just a little so that I could think with my head and not my libido. I wanted him so badly, I would hate for Ness to come out here and see me fucking her dad it would be so wrong. As I thought of the horror that could be caused to his daughter he saw fit to place his lips on mine. It wasn't a deep kiss it was more to prove a point than anything.

"And as your friend I will tell you if you ever pull some shit like this again, there will be no friendship you got it?" I shoved him and he removed himself.

"I'll go get Ness," he sighed as he left the car.

* * *

A couple days after our small falling out Edward fulfilled his promise to take Ness hunting with him so I could have some time alone. I was so happy I could see straight, I was going to be alone for most of the day which meant 'me time' was a definite. I skipped into the kitchen and greeted my two roommates.

"Good morning!" I smiled and they both looked at me as if I went crazy I must've been a little too peppy.

"Hey Leah!" Ness equally peppy tone, "I guess you're not sad that we are leaving you here all alone. I thought you may actually miss me." She pouted.

"Of course I will miss you but I'm pretty sure your dad will bring you back." I hugged her briefly then directed my attention Edward.

"So when are y'all leaving?" I said poking him in the shoulder. He laughed and shook his head.

"As soon as Emmett gets here we'll be out of your hair," He grabbed my waist, "and then you'll be left to your own devices." I rolled my eyes at him I knew he knew what I was about to do but I didn't need him reminding me.

"Well then Emmett needs to hurry the hell up!" I said popping Edward on the nose. As if on command there was a knock on the door.

"Who needs the hurry the hell up?" Emmett said as I opened the door.

"You, you're late!" I said letting him in.

"I didn't know I was on a time schedule," he greeted Edward, "what's up with you lady friend?" He asked.

"I'm not his lady friend you two better hurry up look at poor Ness and how thirsty she is?"

"Leah I'm not that thirsty." The girl rolled her eyes. "We better go before Leah blows a gasket or something." Ness said walking towards the door. She exited the area followed by Emmett and then Edward as soon as the door closed someone knocked on the door again.

"What?" I huffed at the Edward standing before me.

"I forgot something." I stepped to the side so he could get whatever he had left. He grabbed me and forced me into a kiss he easily gained access to my mouth, causing his intense sweetness to send me on high and make me dizzy. "I thought that would help you in today's endeavors." He smirked and to catch up to Emmett.

"Go to hell!" I yelled then closed the door. I wouldn't admit it to him but of course any touch he gave me would make it all the easier for me to fall into to bed and do what now came naturally to me. I had everything ready and was all set for a good couple hours of mind blowing self serving activity, all I had to do was undress. As soon as I got into the bed and made myself comfortable there is a knock on the door. "Edward!" I grabbed my robe; he was not going to play this game with me today. I would punch him square in the face and suffer whatever injury it caused.

"What Cullen!" I growled but my efforts were surprisingly in vain.

"I'm most definitely not a Cullen!" Rebecca pouted and then shoved her way into the apartment. I was happy to see her I hadn't seen her in years but at this very moment I had other issues on my mind.

"Hey Becca how have you been?" I hugged her briefly.

"Good, when I heard you were living with the 'cold ones' I had to come and see it for myself but it seems that you're the only one here."

"Yeah Ness and Edward went to grab a bite sorta speak." I laughed and Becca looked at me shocked.

"I can't believe you're cool with living with them. It has to be creepy I mean one day good old Eddie boy could get hungry and decide to have you for a snack." She laughed.

"I'd like to see him try," I got up and went to the kitchen all of a sudden I had a vision Edward on his knees, devouring my puss, giving me what my body wanted. Truth be told that's the only way Edward would probably envision 'eating' me at this point.

"I also heard from a credible source, my sister, that you have been boning the enemy is that true?" She giggled devilishly.

"It was a long time ago." I huffed joining her back into the living room.

"How was it? I mean the stamina has to be amazing!" She beamed at me. "And leave it to you to pick the best looking one. Seriously, I want details." She was practically bouncing on the couch.

"Will you stop you are starting to remind me of Ness?" I rolled my eyes at her.

"Fine, excuse me for trying to have a little conversation with you before I hit you with some annoyingly bad news."

"What's the news?" I grimaced.

"It isn't news really, more of a stupid request that Sam wants me to make on his behalf." Becca got up and began to pace, "they actually asked me to come back to town so that I would lessen the blow of his request" she smiled nervously, "but I know that there's no way in hell you are going to go for it so I don't know why I'm wasting your time."

"Just tell me what it is already!" I huffed I mean my day was pretty much screwed anyway I don't believe there was anything worse than what has already been done.

"Your birthday is in a few weeks." She looked at me like she was about to throw up. Her face looked so odd it actually had me concerned that she was going to pass out.

"Yeah two weeks this Saturday. Why?" I was still confused as to what she or Sam wanted.

"You know how close your birthday is to Emily's birthday, he wants to throw her a party for her 24th birthday."

"On my birthday?" I was going to be 25 I didn't really make a big deal about my birthday, not since my father died, but I couldn't believe the nerve of Sam. "He can have the day I don't care."

"Well that's not his only request . . . he wants you to come and help set up for the occasion."

"It's official . . . Sam has lost his damned mind if he thinks I'm going to cater to him and Emily on _my_ birthday!" I growled.

"See I knew you were going to be angry. So I'll tell him hell no and we can move on." She said grabbing her phone.

"Tell him he can have the day but I'm not catering to anybody and that he is an ass for asking." I huffed.

"Okay I'll let him know. So now back to more important things . . . what's it like fucking a vampire."

"Really . . . really cold," I said helping Becca up, "you know I love ya but you have to leave now okay." I said pulling her to the door and when I opened it Edward and Ness were standing by the door.

"Bye Leah!" I knew that she would leave quickly once she saw Edward. Becca was a very curious chick but the thought and sight of vampires scared her shitless. She practically ran down the hallway.

"So that was quick." I sighed giving up on any personal time at all today. "You must not have been that thirsty."

"It's not that the sunlight, it was too bright where we wanted to hunt so we had to leave." Ness pouted a little.

"I guess will have to find something else to do today kid." I ruffled her hair. "I could make you some waffles or something." She nodded and bounced back to her room. I went into the kitchen and started grabbing the ingredients I needed. I still couldn't believe the nerve of Sam.

"He's an asshole!" I looked back at Edward who had sat at the counter quietly absorbing my thoughts.

"I can't disagree with you at the moment but I can't call you a mind rapist for the millionth time." I grumbled, then really took in his face he looked drained he really looked hungry. "Are you okay?" I took his face in my hands. "You're starving aren't you? You should go find a poor Bambi to bleed dry." I smirked at my stupid joke but I was seriously concerned I didn't want him to be uncomfortable.

"I'll manage." He got up from the counter; I could tell he was thirsty because of how temperamental he was.

"I have an idea . . . how strong is your resolve Cullen?" I took a knife from the kitchen drawer.

"Leah don't do anything stupid I can go out tonight and I will be fine!" He approached me quickly removing the knife from my hands. I just rolled my eyes and pulled another out of the drawer and within a second blood was flowing from my arm. He immediately turned back to me.

"You should drink before I heal," I put my arm up to his mouth and he turned away, "I'm serious Cullen!" He placed his lips against my new cut and carefully sucked at the area the blood flowed from. Part of me was scared that I didn't posses the power to heal anymore but after a few minutes he stopped and thankfully my arm had healed. "Do you feel a little better?" I smiled weakly, the whole experience left me a little lightheaded.

"That was stupid Leah!" He growled as he wiped his mouth. "I could have killed you! I didn't expect you to taste so good luckily the cut closed up but I have never been so tempted to bite you!" He stormed away from me but couldn't help but notice that his eye now carried more of an amber color it was kinda hot with his facial structure.

"Look we're both fine and I bet you're suffering a little less and that's all that matters. You can sit here and mope if you want but I'm not going to feel bad about what I did and I would and will do it again if necessary." I got up and returned to the kitchen.

"It's not only that . . . but your blood there something odd about it." He touched his throat, "I'm not thirsty."

"Isn't that the point Cullen?" Why was everyone trying to confuse me today?

"No, when we hunt it takes the edge off our thirst but we're always thirsty, but I'm not. I'm not thirsty at all." He smiled at me.

"See Cullen you should be thanking me not snapping at me," I smirked at him.

"No, what you did was still idiotic." He did seem a lot happier. "I really wouldn't want you to do it again."

"Why can't you just thank me for my awesomeness and move on, you always have to control everything," I placed a plate full of waffles in front of him. "Go get your daughter."

* * *

At the end of the day after Ness fell asleep Edward convinced me to read a book with him.

"Read a book?" I scoffed "What book?"

"Great Expectations, something I haven't read in a while." He said entering my bedroom.

"How are we supposed to read it at the same time?" I said being difficult.

"I could read it to you?" He smirked.

"I'm not a child Cullen." I berated him.

"You could read to me?"

"I don't have enough energy for that." I held my breath to keep from laughing at the expression on his face. "Give me the damned book!" I snatched it out his hands.

"You don't have to read out loud I could follow along in your mind if you wish." He lay is head inside my lap.

"That's not a bad idea Cullen." As read I mindless allowed my fingers to create a trail along Edward's shirt weaving in and out between the buttons. The atmosphere was peaceful the silence and the connection made me feel . . . completed.

"Stop Leah," Edward said after a good few minutes of lying this way. I hadn't looked down to notice his new frustration.

"Sorry I didn't realize." I removed my hand; he repositioned himself and placing me on his lap.

"I want to kiss you." He said as he moved the hair from my face.

"The past couple times you haven't asked what made you to decide to this time?" I chided.

"Because I want you to really kiss me back." He said as he pressed his nose against mine. "Please, just one more experience with you and I promise I won't ask again."

"You're lying you've said that before." I laughed, and then caressed the side of his face. "I want to kiss you too." This was the first mutual kiss that we shared that wasn't brought on by force or circumstance; it was nice, delicious, and passionate. Edward of course being as skilled as he was had maneuvered me so that my head was resting on my pillow; both of our breathing had become erratic. I was stupid to believe that we could share just one kiss and then stop. He began to suck on a concentrated spot on my neck I gripped his shoulders and began to push him down lower. I allowed him to remove my t-shirt exposing my breasts, instead of his normal line of attack he just looked at them.

"Leah, I don't want to play games with you anymore. If we do this I'm yours, you are mine. No more interruptions no more take backs . . . and you're not ready for that." He sighed disappointed. He grabbed my t-shirt from the floor and handed it back to me.

"Edward I . . ." I wished I could just give in to him but something in me tell me it would be a mistake.

"I know, I know . . . don't worry Leah we're still good." He held me in his arms and stroked my hair. I stayed there stunned and speechless.

* * *

_**Author's Note: **_

_**I know y'all are going to kill me I still haven't gotten to the b-day party yet. It should most definitely be coming in the next chapter! Tell me if you liked the prelude or thought it was outta place. A lot of final decisions will be made at the b-day party! So please review because it makes me happy. **_

_**Oh by the way Toshii519 the prelude is for you. **_

_**ChemicalJane is still awesome!**_

_**Ally happy belated B-Day! **_

_**Stephycats thanks for being my sounding board! **_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

Many times I've envisioned hell, I never knew that the vision was not that of fire and brimstone but the setup of a birthday party. I forgot how persistent Sam was when he wanted something. So when bringing my friend that I hadn't for years back home didn't work, he went to the source . . . my mother. She convinced me that helping set up for Emily's birthday party would be a way to bridge the gap between Emily and me; she even had the nerve to throw in my face how I was now a changed person. She was right I had changed but I wasn't a fool and I wasn't a stepping stool. Sam being the amazing guy he was, also convinced my mother to allow him to use the large building my dad used to use to for parties, it hadn't been used for such activity since he died. My mom had actually piled a whole bunch of junk in the building and was using the area as storage; she actually called Carlisle who enlisted the help of Edward and Emmett to remove the items the night before the stupid party.

So the eve before my 25th birthday I'm sitting in the kitchen area while my mother cooked and I watched Edward move boxes and furniture back and forth. I was so thankful for the bar like area that connected the kitchen from what would be used as the dance floor. At least I would be sort of entertained . . . it was amusing watching everyone else work. I loved watching Edward whip back and for carrying huge boxes with one hand it reminded me how strong and powerful he was, it was most definitely one of his more attractive characteristics. He looked at me and smiled I hadn't even realized how intently I was staring I just rolled my eyes at him and continued to stare.

"Honey will you taste this for me." I hopped off the bar.

"Sure . . ." I touched the spoon to my lips, mom's chocolate cake batter was always delicious; I nodded to her with approval.

"You don't think it needs more cocoa?" She seemed really concerned, "maybe just a little more." She mumbled as she added more ingredients to the batter. Why did she ask me if she wasn't going to take my advice? It was crazy that she was putting such effort in creating a cake for Emily who wasn't even her child; my birthday was tomorrow I wonder if she had a cake hiding somewhere for me?

"Honey how about you make some double chocolate chip brownies?" She smiled at me sweetly. She was out of her mind if she seriously thought I was going participate in the preparation for this monstrosity and injustice against myself.

"Mom I love you I do, I told you that I would come but I'm not doing any cooking, matter of fact I don't plan on lifting a finger." I said playfully shaking her.

"Fine," she huffed, "I'm just glad to have your company sweetheart." She patted my cheek. "Emily will be happy to have your company tomorrow too."

"Yeah and we all know that Emily's happiness is my number one priority." I said sarcastically. The conversation was starting to bore me, I turned to watch my entertainment, Edward had slung a table over his head and moved it into position. By the time Sam and his pack finally made it here, there would be nothing left for them to do. I guess they'll have to make pretty decorations, it would make sense for them to let the vampires do the heavy lifting, his boys were pretty much pansies anyway.

"Hey Ms. Clearwater! Leah!" Becca came into the kitchen juggling two paper bags.

"Hey what's all this?" I looked in the bag that she sat on the counter beside me.

"A little Smirnoff and Bacardi for the party!" She squealed. "Trust me Leah we're both gonna need it." She whispered as she unloaded all of her goodies.

"Y'all should be able to have a good time without such devices." My mom said sternly. Gotta love mom for being such a stickler for what she considered lady like behavior.

"I would agree with you if the party was for anybody else but this is seriously going to test my resolve I may just a little something to calm my nerves." I smirked at Becca. My mom just rolled her eyes and returned to her cake batter.

"Great! We can test out some of my drinks now. I still make a mean electric lemonade." She said opening the one of the bottles. "I should practice now to make sure I know the exact amount of what to put in the drinks." She set up two glasses, I knew there was a reason I loved Becca.

As soon as Becca had poured her delicious purple concoction into the glasses Sam came in and stared at her as if she had loss her mind.

"What's this?" He frowned like he was outraged at the appearance of the liquor.

"I'm bartending tomorrow," she said matter of factly as she tasted the drink, "a little too strong I think." She scrunched her nose up, I took a drink and agreed with her, I hated when a drink tasted bitter.

"Why are you bartending? Emily doesn't need this." He huffed like the sight of the liquor was some horrible tragedy. I was sure that all of us were of legal drinking age and enjoyed a good buzz but of course Sam didn't think about the desires of his guest the only person in his thoughts was Emily.

"So what, the perfect Miss Emily doesn't drink anymore I'm pretty sure she used to when we hung out." We were underage but we thought we were grown but that was back when Emily had a back bone, it soon disappeared after Sam stuck his dick in her vagina.

"It's not that of course Emily drinks, or she used to, she can't drink because she's . . . pregnant." He mumbled and my mom squealed with delight. He looked at me with apologetic eyes. He shouldn't feel sorry for me feel he should feel sorry for himself, he was the one going to be on diaper duty for the rest of his life.

"Oh Sam another baby! This is so exciting I'm so happy for you both!" She embraced him and I swallowed my drink whole. I hated that my mom still had such a strong bond with Sam I wished she just hate him like I did. The acidic burn tackled my stomach and caused me to feel like I could upchuck.

"Becca?" I said.

"Already gotcha babe." She began to pour more liquor into my glass.

Three more drinks and the world had gone fuzzy. I wondered what Rebecca put in her drinks to make them so . . . electric. I was hanging off the bar and the one thing I could fully focus on was Edward. Why is he so fucking hot anyway? It's kinda of annoying watching him bend over and move things. I watched the definition in his muscles and he maneuvered large objects, I just wanted to reach out and touch him. I remembered why alcohol never agreed with me it always made me horny it was like as soon as the burn passed my lips and entered my system it made in between my legs ache with want. I sighed desperately as I stared at Edward. My mom had made a run to the store and I was left in the kitchen with Becca.

"Hey Becca," I motioned for her to come closer to me, "Guess what?"

"What?" She laughed she clearly hadn't had as much to drink as I had.

"I. Want. To. Fuck. Him!" I whispered and then fell back laughing but she just stared at me confused.

"Who Sam?" I quickly sobered enough to look at her like she was crazy. I hadn't even noticed that he was in the same area as Edward until she mentioned his name.

"No stupid! The hot one over there . . . well actually he's kinda cold." I laughed as I pointed to Edward, she slammed my hand down so no one would notice my behavior. How could anyone look at Sam and the Edward and then choose Sam . . . that would just be dumb.

"Leah shhh!" She put her hand over my mouth and I licked her.

"Eww Leah grow up!" She frowned but then laughed at my stupidity and shook her head. I couldn't remember the last time I had gotten this drunk . . . yes I can it was that night in the hotel.

"Seriously, I miss him," I sighed, "in here." I said pointed to my pants she just shook her head again.

"Well, you are living with him just tell him that you want to fuck him. Aren't you supposed the blunt bitchy one this shouldn't be that hard for you." She said as she sipped on her drink.

"It's not that simple, we're friends now, buddies, chums, comrades, and he is now the peanut butter to my jelly." I said as I went to sip out of my empty cup. I sat it back on the table disappointed by it's lack of liquor.

"I always thought that peanut butter and jelly were more than friends . . . I mean they're always smashed together." I she murmured and laughed at her own joke; I just rolled my eyes and ignored it.

"And stupid Emily is pregnant . . . again! I can't even have one kid!" I pouted.

"I know honey, I'm so sorry." She stroked my hair momentarily then I pushed her away.

"Don't pity me!" I said hopping off the counter I fell and the shit hurt. "Shit!" I think I hurt my fucking ankle I grabbed it and groaned. I thought of the millions of times I had jumped off the counter this is the first time I landed on my ass.

"Everything alright in here?" Edward asked; he was now kneeling in front of me he made eye contact and slowly the corners of his face turned upward, he was obviously amused by something.

"You are so pretty," I smiled at him, "such a pretty hot sexy pants man!" I pinched his cheeks.

"Thank you," he smirked he was amused and concerned at the same time. "How's your ankle?" He touched it.

"Ouch!" I punched him. "You're no longer pretty!" I pouted as I rubbed my ankle.

"Can you stand?" He helped me up and held me in his arms as he assisted me in standing up right.

"You care about me sooo much Eddie pooh!" I said as I wrapped my arms around him. "Why do you care about me? I'm bad icky poison ya know? Everyone else hates me but I don't give a FUCK about them!" I said making sure that everyone who needed to hear it did.

"I don't know because I'm crazy as hell I guess and I didn't get the memo that you were someone I needed to hate." He pulled me forward encouraging me to limp forward; I guess he was trying to see if I could apply pressure to the ankle. "Just a sprain." He said and looked at Carlisle who nodded.

"Yeah you're crazy to care about lil old bitchy Leah, but I'm glad you care because I lov," I was drunk but I was not completely without my sense. "Cullen, I'm a little buzzed." I whispered.

"No Leah, you're wasted." He laughed.

"Shut up!" I shoved him and he smirked. Then a wave of sadness came over me. "Edo guess what?"

"Emily's having a baby." He said sadly and pain covered his face, great now he pitied me too.

"How'd you know . . . hey don't read my mind I'm trying to _talk_ to you here." I slurred I think I may have accidentally spit on him.

"Sorry I have an overactive mental ability." He said as he rubbed my back trying to take my pain away.

"We could never do that ya know?" I murmured lazily as I laid my head comfortable on his shoulder.

"What was that?" Edward's body tensed slightly.

"I could never give you a little baby? Bella gave you Ness . . . we could have had a awesome kid Cullen . . .you and me . . . together . . . would be great." That's the last thing I remembered before everything went black.

* * *

I was dreaming. I openly welcomed any dream that wasn't consumed by me fucking Edward. I was in the forest sitting face to face with myself in wolf form. I glanced all of the attributes that made her beautiful and amazing. The slant of her eyes and the different hues of gray in her fur reminded me of the pain and joy of my past. She just stared at me calmly waiting for something.

"I miss you," I whispered to the familiar entity and the power I used to possess. I reached out to touch her and she growled as she backed away from me and then began to run.

"Wait . . .wait!" I chased after her. As I whipped through the forest trying to find myself, the ground began to shake, the wind began to whip intensely through my hair, and rain began to pour like buckets of water from the sky. I finally found her sitting peacefully by a small framed young Native American woman she smiled at me, she seemed familiar but I swear I'd never seen her before in my life.

"I've been waiting for you," her voice, that voice has been running through my mind for months now. "It's all yours now." In her hand she held a small golden globe that glowed as if it were on fire, she held it out to me with pride in her eyes. I reached out and slowly placed my hand on the item in her hands once I fully possessed the item the acidic burn that I had became accustom to in my chest and stomach traveled through my whole body and felt like it was eating me alive. "You are now home and centered, exactly what you were meant to be . . . good luck my daughter." She vanished as if she were never there and left me with my former self. She approached me and bowed to me pressing her head against my stomach.

"We will always be one," I said to the beast, "you will always be wildest care free side of me." I touched the side her face and she cradled into my hand and whimpered softly and then disappeared. All that was left was me just me.

* * *

I lie with my eyes still closed but I feel cold smooth touch along my forehead. I opened my eyes to find myself on the couch in our apartment with Edward kneeling in front of me.

"Are you well?" He said handing me water and aspirin for the headache I should have, but I don't. I felt fine I was actually quite energized. I was more confused than anything else.

"I'm good Cullen trust me. Although I know I got wasted earlier. I don't really remember anything. Did I do anything interesting like punch Sam or dance on a table?"

"Unfortunately no on both accounts," he smiled at me as he stared at me. His eye contact was intense, he said that if was supposed to have an alluring affect on his prey I just considered it creepy, but once I adjusted to the characteristic I had to admit I could see its appeal.

"Damn, well then that was a waste of a buzz I will have to do better tomorrow." I laughed and he frowned slightly.

"You shouldn't get carried away tomorrow Ness will be there and she looks up to you I wouldn't want her to see you in a bad light." He said carefully.

"Yeah I wouldn't want her to see me trashed either." I decided that drinking tomorrow was most definitely out if I gave way to one drink it would open me up to desiring more. I would just have to live with the annoyance that was Sam and Emily.

"Hopefully there will be other activities that will distract you from there presence. Just because the party is for Emily doesn't mean you _have_ to socialize with her." He stated calmly. He did have a point no one was going to twist my arm on the matter. Even though as a norm I hated when we was right, this time I was glad he was.

"Yeah I'll try to hang with Ness and the other kids all day, there usually good for a laugh. Where's Ness by the way?" I said as I stretched and turned to my side so that I could view him fully.

"Staying with Rose and Emmett again, but this time I asked them to." He smirked devilishly and I immediately became uneasy, I couldn't handle him trying to seduce me right now because I would give in but it would be for all of the wrong reasons.

"Because I have a surprise for you," he looked at his watch, like he was waiting for something to happen, "it's after midnight we could now if you wish."

"Where are we going?" I huffed.

"That's the surprise." He pulled me from the couch and I groaned. I wasn't tired I just didn't like when he pulled stuff like this.

"Cullen I make a point of not getting in a car with vampires when I don't know where I'm going? You could take into the middle of the forest," he put a blindfold over my eyes, "Hey what the hell!" Now I was more that pissed.

"As much as I would love to hear another one of you hilarious jokes about me killing you, we have somewhere to be." he hitched me over his shoulder and slapped me on the ass. He knew I didn't like when men did that but at this point all could do was laugh, I was completely out of control well not really I could take the blindfold off and squirm free. Edward immediately tightened his grip.

"Don't take the blindfold off! I promise you will like this surprise." He said in a calming voice as he placed me in his car. I sat there trying to stare through the white sheen and make out where we were going, after a few minutes I gave up. He was lucky I was playing along it wasn't like he had bound my hands I could take the stupid blindfold whenever I wanted to, but I didn't want to ruin whatever he had planned. To distract myself from the uncertainty of not knowing where the hell I was going I decided to make small talk.

"So did anything interesting happen after I passed out."

"Your mom came back she saw that you had fallen asleep, or at least that's what I told her before placing you in the car . . . nothing else you should be concerned over." I could tell he was smirking and I didn't even have to look at him once an ass always an ass.

I heard the car stop and he quickly opened the door and assisted me to wherever he was taking me. "You can remove your blindfold now." He said removing his hands from mine.

When I opened my eyes I looked around I knew exactly where I was. "Leah Land," I whispered the last time I had been her I had defiled the area with my sick yearning for Cullen but he had come and made it beautiful. He placed dark red and crème colored ribbons surrounding the area, he had reconstructed my fort and added a tire swing with was really old school but awesome just the same. "Cullen this is . . . you are . . . thanks a lot." I said as I hugged him he placed his hand on the small of my back and cradled me into him. Nobody had ever put so much time and thought into anything for me. My chest became heavy with appreciation and exhaled hoping that that release would be enough to help avoid crying like a pansy.

"I know I'm not your father but I wanted to bring your memory back to life. I bought you a gift." As soon as he spoke the words he was gone and back again. He placed the long silver box in my hands. "This could be your secret gift Leah between you and me." He said with happiness coloring his voice, I smiled softly and thought of him and my dad. My dad who loved me so much and gave me so much time and attention, and Edward who loved . . . who was my best friend. I sighed deeply and a burst of wind came through the area causing reek havoc on my hair as soon as the area stilled I opened the gift. One single long stem single white rose lay in the box it was beautiful. I lifted the rose to my nose to take in its smell, soft and sweet, just like Edward. I looked at the stem and noticed a silver chain wrapped around it. I unwound the chain and at the bottom found the most beautiful ruby cut in the shape of a heart surround by a silver casing framing it like a cage.

"My God," I mouthed as I twirled the jewelry around in my hand, it would be the most beautiful and most expensive jewelry I'd ever owned. Sam had never bought me jewelry he always bought me lingerie, but that wasn't really for me he was the one always gawking at me in it, but with Edward I could be in cotton underwear and he would still mesmerized by my body.

"You like it?" Edward asked and I looked at him as if he couldn't seriously be asking me that. I had never held anything so gorgeous.

"Yeah duh, Cullen this is amazing!" I said embracing him again.

"Do you get the meaning behind it?" He asked and I stared at the necklace, the message was pretty obvious.

"It's a caged heart," I smiled but for the first time since I known Edward I couldn't meet his stare.

"One day when you trust someone enough, you will allow someone to save your heart." He placed his hand on my chest, I laughed a little, he should know by now not to say things like that around me or to me.

"Cullen seriously?" I laughed, I decided to let his corny line slide and appreciate his awesome deed. "Thanks again for making 'my day' special." I said sitting in my new tire swing I rocked back and forth allowing the breeze to take me over. I hadn't so felt so peaceful in a long time I watched the sky, it seemed to share my sentiment, no clouds were in sight and the stars shine so brightly it was as if they were putting on a show for me. It took a moment for me to realize that Cullen was sitting in front of me staring at me. I jumped off the swing and landed right in front of him, I landed a little closer than I would have liked, I almost fell on him.

"Take a picture Cullen, it will last longer." I laughed then stuck my tongue out at him.

"I could have said the same thing to you earlier but I guess I'm just a nicer person than you." He countered with an arched eyebrow.

"Whatever the night was boring, it's not my fault that you were the most entertaining thing in the room and trust me that's saying a lot." I rolled my eyes at him and then extended my hand to him. I had decided that I wanted to visit the pond there was nothing more beautiful than seeing a full moon reflecting off the water. He rose and followed me. When we got to the pond it was as I expected it to be the dark water was made entrancing by the moonlight I quickly slipped my feet into the water, I allowed the cold water to tickle and excite my toes. Edward stood behind me again watching me. I grabbed his ankle and he smirked at me.

"I hate when you stand behind me! It's creepy!" I untied his shoes and he stepped out of them. "Sit with me." I smiled at him and rolled his pants up to his knees so that he could enjoy the feel of the water, of course I gave myself the opportunity to caress his leg and enjoy the tickle of his manly stubble. He sat beside me but made sure not to be in touching distance, I closed the gap.

"Why do you do that? Sometimes you act like you don't want to be around me, then sometimes you act like you can't get close enough." I smirked playfully and nudge him in the shoulder.

"The . . . the temptation of being around you sometimes is too great; to continue our platonic nature I have to know my limits." He looked out into the water unwilling to make eye contact to me.

"Look at Edo admitting he has no self control," I crawled even closer to him wrapping his arm in mine.

"And yet you continue to test my resolve." He countered wrapping his arm around my waist.

"It's what I do best!" I laughed. As I moved I wiggled my feet in the water, kicked him slightly and then brushed my foot up and down his leg.

"No one gets under my skin like you Leah Clearwater," He ran his finger along my jaw line, "no one makes me behave so erratically." He leaned in closer like he was going to kiss me and then decided against.

"You know they say that it is good luck, to kiss someone on their birthday, it means the whole year will be filled with happiness." I spouted my bullshit proudly with conviction.

"Really, and now you're going to tell me that you believe in luck Leah?" He arched his eyebrow.

"I don't know about luck," I said as I pulled his face closer to mind but, "but at the moment I do believe in kissing you." I said before placing my lips on his and surrendering just a little to the feelings he provoked in me. As we kissed the wind began to dance around us. Just as I bit him gently asking for allowance into his delicious mouth he pulled away.

"Leah . . . all or nothing . . . I meant that." He panted as he tried to move away from me. I held him in place which looked like it surprised us both. If I was turning human I most definitely shouldn't be able to control the movement of a vampire, but all of that was small thought in my subconscious in comparison to what I really wanted at the moment which was the nearness of Cullen. I pushed him on to ground and lay my head on his chest and obtained the closeness I desired.

"I want to sleep here," I said resting my arm around his abdomen. I inhaled and took in his scent the slow burn actually relaxed me and made it easier to drift.

"That's fine with me I can lay still until you wakeup," he said as he swept his hand through my hair.

"You don't have to stay here all night . . . just until I fall asleep, then by all means do whatever, if someone asked me to lay still for a couple hours while I sleep I'd be like," he placed his finger over my mouth.

"Shhhh," he smiled at me. I shoved him slightly. I was rambling which was something I did to avoid something or if made nervous by something.

"Don't tell me what to do." I murmured with my face buried in his chest and fell asleep in his arms under the night sky.

"Leah?" Edward whispered and I couldn't tell if I was dreaming our not.

"Hmmm," I murmured and shifted closer to him letting him know I wasn't ready for him to leave me quite yet. I intertwined our legs to clarify the point.

"I know I'm taking the easy way out by telling you this now while you're partly unconscious but . . . I'm in love with you and I don't think I will be able to carry on existing without you loving me too. Will you please love me?"

I had to be dreaming because the real Edward knew I would kick his ass for saying something like that to ruin our platonic ecstasy. I just put my hand over the dude's mouth. "Shhhh." I laughed as I enjoyed the strong scent of my best friend and traveled even future into a blissful sleep.

* * *

_Author's Note: _

_Again I'm a little annoyed that we still have not made it to the party. The chapter was getting too long so I had to split it up. I will be putting the next chapter up really soon (probably tomorrow). I hope you like this one please read and review. _


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

When I woke up I had convinced myself that all the events of yesterday had been a dream. That Sam had not told me that Emily was pregnant, that I did not have to go to a stupid party for Emily at my dad's building being catered by my mom, and that Edward was not the sweetest vampire man in the world. I would have successfully convinced myself of all of the above if it hadn't been for cold sliver necklace that wrapped around my neck.

"Cullen." I smirked at the little caged heart now dangling between my fingers. I hopped out of the bed and made my way to the living room to see what the Cullen was up to. I walked into the living room to fine a long stem rose in a silver vase on the coffee table, but no Cullen, then I heard pots clinging in the kitchen.

"So what you doing getting ready to cook up some poor unsuspecting victim," I smirked as I sat on the counter as I watched Edward maneuver a pan onto the stove.

"Yeah . . . YOU!" He gripped my legs and slid me to his side of the counter, we both laughed. Last night was a good night everything seemed better, I felt refreshed and reborn in away and being around Cullen just enhanced all of the good vibes I was feeling.

"See I knew you wanted to eat me!" I laughed.

"Eat you?" He arched his eyebrow, "Hmmm that's a thought . . . I'm pretty sure that I mean it in a different way than you do." He smirked.

"You're so nasty." I murmured and he just shrugged his shoulders and looked at me innocently.

"I was going to make you an omelet for breakfast and then go pick up Ness for the party." He said as he added butter to the frying pan.

"You don't have to do that you know I can cook for myself." I dismounted from the counter and wrapped my arms around his waist from behind. I just felt like being connected to him. I knew I was breaking all my rules of platonic behavior but I wasn't sure I could fully see were the line was drawn anymore. "You're too good to me; you should try to treat me a little worse . . . we are after all supposed to be mortal enemies." I laughed.

"Why would I treat you poorly you've done nothing but try to do the right thing by Ness and me since you've come back?" He seemed seriously confused.

"Well you are the only person that sees it that way," I thought about how Alice, Bella, Jacob, and Esme all thought that I was causing them grief by simply existing. Oh and how could I forget about Sam; he most definitely wanted me to disappear.

"Leah, none of them really matter. I mean I love my family and I'm sure you love yours but the way they have behaved since you came back has been unfair. Actually it seems that most people treat you unfairly." He looked at me with pity again, and again I wanted slap him. "It's not pity it's compassion, empathy . . . and" The phone rang and I quickly removed myself from our embrace something told me that he was about to confess to something I wasn't quite ready to here.

"Hello?"

"Sup Leah happy b-day sis!" I could hear Seth's smile through the phone.

"Thanks, aren't you going to Emily's thing today?" I said wondering why he made effort to call me when he would see me later today.

"Yeah but I wanted talk to you before all the craziness went down. I can't believe that you let Emily use your birthday. You are way nicer than me." He laughed.

"Seth you know you're full of shit you're the nicest person I know." I laughed. He was truly a pure honest, friendly spirit, when I was bitter it used to be annoying but now I know if anyone was truly in my corner it was Seth big toothed grin and all.

"Today's going to be hard on you Leah, be careful." He said solemnly, "Sam is going to be showering his love, attention, and junk on Emily part of me called because I wanted to ask you not to come. Nobody deserves the emotional beating that you're about to get."

"Seth . . . I'm over Sam I don't feel anything for him like that anymore. I can handle it trust me." I tried to sound convincing. I mean I wasn't lying to him I was completely over Sam I just wasn't sure how I was going to feel knowing that he was diverting the attention from me on my birthday and almost forcing people to focus on Emily.

"Well, I'll be there if you need me."

"Okay seeya later." We hung up and I smiled to myself Seth had never been so protective it was good to know that he wasn't hung up on all of Sam's mess it made me think maybe some of the others may feel what he did was wrong too.

"I guess we'll see today." Edward said placing the omelet on the counter. "I'll meet you there after I pick up Ness. Happy Birthday Leah remember today is your day, don't let anybody ruin it." He quickly touched his lips to the top of my head and then left.

* * *

When I got to the party both Jacob and Sam's pack was already there the food was already out and everyone was surrounding Emily. I clenched the little gift that I had purchased for her, I was slightly unnerved by arriving alone, and I felt like I was entering a battlefield unarmed. I went to the gift table and placed the bag down.

"Leah!" My mom shouted from the kitchen. I cringed I just knew she was going to ask me to do something to help her. I waved at her and smiled hoping that she was just saying hello, she motioned for me to come into the kitchen and I regrettably did as she requested.

"Oh Leah! Everything is crazy in here can you please help me get everything under control." She looked so pitiful that I decided I had to help it was better than being in a circle being forced to talk about Sam and Emily. After a good forty five minutes on casserole and chili duty I was relieved of my services. "Thank you so much honey." She hugged and kissed me on my cheek as she pulled away from me she noticed the silver ruby necklace, "This is beautiful where'd you get this." She said touching the ruby heart.

"It was a birthday gift from a friend." I took the little red heart from her it made me uneasy seeing her hold it.

"Did I tell you happy birthday?" I can't believe she asked me that.

"I don't think so." I said calmly she should have known that she hadn't made one mention of it.

"Happy Birthday Sweetheart, I did buy you something I had actually meant to give it to you last night but you had fallen asleep." She handed me the box it wasn't wrapped, I opened it and a black sleeveless summer dress was inside.

"Nice mom, completely my style!" I smiled at her.

"I was thinking you could wear today but things happen." She shrugged she touched my ruby necklace again and I removed it from her grasps once more.

"I think more than a friend gave you that necklace," she looked concerned as if she knew something.

"You're wrong." Edward was my friend so she was completely mistaken.

"Did Edward give this to you?" She whispered and my eyes widened. She knew, part of me knew she probably did but I was hoping that she didn't.

"What if he did? We're friends." I countered.

"Leah, honey he is married I know what you did with him back then. I realized it while it was happening, I noticed the way you two began to look at each other and that you would both sneak off at the same time. You shouldn't fall back into that again. Have you fallen back into _that_ again?" She looked really fretful about the situation.

"No." I left the kitchen to find Becca I know I promised I wouldn't drink but one small taste wouldn't kill me and if I got hammered I would just ask her to take me home so that Ness wouldn't see me. I was half way to Becca when I felt my mom's hand on my shoulder.

"You should give it back to him, it's like you're wearing the sign that says you're his dirty little secret honey, it's not right!" She whispered and I knew everyone could hear her, I mean being that most of the people here had supernatural abilities they had pretty good hearing.

"Don't do this now!" I murmured angrily, "You are wrong we are just friends now!"

"No you're not if you could see the way you stared at him yesterday . . ." She looked concerned and I was sure I had to look enraged.

"Mom stop! You're making today worse than it has to be!" Having this conversation added to the tension of being forced to attend a party I didn't what to be involved with. It was bad enough she picked today to tell me she knew about Edward and me, she could at least just let it go until tomorrow.

"What's going on here?" Sam and Emily came over putting their noses into my business.

"Nothing," I attempted to smile, "Happy B-day Emily!" I hugged her briefly and tried to excuse myself.

"Where'd you get the necklace Lee?" Sam questioned bluntly like he had every right to know.

"It's a birthday gift," I narrowed my eyes at him, "I can't be sure of it's initial place origin I can tell you it probably came from a jewelry store of some kind." I glared at him made my second attempt to hit the bar.

"Who gave it to you?" He growled in the tone of an alpha call, if it was it was completely useless on me, but knowing Sam he would be stupid enough to try.

"You should just leave it alone man it's just a gift why do you care anyway?" Jacob surprised me and now stood by my side. I was surprised because he seemed furious at me the last time we spoke. To know that he would still defend me against Sam meant a lot.

"Yeah Sam back off she gave you her birthday can't you just thank her and leave her alone." Seth said now on my other side. I had just realized that the packs had split and that this had the potential to get very ugly and if I was turning the human the last place I needed to be was in the middle of a heated wolf war.

"Look everybody's on edge, I think we should all just have a drink, get buzzed, and toast Emily's Birthday. Right Em?" I said looking to her for help; the longer I stayed in this place the more I needed a drink. I saw Rebecca in the background she had poured herself a drink and was watching from the sidelines, I desperately wanted to be beside her.

"Yeah," She frowned at me and then focused her glare on her husband. She hated the way Sam acted in regards to me, none us would ever heal if he continued the act this way. I knew that she hated the fact that I was his first love. Maybe that's why he goes out of his way to prove to her that she is the only one in his heart, and that's fine I just wish it didn't have to be at the expense of all of our happy memories together, for example this place was the place Sam and me shared our first kiss and now that memory is tainted. That word now described the complete memory of my relationship with Sam; tainted.

"We shouldn't get involved in things that aren't our business." She pulled his arm and gave him a look of warning.

"Leah is our business Emily," Sam spoke softly to her but was still enraged, he turned and focused on me, "you're fucking leeches again aren't you Leah?"

"You can get the fuck out of my face!" I turned to walk away.

"And as a token of his appreciation he gave you some costume jewelry." He laughed darkly. He knew full well that anything Cullen gave anybody was real. "Leah!" He grabbed my arm and forced me to face him again.

"What the hell Sam!" I looked at my arm and then looked back at him; he must have lost his damned mind.

"I can't believe you made yourself some glorified whore for a leech but what's worse he doesn't even pay you," he placed his hand on the chain of my necklace, "he gives you this shit!" He went to snatch his hand back and the chain broke. I watched as the necklace fell to the floor it was almost as if it moved in slow motion as I processed what Sam had done, my hands began to shake violently. I looked back at him and rage settled in my stomach, nothing about him seemed apologetic he actually seemed contented by his actions. I bent down, picked up the pieces of my secret birthday gift, and when I rose I punched Sam in the face, I punched him so hard he flew backward and landed on a table. Emily ran to him to make sure he was okay, and then everyone followed her.

"I'm so fucking done!" I stormed out into the forest it had started to rain, the thunder and wind it carried with it was ridiculously intense. Even though visibility was bad I knew were I was headed. I knew that it would be the only place I could go and remember that I was happy. Leah Land.

* * *

I sat in my fort and allowed myself the tears that would not dare shed in front of an ass like Sam. Why couldn't he allow me one thing? All I wanted was one moment one memory of happiness and he wanted to take them all from me. I had never been so happy I had never shared this place with Sam because he probably would have found a way to give it to Emily too. I sighed relieved that this area, this spot would always belong to my dad, me . . . and Edward. I had allowed him in not once but twice and he didn't destroy my memory he only enhanced it. I was beginning to think that Esme and the others didn't know what they were talking about, hell I didn't what I was talking about. Edward in my life was a good thing, he was what made me happiest and healed all the hurt I had suffered. I wasn't sure that I was would be able to leave him . . . ever. After a few minutes in deep thought I heard footsteps and his floral like scent.

"Are you okay?" He spoke calmly.

"He broke my damn chain." I pouted like a three year old. I looked up to see Edward kneeling staring at me. He opened the hand that had the pieces to the necklace in it.

"The chain can be fixed or I could buy you a new one, but until then," he wrapped the chain around my wrist and tied several knots in it, the heart dangled on the side, "it makes an attractive bracelet don't you think?" He smiled and the kissed my hand.

"Yeah I guess," I looked at my hand and then at him, "the past couple of days you've been my hero you know that? I usually have to save myself but I have to say I like you in role." I crawled out of the Fort the rain had slowed to a steady drizzle. Edward offered me a hand up and I took it. He held me close to him.

"You shouldn't have to save yourself anyway; you should have someone that you depend on Leah." He released me and grabbed my hand, "Did you want to go back to the party or go home?"

"Wait, I want to tell you something Cullen!" I held him in place. "I think . . . I want to stay in Forks." He smiled brightly and then became confused.

"Why? What changed your mind?" He pulled me closer to him.

"My talk with Carlisle made me feel like I had an option. Then the fact that I'm so close to Ness, I would feel a lot better leaving once she is grown." He nodded appreciatively.

"Right," he didn't seem happy I thought he would like the fact that I was staying, but instead he just grabbed my hand and started to lead me out of the forest again. "So are you going to the party or back home?" He asked once we were back in the car.

"You don't seem happy with my decision do you want me to leave Forks or something?" The thought had never crossed my mind but maybe he was ready to go back to his wife and I was blocking him from reconnecting with her but that would be weird considering all that he had done for me.

"No don't be dim, of course I don't want you to leave." He said as he started the car, he didn't move he just stared into space.

"I can't understand you're attitude I thought you would be happy I was staying?" I knew that Ness would jump up and down once she heard the news but her father was starting to act like an ass, Sam's disease must be contagious.

"I am happy that you will be close!" He huffed, "But there's bound to be another reason why you are staying?"

"I'll admit that I don't want to leave you . . . you're my friend and." I tried to be honest with him and his frown grew deeper.

"Not good enough Leah!" He growled. "I can't do this anymore!" He cut the engine and hopped out of the car to do his pace thing.

"Cullen this isn't worth getting angry over! This is a good thing! I'm staying we can be together! I mean to hang out and stuff, it's good . . . were good."

"Leah I'm in love with you hanging out with you is NOT good enough anymore!" He looked heart broken, "And you can barely admit that part of the reason you don't want to leave is because of me." He stormed off and I followed him I didn't find it anywhere near as difficult keeping up with his pace.

"Edward!" I said once we had reached the pond that was as far as I wanted to go, the rain was becoming thick again and I didn't want to be stuck in an unfamiliar area. He stopped and looked at me. "I admitted it! I figured you would know that of course you would be part of the reason I don't want to go anywhere duh." I put my hand on his face he snatched it away.

"As my friend?" He hissed. Why was everyone trying to make today the worse day of my life? My best friend was rejecting me, my ex was an ass, and I'm standing in the rain crying because he won't understand. "It's not that I won't understand, I just don't understand."

"What is there not to understand I don't want to lose you Cullen, it shouldn't be that hard to figure out? You said you . . . loved . . . me." My heart flipped against my wishes. "That's a lot of responsibility and could cause a lot of hurt. If I could say the same it still wouldn't serve us any good."

"Because you won't be with me?" He glared at me. I just shook my head at him.

"I couldn't, not in that way." I walked away from him, "we should get out of the rain I have a good feeling it's about to pour."

* * *

We made it back to the party drenched we sat in the car staring at the activity inside the building. Emily sat beside a battered Sam who still held ice at his jaw. I must have hit him pretty good; at least something good was accomplished today. Edward wasn't happy but I hoped that he would start to see it my way and that we would eventually be good again.

"Cullen?" I said softly I rested my hand on his forearm, he didn't jerk away from me that was a good sign. "Please see things my way or at least pretend to for the rest of the day, it's my birthday for crying out loud." I begged him. I knew I wouldn't be able to go back into this party without him.

"I want you to admit it," he whispered. I sighed and stared out of the window. I couldn't give him what he wanted it would change everything. We sat there for a moment in silence. "I know it's your birthday but I can't do this anymore. I don't know if we can be friends anymore." He looked as awful as I now felt.

"Well then you can just go to hell then! I can't believe you would pull this shit on my birthday! The crazy thing is you're the one that told me not to let anyone ruin 'my day' and you are the one ruining it!" I got out of the car and slammed the door. I looked at my options I could go into the party or I could walk home. I started walking.

"Where are you going?" Edward asked.

"Home." I grumbled. I didn't have anything else to say to him if he was done with me then I was certainly done with him. I can't believe that he would end our friendship just because I won't be with him. What did he really think he was going to accomplish by ending our friendship?

"You're going to walk all the way back to the apartment? I'll take you home." He caught up to me and placed his hand on my shoulder and I snatched away from him.

"I'm going to my mom's house . . .home." If I took a short cut it would take me about ten minutes to get there, about five minutes if I ran. "I can't be around you right now." I walked through the path I used to take when I was little to escape parties that was being thrown that were typical suck fests and reeking with boredom. I hated the stupid rain, it made everything unclear not to mention the fact that the night was coming in and I couldn't see well through the darkness. At least I knew I wasn't alone Edward was the hard of hearing type, even though I said I wanted to be alone, he was still behind me, probably about ten feet away at the most, so much for having any privacy. After a few minutes once we were close to my mom's house he decided to speak.

"I'm sorry for ruining your birthday I just don't want to pretend with you anymore. . . I don't know if I could if I wanted to." He said compassionately I nodded letting him know I understood where he was coming from. I wasn't mad anymore, I wished I could have been but the reality was I understood where he was coming from. "This morning I served Bella with divorce papers . . . I don't want to pretend with anyone it's not just you . . . I'm tired of lying to myself." We had made it to the house; I picked up the spare key under the flower pot and let myself into my mom's house.

"A divorce wow!" I sat on the couch in shock that Edward had made his decision and it was against my wishes but the thought made me happy and somewhat relieved.

"Yeah Bella wasn't thrilled exactly but she signed the papers so it's over." He sat down beside me on the couch and sighed. I watched his face I couldn't tell if he was relieved or concerned.

"How do you feel?" I asked concerned about how he was actually adjusting to the situation.

"I feel like shit, I'm finally free and the woman I'm in love with won't admit that she loves me too." He smirked at me.

"Edward, I mean about the divorce dummy!" I hit him.

"I was planning to get one anyway. I mean I already had the papers drawn I have known for a while now that Bella and me were over." He shrugged. "Regardless of whether you and I get together I will not be going back to Bella." I made eye contact with him to make sure he meant those words.

"Really?" My heart began to beat erratically. Hearing him speak of his relationship in the past tense shouldn't have made feel so fulfilled. I wanted to be logical I shouldn't be happy about this, he was making movements to be with me, he was upping the stakes and the next move me. I wasn't sure I could make that move.

"Yeah," he touched my face, "really."

"Edward," I whispered as he traced my lips with his fingers my lips began to tingle from his touch, "I'm mad at you; you said you weren't my friend anymore." I said trying snap us back into reality.

"You're right," he sobered and took his hand from my lips, "I can't be your friend anymore my decision is final . . . I should go." He stood up to leave and I was going to let him go. I could let him go and just walk away from our friendship like it was nothing. He could be like everyone else I trusted and cared about, I could watch him abandon me. It was better he did it know before he fully broke my heart. I clenched my fists to my sides and my palms began to sweat, I could let him go but I really didn't want to.

"Edward!" I said between clenched teeth if he wanted a confession I'd give him one but the hell we would suffer would be on him. He paused with his hand of the door knob and turned and looked at me. "I confess it's true are you satisfied!"

"What are you talking about Leah?" He had to be kidding he was actually going to make me say it.

"Don't be an ass!" I said between clenched teeth. He just stared at me as if he were lost and confused. I guess he was going to be an ass.

"Fine! Fine! I love you!" I threw my arms up and looked away from him.

"Can you say that again? I'm not sure I heard you correctly." He was now standing directly in front of me wearing the most adorable albeit annoying grin I'd ever seen.

"You heard me jerk!" I went to punch him and he wrapped my arm around his neck.

"Yeah I heard you." With that he embraced me with a kiss allowing his tongue to fully examine the places it had been missing. It was different kissing Edward without the secrecy and without the guilt it was better. He took the time to kiss every part of my face he was slow and loving, unlike our sex which used to be fast and eager. He tightly wrapped his arms around my waist pressing me as tightly to his body as possible. "Leah, you and Ness no one matters to me as much as you two." He murmured and then kissed me again. He lowered us to the couch with me in his lap after a few more 'romantic kisses' both of our paces began to accelerate and my heartbeat began to bang against my chest cavity. He took his hand and ran them gently along the sides of my body as he placed little butterfly kisses along the side of my neck.

"Ed . . .Edward," I breathed, "we gotta go back to the party." I said as he laid me on my back began kissing and sucking vigorously on my neck, I let out a moan between clenched teeth.

"Why?" He said barely moving his mouth from its current position.

"Because Ness is there and she is probably wondering where we are." I was glad I was able to derive a logical thought Edward fingers hand begun inching there way up my shirt and were now tracing the lace of my blue bra, he released a faint groan of desire as his pointer finger circled my hard nipple. His touch stung and tingled causing the inevitable soaking of my panties, I clenched my thighs together trying to subdue the heartbeat like throb between my legs.

"We will pick her up after we finish." He said as he molded his hand onto my bra I exhaled heavily trying not to give into this feeling. He pulled the bra's fabric to the side exposing the nipple he was so eager to possess; he pinched sensitive area causing my back to arch and a small whimper of pleasure to hit my lips. He breathed his seductive laughter before continued his attack on my neck.

I was still unsure about a lot of this. I did admit to feeling that _emotion_ for Edward but I still wasn't sure if I could be with him. That would require a lot of trust on both of our parts and I still wasn't sure I trusted the whole Bella situation. I mean she could sign the stupid piece of paper and then decide that she wants him back, the chick is famous for pulling shit like that. Then there was Sam and his pack they would have field day with this I wouldn't be able to go on the Res without someone looking at me funny, not that I gave a damn what people thought I just rather not go through all the drama for something so likely to fail. Edward and I worked well together, as a team, as friends, and our bodies obviously worked well together sexually so I can understand how it would makes sense to make more out of it . . . but to run the risk of losing someone that fits with me so perfectly was scary.

"Leah, you have to learn to trust me," he stopped abruptly and panted as if he were out of breath, "I love you and you love me . . . and at this point it feels like we have to be together." He gripped my waist and shook me slightly smiling all the while. The word love made these vampire people way too happy.

"That's why we shouldn't be in a relationship you big doof!" I laughed and popped him on the nose. He looked at me confused and then his looked became angered he was getting ready to get up and storm off but I couldn't let that happen, I repositioned and legs around his waist locking him in place. When I did this I felt the full extent of his hard on and completely lost my train of thought. He watched my face as I tried to remember what I was saying, everything in my body was saying shut up and fuck. His silent laughter shook the couch and caused are bodies to move together, which again didn't help my concentration at all. After a few moments I finally got myself together, "ummm . . . look seriously Cullen don't be pissed, my reason makes sense . . . I love you so much that I don't want anything to come between us." I spoke the words so easily I didn't realize how I truly felt until I said it. I couldn't be without him. I couldn't run the risk of waking up one day and him not wanting me anymore. I wouldn't be like when Sam left and I became bitter, if Edward left I would still function but my heart wouldn't recover.

"Well we have a problem," he smirked. He was obviously touched by my statement but his eyes seemed to be caring a glazed high something that I noticed happens when he's extremely horny.

"What kind of problem?" He pressed his dick onto my center and rubbed roughly against me. I was so wet that my juices had come through my jeans.

"Whenever we're around each other I'm going to want to make love to you, I want to make love to you now," he pressed me against his growth again causing my eyes to roll in the back of my head. "I need to be inside you . . . are you seriously telling me you can live eternity without us ever making love again."

"We've never made love before . . . but . . . we've fucked plenty of times." I whimpered slightly my body began move as if it had a mind of it's own. I grinded on his growth momentarily and then aggressively reached for his zipper. I wasn't strong enough to think logically but for so long, and at this point I wasn't sure I was demonstrating strength or stupidity. The reckless Leah wanted her carnal desires met and I was ready to let her win. "We could always fuck, you were the best fuck buddy I had ever had and the only one for that matter." I started to unzip his pants.

"That's my special place Leah, it's reserved for women that actually want to be with me." He said placing my hands above my head I growled at him I didn't like being detoured. He smirked at me highly impressed with himself, we both knew this was going to happen and I didn't have time for anymore foreplay. I ached so badly for him that it was to the point of feeling uncomfortable.

"It's really not that special," I laughed even though I was a little annoyed, "I will have to tell the next interested chick that it's not worth the hype." I began grinded against him aggressively and we both groaned at the feel of our connection. The thought of Edward with another woman saddened me, I couldn't think of him looking at someone else that way, I mean if he wasn't going to be with Bella I would just as soon see him with no one . . . which was selfish but it was exactly how I felt.

"What you're doing to us is not fair," he breathed, "I will always wonder what it would have been like to actually officially be able to call you mine . . . to be able to kiss you in public." He continued grinding; he slowed our pace so that it was more slow and seductive. Surprisingly this excited me more and a loud moan of satisfaction to roar through me. I went to reach for his zipper again, and again I was detoured, this time he kept his hands gripped around my wrists. I glared at him and growled under my breath if he didn't fuck me soon I was going to rip his head off.

"You lifted that from my mind," I exhaled a labored sigh and wiggled my wrist free from his grasps and began to unbutton his shirt, "you're such an ass." I laughed my desire to be with him had multiplied. I traced the contours of his abdomen and sighed delighted by the feel of his rippled stone like chest.

"But you love me," he said as removed my shirt. He was finally getting into it; I loved when the leech let me have my way.

"Yes," I wanted to stop talking and just act impulsively. Hell, it was my birthday I should get enjoy a good hour of the day doing what I wanted, and I wanted Edward more than anything.

"Say it then," He said as he unzipped my jeans and slipped his fingers into my center. It was shameful how wet I was. He smirked and his arrogant grin was back in place. The muscles of my puss contracted around his fingers, he was easily able to maneuver two his fingers stroking them slowly in and out of the area.

"Can you just . . . shhhhit!" I arched my back moaned at him. I was too turned on to act but so annoyed. I didn't feel like talking right now and I had already told him what he wanted to hear, he was lucky he had heard the first time.

"Say it Leah I'm serious," he smirked, "I could always stop." I gasped as he thrust his fingers in harder and faster.

"I already told you," I moaned again as I gripped his shoulders and began to move with the rhythm of his fingers. I really wished I had taken my pants of so I could spread my legs wider and allow his fingers to access more of me, actually I wished he would just stop doing this and fuck me. As always as soon as the thought crossed my mind the bottom half of my body was completely exposed but instead of being annoyed I was grateful, "thanks." I murmured.

"No problem," he did as I requested and pressed his fingers in even further causing me to whimper hopelessly. I figured it was only a matter of time before he pleased me fully.

"Now say it . . . it's only fair since I did something for you." He breathed laughter by my ear, he moved my hair to the side, and then kissed my neck again.

"Whatever fine," I sighed, "I love you. Now can we please focus on more important things?" I said reaching his zipper for the third or fourth time. "Like, getting you out of this pants . . ." I smiled at him seductively, he was about to assist me in my endeavors when his phone went off. "You gotta be fucking kidding me! Don't answer it!" I whined; he was still maneuvering his fingers in and out of me causing me to squirm about.

"I have to it's Carlisle something may be wrong with Ness." He held his fingers in place and grabbed his phone off the coffee table. "Carlisle?" He asked he seemed a little annoyed he listened to him for a brief moment then sighed obviously frustrated by what Carlisle had said.

"We'll be there but regardless of what they may think this will not change anything . . . good bye."

"What's wrong?" I asked he didn't answer me he just connected his lips to mine and kissed me so hard it was almost like he was apologizing for something. He never spoke he just continued his trail down my body using his tongue to outline the places he normally loved to touch. He positioned himself so that his face nestled strategically between my legs. He moved my matching blue lace panties to the side and began to lick and suck the area around my clit. The cold chill of his tongue caused my center's muscles to contact and my juices to leak on the couch as he continued to attack my puss hungrily I decided to used my years of skill in the art of self satisfaction to use. I placed my fingers below only to have Cullen pull them back.

"This is my mine . . ." the smirk on his face was devilishly delicious, "and so are these." He said as he reached up and squeezed my breast sending a chill of satisfaction through my spine.

"Oooh . . . whatever you say sir!" I moaned and wiggled so that my center was even more easily accessible to him. He lowered his head back to my center, this time he darted his tongue in and out of my opening causing me to almost grind on his face, I was surprised by how much of his tongue he could fit in there and not only that but the way he moved it, he swirled it around and flicked it back and forth giving me the perfect blend of a fast the slow pace. "OH Cullen . . . OH YES IT'S SOOOO GOOOD!." He gripped my ass and spread my cheeks apart; he ran his tongue from my clit to my ass and back again.

I wanted him inside me I wanted to feel all the wonderful things I had felt two years ago. I knew it would be even better than it used to be and that he would not hold back because of guilt or timing issues that it would just be us in an endless moment of bliss. Instead of giving me what I wanted he took his thumb and pressed on what he used to call my sweet spot causing me to cum almost instantly on the spot. "OH Edward, yes, YES YES YES YES YESSSSS YOU ARE FUCKING AMAZING!"

After he finished he licked his way up my stomach, kissed my left nipple and then kissed my cheek. My body jerked like I was having convulsions from the satisfying release. "Why'd you rush it? I didn't even get to please you?" I was confused I thought he would want me to at least touch him.

"Trust me I do . . . more than you realize." He kissed me briefly and I could taste my essence on his lips.

"But it's my turn to say we need to get back to the party, we have to meet Carlisle and the others." He said soberly.

"I don't want to go back." I groaned and lay back on the couch. Within a few minutes I could be rested enough for round two and then I could play with my original ice buddy, I looked down at Edward's pants he was still very much so erect and I would more than happy to make him feel the way he made me feel. My mom was going to have a fit when she came home and smells our almost sex but I didn't really give a damn, the reality was she cared more about throwing a party for Emily than wrapping a gift for her own daughter.

"I know I don't either," he said as he made his way to my mother's bathroom, "but this is important it's about Alice."

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

_**I hope this chapter didn't zig zag too much. Smut is coming, this will be my first lemon so I hope I will be good at it. As always read and review! **_


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

Death by Heartbreak

After Edward excused himself and went into the bathroom I went upstairs to find something else to wear since my jeans had been defiled. Lucky for me I had left some of my clothing in my bedroom closet; I thought that it would make my mom feel like someday I would come home. Also, it gave me the opportunity to leave some of the clothing that reminded me of my past with Edward. I had left the dress I wore to the hotel, the dress I wore when we first had sex, and my sleeveless red summer dress. I decided to wear that one, I knew exactly why it meant so much to me; I wore this dress the last time I spoke to him two years ago before I ran away from everything. I wish I would have known that I would end up right back here dealing with the same shit, he could have saved his money on my air fare.

When I came downstairs Edward smiled at me, "Why did you discard your jeans? I rather liked them." He said opening the door for me.

"_You_ ruined them that's what happened!" I hit him in the shoulder and he rubbed his shoulder like I actually hurt him.

"Ow! You're really strong for a human," he laughed but continued to hold his shoulder, "and by the way _you_ ruined them with all your womanly juices." He laughed.

"Cullen who says womanly juices?" I laughed and bumped into him as we walked through the forest to get back to the party.

"I do because that's kind of what it is." He wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

"It's just a weird thing to say but I shouldn't be surprised you're weird anyway." I pulled away from him and took his hand instead, not that I didn't like the closeness it was just easier to walk this way.

"You like weird . . . matter of fact you love weird." He pulled me close and brushed his lips against mine.

"At this rate we'll never make it to the party," I spoke with common sense but my eyes were fixated on his lips begging him to kiss me again. He did as I wished and kissed me once more. He leaned me backward and gripped me firmly by the waist.

"You're right we need to stop playing around . . . for now." He smiled and steadied me on my feet.

As we got closer to the house I grew concerned about what type of situation are we heading into. A million scenarios ran through my mind, the one that scared me the most was that Alice could be back and at the party ready to hold me to my end of the deal. Alice coming back would be bittersweet, part of me still wanted to know if I was becoming human, that would predict my next move in my life. If I was becoming human it would really be hard for Edward and me to work, I couldn't allow him to change me it would go against everything my tribe stood for. I mean regardless of my feelings towards them it is how I was raised. I was supposed to believe that the 'cold ones' were bad . . . if we had that conversation it may hurt him. If I were still immortal somehow I could be with him . . . and I'm pretty sure I would be with him. I want to be with him but should I be with him?

"I think you should be with him." He whispered reminding me that he was still beside me and was contently eavesdropping on my thoughts.

"Bite me," I glared playfully.

"I will if that's what it takes to keep you with me, whether you like it or not. I know that's selfish but I will turn you if I have to." He gripped my hand tighter, "of course I would have to be sure that you really love me because even if I turned you, _you_ could still leave me." His face filled with concern.

"Are you afraid that we will grow apart like you and Bella did?" His eyes lowered and he nodded.

"I think that's why it was so easy for me to give in to your wishes to be platonic at first, because it did make sense and I didn't want to lose you, but the reality is that I cannot be satisfied with that. Anything meaningful in this existence takes risk . . . and you mean everything to me." He wasn't being corny he was serious I could tell by the frown of his brow. This confession meant more to me than the simple I love you, it was real, it proved that he knew attempting this would not be easy and that he thought I was worth the risk, my heart tightened causing me place my hand on my chest to encourage the odd sensation to subside. I closed my eyes and as we walked and focused on my heartbeat, the wind whipped my hair back from my face and awakened me from the dream like fog that was my thoughts. _Honesty, give him honesty_, the dream lady's voice echoed in my head she was right it was time to come clean.

"I'm scared to . . . I'm scared that you will leave me like Sam did . . . and that scares me because I love you so much more than I loved Sam. I don't think that my heart would ever be able to recuperate if you broke it . . . that's why I'm being so guarded and that's why I'm giving this so much thought, we both have to be careful because we've both been burned before. I don't want to hurt you and you don't want to hurt me." I sighed thinking that it may just be hopeless for this to work.

"It can work. We just won't hurt each other simple." He smiled as if that was the easiest thing on this Earth but I knew we both knew better.

A few minutes later Edward and I stood at the door of my dad's building. He gripped my hand tightly again, "are you ready?" He asked.

"For what? I'm still not sure what is going on, is Alice in there or something?" I asked him I didn't want to be caught of guard honestly I would have thought that he would have let me in on what's going on by now.

"Alice is in the area I can smell her scent. Carlisle was hoping that I would be able to read her thoughts by coming here, he also wants to know a decision in regards to you and me so that he can prepare everyone accordingly." He frowned and looked around.

"Well can read the pixie leech's mind or not?" I huffed knowing that the little peace of mind that I thought I may be able to possess was going to be tainted by more bull shit.

"Her scent is really strong, but I don't hear anything, which leads me to believe that she's with Bella and that they are planning something." He looked at me with apologetic eyes; he must've known I was going to snap.

"Great!" I let go of his hand. "I knew that Bella wouldn't give you up that easily! I can't believe I let myself think . . ." Before I could finish my statement Carlisle joined us outside.

"Is there a problem?" He looked at both of us concerned. We both stayed silent, "Edward can I have a word with you?" He motioned for Edward to follow him.

"Yeah one second," Edward turned to me and made sure I we had eye contact, "Leah Clearwater listen closely to what I'm about to say because I don't want to have this conversation again, there is absolutely nothing for Bella to fight for where I'm concerned because I don't belong to her, I belong to you. We belong to each other."

"Edward I . . ." He placed his hand over my mouth.

"Unless you were going to tell me you love me I don't really want to hear what you have to say," he smirked.

"I was and unfortunately you've killed the moment." I pouted and he kissed briefly in front of Carlisle. The sensation was odd and the expression Carlisle wore was even more odd, I couldn't tell if he was really happy for us or if he was grossed out. I knew I wasn't exactly sure I was ready to PDA until I was sure about things between us.

"I'm sure there'll be other moments," he touched my cheek, "let me speak with Carlisle for a moment and then I'll meet you inside."

* * *

I stepped into the building and Ness came bounding over to me, with Rose hot on her trail. "Leah!" She hugged me and smiled at me like I was the most important person she knew. "Where have you been? I've been waiting for you all day!" She said as she squeezed me tighter.

"I was here earlier . . . I had to leave and clear my head." I smoothed her hair and she sighed contented.

"She was worried about you," Rose said, "I tried to tell her you were coming back but she still worried it must be an inherited characteristic."

"I wasn't worried really; more bored stiff, for the past thirty minutes Sam has held us prisoner while he serenaded Emily with these ridiculous sappy love songs." Ness rolled her eyes, "and they aren't even what are considered the popular sappy love songs they're all corny and annoying." I laughed Sam always did have interesting taste in music. I looked over to see if Emily was really enjoying his attempts to please her musically, she was wearing her fake smile, the one she wore when she didn't want to hurt somebody's feelings. It was funny to me that Sam had been living with Emily for years and didn't know when she was faking her happiness; it made me wonder what else she faked to please Sam.

"I guess I could try to liven the event up a bit!" I sighed and placed my hands on my hips. It slightly sucked that I was about to wow everyone with my awesome personality to add excitement to a party that wasn't even for me, but I was in a good mood so what the hell. I mean there was an extremely high possibility that I was going to get laid tonight and I didn't think anything could really bring down my internal buzz.

"Please do but first let me give you your birthday gift!" She squealed and handed me the gold glitter bag. "It's from Rose and me."

"Wow I wasn't expecting you to . . . thanks kid." I opened the bag and found a beautiful sliver and topaz tiara. I looked at the item confused it wasn't a very practical gift but it was really pretty. "Do you like it? I thought it would be good for you to have because sometimes people treat you bad this will be you own reminder that you are a queen, a goddess and should be treated as such."

"Yeah it's beautiful kid." I looked at the detail going around the crown and smoothed my fingers around its surface.

"It tells the story of the vampires and the shapeshifters . . . it's the story that brought us together." She smiled sweetly and I just ruffled her hair she obviously put a lot of thought into it.

"It's the best gift of the day!" I hugged her. "Thank you Renesmee . . . now about this party." I put my tiara so that the kid could see how much I appreciated it, if Sam didn't like my newest piece of jewelry he could kiss my ass, if he touched it I would kill him and I wouldn't think twice about it. I snuck over to Emily and sat beside her she looked at me as if I had lost my mind. "Hey cuz how goes the party?" I smirked.

"How do you think it's going my husband is serenading me . . . and has been serenading me for a half hour?" She smiled harder and I laughed.

"You could always tell him to shut the hell up. He would listen due to the imprint and all." I whispered she groaned, she hated trying to have conflict with her husband maybe that's why imprinted on her because she is so timid.

"I've already tried to stop him twice," she whispered and then frowned, "I don't know what type point he's trying to prove."

"Your guess would be as good as mine," I sighed and looked at the poor fool as he grinned at Emily like an idiot, "how about I save your party and get you're hubby out of the middle of the floor?"

"You're not going to hit him again are you?" She chided.

"That wasn't in the plan but that could work too." I laughed. As the song ended and he went to find another song he abandoned the microphone and I took it.

"Hey Sam!" I sang as I wiggled the mic in the air.

"What the hell are you doing Leah?" He frowned violently.

"Helping you wake up hon bun, look at your wife and your guests, do you really think they want to hear you sing another song?" He looked at everyone's faces and then stared at Emily analyzing her expression as she looked at him apologetically.

"I just want to have a little fun Sam." She smiled and spoke quietly. "It's not that I don't appreciate the sentiment, I'm just restless I want to move around a little." She squeezed his arm lovingly it seemed like she was almost afraid to speak her mind with him. I knew it I were ever to get married I could not and would not feel that way, my husband would have to know what was on my mind before anybody else did, hell sometimes it would be great if he knew what I thought before I even did. As I made this small revelation a certain mind raping vampire cross my path, and immediately changed my mind it was better that my thoughts remain my own.

"You almost threw a decent party until you opened you're mouth to sing!" I laughed but then quickly sobered. "When Emily and I were younger we used to love karaoke it least that gave everyone an excuse and an opportunity to sing badly."

"Oh Leah I haven't done karaoke in years!" Emily squealed and jumped up and down.

"Why not?" The last I checked you could purchase a stupid old karaoke machine just about anywhere.

"I don't get out much," she murmured and shot a glance at Sam. I almost felt a little bad for her it seemed like Sam was keeping her prisoner in her own home at least she didn't have to wear the stupid old house arrest bracelet. That shit would have never worked with me I would have killed him first yet another reason I'm not his imprint.

"My karaoke stuff is in the garage, I'll go get it." I said excuse myself from the 'happy' couple when I felt I slight pressure on my shoulder.

"Leah can I come I want to talk to you." Emily looked back at Sam and then back to me.

"It's a free country cuz," I walked pass Ness and she grabbed my hand. I guess that was her way of telling me she was coming too. I was glad that she tagged along I didn't feel like being with Emily alone with her in tow I was sure not to get caught up in a conversation I didn't want to have. Rose followed behind us as well I think she came to make sure that Ness had a way out if Emily and my conversation became heated.

When we reached the garage it was a mess mom really never came out here anyway, it was dad's domain she probably stayed away from this area to keep his memories locked away. That's one thing we had in common we liked to try to suppress the past and run away from the emotions that hurt too much. I ran my finger along the dusty workbench and sighed, my dad used to sit me up on the bench and talk to me while he worked on his car. He would tell me crazy stories about all sorts of old fables past down through our ancestors, he told this one that I called the super woman story; she possessed so much power that all of the creatures of the land obeyed her it was my favorite story and sort of wanted to be her. I wished I could remember all the details then maybe I could tell it to Ness one day.

"There are so many boxes in here!" Ness said snapping me back into reality. "Which one is your karaoke machine in?"

"Last time I checked it was over here," I moved the box and noticed a picture on the wall it was a picture of Sam and me. I was sitting on my dad's car and Sam was kissing me, he looked so young, we were so different then. I took the picture off the wall and stared at it. "I guess I missed one." I started to rip the picture into a billion pieces and Emily stopped me.

"Why do you two do that?" Emily huffed. "Why do you act like what you had didn't even exist? If the memories mean nothing to you, why destroy them? Why not just leave them alone and respect them for what they were?" What she said slightly pissed me off but I could get where she was coming from my actions would make any person assume that I wasn't over Sam.

"I try to destroy the memories before Sam gets the chance to. He is taking all of _our_ memories and making them yours. Tonight's party is being held in the place where Sam and I shared our first kiss; it used to be one of the things that made me smile. Now it will be the place where he threw your 24th birthday party on my birthday. I don't why he's being so stupid I'm over him . . . so over him, it's like he wants to punish me for not mourning over him anymore." I said placing the picture on the work bench.

"I know he is still hurting over the loss of you. I mean don't get me wrong he loves me . . . trust me I know he does, but he dreams about you he says your name in his sleep. I confronted him once and he said that it was a nightmare . . . but if it was a nightmare why was he smiling?" She laughed disgusted, "I don't know if we will make it. I don't know if I can stay with a man that's still in love with my cousin." She looked at me like I was supposed to have some divine answer.

"Maybe he should get some therapy? Or maybe you two could join some type of couples therapy?" I said seriously then I heard Rose snicker from outside, "If you are going to listen you might as well come inside Rose." Rose came in and sat on a bench.

"May I add some advice and perspective?" She looked at Emily, "You should have given him proper time to deal with the emotions that came with this weird imprint thing. He had been in love with Leah for years he needed time to adjust and so did Leah. If you had both been thinking in terms of fairness you would have all sat down and discussed the situation before any rash decisions where made; distance and time produces clarity, things may have worked out differently in the long run. As for now, the damage has been done, the question you need to ask Leah is if she is in love with your husband? Actually she already answered it so now the next step is . . ."

"Asking Sam if he loves my cousin and," Emily sighed and let a tear roll down her cheek, "I'm pretty sure I don't want an honest answer to that one. I don't know if I will be able to live with it if I hear him say it." She touched her womb that carried her unborn baby inside. "I got pregnant hoping that another baby would help are bond but I feel like I'm hanging on by a thread." She allowed herself to sob and I held her.

"It's okay, everything will be fine, you are a strong woman and even if his answer hurts you will heal." I smoothed her hair. "I did."

"He's going to want you back!" Her wails became stronger, "I should have never been with him in the first place, it was good at first but I knew something just didn't feel right! Even with all that I still love him, I mean look at all he does for me! How could I not want to be with a man that looks at me the way he does?"

"Well then stay with him and don't ask him, if you can leave with the not knowing, he's imprinted he will do whatever it takes to make you happy, just deal with the not knowing and keep your man." I shrugged seemed simple enough to me.

"If that were me it would slowly drive me mad. If I suspected that Emmett was in love with someone else I would have to know the truth then I would probably kill them both." Rose mused. Then I thought about Edward, maybe I was going crazy because I wasn't completely sure he was over Bella, I mean yeah he got the divorce papers signed, but what if this was just some phase he was going through and one day he decided he wanted to go back to her.

"She's right it would drive me crazy!" She ran her fingers through her hair.

"You have to ask." Ness said now standing beside me, "no one deserves to live a lie when they don't have to." The kid smiled at me reminding of how mature and insightful she was. Emily nodded.

"I guess the next wedding we'll be attending is the Uley wedding part two." Emily laughed darkly; Ness looked up at me and frowned.

"Emily, I don't want Sam." I said as seriously. "That will NEVER happen." I shifted a couple of boxes to the side, and then found the box I had labeled with purple marker. "Found it!" I smiled.

"Hey," Emily touched my arm again and I looked at her she was trying to find a way to word what she was going to say, "Leah, if you are in love with someone and you think people won't approve, you should remember who you are and that you don't give a damn what people think." I knew what she was talking about.

"Who said I was in love with anybody?" I arched my eyebrow at her daring her to engage in the conversation further. I really need didn't advice in the love department right now, it seemed like I may be in a good place, and we may be on the verge of an awesome understanding.

"I just want to help you like you helped me." Emily said concerned. "If you love Ed . . ."

"Well thanks but it's not needed," I lifted the box, "it's time to party!" I cut her off quickly and made my exit from the garage. I knew how I felt about Edward, I had no doubts about it, that emotion wasn't the one that concerned me, jealousy and fear now those were the real bitches.

When we got back to the party everyone had gotten a drink and started conversing it looked more like a party scene and less like the funeral it resembled earlier.

"At least people are smiling now." Rose commented. We all nodded.

"I'll go set up," I took the box over to the stereo hook up, I kneeled on the floor by the behind the other music equipment looking for an available outlet after a few seconds of searching I felt a cold hand on my shoulder. "Hey." I whispered not bothering to turn around.

"Did you two have a nice talk?" He said commenting on my talk with Emily. He rubbed his hand along my back.

"Ummm . . . It was constructive I guess," I handed him a microphone, "set that on the table."

"She thinks Sam is still in love with you," he whispered, "that concerns me." He sighed obviously frustrated by the news.

"Why?" I turned to him and he really did look worried. Did he think that I would renege on my feelings for him just because Sam could be interested in me again? Sam hurt me and I would be fool to go back with someone so dismissive and controlling.

"Is everything okay over here?" Esme approached us with her generally pleasant nature disguising her actual intent of throwing a wedge between me and her son.

"Yeah, just setting up for karaoke . . . I'm going to get Seth to load some songs into the system." I said removing myself from a potentially devastating conversation. I found Seth playing cards with Embry; Ness was latched over Embry's shoulder. I watched as Seth took his turn and Embry looked at Ness then arched his eyebrows and made his move.

"I knew the little leech was feeding you info!" Seth threw his in the air like he was angry, Ness pouted angrily she really didn't like being called a leech. I had called her a leech only once and I gave her whole spiel on how she didn't really get the analogy, she said if it is based of the fact that leeches suck blood and so do vampires there are tons of different animals or insects that have the same characteristic, so why pick something that is all nasty and slimy like an leech.

"Seth, don't call her that!" I laughed knowing that she was put out.

"Sorry, Ness you know I don't mean any harm by it," he smiled and she just rolled her eyes.

"If it helps you are the prettiest little leech we know," Embry commented she looked at him then smiled slightly.

"I'm not _that_ little, but once I'm older if either of you call me a little leech I'm going to write the word on a piece of paper and make you eat it," she laughed, "but you're right about one thing I'm pretty." She smiled at Embry again if I didn't know any better the little girl was sort of flirting with him, good thing Jake wasn't' near by he would have kicked Embry's ass just because Ness was giving him attention add on the fact that Ness may have her first crush . . . we'd have two big wolves in the middle of the dance floor.

"Yes Miss Ness Ma'am the word leech is now out of our vocabulary!" Embry laughed as he looked down at his cards. It seemed like Embry was totally blind to Ness' behavior, which again was a good thing because if he knew about it and let her still act that way it would be weird bordering on the line of gross. I would have to pull him to the side and fill him in, I wanted him aware of the situation so that he would be prepared if the little vamp girl tried anything crazy.

"Seth come load songs in the machine," I said while I poked him several times in the back. As soon as Seth got up Jacob took his seat wanting to be close to Ness but it was funny Ness seemed more into picking at Embry. "Weird," I said I continued to stare at Ness at the cards table.

"What? Oh Ness and Embry yeah it's kind of odd how they bonded. He usually hangs out with her when Rose brings her over to the Cullen's house, when you and your leech need some alone time." Seth smirked.

"Am I supposed to respond to that statement?" I tried to sound cold and pissed but it didn't come off that way.

"I expected you to confirm it or deny it," he looked at me bluntly. "But an omission is pretty much a confession."

"Confession of what I didn't say anything dweeb!" I growled slightly and nudged him.

"Of your undying love you Mr. Edward Cullen!" He laughed and I just shook my head at him. "Leah! Do you love him? I thought you were just . . ."

"Shut up Seth can't you just download the music silently?" I went to step away and he grabbed my hand.

"Hey, this is me, I don't want to hurt you and I'm not trying to be noisy . . . well maybe I'm being a little noisy. I just want to know where you're head is at, Edward is a decent dude . . . I'd understand if you did love him." Pressed a button on his computer and sent all of his files into the machine.

"Oh, I'm so glad I have your understanding!" I said dryly.

"So you do love him." He smirked.

"I didn't say that either! Look drop it okay!" A pain pinched in my chest and caused me to feel light headed. "Oh God!" I stumbled forward slightly.

"What's wrong!" Seth dropped his computer and rushed to me. "You okay?" He rubbed my back.

"Yeah I just need some water." He escorted me to the kitchen where Edward and Carlisle now happened to be sitting. Edward stood so that I could have his seat and he grabbed the glass of water before Seth could even think to.

"Seems like you're in good hands sis, do you want me to finish loading the music?" I just nodded I didn't want his worrying eyes glaring at me. Even when I drank the water the burning sensation continued to roar through me. It hurt so bad that I thought I was dying.

"What's the source of the pain?" Carlisle asked hopping into doctor mode.

"It's her chest she's been having pain in her chest similar to heart burn happens when she's stressed." Edwards said matter of factly.

"I'm sure you can handle bringing her stress level down. Call me if you need me." Carlisle smiled leaving us alone. Once Seth and Carlisle left the room Edward kneeled in front of me and placed his hand on my chest and rubbed the area in a circular motion, he must've known the pain I was in, he just rubbed the area taking away all of its pain.

After a few minutes, once the pain started to subside he touched my forehead as if he were checking my temperature, it wasn't until then that I realized that even though he was taking care of me he hadn't once made eye contact with not only that he hadn't spoken to me once. He rose to his feet and grabbed my glass to fill it back up with water.

"Thanks for taking care of me Cullen," he didn't look at me he just placed the glass on the table and started to walk away from me, "hey I'm over here showing you gratitude and shit at the very least you could say you're welcome. What's wrong who tied your panties in a knot?" I huffed.

"I'm not getting into this with you now. My concerns can wait until tomorrow." He said solemnly.

"Is this about Sam? I told you . . ."

"No, it's not about Sam, it's about you. I've spent the duration of the night speaking with Carlisle and Esme about my feelings for you and how you now share those feelings, Carlisle of course was not surprised by the news . . . Esme on the other hand . . . but then to hear that you alluded to your cousin and your brother that you feel nothing for me. It makes me question what I'm fighting for." He stared at me violently, "do you want to be with me?"

"Edward . . . I love you," I touched his arm and he jerked away.

"That's not what I asked you," he turned away from and went to exit the kitchen. I grabbed his arm forcing him to pause in his tracks.

"Edward please understand . . ." He pulled away from me.

"No more _understanding_ Leah. I don't want a woman who refuses to be logical and stand up for what we have. I don't want you anymore." He hissed and threw the door open as he entered the party. My heart felt like it crumbled into a million pieces.

"What just happened?" I whispered into the nothingness, I crept over to the sink as the acid burn that attacked my chest traveled throughout my whole body and I began to perspire. I stood there with my mouth gapping open as the memories of Edward and I ran through my mind.

"_I'm scared to . . . I'm scared that you will leave me like Sam did . . . and that scares me because I love you so much more than I loved Sam. I don't think that my heart would ever be able to recuperate if you broke it . . . that's why I'm being so guarded and that's why I'm giving this so much thought, we both have to be careful because we've both been burned before. I don't want to hurt you and you don't want to hurt me." _

"He hurt me," a single tear ran down my face, to be fair I apparently had hurt him too. I took too long to make my decision and now I had missed out. I groaned in pain and clinched the sink for dear life.

"I know, I know I'm getting her," Rebecca laughed her way into the kitchen, "Leah we're ready for some karaoke action." I couldn't move I couldn't pretend that everything was okay, "Leah, are you okay?" The acidic pain took the moment in time to quadruple in magnitude, shooting all over my body and causing me to double over in pain.

"Go away Becca, leave me the fuck alone!" I growled.

"Okay . . . I'm leaving." I heard the door close. After she left I dropped to my knees in pain and gasped, I couldn't breathe. I could be okay with dying right now I mean I was doing anybody any good the only thing I had been doing is causing the person I care about most in this world pain. "I'm a monster!" I groaned and another tear left me as I gripped my chest in pain.

"You're not okay," Rebecca sat on the floor beside me held me in her arms and I was too weak to tell her where she could stick her sympathy, "honey what's wrong?" I shook my head I didn't want to talk to her and admit to the loss of Edward. "You gotta let out Leah it looks like you're holding your breath, breathe at least damn!" I inhaled deeply and a roar of sobs came out as I exhaled. I gripped Becca harder.

"It hurts so much!" With that I took my last breath, my heart stopped and I was trapped in darkness.

* * *

_**Author's Note: **_

_**Next chapter is important, I'm slightly blocked so I don't know if I'm in love with this chapter, it does however get me where I need to be for chapter 13. So the questions: Is Alice back? Is Leah really dead? Does Alice have something to do with Leah's heart stopping? Will Alice have the answer to what Leah is? Hopefully I will be able to answer the majority of the questions in the next chapter. As always read and review. **_


	13. Chapter 13

_Prelude to Chapter 13 – Edward's POV_

_Need vs. Want_

"HELP OH MY GOD, SOMEBODY HELP ME PLEASE!" I heard Rebecca's screams from the kitchen and traveled to her instantly. I stopped in horror as she held an unconscious Leah in her arms and she sobbed over her, she looked up at me and then Carlisle who was now by my side. I watched as the majority of the party's guests filed into the small room.

"What happened?" Carlisle leaned down and looked at Leah; even though she was unconscious her face still carried the expression of pain it made her looked warped and twisted. I had caused her to look this way, why couldn't I have just left well enough alone? I had gotten more emotion from Leah today than I could have ever wished for in an eternity yet I still pushed her for more. Not only that I lied to her face, how could I not want someone that was so perfect for me? How could I not want the woman who makes my 'blood boil' and makes me feel alive?

"When I came to get her she was doubled over in pain she asked me to leave but I didn't she dropped to her knees, and then passed out." Rebecca spoke between whimpers as she rocked Leah's body back and forth as if she were holding a baby.

"Can you let go of her so that I can examine her briefly?" Carlisle said as he removed her hands as he did this she began to wail louder and Sue wrapped her arms around the girl to comfort her. She did it to comfort herself as well all of the guilt that running through her mind about the party and other incidents in life where she had aided Emily instead of her own child. She grew to prefer Emily because of her soft nature and the fact that she had bore children that she could nurture. There had been times when she had wished that she had birthed Emily instead of Leah, the sad thing was that Leah knew this and still loved her mother despite all of her cruel logic.

_Damn, no heartbeat . . . no pulse_, Carlisle shook is head he was giving up he rose to his feet and looked at all of the people in the room. _How do I do this how do I tell all of these people that Leah is_ . . .

"NO," I shook my head profusely, "NO, you haven't even tried anything yet! She's not . . . she can be fixed. Someone call for a damned ambulance! Why are all of you standing around? If you care about her at all you would do something, but none of you give a high fuck do you! You're all probably happy she's dead!" If I could cry I would, I saw as Seth scrambled to pull his cell phone and Jacob comforted Ness and Sue. My focus was on now on the love of my life who lay limp and breathless and would soon be cold and underground.

I couldn't except it, I smoothed her hair out of her beautifully tortured face, and positioned her head so that I could attempt to breathe life back into her body. I covered her mouth with mine and blew my breath into her lungs. I thought of the many times our lips touched as we kissed and the cocky adorable smirk her lips would produce when she'd come up for air. I couldn't live life without seeing that again. I pressed my hand against her chest begging for any sign that she could be coming back to me. I closed my eyes and listened for her thoughts, anything just a whisper from her mind's voice. "Nothing." I whispered and then the panic of reality began to sit in. "I'll try again," when I went to attempt CPR again Carlisle stopped me.

"Son stop . . . please," Carlisle gripped my shoulder tightly and addressed the crown still in the kitchen, "everyone Leah has had a heart attack and her heart has stopped beating . . . due to the amount of time that has passed an attempt to save her would be . . . futile." Carlisle looked down at Leah and I could appreciate that he was truly saddened by her passing. While working with her Leah began to grow on him, I would catch him smiling to himself about some of the blunt things she would say about the work or the people. Another thing that I had grew to love about Leah is that she held no punches she usually told people exactly what she thought . . . except when it came to me, she was always so guarded and careful.

"What are you saying? WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?" Sue began bawling, she knew he was saying. She clenched Rebecca tighter. As she began to process that she had outlived her daughter, the daughter she had practically discarded and taken for granted. "My poor baby!"

"This is crazy, Leah is young and healthy this is bound to be a mistake," Sam said as he looked over the body, if he touched her I would break his neck. Why should he want her to her to live so that he could continue to torture her with his insensitive actions? Sam was an asshole, I wished that Leah had never felt anything for him at all, but I knew that she was still felt hurt by him.

"Older people are not the only ones that have heart attacks, if a young person is under a lot of stress they can fall victim of a stroke or heart attack. With all the things going on in Leah's life that's probably what happened, today for example was uneccessarily stressful for the young woman," Carlisle swallowed deeply before beginning to speak again, "now would be a good time for you to say your goodbyes I will call the coroner and make the arrangements." I watched as her family hugged and cried over her body, all I could do is shake my head. This was my fault I put too much pressure on her. If Leah was conscious she would tell me to stop feeling sorry for myself, that she was the one that was dead not me (well that depends on how you define being alive), she'd grab my face and study my expression until I loosened up then she'd me shake me slightly causing the weight of the world to lift from my shoulders. She was the only one who was ever able to read me as well as she did, but as well as she read me she was still unsure of how I felt about her and I couldn't understand how she could doubt my devotion to her.

I now watched as Sam kneeled over Leah's body once more, he frowned at the body and a mixture of emotions and memories went through him. He was sad but more so relieved by her death, his confused feelings for Leah caused conflict in his marriage and he considered her an obstacle that he no longer had to avoid. He had no idea how badly I wanted to kill him it took every ounce of patience to stay stationed where I was sitting. I imagined myself walking up to him casually and ripping his warped sick heart from his chest but I remained my composure for Leah's sake. I vowed in that moment that I would get Sam back maybe not by death maybe with something worse. "Bye LeeLee you will be missed," he kissed her on the forehead and then left her body and I flinched slightly then looked away. At least his wife's emotions were more genuine, she embraced the body, cried and thought about all the time they had wasted staying away from each other. _We should have never let a man tear us apart now I will never have my best friend back_.

After more grieving and crying the coroner came in with his stretcher everyone left so that they could lift Leah's body to the gurney. "Sir could I have one more moment please." I said pathetically. Once they left; I leaned in and looked at Leah's face again I hated that the last emotion she had was hurt and pain. "Look Clearwater, I'm sorry I'm stupid and I'm sorry, you can wake up now!" I paused hoping that maybe this was some twisted trick she learned how to perform, of course logically I knew better. "Leah, you can't leave me here with all these people we were supposed to be a team and what about little Ness." I remembered the way she cried over Leah's body, Esme had to pry her off of Leah so the others could say goodbye. "We need you! I love you more than I have ever loved anything in my entire existence . . . anything. If you come back I will let you take as much time as you need figuring things out and I will understand if you decide that we can't make this work but I need you to come back. I don't want you Leah I need you . . . so much."

* * *

Chapter 13

Well I'm dead and it kinda sucks my thoughts echoed into the darkness. I hated darkness and my spirit was obviously stuck in it. "So this is Hell?" I questioned the darkness, my life had been full of darkness I would have hoped that my afterlife would have been a little brighter even if it was full of fire and brimstone, that would be an upgrade from the darkness I was experiencing.

"It's not Hell exactly it's more like limbo or purgatory," the familiar voice that had been acting as my conscience spoke in calm tones and the young woman that I had met in my dreams before made her presence known. "I could create more of a calming scene for if you'd like." As she spoke the blackness turned into my favorite spot on Earth. I sat on the ground and she did the same.

"Well what comes next?" I said ready to find out if I was being transported to Heaven or Hell.

"That's the wrong question; the question is . . . are you dead?" She smirked

"Well am I?" I huffed I didn't like riddles, Cullen liked to be all wordy and shit I was nice enough not to tell him annoyed the hell out of me. I'd rather he just tell me what he wanted and I would give a simple yes or no answer.

"Do you want to be?" The lady arched her eyebrow at me.

"No, I've got unfinished business and shit, oh crap I shouldn't say shit if I'm dead should I? It could affect where I'm going to end up right?" She laughed at me.

"Everything you do matters whether you are dead or alive in that respect makes no difference, you have to account for your every action." She said matter of factly, "like the fact that you were intimate with a married man," she mused, "and the fact that you resent your mother for loving your cousin more than you."

"Whatever," I got up to walk away from this chick, I mean I was dead for crying out loud and I still couldn't get away from the things that caused me stress in my life. As soon as I turned away from the woman she right back in my face.

"You cannot escape me Leah, I'm part of you, well sort of." She walked away from me and seemed kind of confused by something.

"Look I don't want to talk about what was going on in my life before I died. I was screwing everything up I was losing everything that mattered to me." I held my stomach and realized I wasn't wearing my red dress anymore. I was wearing this silky draped white fabric that was similar to what the woman in front of me had on.

"Daughter, you're not dead, I pulled your spirit so that I could conference with you. I needed to tell you that you cannot harbor your feelings inside anymore; your powers are now controlled by your emotions by harboring ill feelings inside it's like turning your powers on yourself . . . it's like involuntarily shooting yourself in the head."

"Well since you know so much, what am I? And who the hell are you for that matter?" She smiled at me as I glared at her.

"You would ask the two questions that I can't answer," she sighed, "just know that I've watched you since the day you were born. I have scouted you; you are to take my place and if you make through today, tomorrow you will wake up with all my powers and the knowledge to use them." She touched my face the more I looked at her the more I realized that I did kind of look like her.

"Why do you keep calling me your daughter? Why can't you tell me who you are?" She looked at me with distraught and conflicted eyes. "You have to learn everything you seek I cannot just give you the information . . . no matter how much I may want to."

"If you know me so well then you know I hate this evasive crap!" I huffed and turned my back on her.

"I know," she wrapped her arms around me, "clarity will come with daybreak." As she hugged me a feelings of warmth, comfort, and safety tingled throughout my body. "Are you ready to go back?" I sighed and touched her hand.

"Yeah, beam me up," I laughed at my little _Star Trek_ knowledge, after the day I spent with Emmett watching that marathon I'd never be the same.

"I have to reactivate your heart, it's going to hurt." She looked at me apologetically then I felt as my heart began to beat and the burn ripped through my body once more. It was like someone was punching me in the chest repeatedly I dropped to my knees and gasped in all hopelessness for the pain to subside.

* * *

When I awakened I was heard a zipping sound at the end of the table and I realized I was being sealed up in a bag, I reached out and stopped the person from covering my face. The little old man eyes widened in horror as he ran out of the kitchen screaming, I noticed the word coroner on the back of his jacket and was shocked that they had called a coroner in so quickly. Was my family so happy to get rid of me that they didn't even think to send me to a hospital first? I unzipped myself, stood upright, and smoothed the fabric of my dress. "This day just get weirder and weirder." I sighed. I heard all of the crying and mourning going on in the other room. Then the pause as the old man ran through them all. Carlisle was the first person to walk back into the kitchen his eyes widened in disbelief.

"How did you?" He shook his head, "it doesn't make sense you _were_ dead!"

"Can we move outta the kitchen please; I'm don't want everyone to come in here, for some reason I'm feeling a little claustrophobic." We stepped out the back door and the wind greeted me kindly, it whipped my hair behind me and danced around me; I sighed enjoying it's feel as Carlisle watched me.

"Do you know what happened to you?" He touched my shoulder.

"Sort of, but you wouldn't believe me if I told you," I smirked, "it is nothing that can be explained medically that's for sure." He nodded understanding.

"Trust me I understand that some things just can't be explained medically." He said pointing to himself and laughing, he still stared at me expecting an explanation.

"It has to do with what I'm becoming and the power I possess. I'm still not exactly sure what I am but I know I'm not human." I frowned as I tried to unravel the tangled conversation I had with the spirit conscious lady.

"Obviously . . . humans don't come back to life after being dead for over an hour." He laughed and sat down on the stoop, I sat down beside him. We sat silently for a few minutes he seemed contented to be in my presence I didn't feel like leaving him because my spirit felt clear with him, nothing about me felt heavy or weighted down with intense emotions. I sighed and enjoyed the mild wind that ran through the area again, the looked and the clear starlit night.

"I love nights like these . . . they bring clarity ya know?" I said thoughtfully looking up at the sky, then Carlisle's abrupt bell like laughter ran through the area.

"The sky is beautiful," he looked up too and then looked back at me. I rested my head on his shoulder, not because we were particularly close but because I needed to lean on someone to feel protected.

"Carlisle . . . I'm in love with your son." I closed my eyes and sighed, it felt good to tell somebody the truth for a change. I might as well get used to being the old me again the one the held no punches in regards to everybody.

"I know," he laughed.

"Do you know that I'm pissed at him too? He said the stupidest sh-crap to me tonight; he told me he didn't want me, when I know full well he does, but as crazy as today was I really didn't need to hear him say that. It really hurt me." I looked down I couldn't believe that I was using Carlisle as my personal Dr. Phil right now but I didn't care, I knew that if I talked to Carlisle about my feelings if was just as good as talking to Edward and I didn't know if I would have the balls to have the conversation with him right away.

"Why would he say that?" Carlisle seemed really confused.

"Because I wouldn't tell my family that I loved him, that I wanted to be with him, and that he is the cream in my coffee." I rolled my eyes, "he didn't give me a chance to process anything from today. He expected me to be happy about his divorce that I found out about like two minutes ago, confess my undying love for him, and start screaming from the roof tops. If he knew me at all he knew that I wasn't for that kind of shit. There's a lot of things to be considered."

"I agree with you," Carlisle nodded, "quite a few people are not going to be happy about you two 'socializing'."

"I'm not even sure if I want to go through the drama. I mean, just looking at the way he handled this situation, he flew off the handle and was ready to dismiss me because things didn't go the way he wanted them to . . . it was a little childish. I don't want to end up with someone who thinks that I'm going to cater to his every whim . . . we wouldn't last two seconds." Carlisle nodded as I vented and sat quietly once I finished.

"I can't tell you what to do but I will tell you that you two need to be decided in whatever decision you make before Alice makes her presence known, because she will have an agenda and if she doesn't want the two of you together then you won't be she'll make sure of it. At least if you come to the decision to part ways on your own it can be cordial." He sighed, "Edward is going to be really hurt." I don't think he said it to influence my decision it was just a fact.

"He'll live." I tried to sound like I didn't care but failed horribly.

"He may not want to," Carlisle shook his look of concern and then stood up offering me his hand, "can I escort you back into the land of the living?" He smirked.

When we walked into the party area everyone looked at us. Ness came flying over to me and embracing me ramming her head into my stomach almost leaving my breathless. "Don't you ever do anything that stupid again!" She cried I wasn't exactly sure what she thought I had done but I just held her and yelled at me and cried. "I thought you were DEAD! That I was never gonna see you again. You're my mom what I'm gonna do without you I need you! You're the only one that understands me!" Did the little leech just call me her mom; we'd have to talk about that later. I appreciated the fact that she loved me that much but she needed to understand that Bella was her mom.

"I'm here kid, don't worry!" She continued to sob and held me tighter. I came to the conclusion that she wasn't going to let me go so I lifted her and balanced the majority of her weight on my hip so that I could move around. I hugged my mom next because she looked like she was going to have a nervous breakdown. She held on to me and squeezed both me and Ness tightly.

"I'm so sorry, more sorry than you know," she whispered in my ear. I just nodded I didn't want everyone I came in contact with to cry the day was long enough as it was I didn't need all this dreary shit.

"So as everyone can see I'm very much alive. I don't know what the hell happened so don't ask. I do know that I'm not going to dwell on it though. What were going to do before I died for a minute . . ." I looked at the kid.

"Karaoke." The kid commented with her head nestled in the nook of my shoulder.

"We should do that then don't you think?" I smiled as I jostled her around and she laughed. Then I looked at everybody else. "Or does anybody need to leave?" Everybody just looked at each other like they were dazed and confused. "I'll take that as a no . . . so the way I like to do is to put everyone's name on a piece of paper but the names in a hat and call people up randomly and everyone get a fair opportunity to make a fool of themselves." I laughed. Seth got up and started some music and helped me create a more fun atmosphere, he was also the first to put his name in my Dr. Seuss hat. "Emily you want to call out the names?" I asked because I know she did she always used to, she smiled ran up to me and hugged me before pulling the first name.

"Rebecca you get to go first," Emily laughed we all knew that Becca was a little wasted she had taken a couple double shots of vodka after I came back from the dead sort of speak.

"Grrreat now everyone's gonnna her me sound stupid, whatevs." She grabbed the mic, "I want to sing . . . Iris by Coldplay." She did pretty good she only messed up twice, Becca had a good voice very deep and sultry but with the booze influence it just made her sound like a man.

"Next is Jakey," Emily smiled and Jacob groaned.

"Are passes allowed I don't want to do this." He countered.

"If you didn't want to do it why'd you put you name in the hat stupid!" I rolled my eyes at him and popped him on the head with the mic.

"Please Jake do it for me." Ness pouted innocently and his eyes went to mush, she shouldn't use the poor fool like that.

"Fine . . .," He grumbled and flipped the songs in Seth's notebook. He finally settled on Apologize by One Republic. As much as I like Jacob he can't sing worth a damn, I had to look down to avoid laughing at him. I had to admit that it was sweet that he was singing to Ness, he had been trying to apologize to Ness for some time now and this was the first time that it seemed like her will was actually breaking.

"Next is Carlisle," Emily said she didn't seemed very excited about hearing him sing. I could understand where she was coming from I mean all of the vampires voices are kind of dreaming it would be weird if they couldn't sing well.

"Can my wife sing with me?" He asked as if there were really rules to this game.

"Sure why not." I said I watched the way he assisted Esme to the middle of the floor. He treated as if she were some kind of royalty. I wanted someone to look at me the way he stared at her as if she were priceless. They sang Look After You by the Fray; it was cute Carlisle obviously knew the words and Esme really, really didn't, he smirked every time she missed a word and every time he smirked she elbowed him in the gut.

"I want to go next!" Rachel said pulling Paul by the arm, Paul and Rachel were the only ones that seemed to be affected in a positive way by the imprinting process. Rachel was actually able to remove the stick that was up Paul's ass and make him behave like a normal person. Case and point the song they choose was Black Eyed Peas My Humps; it was hilarious seeing Paul try to rap and Rachel wiggling around like an idiot, the girl was always good for a laugh. I wanted what they had too, someone to bring out my best qualities and someone I could act stupid with.

While Emily called the next couple of people to sing and act stupid, I raided the food on the bar; I had just realized I hadn't really eaten all day. Mom's barbeque chicken, the perfect end to today, the sight of it made a tear hit my eye, I was about to throw down. As soon as I got a couple pieces I went to grab a seat and practically bumped into Edward. One of my chicken legs abandoned my plate fell on his shoe. I pouted at the loss of its deliciousness. I kneeled down to pick up the chicken and clean his shoe off and my eyes spotted something else that was even more delicious. I remembered the first time I tasted Edward's cock it reminded me of sucking on everlasting vanilla Popsicle, its wonder they don't really have popsicles in that flavor, trust me I've looked.

"Leah?" He said breaking me from my memory of our oral escapades. I looked up at him I was so tempted to just unzip his pants right here, I doubt he would fight me very hard. It was sad that sex consumed so much of my brain when it came to him. An hour ago I was telling his father that I didn't think it was going to work between us and now I'm fantasizing about licking him so hard his eyes roll into the back of his head. I shook my head and tried to clear my mind.

"What?" I said as I rose to my feet. I sighed at uncomfortable tension between us, I moved past him and threw the chicken away and started to reload my plate.

"I just wanted to let you know that I know your concerns and that . . . I'm just glad you're alive." He said solemnly.

"Me too." He went to walk away and that stupid pain ran through my chest again. "Edward we need to . . ."

"Edward, it's your turn" Emily said and he looked at her and then back at me as if he were asking for my permission. I just stared at him blankly it was his decision as what he wanted to do. He walked in front of the rest of the party.

"I'm not very good at karaoke, but I gave Seth the melody to two songs and he blended them together." He flipped through the songs on Seth's computer, after a while a hauntingly beautiful melody started to play.

_She was standing there by  
The Broken Tree  
Her hands are all twisted  
She was pointing at me  
I was dammed by the light coming  
Out of her eyes  
She spoke with a voice that  
Disrupted the sky  
She said "walk on over here to  
The bitter shade"  
I will wrap you in my arms  
And you will know you have been saved  
Let me sign  
Let me . . . _

The melody began to quicken and morph into something a little more up tempo

_let me be your only one  
Be the one, be the one and only  
Wait for me; let me be your only one  
Will you be, be the one and only  
Wait for me; let me be your only one_

_They're two lovers in the night  
Waiting on the sun to rise  
Passing ships into the night  
Under different skies_

But you just whisper what you said  
One last time  
I could have sworn I heard you say  
That you are mine

Faded flowers in your hand  
The best that I could do  
It's the only way I've had  
Of reaching you

I never saw it like you did  
Didn't know that it was there  
You don't see it in your hand  
Until the end

As Edward continued to sing my mind willed me not to be sucked in by what he was doing but my heart was overwhelmed by his sentiment. The fact that he was staring directly at me as he sung made our situation no better, I could see the side glances and hear the whispers. I realized how much I really didn't give a damn about them (when it came to this anyway). I wanted to wrap my arms around Edward and tell him we will figure this shit out. So when the song ended I made movement to do just that and he was smirking before I could even make my way to him, he opened his arms and just as I was about to jump into them a calculating bitch walked through the door.

"Hey everyone, you know I hate to miss a party!" Alice skipped into the building Bella and Jasper only a couple steps behind her. She made her way to us pushing me to the side so that she could hug Edward. "Did you miss me brother dear?" She beamed and he said nothing. "And what about you?" She smiled at me all the while carrying a lethal glare, "I know _you _missed me."

* * *

_Author's Note: _

_So Alice is back I wonder what news she's brought with her? Will her appearance drive a bigger wedge between Leah and Edward? I know it's a little weird that I blended two songs for Edward's part but I couldn't choose. Thanks to Stephycats7785 for suggesting the first song. __Next chapter will be the reveal what Leah is turning into! This is your last chance to guess before you know. As always read and review. _


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

"So have I missed any interesting events since I've been gone?" Alice said turning her attention back to her brother.

"You already know the decision I've made so why go through these dramatics?" He glared viciously at his sister and she held her crazy ass smile in place.

"How do you know that I know anything?" She questioned with her hands on her hips, I looked back at Bella who smiled all the while. My skin started to boil, she must've known that Alice was coming back and whether Edward signed the divorce papers or not didn't matter to Alice, she would physically force the two together if she had to.

"You must know something or else you wouldn't have asked Bella to place her shield over Jasper and you while in my presence." The acidic burn started to attack my chest again. I clenched at my chest slightly and Edward looked past his sister and focused on my face. I tried to straighten my posture and look at ease, the last thing I needed was for Alice to find out I had a weakness.

"You're so smart brother I could never fool you, I do know about your little attempt to end your marriage to the woman of your dreams, good thing I shredded the papers and stopped you from making a horrible mistake. I also know that not only has Leah broken her end of our deal, she's been living with you as well." She turned her focus on me again. "I'm going to have to have him checked for fleas before allowing him back into Bella's good graces.

"The living arrangement was not her fault," Carlisle now stood beside me, "Edward needed a chance to make the decision for himself. I did what was best for my son and gave him that opportunity." Alice stepped back, she was obviously shocked by Carlisle's approval of me, but it wasn't enough to make her back down.

"It wasn't your call to make Carlisle. I know what's best for Edward in the long run since I'm the one that see's the future." She folded her arms in a matter of fact way.

"Maybe that's why you don't want him with me, because I'm a shifter you can't see me, if he's with me you can't see him, and you can't control him." I stayed seated because I still felt a little weak. "It makes me question how you can really know if a life with Bella is better for him or not, you have nothing to show for a comparison." She looked at me blankly and then grinned darkly.

"Correction you were a shifter . . . you're not anymore." She took way too much pleasure in delivering that message. It was a harsh blow hearing her say it out loud she was right I'm not a shifter right now but I'm not sure if that power has fully left me.

"Well what the hell is she then?" Jacob asked as he sat down beside me. "I think we all have the right to know what she is because her well being affects all of us." Everyone leaned or stepped forward anticipating what she would say next.

"I owe the rest of you nothing!" Alice said defensively.

"Sweetheart, I hate to say it but Jacob's right we need to know what we are dealing with. Is Leah human or not?" Esme said in a calm voice.

"I'm not human, I already know that; just tell me what information you found. Then you'll get what you want and I will go away and disappear and you're create-a-couple will be saved from the big bad Leah." I laughed at my slight stupidity. Edward looked at me in horror I guess he figured that I wouldn't keep my end of the bargain but with the way Alice was acting it may be for the best if I went a way for a while.

"How do you . . . know you're not human?" I detected a slight bit of fear in her eyes. Her disposition and change of stature intrigued me; it was almost as if she was afraid of me.

"I just know, it's an instinctive sort of feeling from within . . . look, I'm about five minutes from saying the hell with if you can keep your information and shove it up your ass! Then I will do what I please with your brother . . . everything and anything I please all night long." I smirked knowing that I got under her skin.

"Alice, maybe you should just . . ." Jasper began to talk and Alice cut him off placing her hand in the air.

"You are right honey, I should come clean," she kneeled in front of me, "I couldn't find anything Leah . . . I'm sorry I really tried maybe you're not a human now but maybe you're still in the process of becoming human, there's no other explanation." She touched my shoulder and gave me a look of pity and then walked away from me, when a young woman appeared out of nowhere stopping Alice in her tracks.

"I told you she wouldn't be truthful." The young woman had long jet black hair and skin of copper like mine, she wore all black and shockingly calm look on her face to be standing so close to a vampire. I looked at her eyes to see if they carried a red like glow, but they were brown, normal. Alice looked at the woman in horror; if vampires could urinate she would have been standing in a huge puddle of her own piss.

"That sucks; I was so hoping her spirit was pure and truthful." Another young woman had entered the room and was now sitting beside me.

"What the hell is going on?" Ness took the words right out of my mouth. The kid crossed the table and wrapped her arms around me protectively.

"Excuse us young one, we forgot our manners, my name is Rozene," she extended her hand to Ness, "and this is my friend Taima." Taima nodded towards the girl. "Your Aunt sought us out for answer that we graciously answered in hopes that the information would make it back to the next of our kind." Rozene shot a glance my way. "Imagine our disappointment when it seemed we discovered the information that we had given her would be harbored and was obtained in vain." Ness looked at the unfamiliar woman and was obviously baffled, rightfully so I didn't have the first clue what they were talking about.

"So Leah's what you are?" She said slowly making sure that she was thinking correctly.

"Not yet but by daybreak she will be." The woman smiled brightly at the girl, who smiled back at her.

"What are you?" Ness leaned in closer and touched a strand of woman's hair. Ness seemed to be truly captivated by her presence, the woman was beautiful. Both of them were for that matter it was like there was a glow about them that came from there spirit and made them almost like angels. Rozene looked to her counterpart almost for permission before she spoke. Taima looked around to everyone and then nodded her head in approval.

"It is usually not done this way, usually are kind would learn of their ability on their own. However, due to the potential threat on Leah's life we feel the need to intervene very slightly . . . only until daybreak."

"By daybreak she will not need our advice or protection." Tamia added. "I'm glad we came I was curious what you looked like and tomorrow your transformation will be complete so we will see the new you as well."

"She's already beautiful I can't see what the rest of the transformation can offer her." Rozene responded as they looked me over. It was a little odd having two women circle me like a vultures everyone else looked confused too, all except for Emmett and Embry both of them seemed to be enjoying the show.

"Okay . . . this is not weird at all." I said with all the sarcasm I could muster.

"Sorry, child we apologize." Rozene laughed then touched my shoulder. "Back to the question at hand what are we. I've heard us be referred to as many things, angels, spirits, and goddesses. The proper term is a deity but we like to be referred to as elements. We possess certain characteristics and abilities that make the elements of life possible and we will fight to uphold the balance."

"So what does that mean, what can I do?"

"So far there is only the two of us and our powers are very different from one another's, the one thing we do have in common is our ability for our emotions to affect the whether." Rozene smiled, "When you're sad it rains, when you're pissed or angry thunder claps, when you are uneasy or in deep thought the wind wraps itself around you and my favorite . . . when you're at peace you will see a clear sky that will almost make you cry."

"I think I've witness the changes in the weather." I said taking this all end. I remembered the walk in the rain after that dinner date from hell.

"That started early for me too," Taima said, "after daybreak you be able to control the weather and not just manipulate it accidentally, anything else you want to know we will address in a more private setting." Taima said looking at the others. "Other entities aren't supposed to know of our existence we can only allow them to hear but so much."

"We would love to speak with you further and tell of our powers and answer any other questions we can. Is there a place we can convene?" Rozene said cheerfully.

"You can use my cabin," Emily said quickly, "Sam and I will stay at Sue's house." Sam looked angered but his look quickly changed, he nodded and agreed with his wife.

"Excellent, should we go there's lots to discuss before dawn." I looked at Edward and Ness, I wanted to stay with them there was still so much stuff that needed to be sorted out, but first and foremost I needed answers so I left.

* * *

I hadn't been in Sam's cabin in years, it was still exactly the same, all the furniture and knick knacks in the same places. I sat down on the couch and was surrounded by the smell of Sam, instead of feeling sad I felt kind of nauseas, I couldn't believe that I used to enjoy his smell. I shook off my idle memories and focused on the two women in front of me. "So . . . this isn't some sort of trap is it?" I said as an afterthought Alice could have hired them to knock me off and my dumb ass is stuck in a building with them absolutely secluded. Fortunately for me they both found my question hilarious.

"Are you always this guarded?" Rozene asked as she calmed her laughter.

"It's a good thing really, you'll need to be in the future. They'll always be some dumb ass that thinks they can kill a deity and they always end up dead." Taima said, "It's a shame it's how most of the most powerful fall, they want to be the most powerful being but there are just some forces that you just can't fight." She smirked slightly and Rozene rolled her eyes.

"I can understand your doubt child, would it help you rest easier if you were to see an exhibition of our powers, we don't really get the opportunity to fight for show; this should be fun." Rozene hopped up and followed Taima outside. I stood by the front door frame and was as the conversed with one another.

"It's best if we go one at a time." Taima said as she sat on the stoop beside and watched Rozene as I did. She closed her eyes and the wind began to whip harshly against her skin and within minutes she was elevated into the air. I watched as she rose higher and higher into the sky until it looked like she became one of the stars. "Rozene is older and more experienced; I'm stronger way more powerful, she's just so creative with the things that she does."

"Can you fly like she can?" I asked still in awe of what she had done.

"She's not flying, she's manipulating the wind so that it will carry her and yes I can just not as easily as she does." After a few minutes Rozene's feet graceful touched the ground and smiled at both of us, "your turn Taima dear?"

"Everyone has something they do best . . . mine doesn't require that much concentration." She pressed her hands against her forehead and the earth began to rumble and shake violently. She didn't showcase her powers nearly as long as Rozene did.

"Why'd you stop that was awesome?" I said amazed by how much land she could cover, trees in the far distance were still shaking.

"Manipulating the earth is dangerous it cause buildings to crumble and the involuntary death of many," she said seriously, "but it's what I do best".

"Can I ask some personal questions?" I said bluntly I needed some things answered.

"I'm sure you're going to ask basic questions like why we exist, right?" Taima said plainly, "we keep the balance and safety of all supernatural entities; if we didn't exist the human race wouldn't stand a chance."

"Then she would probably ask what other supernatural entities our there, besides vampires and shape shifters of course?" Rozene commented, "There are tons I specialize in the destruction of witches and zombies, they kind of go hand in hand because nine times out of ten if you have a zombie problem then witches are nearby." She laughed like she had told some kind of funny joke but I sure as hell didn't get it.

"It's funny because witches are usually the ones that conjure the undead." Taima explained, "You have to explain these things Rozene, it's not like she know anything yet."

"Sorry, it will be so much easier talking to you in the morning," she huffed, "maybe you should just rest and we will resume our conversation in the morning?" She said as she stroked my hair in motherly sort of fashion.

"I'm not tired and I still have questions," I turned to Taima, "Do you kill zombies too?" I felt like some little kid that was listening to a horror story.

"No, I actually help hide and preserve the life of the children of the moon and the werewolves."

"I thought that the Volturi had killed all of the children of the moon?" I said confused, "or at least that's what Edward told me."

"They think they did and that's what I want them to think both the children of the moon and werewolves will be critical in the take down of the Volturi when it becomes necessary." She sighed.

"They'll be a take down of the Volturi?" I said confused, "but Aro has been in power for centuries."

"Very true but he is one of the entities that I spoke of before that wants to be the most powerful being of all time. He fought with our fallen sister Araina, she was the strongest of all of us, she fought him and could have killed him but for some reason unknown to me she spared his life. To return the favor Aro killed her husband and her child, her heartbreak was so devastating that she killed herself. Remember the only way an element can be killed is by an element, Aro had no chance against her, but he took her every reason for living so she didn't want to anymore." My heart ached for Araina, but how could she just let Aro win? If he had killed my family I would have killed him and his whole fucking army.

"A new coven is to rise to power in the vampire world and encourage a new way of living for their kind. Do you know any coven's that live an alternative lifestyle?" Taima arched her eyebrow at me.

"The Cullens are going to be the new Volturi?" They both nodded.

"It's destined," Rozene said, "but first there will be a war and lives will be lost."

"That's where the children of the moon come into play. I love a good element of surprise." Taima laughed, "They have been waiting for centuries to get their revenge their time is coming."

"Okay I have another question, what's the difference between the children of the moon and the werewolves? I thought it was the same thing." I said thoughtfully.

"Children of the moon look like shape shifters and fight like shape shifters but are controlled by the moon, and they are stronger than a shape shifter. The werewolves . . . are on another realm of supernatural ability. They walk on their hind legs, are more scary and menacing, and our stronger than the other entities mentioned. When they transform their human mind disappears and is replaced with the thought patterns of the monsters they are, they will destroy anything in their path even their own kind." Taima spoke with such conviction; I was intrigued I desperately wanted to see what they looked like.

"I could help you control them if you'd like?" I said already making up in my mind that I would go with her and help maintain the beasts that would help take down the asshole Aro and once he is overthrown I would reunite with Edward and Ness.

"I appreciate the thought but I think you have your own purpose." Taima said, "Besides it's not good for our kind to be in the same place for long."

"Why is that?"

"We all have separate emotions and it would wreak havoc on the climate and atmosphere for our temperaments not to be on the same accord." Rozene started into the house, "Do you know if the young couple has any tea?" We moved back into the house and I made them tea. I sat the two cups in front of them and stared at me curiously. "What?"

"Didn't you make yourself some?" Rozene spoke as she rose the cup to her lips.

"Tea isn't really my thing?" I said as I sat on floor and watched them; they were both so proper they sat all straight with their legs crossed. I couldn't be what they were; I mean they looked the part, like someone to be praised.

"It's not mine either," Taima said, "I prefer a cold beer but Rozene swears that tea is the best thing to drink to calm the nerves." Taima rolled her eyes and then took another sip of the tea.

"I enjoy a glass of wine just as much as the next person but alcohol is a depressant if you drink enough your life will be filled with sad rainy nights." She said as if she were reading off some all important rule books.

"It's just one beer we're not talking about heavy intoxication." I said in defensive of the wonderful cold beverage.

"Try tea you may like it." Rozene handed me her cup.

"I've had tea before . . . I don't like tea!" I yelled, then thunder clapped that shook the house.

"Dude you gotta control you temper," Taima said handing me a beer from the fridge, "you may accidentally hurt someone you really care about."

"Like the young vampire that you didn't want to leave," Rozene gave a knowing smile in my direction.

"Yeah Ness is a really special kid." I thought about what she said earlier today, she'd called me her mom, if I had a kid I would have wanted them to end up just like her.

"The kid does mean a lot to you but I was talking about the male," I rolled my eyes they had known me for like two minutes and they were going to call me out about Edward.

"I don't know who you're . . ." _Honesty, remember honesty Leah_, the stupid voice echoed in my head. "Yeah, Edward means a lot to me he's pretty . . . amazing." I groaned but the confession did make me feel good, way, way deep down.

"So you two have engaged in intimacy, how was that? I would imagine that vampires would have impressive stamina." Taima reflected.

"He's really . . . really good." We all laughed.

"Nice," Taima laughed that was the first time they actually looked sort of human since they were here, "you know I've never done that . . . sex thing." I nearly choked on my beer that I had gotten regardless of Rozene's objections.

"WHAT? How old are you exactly?" I said getting closer to her; the conversation was getting interesting again.

"550 years old," she murmured and shifted uncomfortably. True to form the wind whistled around the house and caused the tree branches to hit the windows.

"I can't believe you've been waiting that long to have sex . . . what are you waiting for exactly?"

"The one, my source, Araina's husband was her source, he was the one who could invoke her emotions the quickest and when she was in danger her powers were so strong it was truly unreal." Taima sighed and became dazed by her thoughts. I cleared my throat and she snapped out of it, "Edward seems to be you source, congratulations you didn't have to wait an eternity to find him here in your face." Her tone seemed a little bitter.

"I . . .I I'm sorry." I frowned I could imagine how it feels to walk the earth alone for so long. I realized right then that I didn't want that shit happening to me. In a way she was better than me because I knew that if I had been alone for that long I would've been even bitterer than the previously bitchy Leah that no one could stand.

"Why are you sorry? It's been my choice, it's not like I haven't been hit on or went on dates I just didn't feel the need or desire to be with any of those suitors." Her facial became more playful, "We can test to see if he is your source tomorrow that should be fun." She smiled darkly, I nodded at her then yawned.

"She's tired Taima it's time for her final rest," Rozene said with eagerly pulling me to my feet and leading toward the staircase.

"Finally rest? What am I dying or something?" I stayed grounded making it harder for her to push me.

"No your not dying, after tonight's rest you will no longer need sleep," Rozene chose her words carefully, "you probably could force yourself to sleep but it would be pretty pointless because you will be constantly energized."

"It's good to do when you need to mediate or abandon reality, I've forced on myself a couple of times," Taima said thoughtfully, "don't let the thought scare you, you'll get used to it really quickly." Edward would be pleased with the news that I didn't have to sleep he could now bother me all night.

* * *

After I finished talking with the Elements I walked into Emily's guest room, which had been turned into a nursery the only other place I could sleep was her bed . . . Sam's bed. I lay over the covers and took in scents, I wanted to gag; how was I supposed to sleep in here. I tossed and turned several times before I finally got comfortable. I found myself wondering what it would be like to have Sam enter this room as my husband. I imagined kissing him passionately and removing his shirt pressing my body against his and engaging in the sex we used to have constantly. The thought was interesting but was probably only induced by the strength of his scent, I was no where near as aroused as Edward had made the past few months. Thoughts of Edward and I ran through my mind, all the almost encounters had me so frustrated. I'm not saying that it would have been right if we had fucked while he was still married, I'm just saying I wouldn't be so horny if we did, don't get me wrong my vibrator is great but it's no vampire dick.

Once I finally started to doze off I felt a cold tap on my shoulder. I turned to see Cullen kneeling on the bed in front of me. "Cullen, damn what time is it?" I shifted so I could look at the clock it was 1:30AM, I lay back down and closed my eyes, "you're not supposed to be here."

"I know I wanted to see and make sure you were okay, I wouldn't have tapped you but you weren't fully asleep so I decided to bother you." He smirked as he ran his thumb against my cheek. "I'm so glad you're alive Leah." He kissed my forehead allowing his lips to linger until I felt the sensation down in my panties.

"Yeah, you told me that before." I yawned, stretched and scooted over so he could join me on the bed, "where the hell is the kid Cullen?" I said just as he finished the task of climbing on the bed with me.

"We stayed with Carlisle and Esme tonight. I waited until she was asleep to make my way to you." He had begun stroking my hair and humming softly, "You know you never sang tonight everyone made a mockery of themselves except for you." His laughter shook my body that was against his.

"It's not my fault we were interrupted." I said placing my head on his chest. "So where's Alice?" I bet she was at the house with Ness trying to corrupt her mind with evil information about me.

"No, she staying at the cabin with Bella at least her and Jasper can keep her company." He said thoughtfully.

"Look at you being all considerate toward your ex wife." I snickered.

"When Bella feels alone she does stupid and reckless things. As a human she practically tried to kill herself, I hate to see what she'd attempt as a vampire." I nodded in understanding the last thing the Cullen's needed was for Bella to make a scene and force the Volturi to make yet another appearance in Forks. I sighed and shifted closer to him deep in thought about the decision I had to make and what I was becoming, my fingers toyed mindlessly at his side.

"You're not raping my thoughts are you because some of this shit you're not supposed to know?" I looked up at him and he smiled at me.

"Honestly . . ." I shoved him. "Ow, wait for my answer before you hit me. I was trying to but you thoughts were all over the place." I smirked at him and he knew what I was going to say.

"That means I'm overly . . ." he placed his hand over my mouth.

"Shhh . . ." he replaced his hand with his pointer finger. "You're overly adorable and sexy as sin." He kissed my neck. Once he became distracted in his endeavors his finger made its way into my mouth and attempt to suck the sugary sweet taste off of it. "You're mouth should be put to better use," he smirked and frantically began to undo his jeans within seconds the beautiful cock I'd be waiting to be reunited with was in my sight ready for me to devour.

"One thing Cullen," I said as I lowered my head toward his piece, he jerked with anticipation, "don't ever say you don't want me again because I will knee you in the crotch so hard that I will have you tasting your testicles you understand?" Slight horror took over his face which quickly replace with lust and desire as I licked and sucked slowly on his balls. Before Edward I was never a big oral fan, but he just tasted so sweet, that tasting him anywhere was like sampling some sort of delicacy.

"Oh Leah your mouth's so warm," he grabbed my hair as I took all of him into my mouth, slowly taking him in inch by inch, by the time I had finished this task he was fully erect. He pulled my hair tighter as he began to thrust himself in and out of my mouth. I placed my hands under his shirt and began to dig my nails into his chest creating a trail from his nipples back down to the cock I couldn't get enough off, I maneuvered my jaw so that the friction was tighter against him and he moaned and squirmed with satisfaction. "Shit, I'm . . . I'm . . ." within seconds his salty sweet essence filled my mouth. After he finished I took the time to place little kisses all over his cock, I also traced circles around its head with my tongue. Actually, I licked my way up his whole body ended the encounter in a passionate kiss. He placed his hands around my waist and placed me on my back.

"So your decision?" He panted as he licked and sucked on my neck.

"I'm still thinking on it," I said playfully and he stopped.

"Seriously?"

"What do you think Cullen?" I pulled him into another kiss this time placing as much of my tongue inside of his mouth as possible, a deep moan escaped him as his hand reached for the zipper of my dress. "No."

"I think I kind of have to . . ." he said as he rubbed his hands over my hard nipples.

"I can't do this here, not because I don't want to but outta respect for Emily," I kissed his lips again, "we could finally be in a good place, this would most definitely fuck it up." He stared at my body then contorted his face.

"Well let's go home then," he said pulling me from the bed.

"Edward, they want me to stay here so they can protect me. I'll be home tomorrow." I said pushing him toward the window.

"Are you kicking me out?" He laughed clearly amused by my determination to appease the two women that had just entered my life.

"Sort of I don't want to disappoint them . . . but I will tell . . .I'll tell everyone tomorrow." He pulled me in for one more passionate kiss before disappearing through the window. I looked down at him.

"Tomorrow." He whispered up to me and I nodded. He smiled at me and then disappeared into the trees.

* * *

_Author's Note: _

_I can't wait for tomorrow. I hope everyone got a good feel for what Leah is becoming more information will be in the next chapter. As always read and review. _


	15. Chapter 15

Prelude to Chapter 15

Another Annoying Dream – Leah's POV

_They say reality bites, that maybe true, but the subconscious is one death seeking son of a bitch. In my latest and possibly my last dream of my existence, I sat peacefully in Leah Land by the fort Edward had repaired for me. The area was foggy but forest was so still that I didn't matter. I was about to lie on my back and enjoy the peace and serenity of this fake abyss of no worries, when figure of a man made his way to me from the distance. I stood and prepared myself to fight with what I didn't know I just knew I wasn't going to allow myself to be killed. The stranger finally came into focus when the fog cleared, it was my father standing with his arms reached toward me. _

"_Dad?" He smiled at me and patiently waited for me come meet him half way. "Dad!" I ran to him, I didn't want to miss the opportunity to be in his arms, after all he was the only man that I was proof positive loved me with all of his heart. _

"_Hey sweetlee," he said I as jumped in his arms, "I couldn't miss the opportunity to wish you happy birthday." He squeezed me tightly. _

"_Dad, everything is so crazy right now!" I allowed a couple tears to fall. "I wish you were here I need you so much!" He pulled away from me and he smiled at me with eyes filled of sadness. _

"_I have something from you . . . it will be our secret gift." He whistled and the earth began to rumble. Within seconds my wolf was standing in front of me with golden eyes, well they were too dark to be gold, but too bright to be hazel . . . topaz. The beast snorted a hello to me and I smiled, she lowered her head and allowed me to rub the spot between her ears. _

"_I don't understand," I looked to my dad who was now filled with silent laughter. _

"_She belongs to you, no one and nobody can take her away, no matter what you are she is apart of you." The beast whimpered playfully, "she was just waiting patiently for you adjust to the other part of you, now she's ready to awaken." _

"_Dad god, I love you so much!" I hugged him again, "thank you for bringing her back to me." _

"_Of course sweetlee," he kissed me on the cheek, "it's time for me to go." He started to walk away. _

"_But I'm not ready for you leave yet." I said grabbing his arm and clinging to it, he embraced me once more. _

"_Not to sound like a bad line from a movie, but Leah I'm always with you just because you can't see me doesn't mean I'm not there." He ruffled my hair and disappeared right in front of me. Before I could fully take in his disappearance and feel alone I felt a hand on my shoulder. I didn't have to look at her I knew who it was. _

"_His spirit is at peace you don't have to worry about him." She spoke with sympathy. _

"_He did seem happy." Was all I could think to say to her, I really didn't like talking to anyone about my father's death or what he meant to me. The only people I really shared that information with was Seth and Edward. I tried to talk to my mom about it and she just changed the subject because she didn't want to deal with the hurt. _

"_It is understandable to miss a loss loved one but you have to be careful not carry any resentment behind it because it could . . ." _

"_I know, I know it could kill me." I sighed and rolled my eyes. "That red headed demon got what she deserved. I only wished I had been there to see her die." I remembered witnessing my father's death through Jacob's eyes. The presence of that devil started the end of my normal human life. The woman stood patiently beside me as I ran through memories of my past reliving the hurt and making certain details make sense. "I know who you are." I said as I watched the sadness in her eyes. _

"_Do you now?" She arched her eyebrow at me and smirked. _

"_Araina . . . why did you kill yourself? Why didn't you go after that bastard for killing your family?" She sat on the ground and I did the same. _

"_I didn't kill myself . . . intentionally contrary to what is believed. I tried to cover my feelings and act normal, but masking the hurt and holding it inside burned me alive. I have waited centuries for you so that I can finally be reunited with my child and husband. I have to make sure you can take all of my powers." I could see the eagerness in her eyes and her willingness to make me understand. _

"_I was the oldest, the strongest, and the smartest of our kind; Rozene did not like this and to this day is glad that I disappeared. They are waiting for the return of fire. The one who possesses fire, possesses the knowledge of all elements and is the healer of all things. When you gave your vampire a taste of your blood you healed his thirst he shall never feel that ache again. This is a very dangerous talent to possess around vampires they will try to kill you for your golden blood." _

"_My blood's golden?" It didn't look gold when he drank it, it looked like regular old disgusting blood. _

"_Not literally." She laughed. "Do you understand why you possess fire?" I nodded. _

"_Because to kill a vampire you must dismember the body and burn all appendages . . .vampire 101." I smirked and she nodded. _

"_If the volturi find out about your blood they will come for you. Once they realize what you are they will try to kill everyone around you . . . everyone you love is at risk. The great thing is at least your husband and child aren't human and defenseless like mine were." Her deep sadness colored her eyes again. _

"_I don't have a husband or a child." I stated bluntly and I would keep it that way if that meant keeping them away from danger._

"_Don't lie child," she chided, "whether or not you claim your vampire and his child, the war is coming and you will be united with them. Why deny yourself the joy of calling him your own?" She rubbed my back, "Don't be stupid like I was daughter." I looked at the woman that now smiled at me with sad eyes. _

"_Can I ask why? Why you picked me?" I huffed. _

"_It's in your bloodline on your mother's side. At first I actually followed your mother but she doesn't hold the same strength that you do. As soon as you were born I knew you were the one." She ran her fingers through my hair. "We are connected by blood and by me bestowing my powers to you, that makes you my daughter. It only makes sense I have loved you everyday of your life." She smiled fully and embraced me, the crazy thing was that I actually felt love for this woman too. I felt perfectly at peace with her holding me and telling me all of these things. _

"_I love you too." I murmured to her. _

"_See how easy it was to say those words? Why do you have such a hard time saying it to him?" She pointed in the distance to Edward standing with his arms open to me. _

"_Edward!" I stood up eager to approach him but I didn't want to leave Araina behind, "You should meet him." I went to look back at her and she was gone. I felt his cold touch around my waist once he approached me. _

"_What's wrong love?" I looked at him with panic in my eyes. She had left and I still had a million questions to ask her. _

"_Edward!" I grabbed him possessively holding him so that he couldn't disappear like the other two figures I loved so dearly. _

* * *

Chapter 15

"Edward," I murmured as I rolled onto my stomach grabbing my pillow, "don't go." Maybe it was my love that made people disappear; it seemed like all the people that truly cared about me vanished into the sky. I couldn't allow that to happen to Edward. As soon as I thought about the possibility of Edward vanishing I heard the slight creek of the door opening.

"Leah!" Ness jumped on the bed snapping me from my thoughts. "Wake up!" She laughed.

"Lucky for you I was already awake you little brat!" I said as I wrapped her in a mini choke hold, then changed my embrace into something more loving and protective. "How was your night?" I asked while I smoothed her hair.

"Uncomfortable to say the least . . . we stayed at Carlisle's, Alice and mom was there. When they thought I was asleep they all starting arguing in what they considered hushed tones." She squeezed me tighter. "Alice and Esme want dad with mom." She looked up at me wide eyed expecting me to get upset.

"Yeah, I know." Was all I said and she looked up and me as if I had hurt her.

"That's it! You're not going to fight them!" She distanced herself from me as if I had offended her. I knew her game plan she wanted to make us three some sort of make shift family unit but what she has had these few weeks is probably the closest thing she will get to that being a reality.

"There's nothing to fight over. You're dad is a grown man; he has to make his own decisions. Nobody should be trying to sway him one way or the other . . . but . . ." I debated telling the young girl about my feelings for her father. I wanted to address everyone at the same time but maybe it would be best to have the conversation with her now. I mean I truly cared for the kid to the point of loving her, and even though I didn't know what the future held I wanted her to clearly understand my feelings.

"But what?" She glared at me.

"I do love your dad very much." She smiled and bounced up and down on the bed.

"Yay! You finally said it! This is so great we can be a family and can move away from everybody else and go explore the world together! And you and dad can get married!" She squealed.

"WHOA! Pump you brakes kid, no one's getting married anytime soon!" I sighed and nervously repositioned myself on the bed. The ideas in her head were a little more concrete than I thought they were, but then again it makes sense she is young she still probably looks at marriage as some sort of beautiful thing . . . hell I thought it was until I turned nineteen and my perspective on the world changed.

"Why not? You both love each other isn't that what two people in love do?" She countered allowing her naive thinking and youth to become evident.

"Did your father put you up to this? Because I swear to God I will kick his ass!" The girl looked at me shocked.

"No he didn't, I'm just trying to figure out why you don't love my dad enough to marry him? I mean the two of you want to have sex bad enough!" She huffed. "You know how many fake naps I've had in my lifetime trust me I've heard things!" I wanted to die I thought of the many times when I was here before when Edward would but her down for a nap and we would entertain ourselves.

"Renesmee, marriage isn't something to be rushed into . . . I love your dad but I have to adjust to a lot of things, _we_ have to adjust to everything that I'm becoming. Your mom needs time to adjust to us being together and so do our families it isn't just about us." I rubbed my chest the fire was roaring inside of me, I had to learn what emotions fully control this so I knew when to avoid them, the burn was extremely hard to contain. Maybe I was feeling pressure because I wasn't being fully honest with the girl. "Plus, as much as I want your father there's no real guarantee that this will work." She nodded.

"In life there are no guarantees." She said like she was reading off some fortune cookie and I laughed. "Seriously Leah you can't be completely sure about anything in life." She cuddled against me. "Except for the fact that I love you and that my dad loves you." She kissed my cheek.

"I don't kid you could be lying." I laughed.

"If I'm lying I'm dying." We both laughed.

* * *

After my conversation with Ness I went downstairs to address the rest of people from last night's party who apparently had all convened in Emily and Sam's living room to lay witness to something . . . what I have no idea.

"Good morning?" I asked as I walked past them all and to the kitchen. It was the nicest way I could think to ask why the hell they were here (I mean besides Sam and Emily of course).

"Good morning sweetheart!" My mom rushed to me and hugged me. "Is there anything I can get you anything I can do for you my sweet angel?" She squeezed my cheeks. I knew how my mom felt about mythology and the tales of our tribe, she probably thought that she had to seek good favor with me or some shit.

"Yeah, you can chill out, I can't bless your crops mom jeez." I pulled her hands from my face. I noticed everyone's eyes on me. "What?"

"We want to know what the hell is going on with you Leah?" Jacob said honestly, "yesterday was crazy and weird as hell. I mean first you drop dead and everyone is crying and then the next minute everyone is singing like they're in High School Musical." I laughed at the analogy and the fact that Jacob watched the Disney Channel the dude never ceased to amaze me. "What's going on Leah?" He grabbed my shoulders and searched my eyes for some sort of confession.

"Jake, she clearly had some sort of panic attack! Why care about her? She doesn't care about anyone else besides herself." Bella said putting her hand on Jake's shoulder leading him away from me. It was sad that she was still acting so possessive over two men that clearly wanted nothing to do with her and that she was acting so juvenile right in front of her daughter. Jake glared at her and tried to pull away but in human form he wasn't strong enough but is was obvious to everyone his discontent.

"You should let go he doesn't want you to touch him." I said casually as I sat down beside Ness who was sitting beside Embry. She was watching the interaction between Jake and her mom and she seemed a little annoyed but she kept her composure beautifully. Then I noticed something really important was missing from this whole mess. Edward wasn't here, I inhaled deeply taking in the scents of the area, he wasn't even within miles of here. Where the hell was he?

"Yeah mom you should really leave poor Jake alone, I'm not even sure he really even likes you anymore?" Ness rolled her eyes at her mother, then I think it finally dawned on Bella how stupid she looked right now in front of everyone trying to cling onto something she supposedly let go of years ago. She sat down beside Jasper who barely spared a glance in her direction. Something told me that Jasper wasn't okay with all the deception that she and his wife had been up to. He looked bored and disgusted just like everyone else maybe even more so. Maybe it was because he could tell what she was feeling? He was bound to know that she never stopped lusting after Jacob while she was married to Edward and maybe he was forced to secrecy by his beautiful albeit crazy as hell wife. Then I noticed something else, Alice, where the hell was Alice?

"Oh God!" I stood up and yelled. Something was wrong, she must've done something to Edward, I knew the girl was determined to separate Edward and me, but could she be so twisted as to even hurt her own brother to keep us apart.

"Leah wait. . ." I heard Rose in the background saying something that I didn't take the time to care about. As soon as I stepped out on to the front porch I saw his silver Volvo pull into the driveway. I stopped dead in my tracks and my heart started to reactivate.

"Edward" I smiled relieved as I saw him get out of the car. I wanted to run to him and squeeze him as tightly as I did in the dream but I couldn't get my feet to move. He approached me and held his arms out just as he did at the party giving me the option to fall into them. I did, I placed my lips on his neck briefly so that all my senses take him in.

"Good morning to you too!" He whispered, "I missed you all night." He rocked me briefly. I thought about all the crazy things that I thought could have happened to him and sighed peacefully appreciating the fact that he was right here in my arms. "Everything is fine . . . I just needed to have a little talk with Alice."

"Where is she?" I felt as my body tensed and he smirked at my behavior.

"In the car pouting," he looked back at her, "she'll be out once she gets it together."

"So are you ready to do this thing?" I grabbed his hand and he laughed.

"I don't think you have to tell anybody anything. Everybody's watching us." He turned me so that I could see that the door was left wide open and everyone was still in the living room.

"Great that saves me the trouble of putting anything into words." I laughed as I pulled him inside.

"Just out of curiosity what do you think you would you have said?" I shrugged as I completed the task of maneuvering him inside. He sat on the couch and I sat beside him and everybody stared at us as if we were ghosts.

"BOO!" I laughed at my inside joke. Edward laughed too and shook his head.

"So we are just supposed to except this!" Sam snapped, "Leah you do realize that your involvement with this bloodsucker is a sin against your kind."

"It's not a sin against our kind." Taima said finally speaking up for a moment I forgot that she and Rozene were even here. They had the tendency to only speak when absolutely necessary. Part of me wondered if I would gain that characteristic . . . I really hoped not I enjoyed snapping at people way too much to lose that ability.

"Based on all the things I know about love, love is a spirit to spirit transaction physical identity has nothing to do with the love one feels for another." Taima spoke in a hushed tone but completely captivated everyone in the room.

"Love is blind." Ness paraphrased and Sam looked dumbfounded, which really was his natural state.

"Exactly young one." She beamed at Ness, Taima seemed like she'd be a good mom, something in her eyes was very warm and sincere. It made me believe that she could be trusted and even though Rozene was kind I didn't get the same vibe from her.

"Nonetheless I don't think our ancestors would be happy about your union." He said still trying to be a thorn in my side. "What would your father think?"

"My father would embrace anyone who _truly_ loved his daughter they way he believed I deserved to be loved." I rolled my eyes, "You should feel like a real shit for using him to try to prove a point. I'm not going to have this conversation with you anymore I don't owe you any sort of explanation besides the fact that I love Edward and you can go to hell!" I rolled my eyes at him. A few of the people in the room gasped at my confession but I didn't take the time to hone in on who it was all I knew as that it was out in the open and it didn't need to be whispered about anymore.

"Seriously Leah and I say this because I do care about you; you went from bad to worst. It's obvious to everyone that Edward doesn't love you, at least I loved you. To him you're just a pet . . . something to do." Emily glared at Sam as he spewed his shit.

"What do you know about my feelings for Leah!" Edward hissed and Bella actually looked sad and hurt by his statement. Just minutes ago she was acting so defensive over Jacob. The girl was a real piece of work, she should know that sun and moon did not and will not rise and fall on her ass and she shouldn't expect anybody in this room to think so ever again. Then I looked at my poor cousin who seemed hurt by her husband's stupidity.

"Sam please stop making a fool of yourself." She whispered and grabbed arm. She looked around the room embarrassed her tear filled eyes locked with mine and all I could do was offer her my pity. Part of me didn't want to offer her that I mean the reality was she did bring it on herself she knew that she jumped into the frying pan way too fast with Sam.

"This banter is immature and irrelevant," Rozene sighed, "can we please dive into the matter at hand."

"I actually agree her," Bella murmured, "we all know that Edward will get bored with Leah. I mean he got bored with me, you will be no different. What I want to know is what are you capable of? And do I or anybody in _my_ family have any reason to really fear you?" She laughed as she spoke the words. She must have thought that this all was a joke, obviously Alice hadn't spoken to her about it because Alice certainly seemed apprehensive about telling me about the powers I possessed.

"Bella you really shouldn't talk." I said bluntly. I felt as the fire rose in my body again, I didn't want to kill Bella but I did want to hurt her badly I have ever since she decided to you Jacob as her plan B. "Ignorance is best combated with silence in other words shut the hell up!"

"Just because you are sleeping with my husband doesn't mean you can tell me what to do." She hissed and her hand flinched. She wanted to hit me, I found this amusing even with the information she had she was that stupid to act so impulsively. Part of me wished she would attempt to hit me and that her hand would shatter into a billion pieces.

"I didn't tell you what to do I just made a strong suggestion and I'm not sleeping with your husband . . . but I do plan to be with your ex . . . in the very, very near future." Edward grinned so hard if he could have blushed he would have.

"That's it!" The brown haired demon rose from her seat and proceeded to grab me by my neck and I rose to my feet to meet her stare. "I can't stand this bitch. You ruined my life stole my husband and my daughter and have the audacity to sit here and tell me about you plans to bed MY HUSBAND and he is MY HUSBAND because the papers were destroyed and our marriage is still valid you are a stupid home wrecker and you deserve the hell I'm about to put you through!" Edward stood and started to protect me. He forced her to remove her fingers from around my neck. "Get of me Edward! I deserve this!" She hissed.

"You deserve nothing after the way you've hurt our daughter and I will not allow you to hurt Leah! She has only been a constant to Ness and me since she returned." He said as he clenched her wrists as he stared at her I could tell that there was absolutely no love there I mean I know he had told me a million times but the visual proof was more assuring.

"She can't hurt her!" Taima chimed in, "but it is really sweet that you defended her. I wish I had someone so protective."

"I'm pretty sure that you are all wrong about whatever you think she is she still smells fowl to me," Bella rolled her eyes, "I'm sure I could kill you if I wanted to." She stepped into my bubble of personal space.

"Really," I'd smirked at her closeness, "well I'm gonna give you the opportunity . . . step outside with me Bella." I glared at her devilishly. "We need to finish this . . . . unless you're too chicken shit."

"Leah . . ." Ness clung to my side nervously.

"Don't worry nothing bad will happen." I whispered and kissed her head, Bella hissed and unhinged her jaw showing me all of her teeth.

"Let's do this Bella we've had this coming for a long time, you want to kick my ass come on I'm going give you your chance!" I said walked outside and she eagerly followed. I figured Bella did deserve the opportunity to get her aggression out when it came to me and personally I wouldn't mind scaring the bitch a little. As I expected the majority of the people in the house came outside to watch the fight. Bella went to grab me again and I side stepped her advance and slammed her head into the dirt, she rolled onto her back and grabbed a fist full of my hair which didn't hurt but didn't feel good either.

"Why did you do it? Why did you ruin your life!" She cried and slapped me across the face, I allowed her that one because I was curious how it would feel . . . it felt like a whole bunch nothing kind of like feathers tickling my face. She tried to pull it off again and I grabbed her hand and bent it back until I heard her wrist snap, she let out a whimper of pain. The sky began to darken as I forced her to her knees by grabbing her other hand and repeating the action. Her dry sobs were pathetic to me, she claimed to want this so badly and she was barely putting up a fight maybe she wanted me to kill her.

"Are you giving up Swan? I thought you had more fight in you than that!" I bluntly as usual Bella disappointed and disgusted me.

"You took everything I had that was worth fighting for." She hung her head. I still didn't get how Edward and Jacob both thought Bella was so strong. I mean seriously this was pathetic.

"Everything was taken from me too, the presence of vampires caused a war that led to the death of my father," lighting struck, "and then their mere presence took my finance' and my cousin, and hell most of my family away with me . . . so you see I really can't feel sorry for you but unlike you I never gave up." She hung her head again.

"That's not my fault you can't kill me because of it." She murmured.

"Weren't you going to kill me because of the same thing?" I said matter of factly. I raised my hands above Bella's head and caused and burning like sensation came through my fingertips within seconds a giant orb of fire appeared over Bella head. "but if you wish for death I can deliver it swiftly." I promised her.

"Don't!" Alice said rushing to her friend's side I hadn't even realized that she had joined the party. "Please don't kill her!"

"I wasn't going to . . . she is afterall Ness' mother I wouldn't deprive Ness that way but for the sake of the people you say you care about be honest with them . . . all of them so that they can have a clear clean slate." I put my hands down and the heat vanished and dull smell of smoke lingered in the area. A relieved look colored her face she still looked pathetic with her hands hanging from her limbs that way.

"FIRE! YOU HAVE THE ELEMENT OF FIRE! YOU ARE A BABY FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!" Rozene huffed and thunder clapped. Araina was right she didn't take the news well.

"I had a feeling that you would possess fire. You hold a lot of characteristics that remind me of Araina that's probably why the heavens chose you." Taima smiled sadly.

"The heavens didn't chose me Araina did . . ." they both looked at me confused and I didn't feel like explaining my dream to them, "never mind you're right the heavens chose me." I huffed not interested explaining anything to anyone.

"What is it such a big deal? So what Leah's a human lighter?" Paul said he and Sam both laughed at his ignorance.

"I hate explaining the law to infants!" Rozene grumbled. "The one that possess' fire is the strongest of our kind and control all of the elements with a strength that nor Taima or I could even begin to comprehend." She rolled her eyes. It was crazy how her personality had changed now that she knew about my abilities, I didn't realize they had the ability to be so ugly.

"You fit in good with your jurisdiction I mean you get along with them pretty well you are practically married to one of them." Taima laughed and I smirked but said nothing. What was with everyone's focus on marriage today I wasn't planning to have one . . . ever if I could help it.

The sky cleared and I gently grabbed Bella's broken wrists. "I want you to know that I never sought out to hurt you . . . this time." I said as I held her broken appendages in place, I felt them as I heal under my touch. "I just wanted understand why I couldn't phase, I didn't know that I was going to fall into this shit with Edward again, I do respect your bond with Ness and I encourage you to fix it." She glared at me then her look softened.

"I don't like you . . . but I believe you." She pulled her hands away from me. She probably was only agreeing with me because she was afraid that I would kill her. I sighed and then stood upright and smoothed my hands over this red dress that I had been wearing for two days straight. A shower did sound good about now I was tired of dealing with all this crap today.

"I want a truce with you Bella we should be done with everything now." I offered her my hand to shake and she stared at it awkwardly.

"I don't know if I can. I mean you have everything and I have nothing. I don't think I will ever be on good terms with you." She wasn't being ugly she just wasn't ready to let go of her hate for me.

"For the good of the family we should make peace. It's over Bella." Alice looked at Bella sadly, and Bella shook her head.

"I'm sorry I can't . . . not yet." She went to walk away from me.

"Why aren't I surprised?" Ness spoke up, "you never did anything for the good of this family. You couldn't even stay away from Jake for the good of your own daughter! I'm not ready for this to be over either! I will not let Leah look like the bad guy when nobody knows about your dirt and how you used Jake because you are a sick sad woman." Bella looked at her daughter horrified but I could tell if it was out of embarrassment of being exposed or if it was hurt because her daughter openly voiced her distaste for her. I put my hand on Ness' shoulder to calm her.

"That's enough Ness she just needs some time . . . and so do you." I didn't want Ness upset, I pulled her to my side to comfort her. I watched the look on Alice's face, she obviously didn't know about Bella's dealing with Jacob neither did Esme for that matter."

"I knew something freaky was going on." Rose murmured not the least bit amused, pissed fit her expression better. "I told him not get involved with her." Emmett tried to hush his wife but was easily dismissed by her.

"I made a mistake . . . after Ness was born and Jake's attention went to the baby he didn't seemed interested in me anymore due to the whole imprint thing. It hurt me so much so that I couldn't give myself to my husband anymore. I couldn't even look at him because I felt so guilty laying beside him and thinking of Jake. That's when I started going off alone . . . I would track Jake when he phased and waited for the moments when he would turn back human just so I could see him. After months of our distance Edward didn't even seem to care about my attention or whereabouts . . . one day while we were out Ness ran back to the cabin and that's when I the first time I heard you two having sex. Instead of being devastated I was elated it gave me a way to hold on to both of the men I loved so much. Since Edward did dirt I eagerly wanted to do dirt to, the only problem was that Jake didn't want me anymore so I had to force him. I am truly sorry Jake? I just want you to feel for me what I feel for you . . . and when you didn't it angered me to the point that it made raping you easy." She sighed after her confession. "I didn't want to hurt anyone. That's why I signed the papers the first time but when Alice came back and told me that I could still have Edward I caved because I didn't want to be alone even if we didn't love each other I didn't want to have to leave the family that I've been with for years but I would be heartless to stand by and let my daughter continue to suffer. I am so sorry Ness can you forgive me?"

"I'm glad you were honest," she said still connected to my hip, "I can forgive you but I don't trust you." Bella nodded.

"That's a start." She went to touch Ness and she cringed away from her but allowed it to happen.

* * *

After Bella's confession everyone still buzzed around me curious about what I was asking me questions I really couldn't answer. This is why Taima said that she left her tribe so early in her life, plus the fact that she didn't want to see her loved ones die. I smiled as I listened to Embry asked me for the millionth time to explain what I was exactly.

"You know you keep asking me the same thing you're just changing the wording it's becoming a little annoying." I sighed as I sat beside him on the couch.

"Can you blame him the whole thing is kinda unheard of." Quil countered I nodded.

"I don't know how else to explain it." I sighed, "can't you just think I'm awesome and leave it alone?" I smirked.

"It's not as awesome as shifting," Seth countered, "admit Leah you miss it." I rolled my eyes at my brother.

"I miss parts of it. I like having my privacy . . . a lot, but I guess if I miss anything it is the connection to nature and the speed. I had wicked speed." We all laughed. I didn't want to tell them I could possibly still phase because I didn't want to get my hopes up and I didn't feel like trying to right now.

"You weren't that fast." Embry teased.

"Yeah right I can't count how many times I've left you in the dust." We all laughed and reminisced on a time that would have been great if I hadn't been going through so much shit.

"We do miss you being part of the pack Leah," Jacob joined our conversation, "it's weird I still can't give you beta position to anybody else I mean I've tried to give it to everyone in the pack but it doesn't take."

"Maybe I'm still your beta and you will never be able to get rid of me." He sat on the floor in front of me.

"But how when you can't phase . . . can you phase?" He smirked at me. I shrugged because I seriously didn't know.

"I let you know when I find out." I said as I looked for Edward he was engrossed in some conversation with Esme, Ness, and Bella it was something I definitely didn't want to be a part of. So I went upstairs to freshen up and borrow some of Emily's clothes.

After showering I wrapped a towel around me and went to her closet to see if she had something I could fit. After having a baby Emily has become a little hippy meaning that most of her clothes were a little baggy on me. I pulled one of her older summer dresses from the back it was kind of bland but most of her clothing was. Just as I went to remove my towel a familiar scent made me smile.

"You almost scared me," I smirked, "you're lucky I have a good nose."

"Scaring you is most definitely not my intention," he motioned for me to come closer I stood right in front of him, "I was wondering if we could have a repeat performance of last night?" He lowered his voice allowed his hands to linger around my waist.

"Sorry, I don't give repeat performances," I said as I kneeled down in front of him, "each experience with me is new and life affirming." I allowed my attention to be captivated by his cock, I began to molest his piece through his clothing and he quickly removed the towel that was keeping me covered.

"So beautiful . . .," he said as he lowered himself from the bed and kneeling on the floor in front of me, he placed his lips to mine engaging me in the sweetest kiss I'd ever experienced. Everything he did was so soft and slow, he connected his forehead with mine as his hands cascaded from my neck, to my breast, and to my ass.

"I love you so much." He said as I allowed him to lay me on my cousin's bedroom floor. "Everything about you excites me." He led my hand to his fully erect manhood that was that was throbbing as if it had a pulse under my touch. His tongue traveled from my ear down my neck causing a chill to hit my spine.

"You do wonders for me too believe me," I breathed as grabbed his hair as he began to vigorously suck on my nipples. He stopped abruptly and laughed.

"I know not because you tell but because I have proof." He stuck two of his fingers deep into my center it parted so easily for him mainly because he knew exactly where to go.

"You're so wet . . ." he removed his finger and stuck them in his mouth, "and so delicious." He took his two fingers and offered them to me, it wasn't my favorite part of our sex but I knew how much it turned him on so I sucked on them vigorously. The taste of his skin and my essence tasted better than I remembered maybe it was because it had been so long since I've experience the sensation or maybe it was because I was completely blissed out on the oral my vampire was delivering to me. He squeezed my ass and he darted his tongue in and out of my opening causing me to actually cover my mouth in attempt to muffle my screams of satisfaction.

"Are my fingers not doing enough to keep your mouth occupied . . . I think I have something else that will fulfill you needs." He stood and removed his pants, then lowered himself right over my face allowing my mouth easy access to his sugary sweet cock. I let out a moan of gratitude as I deep throated his dick. "Trust me the pleasure is all mine," he breathed a response to my thoughts, as he roughly thrusting himself in and out of my mouth, then deemed the time appropriate to flick his very talented tongue against my clit.

"Hmmm," I couldn't talk but I was going to scream I couldn't get any wetter. I needed him inside me.

"As you wish," he quickly repositioned himself so that he could enter me. He slowly entered me so that I could experience the entry of every inch of his magnificence. Each time he moved deeper I squirmed with anxious anticipation. "I don't remember you being this warm and tight . . . is it possible that you are even better than I remembered?" He groaned and buried his face in my shoulder as he completed the task placing his eight inches of his awesomeness inside me (it's sad but I measured it).

"Oh God . . . thank you!" I couldn't believe that I had been lying to myself with that stupid piece of plastic nothing could even compare to this. I actually whimpered I had never done that before maybe he just better than I remembered.

"No it's you I . . .," he tried to mask his disposition; "I swear it's you." He motion became faster and harder. My hands gripped his shoulders and my legs around him locking my ankles around his waist ensuring that he would move until we were finished. "I wanna switch positions." He rolled to his back so that I was on top of him that was a big mistake whenever I was on top of Edward I held no punches this would be hard and dirty. My body didn't know how to savor the moment I closed my eyes and embraced the sensation of his hand rubbing and squeezing my nipples. "Look at me Leah," I opened my eyes, he sat upright, and placed his hands at either side of my face causing are eye contact to stay connected. Our mental connection only heightened the experience of our sex . . . I was in ecstasy I was either going to cum or pass out very very soon.

"Don't pass out please," he attempted to laugh but ended up groaning instead, "not fast enough." He laid me back on my back and gave it to me so hard that his pelvis slapped against my inner thighs causing the most enticing sound.

"So good, SO GOOD OH EDWARD, OH OH YES!" I raked my fingernails across his back like I always did when he gave me truly mind blowing sex.

"Ow shit Leah!" He laughed breathlessly.

"Sorry," he embraced me keeping our bodies together and laid his head on my chest.

"You can't begin to know how much I've missed you." His laughter shook us both.

"Trust me I have some idea." I ran my hand up and down his spine. I looked around the room we were in Sam and Emily were going to kill us . . . figuratively anyway.

"I love you Leah." He said as he mindlessly traced a circle around my nipple.

"I know you do . . .," it was hard getting used to saying it too. "I love you Cullen but please don't expect me to say it everyday just know that I love you more than anything or anyone."

"We'll have to compromise every other day you'll tell me you love me deal." He looked up and smiled at me. His topaz eyes almost sent me into a trance.

"Every week and you have a deal." He nodded and smirked.

"That was easier than expected I expected you to be difficult. Don't become all dainty because you're a deity I grown fond of the blunt Leah and would not take kindly to the change." He got up and began to dress himself and I did the same.

"Trust me I don't believe what I just did would be considered deity behavior." I laughed as I slid on the pink summer dress, I hated pink.

"Yeah a deity would probably get married before engaging in such activity." He arched his eyebrow. I couldn't believe he wanted to talk about marriage after the amazing fuck we just had. "Of course I would want to talk about marriage after making love to you Leah it only makes sense for me to want you as my own."

"Can we talk about this at home please?" I said as I went for the door.

"No, we talk about it now or not at all." He stood firm which meant that I had to listen if I didn't want argue with him.

"Well?" I said, "are you going to try to convince me that we should get married too?" He looked confused and then amused by something, he must not have known that his daughter had already cornered me today.

"We should get married but I'm not going to force you into it. I think we should date first but then logically it would make sense for the sex to stop but I'm pretty positive that I can't resist you . . . we've done everything so backwards. I know that I love you and will love you for the rest of my existence but that doesn't mean that you feel the same. If you need time then I will give you time to be sure." He was afraid that I wasn't sure that I loved him and that I didn't want to be committed to him.

"I'm sure." I whispered and his eyes widened in shock.

"Sure of what?" He question inching closer to me.

"That I will never love anyone else, that you're annoying stubborn ass is perfect for me and that I would die if anything happened to you or that kid of yours. I'm sure I will marry you." If he wanted mush I could deliver mush he just not expect everyday and once we get married it would pretty much evaporate.

"You want to marry me?" He said in disbelief.

"Yeah since you asked so nicely," I wrapped my arms around him, "I'll marry you . . . now all you need is a divorce."

* * *

_Author's note:_

_This chapter took a long time. Flames make me sad don't flame my stories it makes it hard for me to come back and write on them. I do appreciate constructive criticism but wording is everything and if you cannot give positive reviews don't give negative ones. _

_Also if this chapter feel incomplete to you in anyway . . . the day is not over but this chapter is kind of long and needed to broken up into parts . . . more answers are coming you're way. A couple more chapters that's all that's left . . . this story may need a sequel -) _

_That being said I hope I didn't over think this chapter normally things come to me a lot smoother than this chapter did. Nonetheless I hope you like it! Read and review! _


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter 16

When we finally got it together to come downstairs everyone had seemingly left Sam's cabin I guessed our noises were heard by all and everyone was disgusted but I didn't care I felt great. My body never felt so relaxed and free. Being with Edward was more awesome now than it was in the past. His every touch sent a pleasurable buzz of electricity through me, even though we were done I could still feel the tingle throughout my body, and my legs were like noodles, I had to concentrate on not walking bow legged.

"I'm glad you enjoyed our union." He said as he wrapped his arms around my waist, "I do however want to let you know that everyone had gone outside before I came upstairs. Taima wanted to see what a shape shifter looked like in wolf form and Jacob volunteered to change for her. Everyone went outside to watch and I have seen Jacob in wolf form more times than I care to so I came to find you, and when I saw you in that towel . . .," he placed his lips on the crook of my neck and gently grazed his tongue along the area, "I couldn't resist you." His hands wandered to my ass and I buried my hands went in his hair we were going to have to go away somewhere together to get used to the newness of being able to fuck guilt free because I felt like I could take him right now on Emily's living room floor but I'm pretty sure she wouldn't want our love stains all over her mahogany rug. "I'm in control of myself Leah. I have enough resolve for the both of us." He laughed as his hands still danced all over my back.

"Yeah right Cullen! You can't keep your hands to yourself. It's sad really," I shoved him slightly, "knowing how badly you want me." I eyed him seductively.

"Just because I'm touching you doesn't mean I want to have sex with you right now." He countered but I could tell that he resolved was shaken I could have him anytime I wished.

"So what you're saying is you don't want to have sex with me?" I arched my eyebrow in disbelief. "And your hands movements aren't meant to seduce me at all." He smirked arrogantly.

"Honestly, I always want to be inside of you, if we could stay connected in that way and still go about our lives daily routine I'd be all for it. However I wasn't trying to seduce you into having sex on Emily's floor . . . but I did enjoy your visual." He sat down on the couch and pulled me onto his lap baby style, I really was a fan of sitting this way so I maneuvered so I could look at his face while we talked.

"What were you talking to Esme and Bella about before I went upstairs?" I said as I rubbed my hands along the fabric of his shirt.

"Esme is still trying to find a way to make things work with Bella and me." He obviously wasn't amused by their conversation. "She feels that if we can't make it work for each other then we should at least trying again for the sake of our child but I'm pretty sure that Ness would rather live with you." He pulled me close and sighed. "I love Esme but I think she has this picture in her head of this perfect family that has come together and she doesn't want to see that picture shredded into little pieces."

"Damn, the picture isn't exactly maimed; it's a divorce it's not like the whole family decided to go in different directions. Hell, knowing Bella she will probably still stay close . . . it's not maimed," I sighed exasperated I didn't like being viewed as the destroyer of their little leechy family unit, "just photo shopped a little." I smirked and he laughed.

"That's a good way to think of it I will be sure to issue that same message to Esme the next time she rants." He pecked my lips, not for any particular purpose, I just think he liked being able to do it without any repercussions.

"What message are you giving to Esme?" Alice said as she came back into the house. She seemed a little alarmed at our positioning and I went to move but Edward's hands held me in place.

"That Leah is now a permanent fixture in my life," he smiled at me, "and that I love her." I rolled my eyes and tried to hide the smile on my face unfortunately I could feel the heat on my cheeks and knew I was blushing.

"I remember you saying something similar about Bella," Alice retorted and sat at his side, "I'm starting to wonder about your definition of permanent." She crossed her legs smugly and smirked at us both.

"So you'd want me to go back to a woman who isn't fully sure that she loves me in the first place?" He countered.

"Either way you would be with a woman who loved someone else." She looked at me like she accused me of something.

"Wow! I'm shocked you pulled the Sam card. Like that hasn't been done before." I rolled my eyes at her.

"It's true you loved Sam and planned to marry him! Bella never thought about marrying Jacob she was just confused by her physical attraction to him." Alice tried to explain on her friends behalf.

"Don't down play Bella's imperfections Alice," Edward toyed with the fabric of the dress I was wearing not even bothering to issue his sister eye contact, "In reality Leah never loved Sam while I was with her. She never wanted his company or for him to show her any kind of attention while we were engaging in our activities. Bella was confused about her love for Jacob through the majority of our courtship and apparently even after we got married to the point that she raped the poor mutt. Do you see the difference? Can you understand why I wouldn't want to be with a woman like that? I don't have any ill feelings for Bella . . . I don't have any feelings for her at all." He finally looked up at Alice and issued her a cold blunt stare it was menacing but it was still scary, I'd never seen Edward look so . . . old.

"I understand what you are feeling brother but . . . I don't know if you're affection for this _thing_ will be as eternal as you believe it will . . . and what about Bella what happens to her if you leave her?" He looked at me and I arched my eyebrows I had no idea what he was thinking. He sighed and repositioned underneath me.

"We could have a meeting and discuss where the coven goes from here. Esme will be heartbroken if any of us left but if an ultimatum is put before me I will choose to leave and I will give my daughter the choice to come with me. Please make sure to tell Bella and Esme that before they do anything stupid." He went to get up and carry me like a baby as much I like being in his arms I kind of wanted to walk. "Oh sorry." He said as he allowed me to get down. When we went outside everybody had traveled back from the forest. Becca looked excited she ran up to me "That's the first time I'd every seen Jake and Sam in wolf form! I was scared shitless but the whole thing is pretty awesome now that they are back to normal. Rachel told me how trippy it was but I didn't believe it! Y'all get so huge!" She shook me and I laughed. "You should have been there to support me," she joked, "since when does it take you over an hour to take a frickin' shower anyway?" She nudged my shoulder then looked in Edward's direction. "Or do I have to ask?" She whispered I just rolled my eyes.

"I'm sorry I didn't get to see you scared shitless that would have been the highlight of my day." I laughed. Then I really thought about it would I trade mind blowing sex with my fiancé to see one of my best friends scared shitless . . . not in less I completely lost my damned mind.

"Both specimens where amazing I must say that the shape shifters are a little more menacing looking than I expected they do rival the children of the moon in a lot of ways no wonder the Volturi were a little confused." Taima reflected and stole a glance at Jacob and then Sam. "Have you two ever brawled just in jest to see who is stronger?"

"I am," Sam said quickly.

"Is that so?" Taima asked focusing the majority of her attention on Jacob. "I was watching as the two of you moved . . . mainly observing muscle mass and basic nature of your beast forms and technically I believe that Jacob's the stronger of the two . . . but insecure in movement at times." She looked him over again. "You are very captivating . . . to watch I mean." He smirked.

"You're form isn't bad either." He laughed out right but moved away from her, the way she watched him had to be a little unnerving, I mean it was Jacob for crying out loud, he wasn't a science project. I couldn't tell if Jacob had insulted Taima or made her uncomfortable, she stepped away from him and stopped talking.

"Hmph," Edward smirked he was obviously amused by something.

"What?" I asked he just shook his head and started walking toward Carlisle I started to follow him but he stopped me. "I know you're apprehensive about leaving me right now but Rebecca wants to talk to you." He pointed to my friend who seemed to be walking toward me with a purpose.

"Oh . . . and I'm not worried about being away from you, at least not for the reasons you think away." I whispered.

"I know what you're thinking," he whispered, "you don't trust some of the people here," he kissed the top of my head, "don't worry neither do I. I'll be careful." It was funny that I was so concerned with protecting him now it used to be the other way around. I just had this feeling that Alice or Bella would try something stupid and I wasn't above ripping one of their heads off and lighting their asses on fire.

"Hey Leah," Becca looked kind of excited, "I just called my husband he's coming down so I can stay a little longer!" She hugged me.

"That's great! But I'm a little confused, I thought you hated it down here?" I was happy that she wanted to stay I honestly missed her, but right now she was just another nose in my business.

"I hated it here because it was boring but everything is different now. Living here the past few weeks has been like living inside some sort of comic book series or some shit. Leah you got freakin super powers my brother is a big wolf he has been banging some desperate harpy vampire. You have been banging her vampire husband and helping him raise their hybrid kid . . . oh and let me not forget to mention that my sister married the big wolf she was betrothed to . . . seems to me I left Forks a little prematurely because everything that happened is anything but boring."

"Well I think you are lucky you left you could have possibly turned into a big wolf yourself you never know." I laughed I walked back toward Emily's house. I had this bad vibe come over me something wasn't write. I looked toward Taima who looked at me and then Rozene.

"Something's about to happen," Rozene looked at the house as I did and then look around the yard, "is someone missing?" I did a head count . . . Sam. He was in the house.

"FUCKING LEECH!" I heard as his loud steps came crashing down the steps of his house and he busted out of the doors and phased quickly, everyone stepped back they knew how wreckless Sam was when he unleashed his beast the proof of his unsound behavior was all over his wife's face.

"Sam!" Jacob said cautiously trying to remind him that humans were in there area and could get hurt. He focused stayed on Edward.

"He found out we made love in his house." He said bluntly in front everyone. He smirked at Sam. "She's not yours anymore Sam, she is mine. Hopefully what we did will make that clear to you and get it through you thick imbecile like brain!" Edward's eyes held a fury that I had never seen I knew he didn't like Sam but this was a little more than I expected.

"Don't encourage his stupidity Cullen! Let him calm down!" I said putting myself between the two of them. Sam's ears reared back apparently I wasn't his favorite person right now either.

"So what you're gonna fight me too? I dare you." I growled at him and my hands began to shake. Of course his stupid ass decided it would be a smart thing to try and charge us, I grabbed him by his mouth and clapped it shut using my hands a muzzle. I spun he around in the around in the air and tossed him into the forest like a piece of foul garbage. After I did this I exhaled roughly I was still frustrated and my hands were still shaking violently, how dare he try to attack the one good thing in my life, he was lucky I didn't kill his ass because that's what I wanted to do I wanted . . . to kill him. As I thought this a violent bolt of lightening hit a tree and set it ablaze.

"Calm down or they will all catch on fire," Taima reminded me, "you'll need to find an outlet for your anger.

"He's coming back . . .," Rosalie said crouching down in a tackling position she has been waiting for the opportunity to get Sam too. I didn't know why she didn't like him exactly but I knew her dislike for him was almost as strong as mine.

"Oh, no he isn't . . . not right now!" I took off into the forest. I heard Emily in the background begging me not to hurt him but there was not a chance that he would come back unscathed. I pulled my dress off and allowed the anger to fill through my body and I turned into the beautifully vicious beast that I had been disconnected from for so long. I let out a growl of arrival letting Sam know that if he wanted me here I was.

_Stupid bitch you should have just let me kill the stupid leech. That is what I am designed for. How dare you defile my home by fucking the undead in my marital bed? You should be ashamed to be alive they should exile you from the tribe you bring us no honor. _All the while his mind was visualizing Edward and me on his bed screwing ferociously, in his mind he convinced himself that we had did it to spite him and not because we really wanted to. He charged me once more, this time he knocked the wind out of me and we wrestled on the ground he kept trying to bite my neck, he was actually trying to kill me he hated me that much, the thought turned my stomach mainly because he had no reason to hate me I had done nothing to him . . . nothing but love his sorry ass. Fueled with the new found hate for this bastard, I was able to maneuver him onto his back and render him defenseless.

_Sam you really need to get over yourself. I'm in love with Edward and he's in love with me. Edward and I making love had nothing to do with you and we didn't even make it to your bed so stop pitching fit like a fucking baby and man up._ Sam rolled his eyes and growled under his breath.

_You need to stop fucking leeches!_ He snapped his teeth my way once more lucky for him he missed, I on the other hand didn't, I took a chunk of his ear out and spit it on the ground, he let out a yelp so violent it echoed through the trees. In his mind he debated attempting to tackle me to the ground, he figured if he grounded me he could end my life and his problems would be over. He probably would tell my family that my death was an accident and that he was only trying to defend himself against me, and knowing my mother, brother, and cousin, they'd all probably believe his ass. There was only one problem with his little plan and I planned to make sure he knew the score and hopefully he would never forget it.

_Reality check moron, I'm stronger, faster, and better than you now and will forever be. Don't mess with Edward or me ever again or I will kill you_. I removed myself from over top of him and started to walk away. Part of me wished he was stupid enough to not heed my warnings so that I could cause him further damage but my love for my cousin probably would save his ass in the long run.

_Yeah right_. He thought but I could tell that he had backed down I grabbed my dress in my mouth and found a place to change before rejoining everyone. When I got back to the crowd I saw Renesmee sitting with Rosalie she didn't seem to happy.

"Hey kid what's wrong?" I touched her shoulder and she looked up at me with tears in her eyes.

"Don't leave Leah no matter what they say promise me you won't leave." Ness said as she embraced me.

"Who's they?" I looked at Rosalie for a logical explanation as to what the hell was going on in my Ness' head. Before Rose could speak flashes of the conversation Edward and Rose had with Rozene went through my mind.

"She cannot stay with you now that she's confessed to loving you. It would have been better if you had allowed her to fool herself into hating you." Rozene tone was smug.

"Whatever obstacles you think we may endure are mute. The reality is Leah and I are both strong we can handle anything together." Edward said and I smirked it reminded me of something you would here in some sort of sappy romantic movie.

"Do you really want to put your family through another war with the Volturi for another woman that you could possibly be wrong about?" Rozene scoffed at him as though he were ignorant and it made me want to punch her in her face. A small roll of thunder drew Ness' thoughts away from me and I knew it was my fault I was getting pissed.

"Sorry I distracted you." I whispered.

"Don't leave me . . . ever." Was her only response.

"You know one day a few years from now you aren't going to want me or your father anywhere near you." I laughed.

"Well that's then and this is now." She squeezed me tighter. I hated to admit it even though I was pissed at Rozene she was right. Edward and I could potentially put his family back into another way with the volturi if they figure out what I was and that I was with him, but I really didn't think it was an issue if they didn't find out and I could see no way they could really tell. The fact that I can still change into a wolf masks any other odd scent they might have found on me. I really believe that everyone I care about should be safe.

"I'm ready to go home." Ness thoughts crept back into my brain again.

"Okay," I looked at Rose, "we're ready to go home."

After we grabbed Edward and said our goodbyes we escaped to the peacefulness our apartment. Ness stayed attached to my hip I really think that she was scared that if she left go I was going to disappear. "Do you want something to eat?" I asked as I sat with her on the couch, I needed and excuse to separate from her, don't get me wrong I love the kid to death, I just needed my arm back.

"No, I'm fine thanks," Ness sighed, "the three of us should just leave like tonight. We could get settled and then tell Rose, Emmett, and Grandpa Carlisle where were ended up so they could join us . . . and everyone would be happy." I frowned and sighed.

"No, Esme would be sad and so would Jasper, Alice, and your mother. You wouldn't really be happy either with your family divided that way kid." I rubbed her hair and she sighed.

"I would deal with it . . . I'm just tired of the way they treat you. I scared that they are going to convince you to leave me one day and you have been the one keeping me sane." I laughed because she had been doing the same for me.

"You have been having the same affect on me kid. I'm not going anywhere I promise." She nodded.

"She still doesn't believe you." Edward came from the kitchen and gave his daughter a cup of cocoa anything with chocolate usually made Ness' day but she didn't seem as wowed as she normally was.

"Would it make you feel better if you knew that Leah and I were planning to get married?" Edward kneeled in front of his daughter and delivered a piece of news I wasn't quite ready to tell her yet.

"But . . . I don't understand." She looked up at me confused. "Are you really going to marry my dad?" She arched her eyebrow at me.

"Yeah that's the plan." She smiled at me and hugged me tighter. "Wait till I tell Aunt Rose!" She hopped up to grab her phone.

"Hold it short stuff!" I grabbed her by the back of her shirt. "Don't you think I should be given the opportunity to share the news?" She nodded even though she seemed a little disappointed.

"Can we do it now?" She made her eyes all big and tried to dazzle me into her way of thinking.

"No," I smirked that wasn't gonna work on me. I wanted to talk things out with Edward one more time before we threw both of our families into chaos. "I will tell them soon just not tonight. It's been a long day as it is . . . but I promise you can be there when I tell her."

"Okay . . . well I'm going to bed," she got up and looked at both of us, then hugged her dad, "thanks."

"I didn't do this for you but you're certainly welcome," he ruffled her hair, "and don't try to make any secret calls tonight my hearing is a whole lot better than you think it is young lady." She grumbled under her breath as she walked to her room.

"So we aren't telling people we are engaged?" He sat on the couch started the conversation for me, at least I wouldn't have to look for an opening.

"Nope not yet," I said laid my head on his shoulder as I flipped mindlessly through the television channels, "I wanna make sure that we are strong unit before we give anybody any real news. I mean think about it Cullen we haven't even been on a real date and now we are engaged." He laughed.

"You're right we haven't," he put his arm around me and I allowed him to cradle me, "so tomorrow would you like to go on a date with me?" He smirked.

"Why yes Cullen I think I would." We both laughed before he connected his lips to mine.

* * *

_Author's Note: _

_Sorry it has taken me a million years to come back! Okay I will be honest for everyone and say this isn't one of my better chapters it is a short little filler chapter to get me back in the mood to write this story. I have been horribly, horribly, distracted and unmotivated. I know what's going to happen in the next chapters to come and there will be a part two connected with this story because I can't pack everything I see happening into one story. Again please read and review! _


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter 17

The night hours are achingly long. I never realized how many hours the world spent in darkness. Edward went to check on Ness I stood looking at the window studying the night sky. I still had so many questions for Rozene and Taima but we left so quickly that I didn't really get to speak with them. Honestly though we wouldn't have been able to have a thorough conversation with them with everyone around. My primary concern was Ness; she was being freakishly close and protective. I could smack Rozene for making her so insecure.

"You okay?" Edward said, I looked at my undead fiancé who was standing in the middle of the living room watching me.

"Yeah . . . I'm good just thinking about today and how crazy it was." I sighed.

"You wanna know what _I'm_ thinking?" He smirked at me devilishly.

"Is it perverted?" I closed the gap between us hoping it was. Sex would make the time go by faster.

"Actually it isn't I was wondering why you were still awake . . . I don't want you tired tomorrow since we have plans and all." He kissed my necked and started inching his fingers under my shirt.

"I can't sleep . . . ever again . . . I thought I told you that?" I thought back through the day, the day was so full I couldn't remember if I had actually told him or if I had only thought about telling him.

"I can think of a few selfish urges that could fill you new extra time." He pulled me even closer allowing me to feel his growing desire for me.

"Why are you such a pervert!" I giggled like a school girl as he pulled me down onto the couch. He laughed, he naturally found his way on top of me planted sweet simple kisses in my most vulnerable places but I could stop laughing.

"Why are you laughing?" He smiled as he looked into my eyes and smoothed my hair back so that he could get better positioning at my neck.

"Because you are tickling me stupid! STOP!" I squirmed my body towards his.

"I do what I want Clearwater." He lowered his tone, smoldered his stupid eyes, and my heart unwillingly skipped a beat.

"Yeah . . .whatever." I groaned slightly and he snickered once more.

"I do believe you're under my spell Miss Clearwater and I'm about to take advantage of you." His hands were now under my shirt squeezing firmly at my breast.

"Shut up Cullen and just fuck me like you want to," I whispered for fear of his daughter hearing me. It still gave me the chills knowing that she had heard our previous activities.

"You don't have to tell me twice," he murmured as his fingers quickly dove into under my dress. His pointer finger barely grazed the tip of my clit when we both heard a knock at the door.

"No, no, no, no, NO!" I whined, "maybe if we don't answer they'll go away!" I mouthed the words and he kissed my lips.

"Not likely . . ." he removed his hand and licked his fingers once more. He must really like my juices because he never missed the opportunity to taste me.

"HELLO! WE KNOW YOU ARE HERE! LEAH I CAN HEAR YOU BREATHING!" Rosalie called from the other side of the door and banged once more.

"Hello sister," Edward greeted her with a way too forced smile on his face.

"No need to give me that face look Edward, the reality is I'm just as pissed I'm here as you are . . . just as we were going to retire to our home Leah's new buddies decided to enlist Emmett and my help and to get to you." She said numbly.

"Hello young one." Taima gave me a warm sincere look.

"Hey . . . don't take this the wrong way but . . . what are you . . ."

"Doing here? She finished the statement for me, "we have unfinished business and you are bound to have more questions."

"Hell, I have questions! Emmett added his unnecessary two scents where it wasn't needed. Rosalie elbowed him in ribs a not so subtle way of telling her husband to shut up.

"I'm glad that we had a chance to convene in a more private setting some of the entities that we were with today have dark or conflicting spirits it makes them untrustworthy." Rozene said as she sat down on the couch that Edward and I were just curled up on. I was kind of pissed that she sat down that meant the planned to stay a while.

"This area is pure," Taima added, "these two are loyal and will help bring about the new order . . . when the time comes." I nodded but was still in a state of disbelief about the Cullens becoming the new Volturi.

"Your ex has a dark spirit . . . she's vengeful about this." She pointed at Edward and me. "The beings that act as your mother and sister are heavily conflicted; it is highly likely that they will cause you involuntary pain." Rozene sighed, "and then there is the Volturi . . . so many enemies so little time . . . honestly Leah, I don't envy you." She smirked darkly.

"I know Bella's pissed but she used to be a sweet kid you really think she would cause her ex husband harm?" Emmett said seriously. That was one charming albeit annoying characteristic he possessed, his innocence.

"Yes," Taima answered, "she is a woman scorned not once but twice she no longer thinks with a logical mind."

"That sucks I liked Bella." Emmett shook his head in disappointment.

"I didn't . . .," Rosalie said dryly, "anyone who casually throws away the gift of life is dangerous." She sat on the other side of me, Edward on the other soaking everything up like a sponge.

"First things first is this young man your source?" Taima smiled at me.

"Source?" Edward said as stole the information at the same time. I don't know why he wasted his energy if she was going to answer the question anyway.

"Someone that gives Leah a charge and enhances her new natural abilities, that person will be the one she protects over all others." Taima smirked again as she repeated the quote obviously spoken by Rozene proven by the annoyed look on her face.

"So it's like an imprint?" Rosalie said as she put the pieces of the puzzle together.

"No not at all, the connection doesn't have to be romantic and it's not for the purpose of breeding. It's just an intense level of loyalty, love and respect," Rozene spoke softly, "the connection just has to be strong pure and real."

"How do you test it? I mean do we need to gather in sort of ritual circle and chant or is like jumping a car battery?" I was joking but both Rozene and Taima looked pissed.

"All of this is no joking matter," Rozene berated me, "you have to start taking this seriously or you will be more harm that good and you won't just be affecting yourself or your pack or your precious boy toy over there; you will be affecting all of man kind." She glared at me as if my being somber was crucial element for this conversation.

"I am taking this seriously . . . I am interested in learning more about what I am but I honestly don't see how knowing who my source is will matter in one way or another. Also this is a lot of shit to take in and I think I'm dealing with the shit pretty well so what I made a stupid joke. My mom used to say that I laughed and joked to keep from crying I don't know if that's true . . . just seems easier to deal with things when you make them funny." Rozene still looked annoyed but that was the best I was going to give her in regards to an explanation to my emotions because I really didn't owe her any explanation.

"Araina killed herself because her source was taken from her. You're source is your greatest strength and you're most intense weakness in many cases." I was tired of people thinking that Araina killed herself it wasn't fair that someone so deep and all around awesome was remembered that way.

"God, Araina didn't kill herself! Not in the way you think! How can you live by a story you know nothing about?" I snapped before thinking about the repercussions of this statement.

"How would you know how she killed herself? Were you there?" She mocked me.

"Were you? Were you in the same room as her as she took her last breath that's the only way you could possibly know for sure how her life ended." I rolled my eyes neither of us were too happy at the moment and sky decided to relay this message to most of the Washington area with loud thunder and hail. She looked outside wide-eyed and tried to calm herself.

"Look, just trust me, it's important to know." She said with her eyes closed, I listened as her heartbeat started to slow and watched as the hail evaporated like it never existed.

"Whatever . . . what do you need me to do for this test?" I said hoping that conceding would lighten the mood in the room. Lately when negative energy was around me it would make the room feel heavy, I mean the air literally felt think it made it hard to move in.

"Stand by the window," she touched Edward's shoulder, "and you embrace her." His cold touch relaxed me I was still a little annoyed and my body had become really tense.

"Look out into the sky and create daylight. With his touch your ability manipulate the universe should be strong enough to turn night to day and vice versa. It should be an instinctive thing it's something I can't teach you because I've never done it, however I've seen it done once . . . Araina's last kiss to her husband made day turn to night. I did witness that." The though of Araina kissing her husband ran through my mind I envisioned her saying goodbye to him and never being able to return to his touch again. I tried to focus on the task of manipulating the sky and time, but all I could give them was rain.

"He's not it! Wow, I'm really surprised I would have bet money that he was!" Taima pouted. I looked at Edward and shrugged, he rubbed my back in a supportive manner, I needed it but not because he wasn't my source but because I truly believed I was dealing with a bunch of lunatics.

"This doesn't affect your feeling for me does it?" He pouted playfully.

"Shuddup Cullen you're not getting rid of me . . . not that easily anyway." I nudged him and seemed happy with my answer.

"Well, I guess you're sourceless like us!" Taima sighed. "That takes from away from the excitement buzzing around you . . . it kind of sucks." She smirked I think she wasn't used to using that form of slang, because it was weird as hell to hear.

"Sorry I no longer entertain you dear deity." I laughed I liked the fact that Taima was becoming more human the more she stayed here the more I liked her.

"On the contrary you still amuse me, I never can quite predict what you are going to say . . . usually whatever comes out is quite humorous." Taima smirked.

"I have the same problem," Edward murmured, "however I don't find it amusing . . . it is frustrating as hell." I shrugged I didn't care about his frustration, well I didn't care about his mental frustration in regards to me but his physical frustration was a whole other story.

"If I'm so frustrating why do you stick around?" I countered.

"Because there are other things about you that I simply cannot get enough of." He wrapped his arm around my waist and Taima's expression changed. It was still friendly but I could see the envy in her eyes, she wanted someone to be connected with and hell she deserved it, I mean 550 years without sex she was like a super nun, her strength and will power had to be ridiculous. I slowly pushed Edward's hands away casually I didn't want to make her feel sad or uncomfortable.

"Don't push him away on my account please." She seemed startled by the action I had made to accommodate her. "He is so much more important to your life than I will ever be, so please to alter your affection on my account I have adjusted to much worse things in my life." She laughed.

"You'll have tell me about them some time." I said for lack of anything else to say.

"Yes I shall." She smiled. "You know I really like it here I may stay awhile after Rozene leaves if you don't mind. I don't think that us being in same area really causes but so much confusion in the elements . . . it's just a theory and besides I'm pretty even tempered . . . unless provoked." We both laughed, Edward's face had gone blank he was obviously focusing in on someone's thoughts picking them apart.

"Your mate has become a statue." Taima looked at his face confused.

"It's only temporary you just have to smack him in the head and he'll come to." Emmett said as he prepared to give him a good whack before he snapped out of it, unfortunately for him he caught his hand just before it touched his head. "Just once you should let me nail you, who knows it may clear up all those voices in your head." He laughed so did I, after I got over the annoyance of Emmett trying to throw me off the Cullen's house and end my life, I realized that he is actually kind of funny and not just stupid as fuck.

"Never gonna happen . . ." Edward murmured.

"Yeah you'll see one day . . . one day." They stared each other down and then laughed hysterically. I always thought that Edward was closer to Jasper but this situation was proving me wrong. Maybe it was the current situation of things that was changing the dynamic in there family . . . they were dividing and it was all my fault.

Everyone started talking and joking except Rozene she stared daggers at Edward and me as if she were studying us. I knew that we were part of some sort of warped prophecy and that she had told me the she deemed necessary but I wanted more information. I wanted to know how it is the story is supposed to end. I kept stealing glances at her and she would smirk at me as if she knew what I wanted. I went to make my way over to her to force her to tell me everything she knew when I felt Edward's hand grip tightly around my forearm.

"In this case . . . ignorance is bliss Leah. If you talk to her and let her get in your head it will rip us apart."

"I'll take my chances Cullen," I rubbed his chest trying to calm his concerns I knew he was concern about what was in the woman's head but I didn't think that there was anything that would tear me away from him at this point. I went to pull away from him and he gripped me tighter.

"They talk about negative energies but she is the one who's negative," he hissed violently. Everyone stopped and looked at us.

"I don't think you mate likes me child." Rozene smirked darkly, instead of me making my way over to her she joined us.

"I think you are just as manipulative as my ex-wife and sister. I will tell her _your_ truths!" He turned to me and sighed. "She believes this will end one of three ways the first you are mine for eternity, second you die at the manipulation of the Volturi or some other outside force and you kill yourself."

"Impossible! I'm way too cocky to kill myself by the way that's only two explanations." I laughed, he simply looked at Rozene and ignored the last part of my statement.

"I know, so her worries are futile and it would be ignorant for her to voice them." Edwarrd warned, Rozene simply laughed at his demeanor.

"He didn't tell you all of my concerns," Rozene protested and now stood in front of me, "all of your confidence will be tried by the Volturi they are going to take something very precious to you away and you will question you will to live! That's the manipulation that may possibly pull you from you mate and your friends and land you six feet under or worse!" Edward hissed and stood in front of me and Rozene quickly raised her hand, I snatched Edward back and took her blow which was some painful shit I think she broke a rib it was more than enough to kill him.

"Stupid bitch! I'm gonna rip your fucking head off!" I went to go after her and Taima held me back.

"CALM YOURSELVES! LOOK WHAT YOUR JUVENILLE BEHAVIOR HAS CAUSED." A snow blizzard with hail and sleet was taking place outside our window covering the ground quickly it would have been fine if it was the right season for it. I breathed deeply and tried to think of a calming force but my heartbeat and my blood pressure stayed through the roof.

"What's going on in here?" Ness groggily whispered as she entered the room, she was holding her neck and looked uncomfortable and my focus immediately shifted.

"Nothing, what's wrong with your neck?" I moved her hand and touched the area that was causing her pain.

"It's nothing I'm just thirsty . . . it's been like a month since I've went hunting." She cleared her throat a couple of times to alleviate the pain. I looked up at Edward for explanation for this.

"I didn't realize that it had been that long since I had taken her. I haven't been thirsty since . . ." He silenced himself, he was about to reveal that I had given him my blood, "well about a month ago."

"Don't worry I'll remind your dad to take you hunting tomorrow." I smoothed the girl's hair.

"I don't know if I can wait that long Leah, even you smell good to me." She allowed her nose to run along the pulse line of my neck; then she groaned and held her neck. I couldn't stand seeing her in so much pain and I knew one way to ensure that I would never have to see her suffer again but Araina told me to be careful who I let know I had the ability to heal thirst but I couldn't let the poor kid burn. I stood up and went to the kitchen for a knife.

"No, I can't allow you to do this." Edward said pushing the drawer back shut in an attempt at stopping me.

"So you want your daughter to suffer?" I counter moving him to the side and grabbing a knife.

"No, but Ness is a child her self restraint isn't as strong as mine and neither is Rose and Emmett's for that matter if you shed your blood everyone will want to drink from you. I will take her hunting now." He turned away from me and called for his daughter, "Ness get dressed we are leaving in five minutes." She smiled slightly and ran to her room.

"Decent, I'm always up for a midnight snack." Emmett gave a big toothy grin. Taima went to open her mouth to say something but I cut her off.

"Let me guess you watch them hunt?" I said dryly watching the cold ones hunt was always something I avoided at all costs.

"Yes, I think viewing them hunt would be educational. I've seen how other vampire's feed but this should be a completely different experience.

"It's not that different, the only difference is that most of the time the victim has four legs instead of two. Rosalie rolled her eyes I don't think she took kindly to being studied like a science project.

"I don't mean to offend you I just find all walks of life interesting. If you don't want me to come I completely understand."

"I don't." Rosalie said coldly but I understood why, Rose didn't like what she was and hunting was when they allowed themselves to give into their monstrous side.

"Besides Taima you would probably become the hunted if you were out there they go after what smells the best and I'm pretty sure your blood smells better than any fawn's." I said trying to calm the tension in the room. I looked back at Edward who was waiting for his daughter to reappear. He smiled playfully at me. _I want everyone gone_. He laughed and I rolled my eyes. Within minutes the little girl bounded back into the living room and into my arms.

"Bye Leah! You'll be here when I come back right." She squeezed me tightly.

"Where else am I going to be at this hour?" I commented looking outside thankful that the snow had stopped.

"Bye Leah," Edward approached and gave me a kiss in front of everyone. It was unexpected but delicious. Emmett laughed at the looked that must've gone across my face. Once they left I was left alone with the elements again. I really didn't have much to say and apparently neither did they. I could tell that poor Taima was pissed that she didn't get to go with on the vampire hunting trip.

"Don't feel bad Taima if you ask Edward he will probably let you go when he hunt's by himself or with Ness. I really doubt there's much to see." I sighed this would be the perfect time for sleep.

"I guess you're right. I just felt bad because I think I offended the blonde one." She sighed.

"Rose is cool she'll deal." I said making my way to the kitchen I decided to consume junk in the form of potato chips for lack of anything better to do. "Just try not to treat everyone you meet like a science project." I shoved a few chips in my mouth and grabbed the remote and Rozene looked at me with disgust. "What!"

"I just can understand how you received the power of fire? You are so young and dangerous." She huffed.

"Maybe that's why I received it . . . because I'm young and dangerous." I laughed.

"Youth makes you immature and that's weakness." She advised.

"Envy makes you bitter and that's a weakness." I countered; she stood and glared at me, and then calmed herself.

"I can't stay here much longer, it's probably best for all of us if we take our leave." Rozene said addressing Taima. Taima looked down she was conflicted by what she wanted and what she was being told to do.

"Taima, I wouldn't mind if you stayed a little longer I still have tons of questions the differences between the supernatural wolves." I said as I handed her my potato chip bag, I hoped she would take my offer and embrace this to be normal and update her style.

"Hmmm," she took the bag and grabbed a chip, "maybe I could stay a little while longer." She looked at Rozene, "I will leave if my presence begins to cause a disturbance." Rozene rolled her eyes and thunder rolled lightly in the distance.

"I will probably be taking my leave at daybreak." She sighed, looked at the sky, and then to me. "You are right envy is a weakness." _

A couple hours pasts and I was left alone, my _fiancé _and his daughter had still not come home. Rozene and Taima left, I think Rozene wanted the opportunity to convince Taima that it would be best if she left Forks too but I knew that I would feel a sense of loss if she left, not for me necessarily but for her. I sighed and I flipped through the channels for the hundredth time, seriously I was actually counting how many times I made it back to channel 26, which was the channel I started on. Why do they have so much paid programming anyway? "I'm gonna to have to find some hobbies because this is fucking ridiculous?" I whispered to no one. I had actually cleaned house as a form of entertainment this is what my life has become. I heard a faint knock on the door I jumped up eager for the company but when I took time to capture in the scent I cringed with dread.

"Mrs. Cullen," I said to Esme I tried to but on a smile but I knew she was here to do Bella's bidding, she greeted me with a smile as well.

"Leah," she invited herself into my space and then I realized that Bella was behind her, my night just keeps getting better and better, "is my son here?"

"No, he and Ness when hunting," I reopened the front door, "I'll tell him you stopped by."

"Oh, we'll wait if you don't mind?" She took a seat on the couch and Bella sat beside her.

"Oookay." I murmured, I went to go into my room not wanting to fall into some sort of yelling match with them.

"Leah," Bella called for me and unfortunately for me I did the decent thing and addressed her.

"Yeah?"

"We have decided that I'm going to fight for my marriage. Now that both of our indiscretions are out in the open we can move forward and have something real." Bella looked at Esme and she smiled.

"Edward's not going to want to hear this crap! I had begged him to try to make it right with you for Ness' sake when I first came back but he couldn't. This isn't your decision . . . not completely." I said trying to leave them in the leaving room.

"It's not your decision to make either dear. It's Edward's and that's why we are here." I went to open my mouth to say something smart but decided against it.

"Okay." I calmed my energy and went to the back. I thought it was crazy how easily Esme could forgive Bella, I guess she considered her one of her children and didn't want to see her hurt but would she really hurt Edward to ensure Bella's happiness.

"I can't wait until we tell everyone!" Ness beamed as she and Edward came through the door as soon as she her mother her face dropped.

"What can't you wait to tell us sweet pea!" Esme reached out her hands to Ness, who now hid behind her father.

"Esme, Bella why are you here?" He kept his voice calm for the sake of his daughter and placed his arm around her shoulder.

"Hey kid do you wanna come with me we can pick out an outfit for you to wear tomorrow?" I said trying to get both of us out of the room.

"No, I want everyone to hear this." Bella said and then she approached Edward and placed her hand on his face.

"I've been doing some thinking and . . . I love you Edward, I never stopped I was just confused but I see so clearly now. It was never Jacob it was and will always be you Edward. I can't let you go! I won't!" She kissed him in front of all of us, crushing her lips against his.

"NOOOO! NO!" Ness tried to push her away from him. "YOU'LL RUIN EVERYTHING!" She hissed. Edward helped his daughter in her endeavors.

"She will ruin nothing. Nothing will be accomplished by behaving this way Bella. We will never be together again," Edward made eye contact with everyone in the room placing his eyes on me last.

"Will you even listen to what she has to say Edward!" Esme reprimanded.

"What is there to say? She's not confused she is just concerned with what is going to happen to her now. I have no problems with her staying a part of this coven as long as she does nothing stays away from my family." He said coldly. "You should both leave."

As soon as they both left they Ness' started to cry. "What's wrong?" She shook her head and ran to her room. I went to go after her and Edward stopped me.

"I've got it." I heard her sobs and they made my stomach churn . . . but that wasn't the only thing that had my stomach in knots, something about Bella's kiss pissed me off, would she always have that kind of nerve when it came to Edward to think that she can just make a play on him whenever she felt like it? How many times would she do it before he caved? All it would take is one argument between Edward and me and she could potentially have her husband back. It would serve me right I did steal him away from her turnabout is fair play . . . or so I have been told.

Fifteen minutes later Edward joined me in my room. I had curled up in my bed I knew I couldn't sleep but I really just didn't want to think about the stupidity that had just occurred. "Do I need to console you too?" He said as he hopped into bed with me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I laid my head on his chest. "I think we both need something positive to think about." I nodded and held him close, as the thought of he and Bella went through my head. "Leah, you don't need to be insecure." He whispered as he kissed my head.

"I'm not insecure about anything especially that conflicted trick!" I moved away from him.

"Then why are you upset my love?" He smoothed my hair away from my face. Ugh, I hated when he referred to me as my love, it made the pit of my stomach and chest tighten.

"I just . . . don't think that Bella and her _posse_ are ever going to give up on the two of you being together. Do you really want to live with that constant nagging? I don't know if I do." I huffed.

"What are you saying Leah? That you don't want to marry me because it is hard?" He arched his eyebrow at me.

"I didn't say that Cullen!" I got out of the bed and went to my closet and started flipping through the closet aimless.

"Then what are you saying? You're confusing the hell out of me!" He turned me to him forcing me into eye contact.

"I'm just asking you are you sure? I know I've asked before but I need you to be sure that you don't have one ounce of love left for your ex-wife and that you don't want her anymore." My eyes shifted back and forth as I waited for his answer. I hated feeling so anxious and so unsure. "I just need to hear you say it Cullen! God Damn!" Edward thought my behavior was funny and I thought it was on the verge of pathetic.

"Leah Clearwater, I don't want Bella and will never want her again," the words fell effortlessly out of his mouth, "I love you and no one else." I looked down and allowed myself to commit his words for memory. He used his pointer finger to guide my lips to his and guided us into a slow passionate kiss. I buried my hands in his hair and his hand slow around my waist, then lifted and wrapped my legs around his waist."You feeling better?" He breathed in my ear.

"I'm getting there . . ." I smirked as he kissed me along my neck.

"That's not good enough I want you completely better," he kissed my cheek and then switched to the opposing side of my neck, "what can I do to make you feel good?" He murmured against my neck. I led his mouth to mine and he walked us over to the bed. He pulled my cousins pink dress off me in one quick motion leaving me completely naked, then stood in front of me allowing me to watch him undress, as he pulled his last item of clothing off I crawled over to him and began placing little kisses along his chest, traveling down his abdomen until I reached my goal. I used the tip of my tongue and teased the head of his cock swirling my tongue around, then flicking back in forth, he let out groans of release, and then grabbed two fists full of my hair.

"Owww!" I murmured with my mouth full. He lessened his grip and guided my mouth to his.

"I love you Leah," his whispered then kissed my neck, "god I love you."

"You're just saying that because I give amazing head." I laughed. He actually thought about it.

"I must say it might be a contributing favor!" We both laughed. In the many times of us having sex this is the most we actually talked during the activity.

"So it's not my wit huh?" I said as he placed himself inside of me, we both took a moment adjust to friction Edward was creating.

"No . . .," Edward said breathlessly, "it's purely your ass that draws me to you." I laughed and he thrust harder against me. I moaned and began to grind against him. "Leah . . . look at me." His eyes stared into mine he wouldn't break the stare the only thing between us were our breathless groans. He kissed my forehead and then slowed his motion and issue long strokes, within minutes I was screaming. He towards the end he covered my mouth. I was enjoying myself so much I forgot to be considerate of the young girl sleeping in the room next to us.

"Sorry," I said into his hand that was still over my mouth, he just laughed and removed his hand and instead stuck two of his fingers in my mouth.

"It's not your fault love it's not your fault I know how to . . . what did Emmett call it?"

"Lay the pipe!" I rolled over with laughter, "oh my God you're so stupid!" When I rolled over I realized that the sun had come up and that a new day greeted us.

"Not just any day today I will take my woman out!" He laughed again.

"Where are we going again?" I asked.

"I never said."

"You know everything doesn't have to be a surprise. I'm just happy that we're going to do something normal . . . sort of speak." I curled up against him.

"Yeah we just have to do one thing first." He rubbed his thumb against my shoulder which was something he normally did to calm me when he was going to give me some news I wouldn't be happy with. "I promised Carlisle we'd come to the house today and then the day is ours." I didn't say anything but he knew I was pissed and so did branches on the trees as the wind whipped them violently.

"Don't worry I won't let anyone ruin today for us."

"Famous last words."

* * *

_Author's Note: I hope this chapter made up for the last one. I can't wait for the next chapter! Oh I have news, thanks to Stephycats7785 this story now has a trailer on youtube. The link is on my profile please watch and comment! And as for this chapter please read and review and remember flames are lame. _


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter 18

"No Edward!" I snapped morning had finally come and after the amazing night that we had just had, I was ruining the morning. I had this odd feeling about leaving the house today, something horrible was going to happen.

"So you don't think we should leave the house because the invisible boogeyman is going to get us?" He laughed I knew that look he thought I was being ridiculous, so I didn't plan to answer him. "Come on Leah," he wrapped arms around me, "you do know how crazy you're being. If we don't leave the house today how are we going to go on our date?" He said turning me towards him so that he could dream like stare that is supposed to put me in some sort of trance.

"That's not going to work . . . and as far as our date is concerned it could always be rescheduled. I mean hell I've waited this long what's another 24 hours." I said attempting to leave the bedroom I could hear Ness' movements in the kitchen she was probably fixing herself something to eat.

"I never knew you were so afraid of my family." He said in a mocking manner and I looked gave him the best you've go to be kidding stare I could muster. "We'll stay for thirty minutes then leave."

"You go stay as long as you like and then come back home." I countered I forced the door open regardless of the fact that most of his weight was on the door.

"Oh you'll go if I have to hitch you over my shoulder and carry you the whole way." He said pushing me into the wall in the hallway.

"No you won't Cullen . . . I'm stronger than you, I never let you get me." I smiled at him seductively.

"I can be very persuasive Leah," he said as he ran his hands along my sides and we heard someone clear their throat from the sidelines.

"Umm what's going on?" Ness said as she munched on her bowl of cereal.

"Nothing Leah and I are just having an argument." He glared playfully.

"That's what you call an argument?" Ness paused and took in the situation, "I hope I have some of those in the future." She smirked and carried her cereal to the living room.

"Now what say you Miss Clearwater?" He said slipping the tips of his icy cold finger under my shirt.

"I say you need to stop and get ready go to you family's house if you're going because I'm not." I huffed and walked away from him.

"Fine you leave me no choice," he picked up his phone, "I'll invite them here."

Fifteen minutes passed and the Cullen clan banged on our door, Edward let them in to my disapproval. To my surprise they had brought along my mother, Seth, and Embry, I guessed they all thought it was time to stage some sort of intervention. I plopped on the couch waiting for them to start spewing their venom in regards to our relationship but I seriously thought they couldn't say anything that I hadn't heard before.

"Embry!" Ness said jumping into his arms, "I feel like I haven't seen you in a million years!"

"A million years? That's a little impossible Nessie," he laughed.

"Don't call me that it makes me feel like I'm a baby or something!" She nudged him.

"You are a baby," he rolled his eyes, "do you want to go to the movies with Seth and me?" She looked up at me for approval and I shrugged my shoulders letting her know that I didn't care but it did strike me as odd that she would seek my approval over her father.

"Kay let me get my stuff!" Ness ran back to my room. In that moment I realized why they had brought Embry, he had served his purpose and got Ness out of the apartment before the sparks started to fly, I gave Embry a knowing look.

"We will back as soon as the movie is over." He said letting me know that I guess they planned to be here the duration of a movie. How long does a movie last now a days anyway . . . a hour and half . . . two hours?

"Okay." When they left and I heard the door close I knew the other shoe was about to drop, "we'll don't just sit there silent. Let's get this over with."

"Fine," Esme said being the first speaking up, "your relationship aside. We spoke with Rozene and we think that it would be best if you and Edward separate to ensure Ness' safety."

"You spoke to Rozene? What did she say?" I was shocked that I was actually listening to what Esme had to say.

"That you being with Edward could cause the death of my grandchild!" Esme looked at me with anger in her eyes. I wasn't afraid of her but just the mention of something happening to Ness and that I would be the reason for her pain or possibly her demise scared my shitless.

"She didn't say that Esme!" Rosalie spoke up, "Before Rozene left she came to us and told us to make sure the two of you are careful because if the Volturi find out about your relationship then Ness would probably be their first target. I don't think you have anything to worry about we just have to be careful and not tell them what you are . . . which should be easy because up until a about a week ago we didn't have clue what you were anyway." Rose looked at Carlisle and Esme, "this conversation is pointless."

"No it's not," Alice spoke, "I agree you're right regardless of what is felt about this." She motioned over to Edward and me, "it's about Renesmee's safety we all care about her and don't want anything to happen to her." I nodded.

"I'm supposed to believe that me keeping my distance from Edward will guarantee her safety." I said letting them know I understood the message they were trying to send. The question was did I buy it?

"It doesn't guarantee her safety but it makes if more likely that she'd be safe if you leave town," Bella stated, "matter fact if you'd leave the country that'd be great." I ignored the last sentiment completely. Part of me felt like they were right but it wasn't a matter of me leaving town, it was a matter of me convincing myself that I didn't love any of the people I loved . . . if I fell into their way of thinking. I looked over at Edward who was frowning deeply at me, he shook his head at me trying to tell me, without telling me not to fall into this trap. I just sighed deeply.

"There's no reason for the Volturi to find out about me." I said bluntly, "Why would they come to Forks again? They don't want to start a war with you without giving all of the conditions plenty of consideration. Your coven is just as large as theirs especially if you include Sam and Jacob's pack. It wouldn't make sense."

"Their actions don't have to make sense," Jasper chimed in, "they live for the element of surprise although it would be hard to catch us off guard . . . it's not impossible." I nodded processing everything that was being said to me. I was saddened because I had already came to my decision.

"OUT!" Edward stood up and opened the door, "EVERYBODY OUT!" He was pissed and I knew that it was going to be hard to make him understand but I agreed with his family.

"Honey we are just trying to make Leah see reason." Esme said trying to console her son. He pulled away from her touch and showed her the door. Then my mom saw fit to hug me and look at me with compassion.

"All lives must be considered Leah . . . not just your own happiness." She rubbed my arm.

"If you think being the cause of Ness' demise would cause me joy, then you don't know me at all." I sighed. "You should go too mom." She nodded then followed behind the rest of them. We were left alone and Edward forced a calm friendly smile on his face.

"You should get ready, I'll call Embry and see if they can keep Ness a while longer." He picked up his phone and I placed my hand on his to stop him.

"Come on Cullen you know that our date plans are deader than you are." I laughed slightly and headed to my room to pack.

"Should I waste my breath trying to stop you?" I shook my head as I found an overnight bag to throw my stuff in.

"I don't want this . . .," I felt I needed to explain, "but I would rather be alone and unhappy than be the cause of any harm to your child. I love you but her life is more precious than our love." He opened his mouth to speak but then decided against it.

"This is wrong . . ." he whispered, "we've been through this before we can't be without each other. Together we could keep Ness protected." His eyes were damned near teary, I placed my hand on his cheek and a tear literally fell. I think we were both surprised, I know I didn't know a vampire could cry.

"I can't risk anything happening to you either Edward . . . or any of the other people I care about. I'm going to stay and finish out this program but I need to get away from you I need to forget you and that all of this ever existed.

* * *

To my surprise Edward let me leave easily and for that I was thankful I planned to Billy Blacks house, spend the night, and then return to my apartment in Seattle in the morning. I knocked on the door and was surprised by who opened it.

"Taima?" I was surprised she was here and by her wardrobe, she wearing on of Jacob's oversized T-shirts and nothing else. "Umm . . . what are you doing here?"

"Jacob was kind enough to allow me to stay here since I really had no where else to go." She said allowing me into the house.

"I hope he has room for one more," I said placing my stuff on the couch.

"You? Why? Shouldn't you be enjoying your happily ever whatever with your mate?" Taima said curiously.

"Yeah Clearwater what gives?" Jacob said groggily stumbling into the living room. "Shouldn't you be spooning with your leech?"

"I can't be with him." I murmured, "I don't want to get into it." I said going to their closet and pulling out some blankets.

"Oh but you must. You must be with him because you love him and he loves you . . . and there are other reasons." She said hesitantly.

"Really," I said as I put the finishing touches on my makeshift bed. Of course I couldn't sleep but I needed some place to cuddle and be depressed. I mean I think I was owed that much. Once again I had been engaged and I had to give up the one I love for the greater good of someone besides myself. This time it's worse because I knew that not only was Edward going to hate me but so will Ness.

"Yeah . . . you two together lead the war against the Volturi but you have to be _together,_ or at least that was how it was told to me." Taima said bluntly, "If the war is to be won that's the way it must go."

"But about what happened to Araina? What if they find out about me and decide to kill all of my love ones?" I brought my knees to my chest this was the first time I allowed myself to show that I was worried, hell I was pass worried I was seriously scared.

"I'm glad you are concerned about Ness but . . . and I can't believe I'm saying this but you shouldn't just throw you relationship with Edward away. That would be really stupid, I may have been against it before but you two work together. I think we all could protect Ness from the Volturi." Jacob said sitting beside me and Taima sat on the other side.

"Besides the Volturi has never fought two Elements together before . . . it's never been done . . . I don't think we'll have a problem." She smiled. "But who's to say that we will even be fighting anytime soon. That's the thing are you going to live through possible a century or more not being with the one you love just on a hunch." I took a deep breath and tried to digest everything she was saying. I didn't want admit it but they were right I had jumped to fast now I had to hope that my fiancé wasn't so pissed that he didn't want to be with me anymore.

"Well since you're here we could get the pack together chill out have a few beers?" Jacob said as he already grabbed the phone and started dialing. I guess it would be a good idea to relax a little maybe take a break from thinking about Edward, Ness, and what I am . . . to have a moment to just be bitchy comical Leah. I sighed and l sat back down on Jacob's floor. Taima sat in front of me and began to study my expression.

"Stop staring it's rude!" I smirked.

"Sorry, Jacob tells me the same thing but I just used to watching people and creatures movements. I'm working on it." She laughed then sighed getting on the floor with me, " but you seemed to be concerned with you situation. I don't know much about romantic relationships but I think you should call him to clear the air."

"I don't really like to admit I'm wrong . . . my plan is to just go home and pretend like it never happened." She rolled her eyes and laughed.

"Maybe Edward will fine it refreshing that you were a little vulnerable." She smirked confidently and then left the room. I sighed and pulled out my cell phone, called him, and it went to voicemail. I tried to mask it but I was immediately concerned, Edward usually answered his phone within the first ring matter of fact that was the first time I'd heard it and it was pretty dull. I sighed and prepared myself for the immature antics of the two packs but the more I tried to calm myself but I actually started feel like my heart was being ripped from my chest.

"You alright?" Quil said handing me a beer but for some reason I didn't want it the thought of it made my stomach bitter. I nodded mindlessly.

"Actually no," I said as I snapped out of my trance, "I want to go home." I said heading toward the door, the whole time Edward's name was repeating itself in my head.

"Seriously Leah we just got here and I was promised drinks and a mad cool time," he whined and shook me but I couldn't laugh at his annoying behavior, I couldn't pay him much attention at all.

"I've got to go tell Jake I'm sorry kay?" I said as I made my way to the back door.

"Hang on Lee I'll drive you, it looks like it could pour any minute or . . . is that you?" He looked concerned and I made sure to give none of my emotions away in my face.

"Well if you going come on then!" I said pulling him out of the door.

* * *

The closer I got to our apartment the worse I felt so much so that when we pulled up in the driveway I practically jumped out of the car. When I stepped an overwhelming smell of sticky sweet exploded through my nostrils causing me to almost get sick. Then I heard the moans.

"Oh yess Edward! Oh God you're so good!" She moaned. I fumbled for my keys and hurriedly opened the door and saw a naked Bella on top of her husband. I dropped my keys right and then I lost my lunch.

"Leah . . . I, I'm sorry I don't know what happened but . . ." I pulled myself from the squatting position I was now in. "I lost control of myself and everything she started to say made sense . . . I'm really perplexed."

"Perplexed? PERPELEXED! I'LL GIVE YOUR FUCKING ASS PERPLEXED!" I shoved him so hard that he flew into the wall. "I'm not even gonna waste my breath or my energy on yelling at you or kicking your ass but I'm going tell you this don't ever talk to me, look at me, or even breathe in my direction ever again!" I was so filled with rage that my hands began to shake and the thunder outside was so vile and loud that I couldn't even stand it.

"Can you really blame him for coming back to me? I mean I am the love of his life you were just a form of entertainment that went too far." She laughed not even bothering to cover her nakedness of the smell of her sex. I pinned her to the wall and had every intention of killing her when I saw Ness and Embry standing in the door way. She looked scared of me and my heart crumbled. She did have a valid reason to be scared I had thrown her father against the wall and he had yet to get up. I let her go and stormed out of the apartment. I hoped that Quil hadn't left but I was left disappointed and heartbroken. Then one single raindrop fell on my forehead to be followed by millions and billions.

* * *

A broke down nasty motel is where I ended up spending my time. I didn't know how I got there or when I had arrived all I knew is that spent the entire time sitting on the foot of the bed never moving from that spot. I watched the sun rise, or more appropriately I watched what little bit of daylight forced itself to peaked through the clouds that I could only assume that I was creating. All I could hear was the constant hammer like beating in my head and all I could really focus on was the picture Bella riding Edward on the couch that we used spoon on and where we spent time with his daughter, now all I would remember is that that's where he shoved his dick in that bitch. Then another part of me felt that I was being extremely hypocritical had I not stolen Edward away from her, she simply returned the favor the only difference was that she had the decency to do it before we actually got married, then again she didn't even we were planning to if she had known she may have waited to seduce him to make her revenge sweeter. I covered my ears in a shallow attempt at tuning out the pounding.

"Leah open this damned door!" Rosalie yelled and at least I knew I hadn't gone completely crazy, but I had no intention of opening the door.

"Go away and leave me the hell alone." I said in horse voice it strained from all of the sobbing.

"We've giving you time to be alone Leah but it's been almost a week it's time to get back to the real world." She continued from the other side of the door.

"A week?" I opened the door, "it only felt like a day had passed." I shrugged and sat back down.

"Yeah people were starting to worry but didn't have enough balls to come and check on you except me of course . . . oh Taima she helped me find you but couldn't come the full way she said something about your temperament and her chemistry causing an even bigger disturbance than the tornados we've been experiencing." Rose shrugged it off and sat beside me, "are you coming back?"

"No."

"I think you should nothing feels right about this situation something is most definitely up." Rosalie commented, "Edward love for you was like . . ."

"Please don't go there . . . I don't even want to here that name." I got up from the bed started pacing.

"Fine I'll just say that it's weird and that you shouldn't go until we figure out what's going on." I looked at her confused.

"Who's we I'm certainly not going to try to snoop on Edward and his wife. She is his wife he just fell back in love with her there's nothing wrong with that." I sighed.

"But not a few minutes earlier he was in love with you, Edward doesn't run hot and cold that way." I didn't respond. "Well just stay so that you can get the medical credits it will look good on your applications for you to be working with someone as established Carlisle." She did have a point but I was tired of all of this.

"No offense Rosalie but being around all of you is reminder of . . . the life I lost." She nodded and repositioned slightly not because she needed to it was almost like she was compelled to comfort me but then changed her mind.

"You know what's best for you I guess but if you are going to make a future for yourself you should go ahead start here." She got up and headed for the door. "I'm headed out I hope to see you soon."

"Yeah," I stayed on the bed I think she was waiting for me to tell her I was coming with her but she wouldn't here those words from me today. I needed time to heal, Edward had hurt me a million times worse than Sam did so many years ago he had cut me raw and I was numb, not only that but a child that I loved like she was my own would probably hate me for the rest of her life, her mother would probably see to it. I had lost everything I could just sit here in stare into space it would be just as productive as trying to go on with living now because everything would just be in colors of grey and I would turn into the person that tried so desperately to pull away from. The bitch would be reborn if I had to go back, I didn't want to put up walls, I didn't want to be strong, I just wanted to sit on the bed and stare at the wall.

* * *

The daylight passed twice before I decide to rejoin the land of the living. I went back to Seattle settled back into my old apartment and then went back to work. The first bloodsucker I had the pleasure of seeing was Carlisle and his face showed extreme features of remorse.

"Hello Leah," he spoke as I put the files that Nancy wanted me to deliver on his desk, "how are you doing?" He tried to keep a professional tone but of course he was searching me to see if I was still messed up in the head over his son but I wouldn't give any of them the satisfaction of seeing me puffy eyed and stupid over Cullen.

"I'm just dandy Carlisle. Did you have any work for me or can I go to ER and help with admissions." I gave him the numbest look I could muster.

"Edward is working in admissions today," he said looking through his desk for something for me to do, "you could file these things take as long as you'd like." I think he was trying to help me either that or he considered me weak over this situation.

"You don't have to give me work to help me avoid your son. I can do that all on my own, besides I don't have anything to feel bad about he's the one that should feel like shit."

"Trust me he does, he like the rest of us doesn't know what's going on. What Edward and I first suspected couldn't be true because he would have heard the thoughts of at least one party involved. I just can't believe that he could fall out of love with you and back into the arms of Bella after one argument." Carlisle sighed and handed me some more papers. As I filed the work we started talking about some of the patients that I had met while I was here before all of the weird element shit started to go down.

"So what about Marie's husband and baby have they left the hospital yet?" I asked finishing up the filing. Marie and her husband were in a really bad car accident Marie was driving and it caused her to go into premature labor, luckily for her she was released but her husband and new child continue to suffer.

"Actually umm, her husband passed away . . . and the baby is in NICU his lungs weren't fully developed and we are having some trouble repairing it." Carlisle didn't seem as unnerved by the news as I was. I mean maybe it was because I had kind of been attached to Marie she was such a sweet lady she was in her late thirties and she had finally found the man she wanted to spend the rest of her life with just to have fate rip him away from her not only that it looked like she may lose her baby. If I were here I might have been able to heal her husband in some way but I was off sobbing over that stupid leech.

"Carlisle I have to see that baby!" I pulled him from his seat taking him toward the door.

"Leah you do not have clearance to tend to anyone in this hospital especially anyone in intensive care. How would I explain having you in there?" He countered.

"You'll think of something Carlisle!" He dug his heals into the ground stressing his urge to stop so I unwillingly paused.

"I can't do this Leah if you touch the baby and something happens to him, his blood will be on your hands that whole area is a very sterile place. I just can't risk it." I growled slightly then walked away without Carlisle. I found an empty room to sit in a collect my thoughts I allowed one tear to drop for Marie, I could really relate to her pain, I thought I was about to be happy too . . . to have a husband and a child that I loved so much that it should be my own blood but life just continues to fuck with me.

"Leah?" Edward voice and scent filled the room and made my stomach churn he was right on time to stab another dagger into me.

"Didn't I tell you to leave me the hell alone," I whispered as calmly as possible but the thunder let me temperament be known. I never looked at him I didn't want to relive any memories of join or pain where he was concerned I just wanted him out of my space.

"I could get you in to see the baby." I offered him a quick glance. Was this his way of trying to make peace with me?

"This is my way of trying to save that baby's life. I like Marie too she deserves to be happy." With that he walked with me silently to NICU and we paused in front of the windows. "NICU has an all girl staff although I don't usually do this it should be really easy." He went in and had the whole staff distracted in a matter of two minutes I quickly stepped in and found Marie's baby.

"Hello little one," I said as I disconnected the glove that they use to touch the baby so that I could touch his little hand. "You are having such a hard time breathing," I said in a little baby voice I touched his little stomach and inhaled a big breath then exhale as I did the baby took actions the longer I held my hand on him the easier his breathing became so much so that I wanted to disconnect him from the machine he was in but I instead stepped out of the area and waited for the nurses to look him over. As soon as I stepped out I heard Edward excusing himself from the area. He walked out into the hall with me.

"Thanks," I said before trying to walk off.

"Leah . . . I want to talk about it. I want to apologize for it, even though I don't understand why it happened . . . Bella is even more convinced that I belong with her and I'm still confused." I rolled my eyes I can't believe I had actually stood and listened to this shit.

"I can help you with your confusion be with Bella-slut because I'm not interested in ever being with you again." I laughed arrogantly.

"I know that's not true," he said bluntly, "and I still have feelings for you but I just love Bella . . . I can't explain it." He frowned as if he were trying to figure it out.

"Well I hope you two are happy together." I walked away from him before the urge to kill overwhelmed me.

"Leah . . . wait I love you too I didn't mean it the way it sounded." He said as he finally caught up to me.

"Look Edward, we shouldn't speak anymore okay?" I looked down at my red crocks.

"But . . .," he paused and sighed, "okay."

* * *

_Author's Note: _

_Okay it should be pretty clear what's going on right now and there's a reason why no one's picked up on it yet. There is a reason for this sad horrible chapter! I will try to put the next chapter hopefully by next week. As always read and review. _


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter 19

Since I had no life and no desire to sleep I did what any self respecting woman would do, I worked. I worked 24 hour shifts at the hospital and spent any other time I had taking online courses or in the library or yoga. I loved my yoga it was the closest thing in my life to sleep but most of my energies were focused on getting the hell outta this place. My goal was to be through the stupid general requirements and on to bigger better things in a matter months. I was pretty sure that I knew every nurse in the building and had learned quite a few little tricks that I shouldn't know how to do. It had been two and a half weeks since Edward went stupid and I still hadn't made myself numb to his presence, but I kept myself busy so instead of being bitter whenever he tried to talk to me I conveniently had something more important to do. Another thing that made me warm all over was the fact that he did get back with Bella . . . he said that it was I wasn't responsive to any of his pleas for us to talk and I told him to drop dead. But this time he wasn't taking my subtle comments lying down.

"I need to talk to you before anyone else does." He said pulling me from my admissions desk his cold icy grip around my arm that would have normally aroused me sent a chill of disgust down my spine.

"I have nothing to say to you get the hell off of me!" I snapped in quiet yet vicious whisper.

"Good because all I want you to do is listen . . . it's about me and Bella, were getting remarried . . . it was Alice's idea but . . ."

"You decided to go along with it . . . I don't care," I put the clipboard down and went to walk away from him, "I promised Jayden in 414 D I would see him before he was released today." Jayden was one of the patients that had attached themselves to me he was four years old and had a ton of energy loved to talk and tell stories and I would sit with him and fuel to his imagination, I actually got him into liking the idea of werewolves and superheroes.

"I just wanted to let you know before Alice or Esme came through and delivered the invitations." He said remorsefully. Now I was pissed everyone was going to be buzzing about this shit and I was not gonna have it. I went to walk away but then the bitter bitch that I used to be turned her ugly head and thunder outside announced her presence, it hadn't stopped raining since the night of Edward's stupidity, there were simply lighter and harder days the thunder now that was new.

"You stupid fucking leeches . . .," I growled and my hands shook slightly, "I expect it from them but not you, even if YOU don't love me anymore how could YOU allow them to do this . . . not two weeks ago WE were engaged! You stupid fucking . . .." Before I could finish my statement I noticed another couple of bloodsuckers hanging on my every word.

"Engaged . . . I didn't know you two were engaged." Something dropped in Jasper's face; Carlisle also looked at me as if he could feel my pain.

"Not that it matters now." I walked away from them the annoying hammer like noise began to ring again.

"Leah," Carlisle followed me, "the hospital wanted me to offer you this . . . it's a full scholarship to the best university in the area in hopes that you will continue to work here while you obtain your degree. I told them I would be more than happy to deliver it to you and I am so proud of you."

"Carlisle you know where you can stick you pride," I growled and then took a deep breath in an attempt to refocus my emotions, "look you know as well as I do that I need to get out of here I can't accept this." I handed it back to him.

"You will take this and my family will be leaving. I am the head of my household and we will do just that. Esme and the rest may think that a marriage will be taking place here but it will not be happening if they decided to recommit it will not be done here. We have done far too much to you and your family it is time that we go." He touched my shoulder and smiled slightly. "I like you Leah and I have come to feel that you belong in my family, however I would never force Edward to love anyone, but I can admit that I feel he is making the same mistake twice. I will miss you once we leave."

"Me too Carlisle," I hugged him loosely, "you taught me a lot. Now I have to go see Jayden."

Jayden had been my little experiment; I would come visit him everyday, I was curious to see if my simply being around someone would cause their health to increase. I don't know if I really helped his health but his spirits seemed to be uplifted when I would spend time with him not once did I touch the boy until the yesterday I simply grabbed his little hand and told him everything was going to be okay. Little Jayden had a severe case of pneumonia he could barely breathe on his on when he was brought in he had been here for a while for some reason the doctor's could fully get him cured. I didn't know all the details I didn't have the clearance for all the information I did know that they didn't have any plans on releasing him anytime in the near future . . .until today.

"Hey little man how are you feeling today?" I asked, his mom was at his other side and she smiled at me.

"I feel real good Miss Leah it doesn't hurt when I breathe anymore." He gave me a big smile and reached for my hand.

"Well I really happy to hear that. Do you have a story for me today?" I said sitting beside him, he nodded excitedly.

"Once upon a time there was a sad little boy who was being held prisoner by the white vests. He couldn't get out because there were so many of them and he was tired and could barely breathe but one day he met a beautiful princess and she laughed and joked with him everyday. He thought she was the most awesome person in the prison . . . then one day she told him that she had magic powers and that she would take him away from the prison and make him strong and he didn't believe her until he took her hand and all of sudden he wasn't tired anymore . . . the end." He smiled up at me.

"That's a mad awesome story Jayden I liked it a lot you should draw me some pictures so that I can remember every word." I handed him a box of crayons and he got right to work. I decided to leave the room and allow them their time together.

"Miss Clearwater?" He mother stepped into the hallway with me. "I wanted to thank you for staying close to my son. He thinks you're a princess." She laughed.

"I'm just glad he's feeling better . . . have the doctor's said anything about his condition?" I asked even though I had no right to.

"Actually they said that he had improved dramatically enough to go home today . . . they said it was almost as if he had healed himself overnight. Strange huh?" She smiled.

"Sounds like a blessing. I'm happy for you both." I said as I made my exit. At least I could make others happy even if I was slightly miserable. Speaking of miserable, Alice and Bella were making their way down the hall. I was hoping they would walk past me and pretend I wasn't here.

"Leah," Alice said in a way too happy tone and an arrogant smug grin on her face, "have you seen our husbands?"

"Yeah downstairs in admissions . . . with all your talents I would have thought that would found them as soon as you entered the building you must be losing it in your old age." I smirked slightly and she laughed.

"Did Jasper give you the invite to Bella and Edward's wedding?" Alice said putting her arm around Bella.

"No he didn't, but I heard about it . . . congratulations." I forced a fake smile and tried to move on.

"What no bitchy snide remark?" Bella stepped to me confidently.

"Don't step up on me!" I warned, "There are a lot of things I could say right now but none of them are as impressive as what I could do to _your_ fucking ass so I would appreciate it if you wouldn't push me!" She stepped back like I thought she would. I sighed and smoothed my scrubs and then my beeper for the time. "Why was I paged to the gift shop?" I walked past them completely ignoring their presence.

In the gift shop was Rosalie, Taima, and Rebecca, pretending to shop around. Rebecca was the first one to say anything. "Took you long enough we had Carlisle page you like twenty minutes ago." She huffed.

"I am working you know . . . why's the total population of Forks making their way to the hospital today?" I said talking about all of them.

"We are here to set in motion operation make it stop raining a.k.a. cheer Leah up." Taima said happily.

"Carlisle cut your shift in half so that we could do a little girl bonding." Rosalie smirked and I rolled my eyes. "I know it sound lame to me too at first but I promise you'll enjoy it. Come on let's go." She tried to pull me but I stalled until I was pushed by Taima. Then I had no choice I was being kidnapped.

* * *

A mall. If they thought coming to hang out at a mall would give me peace of mind, their attempt at female bonding blows. I huffed as I sat on the floor beside Rebecca's fitting room. She came out in this purple dress that I will admit looked cute enough but I was definitely not in any sort of mood for this kind of stuff. "Wow you look amazing!" Taima clapped at least she was thoroughly entertained. "Doesn't she look great Leah?" She nudged me trying to include me in their attempt at fun.

"If I say yes can I go home?" I grumbled.

"No." Rosalie said handing me an outfit. I pushed it away from my face, "Look Clearwater if you don't at least try I'm going to be really pissed off." She shoved in my direction again and I snatched it. I went in the fitting room to try the stupid outfit on, it was a black dress, they really should have picked black if they were trying to cheer me up black is the color of death and mourning. I unzipped the dress and attempted to get in it the stupid thing didn't fit, I took it back off and looked at the tag, "size 5," I was confused I have been a size five for years why on Earth wasn't the back closing. "What the hell?"

"You okay in there?" Becca knocked.

"The stupid back won't close!" I fumbled with the zipper until I broke it, "Shit now I have to pay for a dress that I can't even wear!" I came out in my scrubs and through the dress on the ground, then plopped back down on the floor myself. "This is the opposite of a good time."

"Maybe the dress just runs small," Rosalie shrugged, "I could get you a bigger size if you want." I just shook my head and the loud hammer came crashing down on me again.

"No I don't want another damn size," I said ripping the dress from my body, "can anybody else hear that shit!" I covered my ears, "God just make it stop!" I whined. They all looked at each other and then me like I had lost my mind.

"Hold on wait . . . everyone be quiet." After everyone was silenced Rosalie smiled, "a new heartbeat that's what you're hearing somebody here is going to have a young one." I looked at the others because I knew they it couldn't be talking about me.

"It's you Leah," Rosalie rolled her eyes at me then laughed, "you're going to have my niece or nephew!" I frowned this would be a happy moment if it weren't for the fact that Edward was now back with his wife, my heart ached at the news, the one person I would want to share this with no longer wants anything to do with me.

"Yeah, I can't wait to tell my baby daddy!" I rolled my eyes and sighed, "Look, I know it maybe stupid but I want to be one hundred percent sure . . . maybe I should pee on a stick or something?" Hopefully Rosalie was just delusional and hopeful for something to tie me to the Cullen family. I wouldn't want to be stuck in hell if I didn't have to.

* * *

We made it back to my apartment with the little brown bag the carried the absolute answer to something that could change my life dramatically. To my surprise someone had already let themselves into my house. I cut the light on and got ready to kick the intruder's ass, but it was just Emmett and the little girl that I had missed more than anything in this whole world. "Hey kid!" I hugged her and she returned the favor hesitantly, I pulled away knowing that she was probably mad at me. "How have you been?"

"Do you really care?" She pouted, "You let them take me away from you! How could you do that!" One tear dropped down her cheek and she wiped it quickly.

"I didn't . . . I thought you were afraid of me and that you were afraid of me after what you saw." I said sitting down, I noticed that Rebecca went into the bathroom with the bag.

"I wasn't afraid . . . I was confused as hell. I walked into a room were both my parents were naked, my dad had been thrown across the room and you were strangling my mother I had a right to be a little taken back but I wasn't mad at you. If anything I'm mad at my dad for falling for the obvious." She sighed.

"The obvious?" Ness then issued me a look that made me believe she thought I was clueless.

"It's what everybody thinks." She said blankly. "That dad's emotion's are being screwed with and that there's only one person that we know that has that special talent." She laughed darkly, "I haven't even been able to look at Jasper with a straight face since this whole thing started."

"Yeah I even think its Jasper and I lack any supernatural knowing of anything." Rebecca came back into the room with a beer, I was about to upset about her taking one but I wouldn't be able to drink any in the foreseeable future.

"Yeah but we don't have any proof. I know that Bella's probably shielding him and Edward will believe anything she says while under Jasper's persuasion." Rosalie said numbly, "That's why you can't leave Leah not until the truth has been told . . . especially now."

"We just need to influence this Jasper fellow to our way of thinking. Make him feel guilty about what he has done to Leah and make him stop what he's doing to Edward." Taima said thoughtfully.

"What would make him feel guilty?" Rebecca posed the question and then looked as if a light bulb went off in her head. I knew what she was thinking and I covered her mouth before you could share her idea. "We're not telling him that!" She wanted him to know that I was having a baby and I still wasn't sold on whether or not that was true and part of me didn't want to know. That meant that if we were wrong and Jasper didn't have any sort of "spell" on Edward, I would be forced to raise this baby alone. Even if Jasper was affecting Edward's feelings for Bella I wasn't sure I was going to be able to take him back, I didn't know if I would be able to endure seeing him making love to his wife and know that all it would take was a wave of lust from Jasper for it to happen again.

"We could tell him that Edward had asked you to marry him." Ness offered, "That will truly eat at him. Due to the era that Jasper and dad were human in marriage is a sacred thing that they wouldn't normally engage in unless truly in love with the woman. That's why I was completely thrown by this entire thing, dad wouldn't just fall out of love with you it's just not possible."

"He did with you mother." I reminded her and went to grab a water bottle from the fridge since I couldn't have a delicious satisfying beer.

"My mother was changed after my birth not only was she physically changed but her way thinking started to slowly changed she became a different person. I never knew the woman my dad fell in love with." Sadness hit her eyes that couldn't bear to see. "It would be different with you Leah, no matter want you are Leah and he will always love you, Jasper love spell excluded." I hugged her briefly.

"Thanks kid you said exactly what I needed to hear." She wrapped herself around me and pulled me closer.

"Leah will you promise me one thing." I nodded.

"If you ever decide you really need to leave . . . take me with you." I looked up a Rosalie because I knew that she would understand plight I would be in by answering this question.

"I will do my best." I spoke in as calm a tone that I could muster.

* * *

After we sat and talked and joked for a while Emmett came back and picked Ness back up. Everyone sat anxious to see what my little stick would say. So we all crammed into my little bathroom Rebecca held her cell phone in her hand counting down the minutes.

"Wait until your mother finds out!" Rebecca laughed and I shook her head.

"She'll probably drop dead or wish for the baby's death I can hear her now reprimanding me for getting pregnant by a married man." I hung my head slightly and held my hand at my stomach not until now did I actually felt a slight pudgy area at my abdomen but that could just be weight gain it doesn't have to be a baby.

"It's time!" Rebecca squealed, "What does it say?" I looked at the down at the stick that I was holding so tightly and a little pink plus showed clear as day.

"It says I'm knocked up." I said numbly and all the others seemed happy and excited, but I was so the opposite.

"Are you crying?" Rose asked me and I wiped my tears.

"This wasn't supposed to happen . . . none of this was supposed to happen Edward and I were just having fun and it was taken way out of control!" I stormed into the living room, I didn't want to raise this baby alone and I wasn't. I was going to get Edward back I didn't care what I was going to have to do. I grabbed my coat and got ready to go to the Cullen Mansion.

"Dude what are you doing?" Rebecca asked a very basic nature that made me realize my behavior was a little erratic.

"I don't want to raise this baby alone . . . we need a plan."

"Mission get Leah's baby daddy back, I'm totally down." Becca hugged me.

"Me too!" Taima said holding up her cup of tea.

"You didn't even have to be pregnant for me to want you back with Edward," Rosalie mused, "so what's the plan?"

* * *

_Author's Note_

_I hoped you all liked this chapter! I can't wait for the chapters to come I think this story may be a little longer than I thought it was going to be. In your reviews you could give me idea of what revenge would be appropriate for the group that pulled Edward from Leah. So please read and review and tell me what you think. _


	20. Chapter 20

_Author's Note: One review said something very interesting that actually made me change the dynamic for the next couple of chapters (__Before you think up a revenge we have to let Jasper wake up to his wife's machinations)__. Thanks Maying38 the next couple chapters are inspired by you!_

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* * *

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Chapter 20

As much time as we spent coming up with a proper plan that would achieve my two goals, getting Edward back and making Jasper snap fate had its on plan, before we could set anything into motion I was thrown into the Cullen's house a lot sooner than expected. Carlisle brought some work home and had called me over to help him get through it quicker . . . which was fine but I wasn't sure exactly what help I would be to him considering the fact that at home he could type at his normal speed and he didn't have to pretend to sleep. So I stood on their front door knocking, knocking, and then banging. "What the hell? I thought leeches had super hearing?" I went to know on the door again and almost punched me ex-lover in the face. "What are you deaf?" I said stepping past him and entering the living room. I took of my coat and was thankful that I had worn a baggy shirt to cover my growing little bump.

"Sorry, I wasn't expecting anyone so I was my room . . . headphones." He shrugged and then frowned. "Why are you here?"

"Carlisle called me . . . did you forget how to read minds as easy as you forgot you were in love with me?" I laughed darkly, I was seriously trying to be a smart ass but that one stung me a little. I sighed and then noticed the look of concern on his face.

"I'm a big girl I'm over it," he looked out the window I assumed he was indicating the rain that was still pouring from the sky, "it's not nearly as bad as yesterday. Yesterday I wouldn't have stood here explaining myself." I even smiled a little. "So where's Carlisle?"

"He went with Alice, Bella, Esme, and Jasper to shop for this wedding thing. He is determined that the wedding will not take place here but he knows that Alice and Bella especially want it performed here so he's going with them to make sure that don't pull anything underhanded." He smirked a little.

"How do you feel about the wedding being pushed back?" I wanted to know if he was truly excited about recommitting to Bella it's one thing to feel a new feeling of love for someone but it's completely different notion to want marry someone.

"I'm relieved . . . I don't want to disappoint her but I'm still unsure about everything that's going on but she's pushing for this and when she asked me I couldn't say no." He looked ashamed as if he were confessing to murder, "I'm so sorry Leah I shouldn't be telling you this."

"It's whatever." I shrugged and sat down. "I think I'm just going to wait for Carlisle here I don't want to waste gas since I did drive . . . don't really like driving in the rain but it is better than walking." I laughed giving my best life is grand tone, he smirked too, I think it was partly due to him thinking I was full of shit.

"Rosalie and Emmett went hunting they'll probably be gone for the rest of the day . . . they like too . . . ummm" He paused as if he were looking for the proper word.

"Fuck after they hunt yeah she told me. I kind of get it you on a high after a fresh kill and you are giving into the most primal nature of yourself, violence, rage, and lust consumes us all, human, wolfman, and leech it makes no difference." Then I frowned realizing that he picked the question out of my head before I could ask it.

"Sorry I can't help it I'm just very in tune to what you're thinking. That hasn't changed I want to know and see everything the way you do but I am trying to stop . . . out of respect for you." Something in his eyes changed they got darker not until then had I noticed that he had sat on the couch with me and his proximity.

"You did it again." I said refocusing my stare to the television that was on at a dull whisper. "If you keep raping and molesting my mind I'm going to have to call the police in regards to these felonies." I joked as I turned the volume up on the TV to separate us.

"And then you will end up in the mental asylum for thinking that another person can lift thoughts from your mind . . . and playing with you mind isn't a felony and I don't think I'm doing that." He countered confidently thinking that he one upped me.

"What do you call telling a woman that you loved them, forcing them to say it too, and then leaving them for your ex-wife whom you claimed to want no parts of. Maybe you're right they would lock me up in the nut house because anyone who has gone through what I have would need a straight jacket by now." I got up and went to their kitchen I knew they were bound to have some fake out food or something since I knew about my situation I was more aware of the changes in my hormones, personality, and appetite. Before I used to eat a lot but know if felt like I hardly ever stopped eating or drinking I always wanted something. I raided their kitchen cabinets and found some of Ness' favorite cereal I knew she wouldn't mind if I had a bowl. When I turned around Edward was right behind me holding the milk he startled me slightly, I lost balance, and he reached out to touch me but decided against it.

"So how'd you get out of shopping for your own wedding? I would have thought that you would have been dragged around to the stores too." I took the milk from him and went to the counter furthest away from him to fix my food. It was crazy that after everything that had happened I was so easily aroused by simply being in his presence. Even though I knew Jasper was probably behind our separation I didn't want to let Edward in so easy that and the fact that I wanted Alice and Bella to pay.

"Alice hates shopping with me because I hate to shop. We never agree on anything and I she knows what the wedding is going to look like before even entering the stores so I don't understand why it takes her so long to make her decisions." He approached me and took the bowl of cereal away from me. "Is it true what you were just thinking?"

"What?" I crunched on the last bit of cereal in my mouth I had pretty much inhaled most of the cereal all that was left was the milk which I never drank so I wasn't but so pissed that he had taken my food from me.

"I could only get some parts . . . it seems like you are still attracted to me. Is that true?" He words were broken up and looked guilty for even asking the question but he had no reason to feel guilty because I had not intention on answering a stupid question that would only serve to magnify his ego. "The only reason I ask is because seeing you today has been good . . . extremely good for me. I hadn't realized how much I've missed you." I tried not to let his words affect me but it was good to know I was missed but it was weird that he would be able to feel this. A million thoughts ran through my mind trying to figure it out, Jasper's not here and he had no reason to think that I was coming so he let his guard down . . . this was my Edward standing in front of me not some warped Emo manipulated version. I watched as he tried to make sense of my thoughts, one good thing about becoming an element was the speed of my thoughts really did multiply so Edward could still see most of it but at times it's so fast that he can't much sense out of it.

"Stop trying to rack my brain . . . of course I'm still attracted to you don't you remember that spiel you gave me about how pretty you are and how everything about you is supposed to lure me in and do you remember what I told you?" He immediately started laughing.

"That it was bullshit . . . how could anyone ever be _really_ attracted to someone that smells like me?" He stepped closer I didn't know if it was voluntary or not but he was backing me into a corner, I could get out but I wasn't sure if I wanted to. "Of course I knew you were full of it . . . after all we were laying in your bed naked after a good three hours a love making."

"Fucking . . . not love making. All we did was fuck back then." My eyes dropped and I began to focus on my fingers I couldn't look him in the face I couldn't show him what I was feeling right now because I couldn't make heads or tails of it. I wanted him so badly but the visions of Bella on top of him were so strong.

"All I've ever done was make love to you Leah," he hesitantly reached out and brushed his thumb against my cheek, "that's all I've ever wanted to do." He brought his lips down on mine; my desire for him was so strong that I couldn't push him away. He bit my bottom lip before slowly forcing his cool tongue into my mouth. Our tongues pressed against each other so tightly as if they were trying to permanently stick together until he began to fully examine my mouth at first he was rough and hard, then his kiss became more slow and romantic. His hands went from my face to my waist as he pulled our bodies closer together and I could feel throbbing hard on against my thigh. His hands were firm and strong as he made his way up my spine and then to my breasts. That's when he finally broke the kiss he took a staggered breath and then went to kiss me again but I stopped him.

"St-stop what and the hell was that? You're with Bella you can't have us both . . . not this time." I pushed him away and he actually hissed at me. It hurt me to do it, I was so wet that it seeped past my panties and onto my jeans which was extremely uncomfortable but I couldn't allow him to think that we would go full circle I would not be satisfied being his mistress . . . again. He took a few deep breaths and his more human side began to resurface, remorse and confusion took over his face and I actually felt sorry for him. "Don't look that way Cullen, we've done worse things." I touched his shoulder and then made my way to living room to grab my stuff. I couldn't stay in the house alone with him, I had thought I could but all that would be accomplished if I stayed here would be sex stains on Esme's pretty white carpet. I couldn't risk doing anymore damage and then him turning into Bella's love zombie again. As soon as I grabbed my bag I felt his cold grasps around my wrists, his action put me on the defensive and I immediately forced him to remove his grasps.

"I . . . I know this is extremely selfish and a pig headed thing to ask for but I wish you wouldn't leave. I want you to stay here with me. I won't touch you I promise." His eyes widened with hope and I frowned at him, debating what I would do and how I would justify it.

"You touching me isn't really my primary concern, me wanting you to is. If I didn't want you to I could easily control your actions it's the fact that I don't want to that scares me. So seriously it's me, not you." I started towards the door but then I paused, "Edward?"

"How can you kiss me the way you just did and claim to be in love with Bella? Right now at this very second do you feel like you are in love with her?" I knew I shouldn't have asked but I had to know.

"Right now my only thought is you and how your lips taste and how I want more." He stepped closer knowing that his words had affected me, "and let me not forget the scent of your sex that has now drenched your panties, the scent is dancing around my nostrils taunting me." His tone had lowered and his hand reached out and pulled me to him once more. His cool breath teased at my neck as he deliberated his next move. I couldn't . . . I shouldn't let him get to me this way I pushed him with minimal force full well knowing it wasn't enough to budge him.

"I . . . I . . . was just asking a question, I didn't mean for you to seduce me." He stopped and seemed disappointed by my statement.

"I don't understand, I shouldn't want you this badly and until I saw you today I haven't been feeling this amount of lust for you. I mean their have been times when I have thought of you but not to the point where I feel I will explode if I don't have you. It doesn't make sense. I want you more than anything and I love you more than my own life, I don't understand what I'm even doing here?" He questioned himself and I just looked at him baffled and shrugged.

"Will you take me back Leah? Do you think you think you could ever forgive me for what I have done to us and take me back?" As soon as he asked the question his wifey and friends returned, Alice and Bella looked horrified as did Jasper. "Leah take me back I love you." He repeated obviously not caring about the other presences in the room.

"Edward you can't possibly mean that you love me remember?" Bella approached him and touched his shoulder his expression changed and became more trance like and if I didn't know then I knew now that Edward's mind was being fucked with. Part of me realized that if I had just thought with my head instead of my pussy I could have taken the opportunity to have Edward see logic and realize that he was being played but now that he was under Jasper's spell I could talk until I was blue in the face he wouldn't agree to what I had to say. He looked up at me with sad confused eyes.

"It's okay Cullen it's not you fault that you _FEEL_ this way, you can't help the way you _FEEL_." I said for everybody's benefit I wanted them to know that they weren't that clever and from this one incident it should show that all it would take is one opportunity where they are gone too long and for us to be in the same place at the same time. Carlisle came in with Esme at his side he greeted me with a warm smile and her face matched that of her other fake out kids.

"Oh Leah I almost forgot you were coming over I hope that I didn't keep you waiting too long." He said as he removed his wife's coat.

"No, I've just been hanging around what did you need me for?" I stole one more glance at Edward who was now experiencing extreme bewilderment hopefully it was enough for him to realize that something was not right.

"I'll show you I have the papers in my office." Carlisle escorted me upstairs once there he handed my some trivial papers nothing really needed to be done to them he handed me a pen and laughed a quiet yet smug laugh.

"Oh." I nodded he just wanted me here.

"The only way Edward is going to realize what is going on and believe it is if he is around you. Rosalie told me your little plan but I think that going after Alice and Bella is the wrong way to go. If you can get to Edward that would be key . . . if not him then Jasper," Carlisle whispered and moved closer to me, "like I said before I feel that you are supposed to part of this family and my young granddaughter will not be happy until you officially are her stepmom."

"I thought you said that you didn't like forcing anyone into anything?" I said as I pretended to work on the random papers.

"You're right I don't that's why I'm correcting the wrong that my wife and children have caused." He smiled riffling through his filing cabinet and pulling out more papers, "you better get comfortable you're going to be here a while."

* * *

3AM is the hour that leeches grab their spouses and go fuck. The house was filled with moans and groans and I was filled with gags. I couldn't believe I was still there most of the papers he had given me was trivial stuff it wasn't until midnight that he actually gave me anything that required any thought on my part. I sat on the couch in his office with his laptop flipping back and forth his files entering data when I heard the piano down the hall. I remembered the beat of the music that was played it was slow, sad, and romantic, it was my song. "What are you doing?" I stood by the door frame looked at the mentally tired vampire, his eyes caught my and they looked guilty and ashamed.

"I couldn't be with her knowing that you were here. She kept pushing for it . . . I think because she knew you were here. She wanted to send you a message that I just couldn't deliver." He continued to play.

"I'm sorry you are being torn apart Edo," I said rubbing his back, "hopefully clarity will come to you soon." He sighed and grabbed my hand and kissed my knuckles. "Everything is easier with you none of this makes sense. I . . . I love you." He frowned as he said it because I figured it was because he couldn't fully feel the emotion he claimed to have.

"You're right you do." I laughed and nudged him. "You do."

"And you love me?" I nodded because I wouldn't say it again until this is over. He sighed again and silenced his hands. "The question is what's going on with me?" I ran my hand along his spine revealing nothing to him because I didn't want to stick my foot in my mouth.

"I'll leave you to ponder that question . . . I have to get back to work so that I can be outta here by daylight I like some of you leeches but the smell is making me a little queasy." I laughed and left his piano bench.

"You could bring you work in here?" He looked up at me all wide eyed.

"I probably shouldn't . . . I'll be right back." I spent the rest of the night working while Edward played. We'd each take turns stealing glances at each other but never speaking. I felt like I was in little girl in middle school who had my first crush. As much as I wanted not to look at him, I couldn't fight the temptation. Each time our eyes would meet we'd both laugh. This was incredibly stupid.

"You're right it is a little elementary." He whispered, "But I'm afraid I can't help myself either."

"I can save us both from this insanity. I'm finished I'm going home."

"You should wake until daybreak."

"Why?"

"Leah . . . I," He stood up and took my hands.

"I know you don't want me to go . . . but that's exactly why I have to. You have to make a clear decision in what _you_ want. If I go you have the logically think do you want to be here with your wife or do you want to in Seattle with me." I pulled my hands away. "See you at work."

* * *

Night was almost over and the sky, although cloudy and drizzling rain, the sky seemed a little calmer and almost beautiful in a way. However peaceful it was outside I knew that my apartment would be cold and abandoned inside because that's how it always felt. I sighed and opened the door and smelled the faint scent of rosy stink.

"Hello?" I sat my stuff down by the door and entered slowly. Someone came up behind me and grabbed me around the throat. Their hands were like ice and as much as I tried to squirm they tightened their grip. I reached my hands up and grabbed their head and threw the intruder over my head and to the ground. I got on top the intruder and began to punch the shit outta of their ass.

"Leah! Leah! Please stop!" The voice was familiar I took a moment to look at the stupid ass leech that stepped into my territory.

"Jasper?" I cut on the light and looked at his half cracked face. He looked at me at first his look was that of an enraged man, then his eyes cowered and his disposition mellowed.

"I can't do this anymore . . . I can't do what she wants I have a confession to make."

* * *

_Well that's the end of this one I hoped you liked it. I think revenge will be sweeter with the guys__ in on it don't you think? As always please read and review. _


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter 21

"A confession?" I stood up and adjusted my clothing . . . I couldn't believe that Jasper was going to hand me the information I wanted on a silver platter. I hoped however he didn't think that him, telling me the truth would save his life because I still planned to kill him or fuck him up so horribly that his dear sweet Alice would even recognize him. "Well don't let me stop you confess away." I sat back and waited for him to start telling the tale that I already knew.

"First of let me say I hate you Leah. Well I hated you . . . I thought that you not only ruined Edward's marriage but you ruined mine . . ." He paused and sent me a straight glare of hate and rage. "Alice used to be different . . . sweet, kind, she never would never joyfully hurt someone. Then Bella's marriage fell apart and she blamed you for the whole thing she became obsessed with getting Bella back with my brother. She promised me that she wouldn't get me involved but then the little favors started. She would ask me how Edward felt about Bella and then how he felt about you. Then she would ask me to make him want Bella just a little bit . . . and I refused just once because I didn't want to be involved in Edward's shit and she became outraged so I compromised my brother's mind and happiness to keep my own marriage intact. I did however tell her the truth, that I knew that Edward's love for you is real. She was always looking for a loop hole or a justification anything to fuel her new obsession, she'd ask how strong is it, his love for you, and I say I couldn't define it, then she ask me to judge on a scale of one to ten . . . you can see where I'm going with this she cared more about Bella's situation than her own she doesn't even realize that she's putting her own marriage in jeopardy and that in her own way she is using me just as Maria did years ago. My wife's actions are starting to disgust me almost to the point of me hating her . . . but maybe she feels the same way too, she did send me over here to try and kill you." I went to speak but he kept talking. "She told me that maybe I'd have a chance if I caught you off guard but we both know what your kind is capable of, Rozene showed us when we first met her. I guess I came over here to commit suicide because I knew I wouldn't be able to beat you and I couldn't live with Alice's obsession anymore." He got up from the floor and eased himself onto the couch beside me.

"I'm not going to kill you Jasper. I hate you so much I won't give you the satisfaction of copping out of your eternal damnation through my hands you married the psycho deal with it." I laughed darkly.

"I know that you know that I've been manipulating his mind. That should be enough ammo for you in itself. Do you know how hard it has been to keep Edward focused on Bella? I'm mentally drained I didn't know it was possible for me to have a headache until dealing with this for the past two almost three weeks." He covered his head with his hands.

"You poor baby," I said sarcastically, "I would offer you an aspirin but I'm sure it wouldn't work. What do you want from me Jasper . . . I'm not going to kill and I'm damn sure not going to feel sorry for you so your time here was pretty much wasted."

"No it wasn't. It gave me the quiet and mental clarity to come to some final conclusions on this mess that my wife and her best friend have made, starting tonight I will no longer be using my abilities on Edward. The guilt alone has been tearing me up inside. I wanted you to know first . . . also I'm sorry about your breaking up your engagement if I had known that the two you had made those steps to be together I would have never even agreed to manipulate his emotional activity." We sat for a moment in silence and then he turned to me confused. "Leah is something wrong with your heart?" He asked I could tell he was still focusing in on what he was hearing so I made a point to start talking and cut on the television.

"No I'm perfectly fine. You can leave . . . like now." I said rolling my eyes and heading toward the door to open it. He got up, cut my television back off, and stood his ground his focus on the noise he thought he heard.

"You're with child aren't you?" He eyes widen he seemed horrified. "If you are, you're baby is in grave danger my wife will not allow this baby to be born. Does anybody else know about it?" He actually seemed concerned so I was truthful.

"Rosalie, Taima, and Rebecca but that's it. I told them to respect my privacy and not tell anyone." I closed the door and stood in front of it.

"When are you due?" He asked which I guess was a normal question but since the baby was no normal baby I honestly didn't know.

"Bella was pregnant for about a month before Ness forced her way out of her I have known about the pregnancy for about two weeks so I guess I'm about half way there." I shrugged I was a little uncomfortable telling him this information for fear he would give it to the wrong person. "Oh and Jasper just so you know if word of this gets back to your wifey I will dismember the both of you and make the two of you live out the rest of eternity as nubs got it." He smirked slightly and nodded.

"You need to tell Carlisle." He said bluntly.

"Why?" He dared to give me a look that read as though he thought I was mad.

"Who else do you propose will deliver the child?" He did have a point; there were no human doctors that would that I knew of that would be jumping for joy at the chance to birth a hybrid vampire.

"I'm surprised that Carlisle hasn't picked up on it already I have been working constantly I would have thought he would have heard the heartbeat like you did." I said picking at my fingers. I tried not to touch the bump on my stomach but Jasper did approach me and reached his hand out hesitantly. I watched his expression carefully he seemed . . . remorseful, which concerned me. Was he remorseful for ripping what could have been our happy family apart or was he remorseful because he had to run back to Alice and like a little bitch deliver all of this information.

"The sound is very faint I almost thought it was simply a flutter in your own heart. I almost thought you were ill . . . disregarding your new abilities. Now as for Carlisle with all of the sounds that come with being in the hospital he probably didn't sense it, Edward as a norm is really in tune to your body but with my influence over him all he could focus on is Bella and obtaining her love," He sighed, "but that all stops tonight."

"Wait! I'm glad that you're taking your Emo wave off Edward . . . but I don't want him told about me, I'll do that in my own time!" He nodded in understanding.

"I will respect your wishes but you better say something soon because as the baby grows its heart grows stronger it will be easier to detect plus it will start moving and as carefully as Edward watches you he will be able to detect it. I think it's weird that you barely show . . . do you eat enough?" I laughed like he had told the funniest joke in the world, he was lucky I hadn't raided the fridge while he was here I was pretty much starved now and when he left I planned to throw down on some left over chicken.

"Yeah I eat . . .," I sighed.

"He will tell as soon as he sees you with fresh eyes, Edward _knows_ your body." He said driving home the fact that I had tell him soon and by soon he meant tomorrow.

"I was just with him today and he didn't." I countered.

"He was still confused by the mixture of feelings he was feeling. When I left I took the shield off and he probably was more focused on the fact that he had feelings for you again not that you stomach has a little bump." He smirked. Jasper got up and walked toward the door finally deciding it was time for him to leave. I headed toward the kitchen as he made his exit but then it dawned on me.

"Jasper," he turned and looked at me, "don't tell your wife that you plan stop doing what you doing and don't tell Edward anything. I will tell Edward that too and I'll make sure he knows that you're not to blame. I just think it will be so much fun if this catches Alice and Bella off guard." I smirked devilishly.

"As you wish . . . but don't play with this too much Edward is a nut about honesty he will think that you lied just as the rest of us did. You're playing with fire." With that he left and I plopped down on the couch the house was again empty and cold, I looked down at my stomach.

"You may be able to live with your father after all, now all I have to do is get over the fact that been fucking his wife and remember that he really doesn't want her." The thought them on that couch went through my head again and again I threw up. After hurling and revisiting my breakfast and lunch I held my stomach. If I was truly half way through my pregnancy I should look like a human that was about four months in, I looked no where near the size I should be.

"Why aren't you growing little one? I eat enough to feed an army . . . I'm pretty sure that Carlisle can't do an ultrasound. I just have to trust you're alright." I kicked my feet up on the couch and cut the television back on. Just as I did a commercial for blood donations came on and I felt like an idiot. "You're half vampire . . . and I'm half idiot but don't worry that part is not hereditary." I got up and called Rose I was going to need her help.

* * *

"So tonight I take you hunting?" Rosalie stood in front of my admission cubicle. She was actually excited that I wanted to come. When Bella was pregnant they brought her blood because she was so weak. I wanted to know how to hunt so if necessary I would be able to show my child. The thought still lingered in my mind that Edward wouldn't come back to me, maybe he had comfortable where he was and decided that a life with me wasn't worth the conflict.

"Yep gotta feed my nugget." I tapped my stomach and her eyes widened I took her hand and put it on my belly, I knew it was hard for her but she seemed appreciative of my action. She snatched her hand away quickly we both had smelled it both Edward and his shadow aka his wife were coming this way.

"Hey Rosalie!" Bella greeted her cheerfully still wanting Rosalie to become social with her again, Rosalie greeted her with a big albeit fake smile.

"Bella I'm surprised to see you here," she said in a sarcastic tone, "what were you afraid Edward wouldn't be able to find his way to work?"

"Actually I'm going to be volunteering in the flower shop for a little while just so that Edward and I can be close. Now that we've reconnected I just can't seem to get enough of him." She squeezed him tighter and he laughed a little but seemed uncomfortable which meant that Jasper must be holding up his side of the deal. He looked up at me and then his stare quickly shifted down to the floor.

"So being at home with him isn't enough, you have to stalk him at work too?" I smirked slightly her actions were a little desperate but every thing Bella did was so this was no real surprise.

"Are you in admissions today too?" I asked Edward he quickly refocused his stare to meet mine while Bella examined our every action.

"Yeah I'm at 22. Where are you?" I sat down at cubicle 20 answering his question without talking. He looked as if he wanted to say something and then decided against it.

"I don't know why they have the both of us down here," I said logging onto the computer, "we'll be bored for the most of the day . . . there's not enough work for the both of us." I said making small talk.

"I could see if I could move somewhere else if it would be more comfortable for you?" He sounded cold so much so that I had to look up and make sure I was reading his tone correctly. He seemed solemn to the point of being sad.

"I didn't say that . . . I was just saying that its weird that they scheduled us both here." I murmured looking back the screen and logged into the software I needed to perform my job. I looked around the lobby only two people were sitting on the couch and the patient had already been signed in, the day was already off to a boring start.

"Well I'm going to go. I'll see you tonight?" Rosalie said as if it was a question.

"Yeah I'll meet you at your house." She smiled and then passed Bella issuing her an evil glare, "You should leave them to work." Bella just rolled her eyes.

"I'll see you at lunch," she pushed herself on him forcing her tongue down his throat when she finally came up for air she wiped his bottom lip gently, "I'll be thinking about you while I'm gone." She blew him a kiss and then I upchucked in the nearest trash can.

"Are you ill?" He asked as he wiped his mouth with purpose.

"Must've been something I ate . . . or saw" he went to touch my shoulder when Bethany came in she was sniffling and trying to hold back tears. She sat at cubicle 21 separating us she sat upright trying to be proper and professional while holding back her sobs. "Are you alright?" I asked she looked as if she was on the verge of snapping, as soon as I allowed the words to come out she started sobbing so violently her whole body shook.

"He . . . he . . . broke up with me." She finally got the words out and started to wail again. "I don't know what I did wrong." I groaned slightly I hated when women did this, mainly because I found myself doing it with Sam.

"It's not you it's him," I turned and looked at her, Bethany wasn't necessary my best friend or anything I rarely talked to her for that matter, something about the twang of her voice pinched a nerve, but she seemed sweet enough for the most part always trying make the patients smile and brighten what is normally thought of as a horrible experience, "don't give him any power by giving him your tears. Think of it as if he did you a favor imagine if you had married the bastard only for him to leave stranded with a whole bunch of empty memories that didn't mean anything to him." I sighed and realized that my last statement was more about me. That's how I had tried to think about Edward, that he saved me from trusting him and loving him so deeply only to have him decided he was bored and go back to Bella.

"You're so right his lost," she said trying to collect herself, "I am a good decent woman he would have been lucky to have me." She smiled at me with her sad eyes, I could tell she wasn't over it I really wouldn't expect her to be. However when I was heartbroken everyone seemed to think I could get over it in 24 hours the grieving process has seven stages and can last over a year and they just expected me to wake up the next morning and be better. I sighed and shoved my stuff around I was still pissed with everyone about that, why did they think I was being bitter anyway did they seriously think it was about them that I want to cause them pain intentionally? Did they really think that I deserved the pain that I had endured and that I should have to mask it? Yeah it was better for me to separate from these people because I simply cannot follow their logic. I looked back at the girl who had collected herself enough not to cry but her face still held the telltale signed of her heartbreak.

"You should go fix your face and get ready for the day to start don't you think?" I said in an extra nice voice, Edward always said that my "extra nice" voice sounded fake, and maybe it was a little bit, I mean I'd be lying if having this conversation after everything that happened to me was easy but I didn't want to sit beside a devastated crying Bethany. She pulled out her compact and took one look at herself and ran to the bathroom. Edward glanced across the way and frowned at me.

"What? I know you want to say something so just spit it out." I said turning to him and his eyes widened momentarily as if he had to adjust to something.

"Nobody expected you to heal quickly Leah they just wished that you wouldn't have snapped and become so hateful." He said quietly. "But I agree they were harder on you than they should've been."

"I don't want to talk about the past. It's not important nothing from the past is." A few patients had come into the waiting room and we were both handed a couple of files after we had finished with the patients, I realized that Bethany still wasn't back yet. "She shouldn't have come in today." Edward nodded.

"You took a whole week off to get away from me." He said bluntly.

"I wasn't avoiding you, I was healing myself from your stupidity and I really don't want to talk about this so this is when you're supposed to shut the hell up." I growled slightly and he backed off.

"Fine let's talk about yesterday . . ." He said pulling my chair toward him and forcing me to look at him.

"What about it?"

"We kissed Leah. I made a promise to myself that I wasn't going to cheat on anyone anymore I want to be a faithful man but I can't seem to get it right. Yesterday I wanted you so badly . . . much like the way I want you right now." I sighed uncomfortably and pushed my seat back.

"We should not be talking about this now." I said trying to be professional.

"Why should we be professional, there is nobody here at the moment and I seriously need answers. I thought I was falling back in love with Bella but obviously I was wrong. All the intense feelings I had felt seemed to vanish with the sunrise." I arched my eyebrow and staring at him deciding what to say next. I knew that he was telling the truth but something in me couldn't get over seeing the betrayal something about seeing it made it stick to me and made the hurt so much worse. "Leah yesterday was . . ."

"The past Edward and it's not important." I whispered as the interns walked past us.

"It was to me it made realize how much I still love you Leah . . . I do . . . and it is important. You liked yesterday as much as I did and under different circumstances we would have ended up making love. All morning that was all I could think about making love to you, being close to you, and making you my wife." My heart went straight to mush as looked in his eyes. He went to touch my face but I grabbed his hand before he could finish the task.

"We aren't together anymore . . . we aren't engaged." I sighed.

"I wish we were." We heard Bethany as she came back to her seat she began gathering her things.

"I'm going to head home I let my supervisor know I just know I can't give service this way but I am feeling a little better thanks to you." She hugged me tightly. "Thanks for helping me."

"No problem feel better eat lots of chocolate it gives of endorphins, it makes you happy." She smiled and nodded and headed out the door. I wished she had stayed for my own selfish reasons. I looked over to Edward who smirked at me.

"Now you are stuck with me." He laughed he moved over to her seat and logged into her computer. "Your view on the past is flawed . . . the past is what makes us who we are the people we've known the things we've experienced." I rolled my eyes at him of course he was right and of course I knew that but I don't think he was understanding where I was coming from.

"I here what you're saying Cullen I know that people have to suffer hurt to learn and grow. I get that but after they receive the lesson from particular incidents in life it becomes the past and you have to let go or else everyone would be crazy or suicidal." I sighed and he looked at me concerned.

"Were you ever suicidal?" He focused in on my face.

"Hell no, there were times when I felt like I was dying but I never wanted to kill myself." I looked at him as if he had lost his mind. "I know you almost did over Bella."

"How was I to know that years later I would fall out of love with Bella at the time she was my reason for living. Now my focus has changed."

"For the moment," I went to file my papers away and he followed me.

"Forever . . . Leah I love you. I love you! I'm sorry that I hurt you I would do anything to take you pain away." I laughed and shook my head.

"If you are so sorry then why did you come into this hospital with Bella latched onto you like some damned leech!" One of the nurses walked past she had obviously been listened her eyes glued to us. He took my hand and led me away from our assigned area.

"Claire can you do me a favor?" She nodded at him with wide goo goo eyes. "Can you watch admissions? We need to have a word."

"Sure no problem it's dead in here anyway." He pulled me down the hallway toward Carlisle's office.

"Stop it!" I pulled away from him and started back to my desk.

"Leah please trust me this one time," I paused, "I promise you won't regret it." He extended his hand for mine and I gave it to him.

Instead of going into Carlisle office like I had thought we head toward the flower shop. Bella was assisting a customer when we entered and Edward had not let go of my hand, this was the first thing that Bella had noticed. "What's wrong?" She said immediately trying to create a gap between Edward and me; he in return tightened the grip on my hand and moved her to his other side.

"Bella, Leah I am sorry that I have been playing with your emotion trust me it is not my intent to play games with anyone's heart. I know that I'm not in love with you Bella and it would be wrong of me to play with your affections. I am in love with Leah and right now I know she may not want to take me back, matter of fact she may hate me and compare the way I hurt her to the pain Sam caused, but the difference between him and me is that I realize what a horrible mistake I've made and will tell anyone who will listen. Leah I love you and for me to be with anyone else is a sin so if you won't have me, then I will have no one." He kissed my hand that he had been holding so tightly the released it.

"That was just . . . wow!" And older lady stood with her bouquet in hand and tears in her eyes. "I'd take him back."

"Edward you don't know what you are saying." Bella seemed panicked and her eyes darted back and forth. "Listen you love me and we are about to get remarried you just have cold feet is all." She went to hug him and he rejected her.

"I have cold everything." He whispered. "I don't want to marry you. I'm sorry to sound so harsh but I want to be clear. Whatever warped feeling I had for you I don't feel that way anymore." He walked away from her, she grabbed for his arm again, and again he rejected her. He stopped by the flower shop door. "Are you coming?" He extended his hand to me I hesitantly walked toward him but rejected his hand. As we walked down the hallway back to admissions assessed what had just happened.

"You didn't have to do that." I stopped him before we made went back into the lobby.

"What?" He seemed seriously confused.

"You didn't have to break up with Bella for me?" He rolled his eyes dramatically, looked both ways, and the pushed me into vacant handicap bathroom.

"I didn't do it for you. I love you and I thought this would make it clear to both of you what I want. I know that something has been going on. I've been around for a while and believe it or not I'm not a stupid leech like you may think. I don't know the details . . . I think _you_ do."

"I look don't put me into Bella's shit if she did something you need to talk to her." I sighed.

"I know you are still getting over actually seeing Bella and me that way. I wish there was something I could do to erase the memory from you mind so that it would be easier for you to take me back." His eyes were locked in on mind trying to force me into a trance. I looked away and crossed my arms in a defensive stance. "Hey," he placed both of his hands on either side of my face and the cool sensation was comforting, I know it's sappy but it felt like I was home, "I don't ever want to leave you or hurt you again. I can't make you any promises . . . but I can tell you I will try my damnest to make sure that we never apart again. If you can take me back?"

"God can we talk about this later," I grumbled and dropped down to the ceramic floor and covered my face with my hands, "all I wanted to do today was have a nice peaceful day at work and you are fucking it up!" He smirked and sat beside me.

"If you just answer the question we won't have to have this conversation again . . . unless?" He scooted closer to me and I leaned away. "You want another reason to see me again. Leah dear you ever need a reason you know that?"

"Please Cullen get off you own dick." I shook my head at his stupidity.

"I will if you promise to hop on?" He countered I couldn't help but smile. "I knew you'd like that one."

"Whatever," I was weakening I had to get out of here with Cullen before this hospital becomes very x-rated.

"I've never had made love in a hospital bathroom . . . I wonder which positions would work best?" He moved my hair to the side and maneuvered his lips within kissing range of my neck, the coolness of his breath cause a familiar twinge to hit my spine.

"That girl . . . um Claire, is probably looking for us." I stood up, he grabbed my waist and I quickly pulled away from him. "We should relieve her." I said between staggered breaths.

"We should relieve ourselves." He pulled his face to mine and then the door opened.

"Son, I need a word with Leah." Edward held me in place, which was easy for him because I was still enjoying his touch.

"Can it wait?" He grumbled slightly.

"I'm afraid not." Edward looked at me with regret in his eyes and then seemed puzzled by something.

"We are not finished."

"I didn't think we were." I arched my eyebrow seductively; he seemed intrigued by my response which was exactly what I wanted. After Edward left I was ready to take on yet another male leech.

"Okay, what's up Carlisle?" I said playfully. "What'd you want to talk about?" He never smiled his looked stayed kind of grim and quiet.

"I know Leah . . . about your baby."

* * *

_Author's Note: _

_Okay that's it I hope you liked it! I know that Leah's tone changed slightly in regard to Edward. It is based on being cautious over his feelings for Bella. Please read and review. _


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter 22

"Let's go to my office so we can talk about this more privately." He said opening the door but I didn't have anything else to say, I just sat on the toilet refusing to have this conversation.

"What's more private than a bathroom?" I crossed my legs.

"It doesn't look appropriate Leah!" He hissed slightly, I rolled my eyes and followed him back to his office. Once there I plopped down in the seat across from his desk, he sat there looking at me as if he expected something from him but I owed him nothing.

"Since you won't say anything . . .," he started, "I have to get my family out of here. More importantly Alice, Bella, and . . . my wife, you are planning on keeping it aren't you?" I looked at him as if he were stupid.

"Of course Carlisle!" I got up, I couldn't even look at him after what he had said.

"It was an honest question you haven't told anyone about the pregnancy maybe you were just going to have and abandon the baby." He said grimly.

"I would never do that!" I murmured.

"Why haven't you told Edward?" I felt like I was being interrogated. I turned to him, I was hurt and pissed.

"Why? Why should I tell Edward? Until today he was with someone else. This is my baby!" Tears shit! I wiped them away quickly. "Look, as much as I want to tell Edward I wasn't ready . . . I just haven't been ready to tell him anything! It's hard to look someone in the eye and give them that information when only minutes ago you saw his ex-wife attached to him like super glue!" Carlisle looked out the window and then back to me.

"Okay, okay calm down." He whispered. "There's something I want to try." He extended his hand and led me to couch in his office and then he locked the door.

"Look Carlisle I like you but . . ." He started laughing before I could finish my statement.

"Dear child, as enraged as I am at my wife I still love her more than the sunlight. I would never break our commitment to each other. That being said if I was single." He gave me one of his famous smiles and I just shook my head. He pulled out some of his equipment and I noticed some of the jelly goop they used for ultrasounds.

"May I try to see your baby?" I nodded and pulled my shirt up over my stomach and squirted on my hard belly's surface and then pulled some equipment over. I wasn't expecting to see anything but to both of our surprise there it was my little one moving his feet back and forth.

"My grandson . . . it is a boy, I hoped you wanted to know that." He looked at me apologetically I just shrugged it didn't matter to me. The fact we could tell the sex of the baby meant I was pretty far along it was still weird that I wasn't showing hopefully the intake of the blood will help the baby grow.

"How is his growth does he look the right size? How's his heartbeat?" He looked at me he listened first without equipment and then he put on his stethoscope to be sure.

"The heartbeat is very strong. Are you concerned for the baby's health?" He wiped my stomach off.

"I'm too small. I'm afraid that he's not growing." I pulled my shirt down.

"Some women don't gain much weight with pregnancy and you are a special case away and so is your baby. He may be umm . . . thirsty."

"Yeah Rose is supposed to show me how to handle that tonight." He looked at me through amused eyes.

"You're going to hunt with Rose good luck!" He laughed.

"What?" I laughed too but didn't know why.

"Nothing . . . you better get back out to admissions before people notice you're missing." He said returning to his desk.

"Hey Carlisle?"

"Yes Leah."

"Did Jasper tell you?" I said before I opened the door to exit.

"No . . . I'm a doctor you may be small but you're showing and I heard the heartbeat last week I waiting for you to tell me." He sounded a little disappointed. "When you didn't say anything I knew I was going to have to bring it up, not only for my own concern and curiosity but for my son's well being."

"Does Edward know?" I asked I was still hoping he was in the dark.

"He hasn't said anything but that really means nothing when dealing with him. I can see that you're showing he probably can too." He shrugged. I left his office feeling a little disappointed. Walking back to admissions, back to Edward my heart felt heavy and it made the trip longer. I tried to clear my mind and not think about our conversation. Fortunately by the time I made it back my cubicle, all the cubicles around Cullen had been taken by the female staff I sent him a playful smile and he just rolled his eyes and laughed a little. With so many minds in the area for him to shift through hopefully he wouldn't pay too much attention to mine.

* * *

I made it through the rest of my shift unscathed, I made my way to the spot that Rosalie agreed to meet instead of me coming to the house since Alice and Bella were camping out in the living room and I really didn't have time to be dealing with them. "Rose . . . Rose I'm here!" I whispered, I don't know why I whispered there was no crime for both of us being out here. I heard the shifting of leaves and assumed it would be her but it really, really wasn't.

"Hey." Edward said coming toward me in sweat suit which was an odd sight he was normally in some sort of polo or button down.

"What are you doing here?" I said in an accusatory tone.

"Rose had unexpected plans with Emmett, Esme wanted to spend some time with Ness, so I volunteered to come out here." He went to come closer to me but I backed away from him. "Why did you want to learn how to hunt anyway?" He walked past me the night was so still and quiet . . . too quiet. I started to drag my feet through the leaves so the rustling and cracking would distract him from other sounds he could possibly overhear.

"Stop that if there is any prey in the area you are scaring them away!" He whispered he was a little annoyed but he wasn't pissed he was still focused to hard.

"So what are you listening for again?" I said as if I didn't know.

"I'm not just listening for anything . . . but I'm trying to catch the scent of my prey and listening for any heartbeats or strange sounds in the area." I nodded.

"Oh . . .," he looked at me strangely, "you know I think I rather do this with Rose, no offense but I'd rather not see you this way." I started to walk back.

"What as a monster?" He said darkly, he had to know I wasn't scared of him.

"I was going to say all bloody but whatever works for you." I shrugged playfully but his mood stayed serious. He grabbed my shoulder to stop me. "Look Cullen if you are going to share your undying feelings for me again don't I don't wanna hear it okay. I need some time." I went to pull away but he tightened his grip.

"That's not what I was going to say at all. You are hiding something from me. I deserve to know." Now I was scared, not of him but of this conversation I searched my mind rapidly desperately for a away to avoid it.

"You're right you deserve to know . . .," I sighed dramatically, "Jasper has been manipulating your mind so that you would fall and stay in love with Bella . . . there now it's out in the open." I crossed my arms and looked down. He hissed under his breath.

"What that doesn't make any sense? I would have heard his thoughts and their attempts."

"No, not with Bella shielding everyone that knew and once they had you under his spell sorta speak you weren't really focusing on anybody's thoughts your only concern was Bella." I felt nauseas saying it out loud I almost grabbed my stomach but stopped myself. "Jasper also wanted me to make it clear to you that he didn't want to do what he did; he was simply trying to save his marriage. I mean it was a good intention but seriously flawed execution." Edward was deep in thought I could tell he was barely paying attention to my words anymore. "Look do you need a moment or something cause I can go?"

"When did you find out about his?"

"Yesterday." I said bluntly.

"And this is the first you are telling me of this we've been together pretty much all day!" He was all puffed up like he was going to get mad at me and that would've been a fatal mistake on his part.

"Look! I worked with you today so you're telling me it would have been the right thing to do as soon as I saw you to tell you hey you brother's been playing games with your emotions and Bella's been shielding him?"

"Yes."

"Bull shit. We were at work and you were with Bella I wasn't going to cause a scene isn't that against your vampire way of life, causing scenes?" I laughed.

"Yeah causing scenes by killing and sucking dry a whole bunch of humans not by punching my exes face in!" He growled, the visual that came to my mind made me happy seeing Bella decked by Edward and her body flying across the hospital, it really warmed my heart.

"You wouldn't hit a girl." I smirked.

"I killed Victoria." He countered.

"For Bella." I added. "You know just because he put a wave a lust in the air didn't mean that you had to shove your dick in her the first opportunity you got where's the self control Cullen!" I was a little disgusted.

"You don't seriously think I started the exchange do you? Come on Leah think about if it was planned out by both parties Bella most definitely didn't make it easy for me to resist temptation." I kicked the earth under my feet.

"Whatever, we should seriously think about heading back." Then I paused something wasn't right there was an odd sad vibe in the air. Then I smelled Carlisle and Esme and they were coming our way fast. As soon as I went to turn to Edward they were there.

"Tell them what you told me!" His quiet anger was a million times more unnerving than someone yelling at the top of their lungs. Esme was sobbing dry tears and looked as if her baby had just died.

"Bella took her. I helped but I didn't know that she was going to run. I just thought that she needed some time with her daughter. Then I heard Ness' screams as she forced her into the car. I'm so sorry!" I lunged at the stupid woman! How could she be so stupid? I nailed her into a tree and within and instant the tree top began to burn bright with red orange fire. My plan was to split her in half first, the in fourths, then eighths, then allow for the fire to make its way down the tree killing her painfully and slowly. Then I felt his hand on my shoulder and I looked at the regret her eyes. I released her and stepped back to calm myself.

"Where is she taking her?" Edward spit the word out he was hurt the woman that he had calm mother for over a century had betrayed him and betrayed his daughter.

"I . . . I . . . don't know. Alice may know but we couldn't find her. I just heard . . . little Renesmee screams and I felt so horrible." Esme cried again and Carlisle comforted her.

"There's no time for this we need to find Alice!" I snapped and headed out of the woods.

Edward drove with Bella gone he could hear Alice's thoughts clearly and we found Alice and Jasper at Bella's cabin packing her car preparing to leave. As soon as we approached them she tried to enter the car and Edward answered her attempt by ripping her driver's side door clear off.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?" She looked pathetic and for all the rage I had inside I figured the sight of Edward killing or at least seriously maiming his insane as fuck sister was worth stepping aside for. Carlisle and Esme had gotten out of the car and had them pretty much surrounded.

"This is all your fault!" She whined. "I mapped everything out for you. I practically gift wrapped your happily ever after and gave it to you and then you decide to sleep with this bitch! I being the great sister I am tried to cover for you and make everything all better but then you go and fall into her bed full of fleas again. I don't owe you any answers if anything you owe me an apology brother!" She pushed him and he in turn pushed her into her car denting it.

"I want to kill you! It's MY life Alice I'm the one the creates my fortune and I'M the one who chooses my paths . . . but none of that matters now all that matters is how I plan to murder your manipulating ass!"

"You don't want to do this Edward . . .," Jasper said cautiously, "because if you attempt that I have no choice but to issue you the same fate. All Alice wanted was for you to be happy!" He said trying to get his brother to see reason. "She doesn't see how much different and better Leah is for you." Alice looked at her husband as if he had slapped her clear in the face.

"How could you say _this_ is better for him?" She whimpered pathetically.

"None of this matters now! We can discuss who hates who later. Where's Bella taking Renesmee?" I asked Alice and she smirked.

"Bella's got Renesmee?" She issued me her best clueless look, it wasn't hard for after all she did have a brain full of hot air but this wasn't the time for her games, so I clocked her right in the face causing her perfectly sculptured nose to crack in two. She held her face and sobbed in pain the went to attack me her attempts were stopped by all of the men. She again issued her husband and hurt look. "Jasper how could you side with them?"

"I loved the old you, you were so beautiful, kind, and understanding to all things. You need to really take a step back and look at all the damage you caused trying to ensure your friend's happiness. You've damaged everything . . . you've damaged us now I have to hope that we can be repaired." She sobbed and reached for her husband who quickly denied her.

"I didn't know I was hurting you I just wanted everyone to be happy. Please don't treat me this way. Please understand!" He couldn't look into her eyes, he was hurt so badly even I felt sorry for him. He walked away from his wife turning his back on her Esme reached out and but her hand on her son's shoulder.

"Just tell us where she's taking her." He whispered.

"She . . . seriously didn't tell me, I put that on everything I love I know nothing for sure, but I do know that I have had visions of her and Renesmee cloaked in black robes." She looked up at everyone with shameful eyes, "I thought that I could manipulate the future by altering her mood but it didn't work. I keep seeing her approaching them and telling them about . . . Leah, I see Bella giving Aro her hand and revealing everything she knows. Her deal for this knowledge will be the safety of her and her daughter however the rest of Leah's family and love ones will be marked for death. I thought that I could change it but that's what I see." Everyone stood quietly like that were mourning the loss of my love ones more than I was. I was ready to fight there was no way in hell I was going to just submit to one of Alice's visions. The future is always changing and I doubt that even the Volturi and their army can handle the likes of me . . . and Taima. I pulled out my phone.

"Meet me at the Cullen's house."

* * *

If they wanted my family I was going to bring the strongest and hardest of them right to their doorstep. Jacob, Seth, Embry, Quil, and Taima arrived at the Cullen house at the same time as the rest of us. The story was repeated to all of them and Jacob of course wanted to Alice like the rest of us. Emmett and Rosalie were also in upset over the news and ready to do whatever was necessary to save Ness.

"Are the Volturi residing in Italy?" Carlisle asked. "Or have they already begun to move? They have a way of sensing these moments of moving towards them."

"They are still clueless as far as I know." Alice said, "I see us meeting at night in a heavily wooded area, rain and fire all around us and the night being shined on by a full moon. I see a war. I can't see any deaths or a victory all I see is that actual blood will be spilled." Taima sent Jacob a look of concern.

"Did you factor into you little psychic reading I was coming along? The Volturi will not win . . . if this is the war then I'm ready for it. Are you?" Alice looked at her confused. "Have you decided which side you are on?" She said bluntly and Alice stared helplessly at her husband. "I'm on his side for better or for worse."

"Okay so we will meet back here in an hour and then we will start tracking the Volturi!" Carlisle said and everyone dispersed to get ready but I was ready to leave now. I sat in the living room anxiously tapping my foot. Edward sat across from me but I offered him no attention my focus was on my poor sweet Ness being brainwashed to think with arrogance and stupidity that was the Volturi. How could Bella be so stupid to take one of the people I love most with her, the Volturi can not be relied on for anything they could obtain the information they desire and then kill both of them for sport she was the one playing with fire. I planned to make her my last kill . . . I tried being nice when I came back I tried to respect her marriage but she is now the one that is the rabid bitch and I will be more than happy to but her out of her misery. Edward looked up at me.

"Not if I kill her first."

"Not likely." I got up and made my way to the car.

* * *

Four cars were loaded with people all headed in different areas in search for the Volturi. I rode with Carlisle, Esme and Edward. I sighed as I listened to Esme's muffled sobs and she kept apologizing and giving us numerous excuses for her stupidity but there was no excuse she was just stupid. Edward sat beside me in the back seat looking at his hands I glanced at them to see exactly what he was looking and then looked out my window.

"When were going to tell me Leah?" He sighed as he whispered the words. "This may not be the best time Carlisle but I'm not sure how much time I have left." He shot his father a look.

"Tell you what?"

"About the baby, I've known since Rosalie has known and out of respect for you I let things play out the way you have wished. It's our baby not just yours I had a right to know." He finally looked at me with drained eyes.

"I would have told you . . . I just . . . this," I grabbed my belly showing the small bump, "should've been a thing to bring us together and bring us happiness. I found out I was pregnant right after seeing you fuck your ex-wife. You were trying to get back together with her and I had this new life growing inside of me that immediately going to be forced into a split home. I was still getting over a lot but I planned to tell you." I glanced at Esme who was staring at me with shock and a new fear in her eyes.

"I don't think you should fight Leah not with any form of combat. I don't want you to put our baby at risk." I growled slightly.

"Please, this baby is a million times safer inside of me than if it had already been born I don't plan to let the Volturi get close enough to touch me at all!"

"I'm just worried . . . I can hear his thoughts you know. I know how he loves your voice. How safe he feels. I just don't want to lose him before we get the chance to see him. Don't get me wrong I want Bella and anyone who is willing to fight for her killed but not at the risk of losing my son." He looked down at my stomach, "may I?" I nodded and he gently placed his hand on my belly. "Hello little one," the knot in my stomach moved letting us both know he was alive and thriving I wouldn't do anything to hurt him, but I had to help Ness. I had to save her.

* * *

_Author's Note:_

_Okay so here's another chapter! I really like this chapter and will try by best with the next one I'm not really good at action scenes, if you have any ideas please let me know! I really enjoyed writing this one so please, please no flames and as always please read and review. Thanks!_


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

We traveled until daybreak at that time the sunlight forced the Cullen's to find shelter at the nearest motel. They planned to hide out until night fell again and then we would reconvene our search. I didn't want to wait but now that Edward admitted that he knew about my pregnancy I knew he wouldn't let me go anywhere without him he wouldn't even let me out of his sight. Carlisle kindly rented a few rooms at a motel dive so that privacy could be had by all until the sun hid behind the clouds or nightfall, which ever happened first. I went to enter the room that was for me, but Edward was quick on my heels.

"What are you doing?" I said pushing him out. "Na- uh Cullen you have to go!" My vampire ex dug his heels in and made it hard for me to move him; hard but not impossible.

"I'm not leaving and you don't really want me to." He went past me and sat on the bed and I just looked at him and crossed my arms against my chest trying my best to show my distain. "Besides you're thinking of doing something stupid and the only way to make sure you use logic is to stay with you."

"If I went ahead of everyone it wouldn't be stupid . . . I would probably be able to track the Volturi and you can read my mind and meet me wherever I was, it would save us from this stupid down time." I huffed and sat on the bed beside him and he frowned. "What's wrong?"

"It's all of this and then on top of it . . . our son doesn't even know my voice, "Cullen looked at my belly and then at me as if I had betrayed him.

"That's not my fault Cullen even if I had told you about the baby when I first found out, while you were in you Bella induced trance there's a high probability that you wouldn't have wanted to be around me or my bump." We were both there silent. "I don't want to talk about this anymore." I whispered as I smoothed the fabric over my stomach . . . the sky that was confusingly bright started to darken. Maybe we could head out early.

"Carlisle wouldn't trust traveling based on your emotional predicament." He now stood by the window and studied the sky. "I'm still confused as to why the sky was so bright in the first place. After all of the rain we've seen for weeks on the day after my daughter's kidnapping the sky is sunny all of a sudden?"

"The mixture of Taima and my temperament cause odd things to happen in the whether. I don't know what she is feeling that caused the sun to shine . . . I know that I was probably the cause of all the rain." He nodded.

"Because of me . . . I'm sorry." I stood beside him.

"I forgive you so stop saying you're sorry. I just can't forget Edward, I can't get rid of what I've seen no matter how hard I try . . . but we shouldn't be talking about this we should be talking about what we are going to do to save our daughter . . . I mean . . . you know what I mean."

"You're right she is our daughter," he tried to grab my hand and I pulled it away, "and when we get her back we should give her the life that she wants the family she wants. I love you . . . and I want to do it right I want to marry you and be there for both of our children." I looked at the intensity in his eyes but I couldn't give him what he wanted not yet.

"You can still be there for both of your children and not be married to me." I countered I walked past him and the baby kicked.

"Do you want to know what he thinks?" Edward smirked, "The baby is mad that I'm upsetting you. He can sense that you get tense when I speak . . . can I talk to the baby?" He said kneeling in front of my stomach.

"No," I smirked playfully, why he would ask me if he knew he was going to do it anyway.

"Little one I'm your daddy I don't want you to think of me as a stranger I love you more than anything and I can't wait to see you . . . and I love you mommy and won't let anything bad happen to her. I plan to save her from anything or anyone that tries to hurt her even herself." I arched my eyebrow at his statement I didn't plan to hurt myself, just because I wasn't falling over myself to get back with him didn't mean I was hurting myself, I thought it was the first rational thing I did in a long time.

"Just because an action is rational doesn't mean it's not hurting you. It's eating away at you being away from me. Just like it's killing me to be without you." He brushed his finger against my cheek.

"Yeah it was really killing you to while you were with Bella and for like the one day that you were allowed to feel your real emotions. I been hurting for weeks don't compare the two feelings Cullen! You need to respect me right now when I say I'm not ready!" I went to the door to ask him to leave.

"I'm not leaving!"

"Well then shut up!" I said plopping down on the bed. "Be like the paint on the wall, drab and silent!" I sat there stewing. I couldn't believe that he was trying to win me back when all of my thoughts should be on Ness and so should his.

Then it happened a kick, a strong kick against my rib cage that left me breathless. The little one didn't break anything but I was left winded none the less. Edward of course panicked and flew over to me. He went to touch me and then decided against it.

"This is why you should not come with us. What happens if the baby kicks while we are dealing with the Volturi and you are disoriented for just one second? You could die." He whispered.

"I will be fine!" I growled and my hands started to shake. I was shocked since I was sure that because I was pregnant I shouldn't be able to phase but it looked like that wasn't the case.

My dad did say the beast would always be with me when I needed it maybe I was going to need her now . . . Not right now but during the fight. I sighed and calmed down. "Don't stress a pregnant person! I'm not above punching you in the face right now I swear to God." I huffed.

"Fine then I'll be honest . . . if you go in this condition it will be very distracting for me. I feel like I have to protect you even if you say you can handle yourself I will feel obligated to you and therefore heavily  
disoriented." He said kneeling front of me looking me in the eyes.

"Maybe you should sit this one out then? I promise to bring Ness home safe." I touched his shoulder to show Edward I was serious I didn't want anything to happen to him. I didn't want him hurt or worse.

"Leah!"

"Edward!" I mocked him and stood up.

"I'm not going to be able to make you see reason am I?" He sounded defeated.

"Nope . . . I understand where you are coming from but I'm not going to agree to it. So you might as well move on." I smirked a little and went to move past him and he grabbed my arm.

"This may be our last opportunity to be this close." He held me in his arms. "Say it Leah just one more time even if you don't mean it." After I got over being grabbed so abruptly I sighed and held him closer.

"I love you." I murmured into his shoulder. I may not like him all that much  
right at the moment but I did love him with all I had.

* * *

4:00 PM Carlisle assembled all of us in outside. The sky had gotten dark enough that our travel would go unnoticed. He also decided that we would continue from here on foot.

"Well it's not really my decision . . . Alice said that we're close to where she thinks the altercation will take place and I can smell them." Carlisle actually frowned. I knew this had to be hard for him considering how much he hated violence. If anyone were to be harmed it would destroy the overly humane doctor parasite.

We all followed Alice which I normally would've been hesitant about but I knew she had been thrown for a loop. By the way she was now clinging to Jasper she was more concerned about her marriage then keeping any allegiance to Bella. Still in the back of my mind I knew I'd have to watch out for her.

Once we reached the forest and were out of the line of sight from the road, we all started to run at our full speed. I was handling the terrain easily until I felt another bump against my rib cage that  
caused me to double over. The baby was feeling my stress and I assumed he was panicking.

"It's okay little baby. You have to behave so we can save Ness okay? So please stop kicking mommy." I whispered and held my stomach.

I went to stand up once my discomfort subsided and then the little stinker kicked me again and fell back on my butt. I guess he was hard headed just like I was. I closed my eyes and willed the sensation to go away. When I opened them back up I saw Alice's golden eyes staring back at me.

"This is where it happens" she yelled loudly to get the attention of the others. "This is how I keep finding you in my mind and then everything goes dark." She said looking around. Everyone was surrounding me. Edward shoved his sister to the side.

"What's wrong where does it hurt?" He moved my hands and replaced them with his own. "What's going on little guy?" He paused as if he was waiting for an answer from our unborn baby.

"Little guy? She's? . . . Oh my God how did I miss that!" Anger took over Alice's petite face as she came racing towards me viciously readying herself to attack. Jasper jerked her back by her arm to stop her from making contact with my body.

"Alice! The Alice I married would not harm an innocent life . . . She would do anything in her power to protect it." He said calmly trying to make her see the rational side of this situation.

"I know you want to be here for Ness sis but you shouldn't be . You're putting you baby at risk." Seth said even though he was the only one who made movement to get me to my feet.

"Thanks and you should be in wolf form if this if where the showdown is going to happen." Then it was like they all paused. They seemed frozen and for a second I wondered if I or the baby inside of me had caused it happen. "Seth? Seth!"

"Leah! They can't see or hear!" Taima ran to me and removed me from Seth as we prepared ourselves to fight. It had never occured to me that the Volturi Guard my have powers so strong it could render the Cullen's almost completely useless. Even the pack seemed lost in whatever spell had been cast over them. I had been to focused on my plans to kill Bella and save Renesmee that I hadn't considered this particular scenario.

"The Volturi's evil attempts will not work on us, they never did in the past and I never fully understood why." She whispered low enough to make sure anyone who may be near wouldn't hear our conversation. "But they are coming and we need to find the one that is rendering the Cullen's useless right now."

She let go of me and the baby kicked again. I refused to let the pain cause me to double  
over. Then another sensation tripped my circuits. I had to fight to keep my composure. Silently I begged my child to cease it's movements. I needed to keep my attentions on the battle ahead. I could not let the pain distract me for the task at hand.

"Don't move," I mouthed at Taima and she copied me by pretending to be blind and  
deaf like the rest of our clan.

I felt as the Volturi leisurely walked through us thinking us all an easy kill whispering amongst themselves. My body tensed for the fast approaching battle. I could feel my instincts as a wolf trying to take over. The closer the leeches got the more I wanted to start tearing them apart piece by piece. My inner wolf whined and paced wanting to leap into action right this second.

"His concern for her is almost unbearable." The older male said as he examined Edward.

He must have a power similar to Jasper if he could feel or see what Edward's emotions were. I wondered what exactly his power to be but then realized it didn't matter. He would be dead soon enough.

"I can't wait to put him out of his misery." He touched my leeches face in what would normally be considered a sympathetic gesture but the sight just disgusted me. He didn't give two shits about anything Edward felt.

"Don't get so close and don't underestimate them!" The blonde male said to his counterpart. "Let's just kill them quickly and get this over with." He said as he circled Esme.

Despite the way she had treated me I felt rage in my blood as he neared the motherly leech. We may not see eye to eye when it came to certain things or people but in the end I am sure she never meant for things to spiral out of control. Also Carlisle loved her very much and from what I had seen the doctor was a pretty good judge of character...Most of the time.

"This is the first time we see their human forms." Jane said bluntly as she stopped to stand in front of Jacob. "I must say I prefer them better as dogs." She laughed while she moved from him to my brother. The urge to lunge at her had become almost overwhelming. Nobody touched my brother. "They smell repulsive. We should get rid of them quickly. We wouldn't want their stink to stick." She said between gagging noises and evil childlike laughter.

"I agree with you sister. Which one should we destroy first?" the boy said as he studied Embry and then Quil.

"Both very fine choices." Aro chimed in while he held Bella by the hand as if she  
were some prized possession. My eyes stayed locked on her and I was surprised I had enough control to not just set her on fire with a glare. I wanted her death to hurt...A lot.

"But we made a promise that we'd destroy the female wolf first." He placed her in front of me. Yes, that's right put her in the perfect position. Really they were making this almost too easy for me. "Dear child would you like the first attempt at taking her life? If you are right and she isn't what they claim she is you could have the pleasure of ending her life. All it would take is one little bite."

She stepped closer to me. So close that her lips were almost touching mine. To bad for her I didn't swing that way. Ha! Even in the midst of a potentially life ending battle I couldn't hold back my sarcastic sense of humor. Ah well if you can't laugh in the face of death what is the point?

"You stupid bitch!" She spoke at a low level yet spoke the words so viciously that killing her  
would be all the more sweet. Threatening me was one thing in fact it is something I am quite used to by this point in my life. Yet threatening those I loved was a huge no no. "He thinks you are so special but all you really do is stink! If you were so special you wouldn't be getting ready to die right now." She raised her hand in the air to smack me in the face and I caught it while looking her in the eyes. Surprise!

"If you weren't so stupid you would've realized that you are pretty much fucked!" I punched her in the face and watched half of jaw to crumble. As soon as they were aware of the fact their powers were ineffective on me. Jane began to torture the Cullen's and the member's of my pack. I could she was panicking and wanted to do as much damage as possible in the shortest amount of time. I turned and saw that my Ness was being held captive by Felix. He would die for laying his hands on her. Then Bella would die for allowing such a thing to happen.

As a soon to be mother I don't think I would ever be able to understand how she could do such a thing. To have such blatant disregard for her child's life? Whether she hated me or not to risk her daughters life showed what a heartless bitch she really is. A part of me hoped that Edward now saw her as I have from the very beginning. My theories about her won't seem so stupid now would they?

"Leah!" I heard Ness and her shrieking cries for help. My heart melted and apparently so did the trees. In my anger I had caused all the trees residing in the area to catch a flame and one bolt of lighting to strike through Jane's body splitting it in half. Her brother left to tend to her and inadvertently lifted his spell on my family. Jacob and Seth phased quickly and made easy work of Jane's brother who had become  
so disoriented that he didn't even see his fate coming. His death had been quick and painless. He should feel lucky. Not all of them would have such a simple death. I would make damn sure of that.

Jasper being the most tactful fighter went after Renata but was of course unsuccessful since he focused more on making sure everyone to be alright. It was just like the newborn battle. He thought he needed to pick up the slack anyone may have. Still his attempts worked as an affective distraction for my counterpart Taima to rip her head clear off and smash it to pieces. Another one bites the dust.

Emmett went after Felix for obvious reasons. His attack made sense since he was the biggest in their coven. If anyone could take the biggest Guard member down it would be Emmett. Rosalie was their helping him as much as she could while fighting her own battle against some nameless Volturi leech.

I went to go assist him in freeing Ness when Bella grabbed a handful of my hair in a effort to stop me. I turned around and snatched her up by her neck. Killing her seemed like an appealing idea but then I thought of Renesmee. Would she hate me for killing her mother? She may hate Bella now but what about in the future? Could Ness grow up to resent me and wish I hadn't destroyed her mom? The very thought caused me to hesitate for the briefest of moments.

"You've lost bitch give it up!" I said as I allowed my thumbs to crumble the flesh of her neck. A little pain wouldn't kill her and she's lucky that is all I did to her right now. If she lived she would have to thank her daughter. She continued to swing at me but none of her blows touched me except for one.

Demetri punched me in the back causing my equilibrium to go wacked and I almost fell face first but I braced myself with my hands to protect my stomach. I felt his boot meet my back as he tried to force me onto the ground. The pressure of holding myself up was uncomfortable and I was scared that he might actually have the ability to break my spine. What kind of affect that would have on my son?

My hands started to weaken and I saw Bella coming towards me while she readied herself to kick me in the gut and that's when Esme came out of nowhere and knocked her to the ground. Edward got Demetri off my back by swinging him into one of the trees that were set on fire.

Edward and I both attempted to make our way toward Felix and Caius interrupted our efforts. He grabbed Edward by the neck and then dropped him. I let my gaze flicker to his making sure he was alright. I may be upset with him but I loved him and he was the father of my child.

"You're with child?" Caius looked at me as if he got some sort of perverse  
pleasure out it. The only way I could figure he knew was maybe he had seen my bump.

"What a shame it will be if something were to happen to your baby." He revved his arm back and prepared to hit me but out of nowhere Edward came up from behind him and grabbed his upper body. His teeth sinking in the blonde blood suckers neck while I grabbed his lower half and we ripped him apart literally. Then we disposed of the body by tossing into one of the burning trees. Yet another kill to add to my count. Man I was good.

Aro and another one of his guard had taken Rosalie and forced her into a kneeling position preparing to take her head off. Edward came up behind the soldier and ripped one of his legs clear off and proceeded to beat him in the head with it repeatedly. Rose attempted to fight Aro but he was much too skilled for her. Carlisle and Esme came and assisted in surrounding him.

"Stop!" Aro yelled taking inventory of whom he had left and blanched when he saw he only had one. "Felix stop! Give them what they want release the hybrid!" Right after Aro yelled at Felix he took a cheap shot at Jacob, kicking him in the side shattering his ribs and then punching him in the skull rendering him unconscious. A growl tore through my lips.

"Jacob! Oh not Jacob!" Bella ran over to him and cried to the best of her ability over his unconscious body. Everyone looked at her as if she were a mental patient. The ground began to rumble and I damn near lost my balance again. Taima approached Felix who was now standing over Jacob and Bella laughing. He dropped Ness who fell face first but quickly scrambled to her feet and ran to me.

"Oh Leah!" She cried launching herself into my arms. "It was so horrible. Everything they did and said was so terrible!"

I smoothed her hair back all the while watching the exchange that was going to take place between Taima and Felix. Taima looked like a sprout in comparison to the magnitude that was Felix. He towered over her and didn't seem impressed by her expression or her proximity. He found her amusing and laughed out right before attempting to hit her. She in turn jumped to his shoulders and ripped his arms off followed by his head.

After making swift work of him she focused her sights on Bella. "Get. Away. From. Him!"

She glared at her and Bella cowered away like chump that I always knew she was. "Please, please don't hurt me! I'm sorry I just wanted . . ."

"Edward...We know dear but this was not the way to make him think fondly about you." Esme countered and Aro laughed.

He was being held down on his knees by Esme and Carlisle. "You all think this was about Edward? Foolish, foolish Esme." He shook his head with a wicked twisted smirk that made my stomach turn. "Bella is by far one of the most selfish self-serving vampires I've ever met in my entire existence. She was no longer concerned about Edward's love. She was through with that years ago.

She wanted revenge on Leah for taking her power and for taking her place with both men. Neither one of the men that she felt that she owned adored her the way they once did. Nor did they even want to be around her. She blamed Leah's presence for that and with each day she was around little Bella's heart grew darker.

The sick thing is that she didn't even really care that the bond between she and her daughter was suffering. All she cared about was her men. Tsk Tsk on you all for not seeing it." He shook his head and laughed with amusement. "Her brain was a good read indeed. If there is any one entity she did love it was the dog . . . Weird as it may seem."

"The dog . . .," Alice grabbed her hair in frustration, "after all that I've done for you, we've done for you, and you love the dog, not my brother." Bella looked up at her dumbfounded.

"Alice . . . I . . .I don't know how to explain." Bella couldn't look at her anymore she continued to stroke Jacob's fur and Alice's fury continued to grow.

"Well you can be with your stupid dog!" She tackled Bella to the ground and began to beat her down. It wasn't the normal vampire fight that was strategic where a quick death was foreseen. Alice wanted to hurt Bella because all the things she almost lost dealing with Bella's crazy ass. As much pleasure as I thought I would feel from watching Bella's death, I couldn't watch it. I covered my daughter's eyes and had to look away myself. I heard the screams and Alice ripped off her legs and arms, and then the match and she lighted her best friend on fire. Taima now carried a wolf version of Jacob in her arms and allowed a couple tears to fall issuing in her own rain. I felt bad for feeling happy to have my daughter in my arms when my alpha could be dying.

"Now dear friend," Carlisle said to Aro who was the last one of his coven, "is there any good left in you?" Aro looked at his old friend with disgust in his eyes.

"You dare ask me that question Carlisle, I am a good in our society, I bring the peace, the order. It could be argued that you are the one always alerting new ones to the ways of our kind, for example if your son had never had involved himself with the one that dies in under the flames we would have never had this war." Carlisle looked up at Edward.

"If you weren't so insistent that the girl be changed she would have had more time to choose her true mate and we may have never had to go through this . . . this is irrelevant. My question is do we let you live?" He questioned.

"You don't have the resolve to kill me Carlisle now stop this foolishness and let me up from the ground." He spoke as if it were an order. "Now Carlisle!" Carlisle thought about it and then looked at Edward, Edward the grabbed Aro's face.

"I'm sorry old friend this is the only way to ensure you will never bother my family again." With that Edward crushed Aro's head, Carlisle looked hurt to the point of tears, then he looked at me. "Leah, would you be so kind as to start a fire?" I summoned the fire to take over Aro's body. Then we all made are way over to Jacob.

"Is he?" Ness said touching her best friend in Taima's arms.

"No I can still feel his breathing even though it is labored." I touched Jacob as well I searched his body for the area that caused him the most hurt I touched his ribs and accelerated the progress of his healing within minutes I could tell the change in his breathing.

"There you go Jake you'll be alright." I touched his head and his eyes opened.

"Welcome back! I was wondering how I was going to explain this to your father." Taima smirked and he shook his head and tried to stand but couldn't. "It's okay you're a little heavy but I can carry you."

* * *

We all headed back to the motel to grab our vehicles and head home. We all walked in silence except for Embry and Quil who phased back so they could brag about their kill, everyone had phased back even Jacob and gathered enough strength to phase. Taima was allowing him to rest the predominance of his weight on her so that he wouldn't have to suffer.

"Dude I can't believe that we killed one of the head honchos!" Embry exclaimed.

"Yeah that old leech went down!" Quil high fived him and so did Emmett.

"Impressive work," Jasper also commented, "and you too my love." He held his wife as close to his body as possible and tried to change her mood but couldn't. I could understand why, today she had killed her best friend someone that meant the world to her, she was traumatized.

"You too babe you kicked ass!" Emmett said patting Rose on the butt she rolled her eyes at him and wrapped her arm around his waist. "So did you hon."

I stole a glance back at Edward and shook the notion of wanting him close. I had Ness and she already had me in a death grip. "I was so scared that I would never see you or my dad again. She just grabbed me and covered my mouth and forced me out of my home and into hell with those people." She started to cry again.

"Don't worry it's over now." I rubbed her back.

"Leah," she whispered, "is it sad that I still feel kind of feel bad that she died."

"Me too . . . it's because she was your mom and you wanted better for her it's natural but you'll be okay. You're dad will take good care of you." I tried to reassure her.

"And what about you?" She looked up at me with her big brown water eyes.

"I'll be here with you as long as you want me to." I said without even thinking. Loving Ness was easy she never betrayed me and was always honest it was like breathing to me, it turned day to night.

"Well be prepared to be in my life forever," she grabbed her dad's hand, "me and my dad's life." She smiled at both of us and I felt guilty for not feeling her enthusiasm.

As we rode home Ness sat in between Edward and me, she leaned on her father and he wrapped his arms around her. "I'm so glad we found you my little girl!" He kissed her forehead and my heart warmed.

"Me too dad." She closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep. I sat here with these two people I loved more than this Earth and I still felt like I was on the outside looking in.

* * *

_Author's Note: _

_A big **HUGE **thanks goes out to **Stephycats7785 **for her help with this chapter, without her the action scenes wouldn't have been nearly as awesome as well some of her other magical touches. _

_So I hoped everyone like this chapter I think it's pretty awesome I can honestly say that I'm about 95% sure that there are only two more chapters left to this story. Then it's done. Wow! As always please read a review and no flames. _


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

We all convened back at the Cullen's house, Edward took Ness up to his old room and placed the child in bed. She wasn't sleeping but she said she wanted to rest I stood by the door because she was the only one in the house I really felt tied to. I had decided that as soon as she was sleeping peacefully I would make my way home, to my apartment in Seattle. Of course I would come back in the morning but I needed to keep a head of logic about me. These people were not my family the only leech I was connected to by blood was still in my womb. Edward was the past and even though I loved him I didn't trust him. I watched him as he handled Ness so gently and wished the same for my child if I wanted that for him we'd have to stay close. He kissed Ness on the head and we both went to exit the area.

"Where are you going?" She asked and we looked at each other confused. "Leah you promised you'd stay with me. You won't leave will you?" I groaned and thought about lying to the kid.

"But if you're sleep I don't see the point of staying." The girl seemed disappointed by my statement so I sat on the bed and tried to reassure I'd be back. "I'm not going to far just home to rest. Oh god I forgot you don't know do you?"

"Know what that you are lair you promised that you'd stay with me!" She grumbled. "I just went through hell the least you could do is stay here with us!" I sighed and looked down.

"I was about to give you some good news if you'd stop grouching for a second!" I poked her and she looked up at me. I pulled my shirt close to my body so she could see my stomach. "There's a baby in there . . . your brother." The girl eyes widened but I couldn't really tell if she was sad or in shock. "Kid you okay?"

"Yeah . . . so you and my dad are having a baby! That's great! Can I ask a question?"

"Sure." I smiled at her thinking like an idiot that I had made her happy.

"If you two are having a baby why do you look so miserable around each other? I know about all the stuff my mom did . . . but my mom is dead. So even though the past may hurt it's time to move on. Don't you think?" She smirked at me and then touched my stomach. "It's not just about you . . . for now you can say that the two of you are making nice for the baby . . . and me. I want the two of you together because I know that's the only way you will both be happy." I laughed and she was offended but it wasn't my intention to be offensive. Sometimes Ness just overwhelmed me with her maturity and in this case it had trumped mine. Her logic was astounding . . . and I can't lie I had thought this way a couple of times but my feelings were still hurt. I was still in my "how could he do this to me" phase. I just couldn't see living with him yet.

"You still love my dad?" She asked and I looked to make sure that he had left. Not that it really mattered the vampires and there super hearing.

"Yeah but love isn't the only thing that matters in a relationship, I told you this before kid. Weren't you tired or something?" I forced the little girl to lie down and then tickled her stomach.

"I am! I am! I just don't want you to do anything stupid." She smirked at me.

"Wow it's creepy how much you're like your father!" I tickled her again.

"Stop! Stop!" She laughed so hard tears were coming down her face. "I'm serious Leah!"

"Aren't you always! You're a kid you know you have at least two more years before you look like an adult you should use them to your advantage." I laughed.

"With all the crazy stuff that happens to me it's hard to remember that so thanks." She sighed then frowned, "but I do use my youth sometimes I think that because I look younger people are more willing to give me what I want not only that they think I'm clueless when I'm not."

"I don't think you're clueless." I lay down beside the kid.

"I know." She smiled at me.

"You know what else I think?" She arched her eyebrow at me, "that you should go to sleep!" She laughed and closed her eyes.

"Promise that you'll stay until I fall asleep?" She whispered.

"No place I'd rather be."

* * *

I held Ness in my arms as she slept and held her hands in mine. All throughout her dreams was her desire for us to be a family. I didn't want to disappoint her but I didn't know how it would work if I were to cave at this point in time if I wouldn't be a good mother or a good . . . whatever I would be to Cullen. I slid out of the bed with her, I went past the group of chatting vampires, and made my way outside where the air was cleaner and my mind could be clearer. Then a rain drop hit me right on the forehead, then I felt the heat of my own tears streaming down my face. "I don't know what to do?" I whispered, "I freaking out down here!" I looked up to the sky.

_Be with the one you love you have enough common sense to know that you are acting out of fear_. Araina's voice echoed through my head. _Love him freely before you lose the opportunity_. _Death could still come for him_ _and the others you love this is not over_. A shrill of nervousness ran through my spine but I wasn't surprised something about tonight's victory seemed off. I mean I was happy that we had prevailed but it just seemed too easy.

"It's not that easy you know!" I quietly snapped at the voice that was seemingly in my head. Everyone thought that caving was easy and that trusting him should be like breathing.

"What's not easy?" Of course he would be lurking behind me.

"I don't know Cullen?" I sighed and then decided to talk it out with an actual living thing . . . sort of. "Trusting you with my happiness it's not easy. Not just because of the Bella thing just in general it's hard thing to do. I'm not sure if I can." I felt vulnerable and odd, not since I was with Sam did I let a man in as much as I did Edward, but with him I was different it was more stronger and deeper, his hurt and his betrayal grabbed part of the rawest part of my heart and pulled it out. Sam's quick cold decision hurt but it didn't rock my foundation nearly as much. I stood there barely looking at Edward I felt antsy and my stomach felt like it was twisted in knots. He looked back at me he shifted his weight unnecessarily then sighed, I guessed this situation was exhausting even for a super leech like him.

"Then you shouldn't." He said bluntly his look wasn't cold or heartbroken he addressed me as a friend. "You especially should be considering it because a five year old wants a happily ever after that you aren't ready to deliver." He smirked. The whole time he stood there silent he was raping my mind for its recent events. It baffles me that he still doesn't consider his gift an unfair advantage nobody else knows me to be as exposed and sensitive as Cullen.

"I love you. I know you love me. Nothing needs to be rushed . . . day by day I will earn your trust back," he stood behind me and wrapped his arms around our child, "and one day our family will just be together no forcing involved." I could feel his smile as he held us both.

"That's not good enough!" I turned so I could look at him. "I'm tired of just being content with what my life! I don't want to feel like I did earlier today like I wasn't really connected to you or your daughter. I hated it. I wanted and still want to be with you! It's just that everything is so fucked up!" He arched his eyebrow and then frowned as though he was deep in thought.

"I don't know how to help you. Your mind is so confused I can't figure out which one you want more." I hugged him and sighed. My mind continued to race searching for the clarity that may never come.

"Well how about I just list the things I know I want and don't want?" I muffled into his chest.

"Okay sounds like a plan. I will be your unmoving sound board." He laughed quietly as he continued to hold me.

"I want to be there for Ness at all times. I don't want to live in a different space as her. I want her to be happy and safe at all times. I want to know that you are safe." He laughed at this but he should know by now that he isn't indestructible. "I want to finish school. I want a career. I want to help people and heal people. I want my mom to be proud of me. I want her to love me as much as she loves my cousin. I want her to accept my child. I don't want to bring anymore shame to my family. I want to be a good mom. I want my son to know his father. I want my son to be raised in a house with a mother and a father. I don't want my son to go a day without seeing you. I don't think I want to go a day without seeing you Cullen." I murmured the last part.

"Awww look at Leah being all mushy," he laughed I rolled my eyes but another tear dropped. He wiped it. "Should I blame this on pregnancy hormones?"

"Shut up Cullen! I'm making hard life decisions here! I don't what's hold me back I don't know if it's fear or pride." I frowned and then looked him in his golden eyes, "but I just want to ignore it all. I want you to love me. I . . . . want to be your wife." I was surprised instead of being elated Edward pulled away from me.

"As happy as it would make me to believe you Leah, you have been through a lot today. We all have, you could just be traumatized by everything that has happened. Are you sure?" He grabbed my hands and studied them.

"Nope," I laughed, " I don't think I will ever be one hundred percent sure that I should marry someone that up until recently I was biologically made to kill, but this is as close as I have ever been to being sure . . . since I said yes the first time." I shrugged. "So what do you say are you my fiancé again?"

"Yes of course I want you to be my wife." He went to kiss me and I jerked away.

"Sorry force of habit." I allowed him to kiss me and trust I didn't regret that decision. He kissed me so slow and tenderly. When he pulled away I could tell that his mind was fast at work. "What's wrong?"

"I'm just planning our wedding. I need to get a ring on your finger quick before you change you mind again." He picked me up and swung me around in a circle. Then he paused, "or do you want us to wait a while before planning anything?" I looked down at my stomach and thought about his proposition if we waited it would give me more time to forget about Bella and that she ever existed but there were other things that needed to be considered.

"If we are going to get married I figure that we could do our child a favor a not make him a literal bastard. That's one thing my mom would be able to say I did correctly." I sighed.

"How far along are you?" He touched my stomach and then looked at me. "Are you sure you aren't rushing this I mean I just don't want you to feel any regret or to . . ."

"Fall out of love with you," I spit out a laugh, "please Cullen you are stuck to my heart like crazy glue I can't get rid of you. Anytime I still want to marry you after . . . you know what I not going to mention that anymore why dig up the past when it's dead and gone. I know I will always love you and I want to marry you." He smiled and pulled me close once more.

"Married!" Jacob's voice boomed he and Taima joined us outside.

"After all the craziness that just happened you pick right now to propose. Maybe Leah is ready to live a normal life without the undead." He snapped darkly.

"That's kind of impossible Jake since I'm carrying one." I said showing him my stomach. His eyes bugged out of his head at least that was one person that seriously didn't know that I was pregnant. He looked over a Taima who looked indifferent, I knew why but he obviously didn't.

"Why aren't you surprised?" He narrowed his eyes at her accusingly.

"Because I knew . . . and before you try to huff about it, it wasn't my information to tell." He closed his mouth and frowned that was the first time in a long time that I'd seen anyone shut up Jake in such a way.

"You could've given me some sort of clue." He murmured.

"Not my business to tell!" She said reiterating her previous statement. It was funny he wasn't expecting her to respond to him, I guess he forgot her hearing was just as good as his.

"Yeah I'm glad she kept it a secret," I said breaking up their little spat, "hell I didn't tell this one he had to tell me he knew. It wouldn't have been right for you to know before he did." Jacob stared at my stomach as if in a trance.

"So you're having it?" He asked and I couldn't believe that he did but he wasn't the first. The thing I was had actually talked to Jacob about my fears that I might not be able to be a mother for him to think that I would consider trying to abort this baby was pure craziness.

"God why does everyone keep asking me that? Why wouldn't I have the child of the man I love?" Edward smirked he was obviously pleased with my answer. I was too; it was the small revelations that were showing me how deep Cullen affected me, and if I loved him so much that it haunted my subconscious I guess I had choice but to be with him. I grabbed his hand I wanted to be connected to him. I wanted him to know that I was now one hundred percent sure I was making the right decision.

I looked at Jacob who now had a slightly disgusted look on his face. I couldn't see why I mean he had laid down with a vampire several times he had to know the feeling and how amazing it was. I rolled my eyes annoyed by his disposition.

"And also we were engaged to married before . . . I screwed up." Edward looked down as if he were ashamed I squeezed his hand tighter.

"Yeah I did hear about that," I looked over to Jacob who was now judging my fiancé when he had no right to, "riding with Alice and Jasper was over informative . . . looks like Bella found a way to rape both of us leech." He actually felt sorry for Edward his eyes met his with understanding. Jacob's words which I initially thought were meant to annoy Edward actually gave me a much needed reality check. Edward was taken by Bella against his will . . . I mean he was put under what I would consider Jasper's spell with is the closest a vampire can get to being under some type of drug. He was vulnerable and taken against his will . . . he really was raped by Bella. I wouldn't fault anyone else for fallen victim to such a tragedy why should I fault Edward?

"Yeah looks like she did . . . at least her mind and soul can be at rest." Edward mused. "I mean she was really messed up mentally to do the things she did."

"I agree with you . . . it's sad I used to think that her actions were based on loneness but it was total selfishness. If the leader leech was right and she felt she had made the wrong decision she should have just lived with her decision like a normal person instead of trying to be with both of us. I mean up until the day she left to find the Volturi she attempted to force herself on me." Jacob sighed, "fortunately for me I now have a kick ass best friend that put Bella in her place!" Jacob wrapped his arm around Taima's shoulders and her face went funny.

"You should have been in the vehicle when Alice heard that bit of news." Taima laughed softly and maneuvered from Jakey's touch. "She acted as if Bella had cheated on her instead of your mate. He's taking it a lot better than she did."

"It's because I'm not affected with what Bella's done or what she thought. Once she became a vampire she" he paused and sighed, ". . . the Bella that I loved died a long time ago." He looked over to me as if he was telling me something new but he had said a good million times before.

"I know Cullen and so did the Sam I was obsessed with. Now there is only you, you are the only one I want."

"The feeling is more than mutual," he said embracing me it was weird to display our affections in front of others; Edward apparently had no problem with it. I didn't either it's just that for so long we had to act as though our desire for each other was wrong. After a while Jacob cleared his throat it had to be more than awkward for him after all of Edward and his battles over Bella they were both standing here indifferent about her death and deciding the next steps in their future.

"Well I guess we should head home my dad is probably worried," he looked at Taima and she nodded I guess letting him know that she was ready to go too, "Congratulations Leah it this is what you want then I'm happy for you." Jacob hugged me before leaving and then he surprisingly shook Edward's hand.

"I hope you know what you're getting yourself into. She can't be tamed." I arched my eyebrow at him and then punched him in the chest. "Ow! See what I mean."

* * *

When we finally went back inside Cullen grabbed my hand and led me into the dining room. I paused a couple of times. I really didn't feel like doing this right now. "It has to be done Leah. Why not get all the major stuff done before the sun officially rises?" He whispered before entering the room. His family was still talking about the night's events and discussing Bella actions.

"I still can't believe that our Bella would take such actions against us just because felt she was losing Edward." Esme mused. I couldn't believe that she still had the story wrong Aro pretty much spelled it out for her and she still wasn't seeing the light.

"Her actions were based off revenge. She wanted revenge on Leah and taking Ness away would do just that. She knew that since she couldn't control Edward anymore that she could take another person away from Leah and she could potentially have her killed." Jasper said and looked at me with sad smiling eyes. The more he talked I realized that he more sense than most of the leeches in the room. How did he end up with such a crazy wife like Alice?

"She should have known that her plan would end in her death. I don't how many times I told her that Leah was truly the same as Taima and Rozene and that the Volturi wouldn't be able to kill her she would just laugh I guess she thought I was speaking idle words." Alice shook her head, "Maybe she wanted to die? I mean she was in love with the mutt for crying out loud! I'd want to die if I suffered the same fate."

"I will admit I will miss Bella she was always the same to me," he laughed a little, "but this Leah chick is pretty cool too." He said wrapping his arm my shoulders and pulling me away from Edward, who started to tighten his grip but slowly allow his brother to play with me.

"I have to agree with you there son she has grown on me too." Carlisle smiled at me.

"I'm glad you all feel that way," Edward said pulling me away from his brother, "because we are getting married." The expected lot seemed happy about the news only Esme and Alice seemed indifferent.

"Way to tell us the night of your wife's death that not in good taste son." Esme chided, "but since there's a child involved . . ."

"What my wife means to say is welcome to the family Leah." Carlisle hugged me.

"Thanks Carlisle."

"Yes welcome," Esme got up and hugged me briefly, "our granddaughter will be happy about this she is crazy about you." She said trying to be sincere then she and her husband made their way upstairs. Emmet and Rosalie followed, Jasper attempted to do the same to give Edward and me some more privacy but Alice hesitated.

"I just wanted you to know I never hated you. I just hated the fact that my best friend was so unhappy . . . I hope we can be civil?" She extended her hand to me and I shook it. "I hope that the two of you will be truly happy." Her eyes were sincere even though she couldn't bring the expression to the other features of her face.

"Thanks Alice," she nodded and then returned to her husband and they disappeared upstairs. "That wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it would be." I said addressing Edward who had now relocated to the living room.

"Yes it does seem that my family has given up trying to know what's best for me." I sat down beside him and repositioned me so that I was sitting in his lap. He rubbed my stomach and sighed as if he were truly at peace.

"Well it about time! What are you like 200 years old?" I laughed.

"Something like that," he said as he tilted my chin angling our lips together for passionate albeit short kiss.

"That best kiss I've ever received from a senior citizen!" I laughed so hard that my stomach jiggled. Then I noticed that his face had become somber. "Don't go all drab on my Cullen." I placed small butterfly kisses around his face it wasn't my normal style but I did miss him and the sweet taste of his skin so any connection was a good one no matter how mushy.

"I'm not being drab I was just thinking . . . about your mother. I think we should tell her tomorrow." I tensed for a moment and the shrug my shoulders nine times out of ten Jacob already gave her the news. Plus, I was a woman and I've made my decision Edward Cullen will be my husband no matter what my mother says.

* * *

_Author's Note: Happy New Year! Wow this chapter was hard I'm fighting the block. Well actually I may not really be blocked there's just been a lot of things going on in my house it's been hard to find a place to think but anyway it's finished. Since this chapter has so much filler I probably will still have two chapters to go I know I said that last chapter so I'm just going to stop guessing and go where the story takes me. Sigh, so next chapter Leah's mother and her face off! Then the wedding and other fun stuff! Please read and review, and no flames . . . Thanks!_

_Also this chapter is hot off the presses and will be looked over tomorrow and replaced if need be please PM me with any concerns about grammar. _


	25. Chapter 25

Chapter 25

"Married? Married!" My mother raised her voice, I couldn't believe that Edward thought dealing with my family was going to be easy. The Cullen's although they may be bloodsucking monsters by definition acted with more class and poise than my family did. I hated the fact that Emily and Sam just happened to be at her house when I was trying to talk to my mother and my brother alone. At least there were a few faces I was happy to see my whole pack was there as well as Billy Black and Taima, but the majority of Taima's focus was on keeping Claire and Sammie preoccupied. Anyway, the reason that my cousin and my ex were perched in my mother's home was because my mother, out of the goodness of her heart had decided to throw my cousin yet another baby shower. I tried to focus on my good news but my eyes kept glancing to the hand made little invitations crowned with pink lace.

"Yep were getting hitched," I sighed and looked up at Edward who was standing defensively right behind the couch I happened to be sitting on. He smiled at me his eyes flickered with compassion, they also held that silent anger that could be intimidating if it was directed at me.

"Bella's spirit just left the earth and you claiming what was hers so quickly." My mother judged me without knowing the full extent of the situation. It wasn't like I killed Bella myself for crying out loud! Her best friend had handled that all by herself.

"Bella took her daughter and practically served her to the Volturi she wasn't the sweet girl we all thought she was." Thankfully Jacob was there to add a little common sense to the situation, poor guy was still all wrapped up due to his injuries but he looked like he was being taken care of extremely well. Tiama never left his side, I mean she wasn't clinging to him at this very moment but every now and then her eyes would glance up to do an area check for his location. I was going to have to ask one of them about their convenient little situation.

"The man was still married regardless even if the woman didn't use the best logic she didn't deserve to die." Sam said bluntly.

"No one said she did," Edward spoke quietly yet his tone was so cold it had to make Sam feel inferior, "I would have married Leah even if Bella was alive . . . I had actually planned to prior to recent events we are just starting fresh ad trying to do what is right." He placed his hands on my shoulders.

"It's a little late for that don't you think . . . I mean a woman is dead because of your discretions." My mother scoffed. "I'm sorry I don't mean to belittle your happiness dear, but I hope you didn't expect me to be happy about this!" She looked down at the baby shower guest list. My heart broke; my mom didn't care two shits about my happiness. She couldn't do me the same kindness as she did for my cousin she could have just hugged me and been happy with me and want to make plans with me. I guess the role of Sue Clearwater's daughter was now being played by Emily Uley, and Emily who claimed to want to be close with me again barely would look at me now that my mother and her husband were so against my actions. It was my mistake for thinking that she actually had grown a back bone.

"Well I am!" Seth said breaking the silence and hugging me, "and I know dad would be happy too!"

"Thank you Seth," I whispered into his chest, I had no idea how much his words meant to me. I just need one person in my family to stand up for me. I should have known it would be Seth.

"I may not be family but I'm glad you'll finally be happy Leah. I know how much you love him congrats!" Embry traded places with Seth, and Quil showed the same kindness. Edward shared a few handshakes with the guys. Then my tears started to fall, they were happy tears, I was glad that my wedding may not have to be as one sided in guess as I envisioned it in my head.

"Damn, has marrying a leech made you all soft?" Seth teased.

"No," it was time for the other shoe to drop, "but being pregnant by this leech does." Sam immediately started to laugh.

"Now it's all starting to make sense! Leah trapped you dude, good for you trying to do the right thing." He spoke condescendingly. Edward just laughed and made no comment. "See Leah, even your fiancé agrees with me, way to land yet another man that doesn't really want you." Edward's hands tensed around my shoulders.

"No you are wrong as usual. The first time that I asked for Leah's hand she was without child, I begged for her love and I'm lucky enough to receive it. You are just a damned fool that lost a good thing and too stupid or blind to realize it." He smiled at me then kissed my lips, my mom sighed heavily and looked away from the sight, it was her lost Cullen and me are extremely hot together.

"Where did I go wrong?" She lowered her head in disappointment.

"Sue enough! That is your daughter!" Billy snapped. "You need to be there for her just as you are for your niece. Harry would be crushed by your behavior!"

"My daughter is a thieving mistress! How can I support that! Emily didn't steal Sam from anyone!" My mom stood and yelled and Billy's face and everyone got quiet and looked at me. They all knew that Emily did take Sam from me my mother had completely and totally forgotten about me. I stood up and addressed them all.

"I just wanted to let you all know what was going on . . .," my damned tears wouldn't allow me to at least pretend to be strong, "I don't care how you feel about my marriage, it's going to happen . . . and our baby," I head my stomach and I felt him kick, I walked over to my mother and took her hand and placed it on my stomach. "He's your grandson, I hope you can get over yourself enough to love him!" I dropped her hand ad turned to Edward. "I'm ready to go." He nodded, escorted me to the door, and opened it for me.

"I'll be out momentarily," he smiled and reentered the house. I knew what he was going to do, Eddie was going to go in there and defend my "honor" the poor sap and his hero complex got him every time. I waited by the door step listening to every word.

"What now leech!" Sam growled as though he was frustrated with Cullen's presence, I can't lie many times I have envisioned Cullen kicking Sam's ass if today was that day I would happily carry my ass back inside.

"I want it known by everyone in this house that I will treat you, Sam Uley, with kindness and respect . . . but if you hurt Leah in anyway, shape, or form . . . even if you simply think about it . . . I will kill you and make your precious Emily a widow. I won't think twice." His words sent a chill down my spine yet wet my panties at the same time. "And also I heard your thoughts where my child is concerned . . . you are a warped sick man to hate something so much yet want the same thing so badly. The child in Leah's womb is mine and you will NEVER defile MY Leah with your seed ever again!" He hissed, "I should destroy you for even thinking about her in that way!"

"I think you should leave Edward." My mother said again showing her true colors, "if you and my daughter are going to bring all of this hostility into my home . . . what I'm saying is that if she is so intent on marrying you she may want to not stay in touch." My heart continued to be pummeled by my mother's nonchalant abandon of our relationship. How could she want to forget about me so easily? I thought she had actually missed when I left and things did seem better in the beginning. I sat down on the stoop and waited for Edward to return to me.

"Mom!" Seth warned with a disgusted tone to his voice.

"Don't worry Seth she doesn't mean it." Edward smirked, "you may not want to admit it right now but your heart melted when you felt the baby move within your own daughter's womb. You immediately envisioned what your grandson would look like and holding him. I know you Sue, you are too selfish to deny yourself the pleasure of meeting him. However I will ask respectfully that you apologize to my fiancé before you ever try to make contact with your grandchild." Edward sighed and I heard his foot steps near the door. "I believe that is it . . . good day everyone." Once outside he assisted me with standing upright not that I needed it I wasn't that big, however I did feel quite a bit bigger today than I felt yesterday.

"You feel better now that you showed Sam who has the bigger pee-pee?" I said using my best baby voice, trying to make light of the extremely sad situation.

"Do I really have the bigger pee-pee?" He laughed playing along.

"Hellz yeah waaaay bigger," I smirked.

"That's what I like to hear." We got in the car and headed home away from the nightmare.

* * *

To my surprise we headed straight to the apartment instead of picking up Ness from the Cullen's main house. "What's going on?"

"There's been a change of plans . . .," Edward opened the door and extended his hand for me to take.

"Duh, I realized that when we got on the highway! Do you want to tell me what's going on?"

"Don't you trust me?" He gave me his best attempt at puppy dog eyes.

"Sometimes."

"You don't have any real reason to," he said his typical self loathing tone, "but this is a positive thing I promise." He opened the door and I was rushed by my little bronze haired side kick. "Hey kid!" I picked her up and Edward took her from me. I guess he thought Ness may be too heavy for me to handle but the way I figured it, if I could fight in a battle I could certainly pick up the kid for a few minutes.

"We went shopping!" Ness beamed.

"We?" Rose, Rebecca, and Esme came out of the main bedroom with bags of clothing.

"Carlisle said that he wasn't sure how much longer you would be pregnant but we all thought that you may want to show off your bump a little." Esme said handing me the first shopping bag, she smiled a weak smile. I knew it wasn't fully sincere but she was trying to be that was more than I could say for my own mom.

"Thanks . . .," I looked inside the bag she had purchased a lavender dress; it was very thin and had a spring vibe, "this is very decent!"

"I hoped you'd like it." Then Esme hugged me, she embraced me quickly and tightly; my whole body tensed by the transaction. "It's a peace offering and I want you to know that I will always be there for your son . . . and you of course."

"Of course . . .," I arched my eyebrow wondering what she really meant by her statement.

"There's more," Rose and Rebecca relinquished at least six more bags into my custody.

"We also got stuff for my brother!" Ness said pulling my arm. "But it's in the back come on!" She took me into the room we had set up for her and in its corner I saw a crib and a rocking chair made of a dark maple oak.

"Beautiful," I whispered as I ran my fingers along the crib's siding. Then I noticed they had a few outfits laid out inside the crib.

"We didn't want to do too much . . . we knew you might want to shop for him on your own. I hope we didn't over step?" Rose now stood beside me she down at the clothing and her face held a gentle sadness in them. I knew what she was feeling until I became pregnant I felt it too.

"No, this was perfect, all of this was just what I needed thanks."

"Your welcome."

"We should go and give you all some privacy." Becca's words sounded like music to my ears. I needed some quiet time to digest everything, even though I was touched by what Rose and Becca and the rest had done, I was still hurt by my mother's actions.

* * *

I felt like cooking, I looked at Ness who was still fiddling with the baby stuff they had all brought over. I had the extreme urge to provide for her and care for her. "You hungry?" I moved to the kitchen and pulled out some pots and pans.

"No," the girl answered quickly and it kind of stole my thunder.

"You're not hungry?" I said with disbelief. She turned from what she was doing and looked up at me.

"No, but if you want to cook for me you can," she smirked, "you look kind of helpless." She hit the nail on the head, that's exactly how I felt no matter how ridiculous it sounded.

"You know what I want to do?" Edward came from the back with a huge book full of baby names.

"Yay!" The girl clapped excitedly, "Let's name my baby brother so people can stop calling him 'the baby'." I sat in between them as they filtered through the book. A couple of the names jumped out at me like Eliot and Eli, but nothing really stuck.

"What about Alexander," Cullen smirked, "you know like Alexander the great."

"You laugh but I actually kinda like that name. I'd been toying with it as a middle name." I mused.

"The middle to what?" Ness and Edward both looked at me.

"Masen?" Edward said stealing my words again.

"Dude, can I speak please!" I laughed but I was annoyed he was going to have to stop doing that. "But yeah I have been saying it to myself Masen Alexander Cullen."

"His initials spell MAC." Ness giggled. "I like it!"

"What about you Cullen?" He frowned slightly.

"Don't get me wrong the name has a ring to it but I thought you may want to name our son after your father?"

"I thought about it but neither Masen Harry or Harry Masen sounded good to me." I smiled at fiancé that was too busy reading my mind to really listen to my words.

"So you're stuck on the whole Masen thing?"

"Solidly convinced . . . besides the first baby should be named after the daddy, that be you! The next one can be my dad's namesake." I ruffled his hair then stood up, now I _was_ hungry, I wanted a sandwich with lots of juicy pickles.

"The next one?" We never discussed having more kids I just always assumed we would.

"Do you have a problem helping me make another baby?" I was going to brush myself against him but it was all belly, we both laughed.

"I have no problems with that," he whispered, "I'll keep up barefoot and pregnant if that's what you desire." He traced the outline of my face and his eyes widened that golden topaz stare warmed my heart.

"That's a little extreme maybe one or two more after this one." I patted my stomach and then rubbed his chest.

"Maybe we should practice tonight . . .," he breathed the words in my ear. As turned on as I felt I couldn't get past my stomach, that wasn't the number one thing on my mind.

"I actually find you extremely desirable this way you glow now that you're with child." He wrapped his arms around what you used to be my waist but now is quickly becoming an equator.

"Stop trying to seduce me!" I shoved him slightly.

"Yes! Stop trying to seduce her! I swear I think my ears are bleeding!" She made fake gagging sounds.

"Trust me if you were bleeding I'd know it." Edward said picking at his daughter who now joined us in the kitchen.

"Seriously dad stop talking about getting it in with my Leah . . . it's gross!" She popped him on the nose.

"Getting it in? Are you starting to sound like Embry now?" I laughed that was a typical thing he was say.

"Don't hate because I'm funny and clever!" She said taking the other half my sandwich I just finished making.

"I thought you weren't hungry?"

"I changed my mind!" She giggled and ran to her room.

"Hey where are you. . .," I went to follow her but Edward swung me around to him, "going?" I whispered the last part as my partner's lips covered mine.

"Let her disappear for a few minutes." He murmured his mouth now against my neck, in my mind I imagined me begging him to stop not because didn't want it, it was just weird having him get me hot while Ness was still awake. My head was swimming and my knees buckled and of course Edward supported me. "I guess you want me to stop?"

"We should." My heart beat had staggered he knew he had me.

"Wait til I get you alone." He sang quietly behind me as we went to find our daughter. It looked like my night was going to be a whole lot better than my day was.

* * *

_Author's Note_

_I wanted to give y'all another chapter I'm sorry it's short. I was wondering if you wanted to know how their night ended in the next chapter, if not we can skip to the next day. Let me know in your review! I hope you liked this chapter it opens up a little more drama so the story can last longer. As always please read and review . . . and no flames!_


	26. Chapter 26

Author's Note: I decided to go in a different direction with this chapter which means. A new day begins . . .

* * *

Chapter 26

"Where are we?" I was surrounded by violet flowers in the deep depths of Forks. The rays of light that rained down on the area made it seem angelic and peaceful.

"This is the meadow." My fiance' said bluntly and I stared at him shocked.

"The meadow? Why are we here?" I may have hated Bella on some levels but I didn't want to replace any of the memories he had with her.

"We aren't here to replace anything, Leah. I need to say goodbye to her. I'm at peace with the Bella that we just killed, but the Bella that I loved so many years ago I never fully said goodbye to the idea of her. I want to bury her." I understood where he was coming from but it seemed a little impossible.

"How?" I looked around, "it's not like we have her ashes or anything?" He smirked and pulled out a letter.

"This is my goodbye and my apology to her." He frowned. "It's my apology for turning her and stopping her heart." Damn he really seemed guilty.

"Cullen, you know her behavior once she became a vampire wasn't your fault. I mean she still had a choice. She _chose_ to act that way." He nodded and smiled at me.

"I know Leah, I completely agree with you. I just need to do this to make peace in my soul sorta speak." He smiled and kissed my cheek. "I actually needed you here with me for this. I wanted you to be a witness." I felt honored that he wanted me close. "Will you help me find a place for this?" I nodded he took my hand and we walked around the area. We ended up in the center of the meadow. He dropped down to one knee and dug a deep hole gently placing the letter inside. After he covered the piece of paper with the loosened earth and then reached for my hand again.

"You okay?" I squeezed his hand a little and he smiled at me.

"I'm with you, so of course I'm fine." He kissed my cheek once more and I rolled my eyes.

"Oh my God you're full of shit today aren't you?" I said pulling him toward the car.

* * *

Once in the car headed away from Bella's meadow and back into town. At first when he had said that hadn't let go of her red flags went off in my head. All those times we had been together and all those times he had said that he didn't love her anymore . . . could they have been fake? Maybe now that she was dead and he had the time to process that he would never see her again, he realized that he still loved her? I sighed and stared aimlessly out of the window. If he needed that moment and he needed me with him I was there for him, but I couldn't help but wonder why now?

"Because I'm about to marry you and I don't want any baggage to get in the way of our happiness?" He said quietly, "I wanted you to witness me letting go of her fully. I wanted you to know that you are the only one I would ever want." I smirked but never looked at him.

"Thanks."

"No problem." He grabbed my hand and rubbed his thumb across my knuckles. "You know you could do the same with Sam."

"What do you mean?" I looked at him; I couldn't believe he thought that the situations were the same. "Cullen, Bella was different before I mean she was a decent person maybe a little weak but decent. It made sense for you to love her but then she got all crazy. Sam was always the way he is I just never could see his true colors. I couldn't see him for the ass that he truly is until . . . he hooked up with my cousin." I cringed at the statement; it was still messed even though it didn't hold the same emotions for me. Edward seemed more than happy with my response. "Edward, can you promise me something?"

"Yes anything." He seemed to be trying to listen for my thoughts.

"Promise me that once we are married we won't let the past ruin it. I don't want to talk about loving anyone else but you from that day forward." I placed his hand on my stomach.

"I like that, hell we should start today!" He said jokingly but I was serious.

"We can't start today Cullen. I mean today can be about final goodbyes and tomorrow we'll start fresh forgetting them all." He stopped the car we stopped about half a mile from my special place of land. I thought we could have a little lunch. He pulled the basket of food from the backseat and then opened door for me.

"Come on my love," he said wrapping my arm in his. I frowned he knew I hated pet names. "Calling you my love isn't really a pet name; it's more of a fact."

"Whatever," I took in a deep breath when I saw the area. I felt like I was home.

"What would you think about having the wedding here Leah?" I shook my head.

"I don't want a whole bunch of people trampling over my memories. I know where I want to get married . . . I've wanted to get married there since I was a little girl." I smiled remembering all the daydreams I had of getting married at La Push, of course I never saw myself getting married with a basketball belly but I could cope.

"I don't how the elders would like me marrying one of their kind on their land." He said I think he didn't want to get my hopes up on something he couldn't deliver.

"I could give a flying fuck about what concerns the elders," I paused long enough to descend onto the ground, "Billy Black could convince them. He has been like a father at times since mine passed. I think he would help us." Edward smiled and kissed the top of my head.

"If that's what you wish I will do whatever it takes to make it come true." He opened the picnic basket and fixed me a plate. "I know you're hungry."

"What's that supposed to be some kind of jab because I'm super duper fat!" I snapped and he busted out laughing.

"You're not fat. You're pregnant." He said rubbing my belly.

"Sometimes I can't tell the difference." I put my hands over his.

"I can . . . because your belly talks to me. He says I love mommy for keeping me safe." I rolled my eyes, I was pretty sure he was feeding me a butt load of crap. "I'm serious Leah the child talks and has feelings. He's kind of blunt like you. I know when he's hungry, sleepy, or dreaming."

"What about right now?" I turned so that I could read Edwards face. "What's he thinking?"

"I thought you didn't like me raping minds?" I just glared at him; he knew I expected an answer. "He's shifting."

"Shifting? Like phasing? Are you telling me I have a little wolf inside me?" The thought crept me out I took my hands of my own stomach. "Tell him to stop!"

"No, that's what I meant. He's just moving, you know, like getting himself into position to be born. He feels crowded because he's getting bigger." Now I felt stupid.

"You should." I nudged my supposed loving fiancé. Then picked at some of the cheese on the plate he fixed for me. He took a piece and put it in his mouth.

"What are you doing there is no need to waste perfectly good food, Cullen." He laughed and grabbed another piece.

"Since your little 'blood transfusion' I have obtain some rather odd human characteristics. I can produce tears. I can sleep and some foods appeal to me . . . but I'd have to say the attribute that I'm enjoying the most is the lack of aching thirst, I haven't had the urge to hunt in months." I knew I was noticing some changes in him I just didn't know I was the reason. I was glad he no longer in constant pain and made me want to help others, namely one in particular.

"How would feel about me allowing Ness to drink some of my blood?" I asked and he was immediately apprehensive.

"I had already thought about that . . . and I want you to just not now. I want her to be fully grown and aware of the fact that if she does not stop she will kill you."

"I think she would understand that Cullen, the girl is smarter than you think." I chided.

"I know how smart she is. I also know that she is still is a child and children make mistakes. I want you to wait." He squeezed my arms. "Promise me Leah!"

"Fine, God I promise." Then I started thinking about others I cared about.

"Carlisle wouldn't allow you to put yourself in danger that way and Rosalie . . . her blood lust is so strong she would kill you. If you could find another way to give it to her I wouldn't care." I understood and knew where he was coming from.

"So I wonder why my blood only cured some of the affects of you being a vampire . . . I wonder why it didn't make you completely human?"

"I wondered the same thing and talked to Taimaabout it. She thinks that your blood hunted out all the things it considered weakness. Like the pain I was in and the ability to feel emotion or taste. It didn't take away any of my strengths, matter of fact, it may have made me faster and stronger."

"Oh God, that was the last thing you need is to think you're faster than you already are." I said picking at the rest of the cold cuts on the plate. "You're head already won't fit the apartment door."

"Right, because I have such a big ego." He scoffed and then murmured, "you're just mad because I'm faster than you."

"You were faster than me. Were." I laughed and then laid my head in his lap.

"Please, Leah, as right now I'm faster than you I don't see you running very well with that beach ball belly bouncing in front of you!" He laughed once more and I slugged him in the chest.

"This is a temporary state! Once Masen is born I'm going to put you back in your place Cullen."

"I'll wait for but I won't hold my breath."

"Would it matter if you did?" I looked up at him and he shook his head at me. "That's what I thought."

* * *

After our peaceful outing we headed back to Billy Black's Embry had said that he planned to Ness there when he babysat. I noticed that Cullen's face dramatically shifted as we entered the car. "Something's wrong!" He got back out of the car and then looked at me and got back in. "Leah, I need to run ahead. Meet me at Bill Blacks okay?" I nodded and switched seats and then took off.

When I got to the house I immediately smelled it blood . . . lots of blood. I saw Carlisle's car and Jacob standing outside. I planned to walk straight past him but he blocked me, which wasn't smart because he still wasn't completely healed form the battle. "This isn't the time for games, Black!"

"Look, I'm just doing what I was told. They don't want you in there!" Jacob said blocking me once more as I tried to move. Taimajoined us both outside, huge shocker there. She looked at me studying my disposition.

"Several people have been hurt. I need you to understand it was an accident before you barge in." She said calmly but her face seemed odd.

"Do you seriously believe that it was an accident?" Her eyes diverted down. "That's what I've been told."

"Well I'll be my own judge of the situation." I entered the living room to find Embry's ribcage covered in bandages and his left eye swollen shut, but no blood. I looked to Quil who seemed just fine he wouldn't look at me, nor would Paul.

"Ow!" Came from little Ness in the back room and I immediately jumped and ran to her. Her tears ripped me apart inside. It was her blood all over the white sheets and claw marks across her little abdomen. Thunder began to ripple outside and my very core began to shake. Her cries were that of shrieking pain. I went to her side. "Leah," she mouthed, "it hurts so bad!"

"Who did this to you?" The question was the only thing I could think to say. She looked at her father who shook his head at her. "Fine if you won't allow her to tell me you tell me! Who the fuck did this to our daughter, Cullen!"

"I will handle him once she is cleared!" Edward hissed but it wasn't good enough I needed results now.

"Him. That's all I needed to know." I kissed Ness' hand and went back into the living room and looked at all of the people inside. Embry wouldn't hurt a fly, matter of fact, everyone in the room had a liking toward my Ness except for Sam. He had a couple of bruise and minor scars on his face, but _he_ was able to stand.

"Who did this to my daughter?" I growled.

"She isn't your daughter," Emily whispered, "she's Bella's daughter." I rolled my eyes at the stupid remark.

"It doesn't matter who's blood flows through her veins, Emily. What matters right now is who was a big enough stupid ass punk to strike a child! If you don't know the answer shut the hell up!" I growled my hands had started to shake and the beautiful sunshine that blessed the day was now overthrown by the darkness that was my anger. "DID _YOUR_ SAM DO THIS?"

"Don't you dare attack Emily," Sam finally having the balls to speak, "she do anything to the hybrid monster and I wouldn't have either if she hadn't got in the way! I was minding my business and Embry thoughts mingled with mine and he had the audacity to . . . defend _you_ and that's when I went to attack and the girl got in the way." I slapped him as soon as he finished the statement.

"I DON'T CARE WHAT STUPID EXCUSE YOU THINK YOU CAN POSSIBLY MUSTER TO MAKE HITTING A CHILD OKAY DUMB NUTS IT IS WRONG! NOW I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU HOW IT FEELS!" I shoved him outside and the wind whipped around us. I heard Taimaand Jacob begging me to stop but my anger twisted their scream in light murmurs in the back of my mind. "YOU SAM ULEY ARE NOT A MAN, BUT A BITCH SO I PLAN TO FUCK YOU UP LIKE ONE."

"Oh really," he gave me a smug look before he went to phase, I punched him before he could completely finish the task, so now his lay before me naked and stupid as the day he was born. I stared at him and my anger was apparently overwhelming to the point where I started to shake beyond my power to control it. My wolf took over she raised to her hind legs and brought the majority of her body weigh crushing down on my ex the asshole. He laid their gasping for breaths, she hadn't killed him although all of the bones in his upper body had been crushed he wasn't dead. I could be satisfied with that, it would take him at least a month to heal all the damage she had cause. I smirked confident in what I had accomplished . . . but then the pain hit me.

Horrible pains in my stomach caused my wolf to disappear and for me to now be laying beside the scum of the earth holding my baby in fear that I may have cause horrible damage. "If there is anything wrong with my baby I will kill you the next chance I get." I breathed to him before Taima scooped me up.

"You don't listen! That's something you're really gonna have to work on." She bypassed using the front door and snuck me in the back way to Jacob's bedroom. She gave me one of his oversized T-shirts to cover my nakedness and then left the room. Not two seconds later, Carlisle and Edward came in to check on me.

"Leah, why did you make a bad situation worse?" Carlisle chided me as he tried to examine Masen and me. "Now I have to worry about both my grandchildren and you at the same time." He looked between my legs and wiped up the blood. "You've forced yourself into labor let's hope that human medicine will be enough to stop it because he's most definitely not in position yet. I'm not going to give you more than the normal dose because I don't know what kind of effect it would have on the baby." I nodded and looked to Edward.

"I'm so sorry Edward." A tear ran down my face. He forced himself to look at me, he was pissed, but he grabbed my hand regardless.

"Everything is going to be okay. Just relax and pray that the contractions stop." I tried to hide the fact that another pain clenched my stomach but Carlisle and Edward looked at each other.

"We'll give it some time . . . for the medicine to take affect." Carlisle went to leave to go back to Ness and I stopped him.

"Carlisle, don't tell Ness about this okay?"

"I know you wouldn't want to worry her." I felt so bad for the trouble I had caused over my anger and pride. I could have lost something that meant so much more to me than Sam's punk ass ever did. Paul and Quil dragged Sam's body into Jacob's room and placed him on the floor beside Edward and me. At any other point of my life it would have been so worth it to kick his ass but not now. I smoothed my hands over my stomach. "Not now." I whispered and Edward gripped my hand tighter.

"Masen's not in any discomfort he was just trying to get out." Edward said trying to be in good spirits. "He doesn't like it when you are angry and neither do I so please stay calm."

"Don't worry I will."

* * *

Author's Note (prt 2): I hope you liked this chapter! A lot of things happened and I was surprised it came to me so easily since I've been really sick lately. Anyway please read and review and please no flames.


	27. Chapter 27

_Author's Note: I know I've been away forever! Please forgive me! After I read chapter 26 I left you all at the most horrible time! Poor Masen has waited months to be born this chapter should get him a little closer to his reveal._

* * *

Chapter 27

Bed rest sucks but what makes it worse is sharing your space with the idiot you just tried to kill. I've been stuck in Jacob's room for the past two days with Sam suffering on the floor beside me. Twice Carlisle has had to break Sam's bones in attempt to get them to grow in properly. He looked so helpless the way Carlisle had him hooked up. I wanted nothing more than to get up and kick him while he was down. However, for the sake of my son I stayed put. Luckily, the medicine seemed to be working the only time I experienced any pain is when I would get upset so I really tried to forget about the scum on the floor. I flicked through the channels mindlessly.

"Can you please pick a channel and stick to it? The flickering of the lights is driving me crazy!" He snapped.

"Don't talk to me dog!" I murmured and continued doing what I was doing.

"How dare you call me a dog you bitch!" He tried to sit upright and ended up groaning in pain.

"You're right I am a bitch . . . physically that's what I turn into. However, I was talking about your current state. You are a dog . . . actually you're worse! What's the proper name for a man that would lay hands on a child? I can't think of the proper term so douche bag will have to suffice." I rolled my eyes and ended up staying on a channel with a talk show about women that couldn't get over their exes. I had no problem in that department. I was so over Sam Uley it wasn't funny.

"I told you I didn't mean to hurt the child! She shouldn't have been in the way." He murmured.

"I guess she's was just like Emily's face huh?" I said and he tried to get up again and I laughed. "You really need to control your temper."

"I think you want me to stay injured so that I will stay trapped in this room with you." He countered.

"Dream on Sam! I could care less if you stay in here however I do plan to be outta here very soon." I said wiggling my toes. I decided that remembering the color of my socks was more important than the conversation I was having with Sam.

"Right, as soon as you give birth to that spawn of Satan!" He laughed.

"Clever think of that all by yourself," I scoffed at how unoriginal he was. The I felt a slight pain run through the lower part of my stomach, "look don't talk okay." I winced in pain trying to decide it was a contraction or not. "Carlisle!" I yelled I rather be safe than sorry.

"What's wrong?" He said checking me out.

"It hurts and I can't relax enough for it to go away!" I clenched my teeth. Jasper was at the doorframe and he set a wave over everyone in the room calming us. The pain was now minimal but Carlisle was still worried.

"I don't how much longer we can maneuver you this way. I would like it if the baby stayed inside for another week but I think we'll be lucky if we make it through this week. I'll make sure that we have all the equipment needed for the delivery of a preemie." I nodded. I hoped that my healing abilities would be able to help if necessary but I was just as concerned as Carlisle was I wanted the baby to be born healthy and not need my help.

"Okay," I sighed.

"Everything will be just fine," Carlisle comforted me and placed his hand on my shoulder before leaving. Jasper however stayed planted by the door.

"Stop staring at me like I'm an experiment!" I glared at him and he laughed.

"Leah, can I have a word?" I looked down at Sam.

"Sure, if you don't mind talking in front of the nitwit mutt on the floor." Jasper looked down at Sam with disgust.

"Don't worry I have a feeling he will be very sleepy in a matter of seconds." By the time Jasper made his way to my bed Sam was passed out. Jasper paused and seemed uncomfortable about something.

"What's on your mind Emo?" I said raising to my elbows.

"I separated from Alice," he spit out without looking at me.

"What! Why?" I was alarmed.

"I didn't like her new attitude and take on things. I still fear for your life Leah." He spoke and I was immediately confused.

"I don't understand didn't she kill Bella? Why would she still be angry with me?"

"She still feels that it's all your fault. That if you didn't exist Bella and Edward would have been happy and her marriage wouldn't have been in jeopardy. She doesn't want any harm to come to your child because she considers him family but after the baby is born . . . she just holds so much rage where you are concerned. You are not safe." I was beginning to feel uneasy and Jasper quickly calmed my nerves. "I don't mean to send you into a panic. The reason I separated from her was because I didn't like the way she was thinking or feeling. I told her to correct both things or I didn't see how we could live together anymore. It seems to be working but I can't be sure, only time will tell." I nodded taking everything in.

"Thanks for telling me." I was saddened by the news. I had really thought that Alice was started to accept me.

"No problem and don't worry we all have an eye on her." He went to leave and then paused, "oh did you want me to wake him so you have company?"

"No you could let him sleep for the rest of the week for all I care!" We both laughed and he exited the room. "All that I'm missing is a bat then I could really wail on your ass!" I said to the unconscious Sam Uley.

* * *

After a couple more hours of staring at the ceiling the kid peaked around the corner. Thankfully she was completely healed within two days. She still moved a little stiff but I was glad that no scars were left on her. "Hey," she whispered.

"Hey kid, why are you all the way over there? Are you scared of me or something?" I teased she made her way past Sam making sure not to touch him. She laid in the bed with me.

"How are you feeling Leah?" She said putting her hand on my forehead.

"I feel fine . . . sometimes I'd go as far as to say I feel great but Carlisle and your dad want to make sure that I am still for Masen." She looked down at my belly and nodded.

"Yeah I don't want him to suffer," she agreed.

"Me either," I smiled at her. She sighed and repositioned her head onto my chest. She hummed while she rubbed my stomach the action was so sweet that I found myself taken back. Although, it was extremely sunny outside a light shower now fell on Forks. Ness looked at the window and then back at me.

"Did I do something wrong?" She looked confused.

"Yeah, you're screwing with a pregnant woman's emotions!" We both laughed.

"Oh, yeah dad said that you were full of mush lately. I personally think mush is easy to cuddle." She laughed again. Then I felt stupid for not noticing before, Edward was MIA this morning.

"Oh really where's your father so that I can tell him about his mush theory!" The child snapped up and looked at me like she had said too much.

"He's uh . . . I uh . . . don't know where my father is?" I frowned at her. "Look, I can't tell you okay!"

"He's not planning anything stupid is he?" I asked racking my brain what could he possibly plan? I'm pretty much bed ridden until this baby is born. Masen kicked as if he knew I was thinking about him.

"Would be so horrible if he was? I mean he is you fiancé afterall!" Ness giggled.

"Yeah, it would be horrible especially if I had to lay here and witness it," Sam said letting us both know he was awake.

"Jasper could always knock you back out. I like you better when you're unconscious." I laughed at my own statement and he murmured bitch under his breath. If that was the only negative thing he could say about me then I was happy. I was so determined not to be a bitch and treat everyone with kindness. I didn't realize that just because I'm a bitch it doesn't mean I can't treat people with respect. My definition of a bitch is a woman that takes no nonsense off of anyone, will stand up for herself, and kicks ass when necessary. By my definition it was a good thing and I hoped that Ness would one day have a little bitch about her.

"Nessie, I didn't mean to . . . you know that right?" He said trying to make peace with the kid. She frowned at him.

"I know you weren't aiming at me. Aiming at Embry was no better he didn't do anything to you. You had no reason to attack either of us!" She said getting up to leave the room. It was obvious she still didn't want anything to do with him. "I'll talk to you later mom." I laughed to myself once she left the room. Sam got told off by a little girl and she was one hundred percent right. So what, if Embry defended me, he was my friend and just because he sided with me doesn't give Sam a right to try and end his life. Thankfully Embry, Ness, and Jacob had all healed and Sam probably would have healed himself by now if I had only broken his bones and not crushed them.

I smoothed the fabric over my stomach and repositioned again. I hated sitting still. I was meant to be active. I wanted to go find Edward. I was sure that I could move and be careful at the same time, as long as Sam was out of commission there was no one that would make me mad enough to phase. I sat upright, with my back against the wall, and my feet dangling off the bed. At least that made me feel like I had the option to get up. Maybe I should lie and say I have to go to the bathroom just to stretch my legs. Just as I was about to put my plan in action Taima came in.

"What are you doing?" She said repositioning me back into the bed and I groaned. "Your Edward would've had a fit if he had seen what you were doing!" I rolled my eyes Cullen doesn't have powers over me like that, granted I loved when he was happy but I do what I want.

"I need to pee!" I said shifting my weight back to the end of the bed. Jacob helped me up.

"No you don't . . . you probably just need to stretch." He laughed.

"Can't it be a little of both?" I smiled devilishly.

"I'll walk with you to make sure you don't get lost." He said looping his arm in mine.

"So Jake, you and Taima?" I said cutting to the chase. I was more familiar with Jake and I wanted answers quickly. We were standing in front of the bathroom and he opened the door for me.

"Don't you have to pee?" He smirked.

"I'm standing here until I get answers!" I countered.

"Go pee then I'll tell you!" I rolled my eyes and went into the bathroom. "Don't you go anywhere Black because then I'll have to find you and Cullen won't like me wandering all over the place searching for you. I quickly exited the bathroom and found him sitting in the hall. Normally, I would have copied his action but the stomach didn't allow for such normal acts.

"I think I . . . I have feelings for her. It's hard to tell with the imprint. I mean I know I care about Ness but I don't think that care and concern will ever grow into more than what it is, but I can't be sure. I would hate to get into a relationship with Taima only to leave her in a couple of years for Ness. I feel like I'm leading her on." He sounded guilty.

"I don't know what to tell ya Black. Ness seems like she hooked on Embry but that could be a little girl crush. You could still be the man of her dreams only time will tell. I know that Taima seems very protective over you." He nodded.

"She said she's falling in love with me . . . and I want to _be_ with her so badly at times. I just don't want to hurt her." I hated to see the pain in Jacob's face. I leaned down a little and placed my head on his forehead. He looked at me like I was crazy but I felt bad for him and it was the easiest part of him to touch.

"Everything will be alright. Fate has its own way of sorting everything out." He sighed and stood up.

"Oh thank you dear deity for your words of wisdom," he said sarcastically.

"That's that last time I'm nice to you alpha!" I nudged him and Masen nudge me and caused me to double over.

"Okay, stretch time is over," he said ushering me back into the bed quickly. When we got back into the room Edward was sitting where I should've been lying.

"Where have you been all day?" I said smiling at him. I knew he wasn't happy with me being up but I wasn't happy with him leaving without letting me know where he was going.

"Why are you out of bed?" He countered.

"I can't pee in the bed Cullen!" I smirked and he did too whether he wanted to or not. Masen kicked me again. Why was he feeling so active today?

"He's cramped and frustrated he wants out," Edward looked at my stomach with a concerned expression. "Rotate and come out the human way do NOT hurt your mother!" He reprimanded my enormous tummy.

"He hears me, he is the equivalent of an eight month baby . . . his hearing works fine and he comprehends well beyond his years . . . or eight months." He said without looking at me. "Stop kicking your mother!" I laughed again then I felt this weird sensation.

"What the hell?" I looked down and looked at my skin moving.

"He's trying to position himself," we both looked at my stomach in amazement. Sam even lifted to the best of his ability to see.

"Umm, there's only one problem boys . . . I have to have contractions. He's not going to just force himself out of me.

"The baby's movement has a lot to do with the woman's contractions at the rate Masen is moving he will be born tonight." He said with a smile on his face, "I'm going to call Carlisle and let him know I'm stopping the medication."

All of a sudden I got nervous. It was possible within a matter of hours I'd be a mother. My nervousness quickly turned into sadness. I wanted to do right by Masen. I wanted Cullen and I to be married first. I also wanted things to be remedied between my mother and me but that didn't seem like it was going to happen. I sighed and laid back and relaxed while I could because somehow I had a feeling it was going to be a long night.

* * *

_Author's Note: I hope this wasn't horrible. Again, I'm sorry for leaving the story in such a weird place but very exciting about the Masen being born. Hopefully I will have the next chapter up by next week. As always read and review no flames. Oh and remember I'm grammatically challenged. _


	28. Chapter 28

Chapter 28

Sweat that's all I'm covered in. Masen was relentless just like his mother, apparently he wanted to be born like yesterday. I went from feeling completely normal and having no pain to five centimeters dilated in a matter of an hour and I was constantly contracting. "I HATEYOU!" I hissed at my fiancé who now sat at the foot on my bed while I twisted and turned in pain.

"That was an extremely stereotypical thing for you to say," he turned to me and handed me the cup of ice he was holding. "I thought you Deities were supposed to be strong?" He teased me as he moved my hair out of my face.

"Apparently neither of them I have given birth to a half vampire who is viciously moving through the birth canal!" I groaned out my complaint as I held my stomach. "Shit!" I whined and held my stomach wishing the pain would stop. I was a little disappointed in the order of which this was going. I had messed up royally by my son. I had wanted to be married before his arrival. I winced once more.

"About that," Edward left the room and came back, "I went and had these pulled." He handed me the some papers and I couldn't focus on them long enough to read them.

"It's our marriage certificate. All I need is your signature and a witness," Carlisle waved at us he stood by the door.

"Gag me!" Sam grunted from the floor. Edward gave him a look that I wished to God I could have photograph.

"One moment," he kissed me on the cheek as he exited the room once more. This time he returned with Emmett.

"Where do you want me to put him?" They talked about Sam as if he couldn't hear them.

"Anywhere but here his presence is ruining this for the both of us. More importantly I don't want _his_ voice to be one the first my son hears." Emmett nodded and dragged Sam out of the room by his feet. Of course, Emmett could've easily lifted him but this way was much more entertaining to me. As I laughed Cullen returned to my side. "I thought you'd fine that amusing." He smirked.

"Good job Cullen, I may keep you after all," I groaned again and this time a pop and a gush of fluid exited me.

"It's almost time! I'm going to grab everyone." He went to leave and I held him in place. He was moving around too much. I think it was his nerves but his movement was slightly aggravating.

"I want to sign the papers dummy!" I laughed and he handed me a pen I sat upright to the best of my ability and wrote Leah Clearwater on the paper, as I surrendered my old name and became Leah Cullen, I felt overwhelmed with happiness … which was then replaced with overwhelming pain.

"Alright Mrs. Cullen are you ready to have this baby?" Carlisle said excitedly as he examined me.

"I'm ready for the pain to be over!" I clenched my teeth in an attempt not to yell out. It wasn't until then that I realized I now had an audience. Jacob, Taima, and Seth had now entered the room. Embry was at the doorframe holding a camcorder, because I totally wanted me looking this horrible to be video tapped. Becca was beside him with her hands clenched in excitement. The main person I was hoping to see wasn't there. A tear ran down my face as I began to push involuntarily.

"Don't worry my love she's in the other room, so are Emily, Rose, and the others. Rose can't handle the blood. I didn't want Ness in here I wasn't sure she'd be able to control herself either." I nodded even though I really didn't care about anyone anymore.

"I can see the head Leah, don't worry it's almost over," Carlisle said as he tried to calm me, "you can do it don't you want to see your son?" I nodded as I kept my jaw clenched and pushed once more as hard as I could. I felt as his head broke free followed by the rest of him. I gasped and then began to sob. During my hysterics I realized that I didn't hear him. He was a baby weren't babies supposed to cry once they were born?

"Carlisle, is he alright?" He gave no response I struggled rise to my elbows so I could look at him. He stared at the baby. "Carlisle?" I felt like my heart had stopped what was wrong with my baby.

"Oh, sorry Leah, nothing's wrong he's just so … beautiful." Edward assisted me to a sitting position so that I could hold my baby for the first time. I looked into his green hazel eyes as he stared back at me. He looked so peaceful, it were almost as if he had a smile on his face.

"Hello Masen," more tears but I didn't care. His tiny little face reminded me so much of his father. I gently touched his little cheek and he cooed a little.

"He said hello mommy," Edward said in a baby voice and I rolled my eyes. "I'm serious … also, I think he can … he may be reading your mind a little bit."

"Really," I yawned which was weird I thought I wasn't supposed to be able to get tired but I most definitely felt winded.

"Yeah, I was trying to read his thoughts but they were so mixed with yours. I can only assume that's what was happening." I could hear the smile in Cullen's voice as he delivered the news.

"Great now my mind will constantly be under surveillance!" I said cooing at the baby.

"Trust me that was already happening?" Edward laughed and then extended his hand to the baby and Masen took it. "Highly intelligent," Edward whispered and we both smiled at each other embracing this moment with our first child. Then it hit me like a ton of bricks a very important person was missing.

"Can someone go get Ness?" I asked without going to see who went. Within seconds my daughter at my standing at my side. She seemed a little hesitant about approaching the baby. "Hey kid, look at your brother!"

She stared down at the little bundle in my arms. She smiled but I could see the sadness in her. "Hey, Masen," she toyed with his little fingers and his continued to make his little baby noises.

"He doesn't replace you, you know that right? He only adds to the family unit that we have. He's going to need you kid so you better be ready." I yawned again. She smiled at me and hugged me.

"Can I hold him?" I nodded.

"Let Carlisle clean him up some and then you'll be the first." I said handing the baby back to Carlisle. After Ness the majority of the family had made their way into the room to play pass the baby. The last person I remembered seeing with the baby was Becca before everything went black.

* * *

"_Congratulations," a familiar calming voice said to me as she approached me. Araina sat beside me in the grass. I was very confused. I sincerely hoped I wasn't dead, especially now that it seemed like everything was falling into place in my life. "You're not dead by the way. You've actually done something that none of the other elements have." _

"_Oh really what is that? Sleep?" I laughed. _

"_Yeah, that and you've give birth to a child and created what would be considered a half God. It should be interesting to watch him grow up battling the two immortal forces inside him." Araina mused. "The God in him will not fall victim to any weaknesses. He will be the first 'vampire' completely absolved from the pains of thirst. He will be stronger, faster, and extremely skilled." _

"_Has there ever been a male of our kind?" I was just curious I thought that they said there had only been three. _

"_No, that's why he's so interesting. He gave you the gift of slumber which is something you should be grateful for since your husband now shares that ability." I nodded it would be amazing for Cullen and me to fall asleep in each other's arms. _

"_That's great … as interesting is this all is …," I didn't know how to tell her nicely that I wanted to wake the hell back up. _

"_You want to be with your son. Trust me I understand." She smiled at me, "goodbye daughter." _

* * *

When I awakened, night had fallen and my husband was sleeping by my side. I studied his sleeping face it was rare that I could gaze at him admiring his beauty without his laughing at me. I ran my fingers across the side of his face and kissed his cheek before exiting the bed to see the new man in my life. I found Masen cooing in Rosalie's arms. She hummed and filled his little ears with baby talk. I sat beside her on the couch and I could tell she was a little shot down by my presence. I think she expected me to take Masen right away but I was fine with him being in her arms. I trusted Rosalie with Masen probably more than I trusted most of my family members. I just rubbed his little face and he seemed absolutely comfortable.

"You love your Aunt Rosalie don't you?" I said rested on the couch. She smiled down at the baby. "She's going to make a great guardian for you."

"Leah, you know you don't have to do that." She warned, I think she thought my decision was based on pity but I would never award somebody that honor if I didn't not only trust them or more importantly like them.

"I know, but the kid likes you, and so do I. Plus, you're the only one in this crazy family that reminds me of myself and I trust you'd raise him the way I'd want him to be raised. She nodded in agreement.

"Poor Edward, while you were asleep he had to deal with all the crazy people passing the baby. He put it to a stop when your mother tried to hold the baby. He told her that she was not going to touch her grandson until she makes things with you." I laughed heartily.

"Oh Cullen, gotta love him!" I sighed as calmed my laughter.

"Yeah, he's really loyal to you he wouldn't let Emily touch this little guy either!" She bounced Masen a little and he giggled. "I think he understands us."

"He probably does," we both chuckled.

"So where's your new hubby anyway?" Rosalie wondered, "I figured he'd be quick on your heals. I was actually surprised when he left me alone with the baby."

"He's in Jake's room … catching his breath," I lied he was passed out but I knew he didn't want me to tell anyone yet of his new human characteristics even though I really wanted to heal Rosalie. Part of me wondered if her taking in my blood would give her the opportunity to experience being a mother. Just the thought of it made me realize that I was going to have to find a way to help her.

"Hey," Edward groggily made his way over to me and kissed me on the lips briefly then reached for Masen.

"God, Edward you're so mean! Leah didn't take the baby from me and she gave birth to him." Rose rolled her eyes and relinquished the baby.

"That's because she's held him for months. Now it's my turn." He smiled at the baby. "He wanted me to tell you that he does understand you and that he loves you Rosalie and he wants …." Edward frowned, "he wants everyone to be happy." The baby started to fuss and whine. Something wasn't right it was the way he was fidgeting like he was objecting to something.

"Is he okay?" I said rubbing the back.

"Yeah, he's just … hungry," Edward said taking him into the kitchen. I was quick his heals I hadn't been around babies much in my life but they tended to give more of a warning than Masen just did. Edward opened the fridge and I noticed the made up bottles, he really had been busy while I was sleeping.

"Cullen, what's the deal?" He pretended to be confused.

"You're hiding something," I glared at him demanding an explanation.

"I don't want you doing anything stupid Leah! I promise I will help you find a way to help Rosalie but now is not the time! I want you completely healed and our marriage and our family established first. Do you understand?" I knit my brows, he talked to me as if I was a child that wasn't going to fly. "Look, I'm sorry I just don't want you hurt."

"You forget what I am!"

"No, I know exactly what you are and what she is … just wait Leah for me, and for Masen." Masen continued to whine and those little eyes pierced through me. I had a feeling that I would be the mercy of this child for a long time, between him and Ness no I thought would ever be my own again. I sighed and took in the worried expression on Cullen's face.

"I would never do anything that risk me leaving you or our children. I love you Edward." I pulled him towards me and kissed him lovingly. We were only interrupted by the playful coo that came from our son between us. This was one of those moments that my father told me to cherish one of those mental pictures that I would keep for the rest of my life.

* * *

_Author's Note: Okay, this one I think is a little longer! Hopefully it's a bit better than the last. I really enjoyed writing it so I really hope you enjoy reading it. As always please read and review and no flames. _


	29. Chapter 29

Chapter 29

It's been two weeks since I dropped the load, and I do mean load. He is most definitely a lot to handle even though he's only two weeks old he looks like he's about two or three months old. By the end of today day he could look like he's six months old, that's how rapid his changes are. He's a handsome little devil he is most definitely gonna break some hearts all the curly dark hair and the way his eyes change from green to hazel.

Edward isn't as mystified by his rapid growth as I am, he said that Ness went through the same thing. He promised me the progression would slow down, he'd better not be lying because at this rate I feel cheated each time I blink, I'm afraid I'll miss something new. "AH!" Masen whined, he was on the changing table this was the one time he was difficult. He absolutely hated getting his diaper changed, he hated going to the bathroom in general every time him peed or pooped he put on this disgusted face that was so adorable and ridiculous that I couldn't help but laugh at him.

"I know buddy but it sucks for me too, I don't really like smelling you stinky stuff, but I promise to get you clean quick," I cooed and his little bottom lip started to quiver. "Don't you cry! Please surprise mommy by not crying!" I said as unfastened his jumper. That's when the hell broke loose as expected this was becoming routine, "I know, I know, you hate me." I hummed while I got him situated and changed his outfit all together. He had so many that I changed him like three times a day sometimes it was actually necessary because he'd grown so much throughout the course of the day. "What should we do now?" I asked my curly haired son who was now babbling and much more content. "Find daddy and ask why he didn't change you?" I picked him up and answered for him. "I think that's a great idea!" We both laughed as soon as I turned around to leave the room I saw my mother at the doorframe staring back at me. I immediately wanted to turn back around I shifted Masen closer to me, he was wiggling a lot I guess he could feel my tension.

"You and your husband rushed off the reservation so fast after you delivered I didn't get a chance to talk to you," she said inching her way into the room with me. She was right we left Billy Black's house the morning after Masen was born. I couldn't get away from Sam Emily, and all the bad memories quick enough. Yet they followed me here in the form of my mother, I knew what her angle was. She was a sucker for a baby no matter what its bloodline, she wanted to hold him.

"How'd you get in?" I questioned without looking at her I walked across the bedroom and sat in the rocking chair. I tried to calm myself for Masen's sake and for the weather; it had actually been beautiful outside ever since Masen was born. Actually it was too beautiful Edward skin still couldn't handle the sky being cloudless so he and all of his family have been trapped inside. Rosalie and the others had been making night visits to the apartment to play with the baby and visit; Emmett asked me each night to be a little less happy. However Masen, Ness, and I loved the sun and had taken a couple of trips outside just to run around a play. I video tapped the outings so I could share them with Edward but he seemed to enjoy them but he was probably a little jealous he couldn't participate.

"Ness, let me in I hope that's okay," my mom finally muttered reminding me that she was in the room. As soon as her name was mentioned I saw her peep around the corner. She looked at me as if she had done something wrong.

"Kid, come take your brother for me okay?" She nodded and smiled. She looked older too or maybe it was the way she was carrying herself now that her brother was born she has most definitely been a big helper. The kid could make Masen laugh harder than anybody. One time I swear he choked on his spit.

"Hey booger!" She said in her baby voice and lifted him from my arms. She started talking to him about the toys they were going to play with and left me to handle business.

"Say what you need to say mom," I sighed and finally looked up at her. I bet she was really pissed the baby wasn't in the room anymore.

"I love you Leah, you know that," her voice actually cracked when she delivered her bull I forgot what a drama queen my mother was. I scoffed and rolled my eyes at her bull shit. I really wanted her to leave.

"It's true Leah! I just don't understand the decision that you've made in life. I'm your mother of course I love you … I wished you hadn't done something of the things that you've done in your life but I know that it's your life and I respect all the decisions you've made." She breathed deeply and went to grab my hand.

"So why are you saying all of this right now?" I placed my finger on my chin like I was really giving it some thought. "Mom, I'm not stupid you want to see Masen. I know what Edward said … but I disagree with him. I think you should see your grandson but I'm not doing it for you I'm doing it for him. He deserves to know you even if you don't deserve to know him." I turned away from her and looked out the window and see the clouds forming. I guess Emmett can go outside now. I tried to find humor in the situation but dealing with my mother was just really sad.

"How can you talk to me and be so cold?" She whimpered and I whipped around to fully take in her disposition.

"You can't be serious! Ever since daddy died and Sam imprinted on Emily, I became a memory in your mind and Emily became your daughter. She's the one you're throwing the baby shower for! You didn't even show me the kindness of pretending to be happy for me when I told I was having your grandchild! You didn't even offer to share the damned baby shower with me! Hell I probably wasn't even invited!" Now there was the rain and thunder. I wiped my tears away and turned from her to get my emotions in check. "You can say hi to Masen and then leave." I said coldly. "We are done."

"Leah," she begged. This time she did manage to sob a little. "I'm sorry you felt that way. Why didn't you tell me that's how you felt? I never meant to replace you. I just felt … I can't make up for it. I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Whatever," I whispered. "Just leave." I could smell Edward's scent. If I knew my new hubby, which I definitely did, he was probably listening to the whole conversation but didn't enter the room to allow us to have this moment to resolve our issues. What my poor leechy lover did not understand was that my mother and I are beyond healing. If she wouldn't except him and our life then I wouldn't except her. I heard her footsteps as she walked towards the door.

"I did bring the baby a gift. May I give it to him?" I nodded because I didn't want to afford her anymore words.

"Okay, bye," she whispered and then left the room. I heard her in the other room as she asked Ness could she hold my child. I couldn't bring myself to witness the act. I was trying to do the mature thing for my son but what I really wanted to do was kick my mother out of my house.

"I could be immature if you wish?" Cullen wrapped his arms around me from behind. "I could tell her that you were wrong to go against my wishes, you were wrong by the way, and that I don't want her around my son."

"He should know his grandmother," I said bluntly it was the best truth I could offer.

"She should respect her daughter." He countered and kissed my shoulder.

"Yeah, part of me thinks she means well though," I grumbled half heartedly.

"I don't care about her intentions. I do about how she treats you and how it makes you feel." I turned to him and hugged him.

"God Cullen, sometimes I think you're the only one that does." I murmured into his chest and he laughed as he rubbed my back. He kissed the top of my head.

"Yeah, remember that whenever you get the urge to rip me a new one!" He teased as he ran his fingers through my hair.

"I'm serious Edward," I looked at him, "I really do appreciate how protective you are even if sometimes it is a bit unnecessary." I sighed and then rolled my eyes knowing that he was going to make a big deal about this.

"Hmph," he smirked and ran his finger under the bottom of my shirt, "I can think of some ways you can show me how much you appreciate me." He crooned as he lowered his lips to my neck and kissed it and sucked my sensitive area.

"Cullen," I groaned, "my mom is still here." I wrapped my arms around his neck regardless.

"Do you know how long it's been since I've had you?" His hands were now playing under my shirt; my breathing was starting to change. It wasn't fair for him to get me excited when we couldn't do anything.

"About a month … no longer than a month though." I panted and he smirked and kissed me.

"Two weeks and five days," He groaned and began to unbutton my pants. He wasn't thinking logically the door wasn't even closed. I didn't know vampires go stupid when they are sex deprived.

"You shouldn't," I put my hand over his to stop him, "but later I'm going to ride you so hard your eyes are going to roll into the back of your head." I said and the brushed against him before heading toward the door.

"Promises, promises," he whispered, "I'll have to be sure to ask Masen to go to sleep quickly."

"Yeah, mommy and daddy need some happy time!" We both laughed and then went to check on Ness. Just as we exited the bedroom the main door closed thankfully my mom had made her exit and with all of my favorite people now together the day bound to get brighter.

* * *

_Author's Note: Short I know. Sorry but I wanted some happy filler. We have a couple of situations to handle in the next chapter. I wonder if anyone can guess what they are? This is a little hot off the press, if it is really rough please tell me NICELY in the review. As always please read and review … no flames!_


	30. Chapter 30

Chapter 30

Night fell, and Edward had executed his plan perfectly. He played with Ness and Masen until their little eyes couldn't stay open anymore. I found his determination sexy and hilarious at the same time. I sat with my feet up on the couch in the living room reading, while my undead hubby put our son and daughter to bed. "I don't think we should cloth him while he sleeps. We both know when he wakes up he's going to look two months older." We both laughed.

"You're right the tightness of his clothes could cut off his circulation. At the rate he's going I might have to go shopping for some toddler clothing tomorrow." I commented as Edward sat beside me. "I'll take Ness with me and we can have some time just the two of us. At first she seemed a little funky about the baby, I know she loves him but she may want some individual time from both of us."

"Look, who's been reading parental books!" Cullen teased as he scooted closer to me and placed my feet in his lap.

"Shut up!" I grumbled, "I just don't want to make any mistakes. I want both of them to know I tried my very best to be the best mom to them." I explained placing my book on the coffee table.

"I'm pretty sure both children know how much you love them." He rubbed my legs from my ankles up my thighs. "I'm not sure you love me though."

"Oh really?" I played along. "So all the things I went through to be with you mean nothing!" I laughed.

"No, you wanted my children I was simply an afterthought." He pretended to be upset and offended. "You just wanted my baby making juices." He spoke with expression on his face and then we both laughed.

"Damn it Cullen, you've figured me out," I teased as I pulled myself into his lap, "I want some of your baby making juices right now." I kissed his neck allow my tongue to linger on some of his favorite spots.

"See I told you," he breathed, "I'm a victim! I'm being used and molested." His hands grabbed my waist and I began to grind on him. Then his hands found their way underneath my shirt and my heart began to race.

"Yeah, and I plan to use you right now!" I giggled as I pulled my shirt off and started unbuttoning his.

"Oh, the torture," he said sarcastically. After I took off his shirt he maneuvered himself so that he could lie down on the couch. Just as I reached back to unclasp my bra we hear an angry knock on the door.

"Damn it!" I yelled as I hopped off my erect hubby, who was so angry he was beyond words. "Who is it?" I whispered to him as I quickly put my shirt back on.

"Your family," he hissed, "I'll be in the back handling this." He seemed annoyed as he grabbed his shirt from off the floor.

"Hey," I stepped in front on him and wrapped my arms around his neck, "the night is still young. I still plan to have you." He grabbed my ass and pushed me past the door.

"We could let them stand out there," he kissed my neck; "they could linger out there for an hour or two." He chuckled against my neck as he continued to push towards the bedroom.

"As much as I want to diss them it may be important." I reluctantly pulled away from him. "Wait for me in the bedroom so I can use you properly." I slapped him on the ass before answering the door.

I opened the door to find Rebecca, Taima, and Emily staring back at me. Emily was holding one of the pink fluffy invitations and she shoved it at me. "Here's you invite now can you stop treating YOUR mother like a second class citizen?" She snapped at me. I looked at the other two asking for clarification. What the hell did my cousin hope to gain by coming to my home and yelling in my face?

"I just want to say that I told her not to come here," Rebecca said, "the only reason I'm here is to remind you that she's pregnant and that you wouldn't want to kill a pregnant person."

"And why are you here?" I asked Taima, not angrily I was just curious.

"I'm the only one that could probably stop you if you decided that you wanted to attack your cousin for being an imbecile." She sighed, "And that's exactly what she's being."

"No, she's being an invasive ass," I took the invite being shoved at my face, "come in." I demanded against my better judgment. Emily stepped across the threshold and entered my apartment. This was the first time she had been inside I could see the envy in her eyes. She looked at the toys spread across the floor and the happy pictures of all four of us.

"Please explain to me why you didn't accept your mother's apology. I think it's stupid for you to ask her to do such a thing in the first place." Emily grumbled as she smoothed the fabric over her bump. My first instinct told me to tell her that this was none of her damned business and to get the fuck out of my face … but since I was a mother now I wanted to set a good example so like a good person I decided to explain myself.

"It's not about being invited to your damned baby shower," I started, "if I hadn't had Masen my mother wouldn't want to be in my life right now. In all honesty, she doesn't want me in her life she only wants Masen, and I'm worried that won't last. He won't be a cute little baby forever. Why should I accept her fake love and sympathy? If she wants a daughter she has one … in you. I really don't consider her my mother anymore the only thing that binds us is blood."

"Please Leah! I'm getting tired of this victim routine you're playing. Of course your mother would be unnerved by your behavior! You're in love with a vampire for crying out loud!" She chided and Taima looked outside. It was funny I had begun to do that too, whenever something pissed me off I would look outside to see how far I was from being irate.

"Emily, cool it! Leah's being nice enough to explain the shit stop trying to push her buttons!" Rebecca warned. "If that's the case we should all be unnerved by what Sam and you did but we understood the situation. Why can't you understand hers?"

"I just think she's being foolish!" She shook her head demeaning my thoughts.

"You should just come to my baby shower, make up with your mother, and put our family back together!" She commanded now standing with hands on hips.

"If I come to your shower it would only be to support the relative growing in your womb but right now you're making angry. You've interrupted a peaceful night with my family for this shit!" I breathed and calmed myself. "I was emotionally abandoned by my mother because she didn't like the decisions I'd made. While I was gone I thought about her everyday and even wrote her letters of my experiences. I NEVER abandoned her! I moved on and fell in love again after what YOU did and what happened in the past you should be grateful that I have moved on no matter who it is with." Thunder clapped I was pissed off and determined to get my point across. "By the way Edward Cullen is one of the best men on this planet! I should thank Carlisle for changing him so that I could meet him and fall as deeply in love with him as I have … and I DO LOVE HIM and I could give a rat's ass what anybody does or thinks in regards to that! So go home and tell your Auntie and your hubby that! I'm not stupid she's not going to weasel into my life just because of the baby, again, I will not deny her access to him but I have no words for her."

"Stubborn as usual," Emily looked down and shook her head like she was disappointed in me. "I've done my part. I just hope you can put your pride aside and do what's right." She got up and to leave and Rebecca stayed seated.

"I need a moment with Leah. Can you wait for me in the car?" Rebecca asked and Emily nodded. Once the door closed Rebecca turned her focus back to me.

"I'm so sorry honey," she hugged me, "I told her not to come. Hell, I told her and your mother both to leave you alone and let you have this time to be happy. It seems nobody listens to me." Becca laughed nervously.

"Don't worry Becca," I sighed, "I'm a little pissed but I'm cool. The one thing they are right about is that the situation needs to be handled. I need to think of a way to get the point across that this is my life and it's up to them whether they were a part of it." I shrugged I stood up. I ready to ask them to leave so that I could get back to Edward but I didn't want to sound rude because they were here to support me and I appreciated that.

"Well I want to be included," Becca got up and hugged.

"As do I," Taima added, "however, it's late and I bet you have other things to do." She smiled knowingly.

"Yeah, I hate to rush you off but I would love for you two to get lost." I teased and they both laughed. I opened the door for them. "Send Jacob, Seth, and the rest my love."

"We will, Goodnight Leah," Taima hugged me briefly.

"Yeah, have a _real_ good night!" Becca winked as I shoved her out the door. She was so nasty but I loved her.

* * *

Now it was time to get on to other business, meaning it was time to make my ice cold hubby scream my name. I skipped to the bed room only to find him passed out with his stupid warming lotion on the night stand.

"Seems like I'm going to have to get rid of you!" I complained to the bottle. I went into our bathroom and threw the stuff in the bathroom garbage. I would be the only thing that he used to get rid of his frustrations.

I went back to the bedroom, he was still knocked out. I sighed at the missed opportunity. "What a waste." I grumbled. I straddled him regardless. Hoping that my weight would be enough to wake him, I kissed both of his cheeks, and his eye groggily opened.

"Hey," he said with a sleepy raspy tone. His hands went to my sides.

"Don't hi me!" I hit him playfully, "you cheated on my with your warming lube!" I laughed.

"My intentions were good Leah, I wanted to go out there and assist you in handling your cousin but I couldn't go out there with the situation I had going on." He explained. "Unfortunately after I remedied the situation I conked out. I'm sorry … but I'm sure that I'm still excitable." He moved to a sitting position and was now holding me in his lap. He placed light kisses long my neck and shoulders. "I'm pretty sure you're up for the challenge." He snickered against my skin.

"Most definitely … let's see where were we before the interruption?" I pretended to think, "oh, about here." I said as I took my shirt off and then unclasped my bra.

"Yeah, you have a wonderful memory," his low tone sent a chill down my spine as he removed the straps from shoulders. "You're so beautiful," he said as he laid me on the bed and caressed my breast. He squeezed them gently and moved in a slow circular motion. Everything about him felt so good and so right.

"I love you so much Cullen," I breathed as he lowered his head below my naval.

"You're just saying that because you want me inside of you." He teased, he changed his position and slid two of his finger into my center. "My poor tormented life … this is all you want me for." I giggled and moaned at the same time. "Does it feel good my love?" He whispered in my ear.

"Yeah," I whined at a whisper.

"Would you like me to go faster?" He knew how I loved rough passionate sex, of course I wanted speed.

"I want you inside me," I countered as I collected myself enough to find and molest one of his best features.

"But I would like to play a little longer," he pouted, "I haven't even tasted you yet!" Then the thought of me playing him in my mouth ran through my head. "Or we could do that too!" He smirked as he laid back and allowed me to undo his pants and lower my head to his half aroused cock. I took the tip of my tongue and licked it in its entirety. He tasted so good, sugary sweet like always. I had to devour him. I was rigorous and relentless with my strokes. I used my hands to massage the areas that I couldn't fit into my mouth.

"Leah," his dick pulsated in my mouth I thought he was going to cum and I was all for it. I loved his taste but instead he ripped my panties off and placed me on top of him.

"Shit!" His forceful entry wasn't expected nor was intense thrusts as I bounced on top of him. I loved being on top normally because it made me feel in control but not this time. He fucked me senseless as he squeezed my breasts firmly, towards the end I realized I wasn't breathing and as I came I found myself gasping for air.

"Incredible!" I whispered as I collapsed unto his body and he laughed. "What?"

"Nothing, I feel so violated!" He chuckled harder as he closed his eyes.

"I violated you? Please!" He attacked my womanhood now he wanted to play the victim.

"Yes, I was sleeping here peacefully and you molested me during my slumber!" I shoved him a little and then yawned.

"See smart ass! That's why I murdered you mistress!" I said referring to his lotion.

"That's okay I don't think I'll need that anymore!" We both chuckled and settled into bed and drifted into a peaceful sleep. With all this drama today I had almost thought that maybe I made the wrong decision. Maybe I should have followed the path everyone expected of me but after a night like tonight. I'd be sure to tell them to all go to hell.

* * *

_Author's Note: Hey! I hoped you like this chapter! I can see the ending I'm really excited and I think you will all love it! I was asked if there is another part to this story … the answer is yes… however I haven't mapped enough of it out to be able to tell you when I will start it. I can tell you that I plan to end in a good place no cliffhangers or anything! As always please read and review and no flames. _


	31. Chapter 31

Chapter 31

Against my better judgment I decided to go to Emily's baby shower. I decided to take Ness along so that I wouldn't be completely bored. She and Cullen both thought that I lost my marbles because of my decision. "It's just a few hours. I can give my mother and Emily that much to show them that I'm not bitter towards them. Plus, I gave our whole situation some thought. I was completely happy with my life I wasn't insecure or disappointed with anything. Any negative statements that either of them would spew would be out of jealousy or stupidity.

"We shouldn't give them two seconds," Ness crossed her arms and sat by her father. I arched my eyebrow at her protest.

"Just because you're a little taller doesn't mean that you don't have to listen to me," I countered, "you need to go get dressed." She looked to her father for assistance but he gave her none.

"You should do what your mother says," he looked at her sternly. It still weirded me out when they call me her mother, part of me felt guilty like I took something from Bella.

"You both know this is bull but whatever," she hopped up and went to throw something on. I sat down beside my husband and sighed. I was already dressed. I got dressed as soon as I woke up that morning for fear that if I wasn't already dressed that I would find a reason not to go at all.

"You know I agree with her," he whispered, "you're trying too hard to please them." He picked at the bottom hem of my dress. "Just because you're contented with your life doesn't meant that you have to go out of your way to make them a part of it."

"Correction vampire boy, I'm not contented, I'm happy, and in, you know, the L word." I smirked as I rested my head on his shoulder.

"In lust?" He countered seductively. "Me too!" He inched his fingers up the bottom of my dress.

"Stop! I meant in love." I chided as I slapped his hand away.

"Awww, look who's being mushy two days in a row," he teased and then his face sobered, "I do feel that you should stay here." He commented. "Seriously Cullen I'm okay to go." Ness came back into the living room dressed in the outfit the Rosalie had picked out for her. I was right she had grown she was quickly turning into a little teenager. Meaning that the next time we all went shopping we were going to have to pick up some bras for the kid. Edward groaned at my thought.

"Do I look okay?" She said examining herself. "The dress does fit right it's a little tight." She fidgeted.

"It doesn't look tight," I commented, "however, it is time for another shopping trip … but first," I said as I turned her toward the door.

"Yeah, yeah to this baby shower," she cringed with dread in her voice. "Last chance to help dad." She whined.

"Bye, ladies have a good time." He said holding the door open. "Masen and I will be thinking of you!"

* * *

Ness and I made our way into my mother's house. We both spotted the dessert table first. Since nobody was really in the living room we made our way over to the brownies. "We should take half the plate. I'm sure she has more in the back!" Ness whispered excitedly.

"Shhh!" I giggled with her. "We'll take two each! We have to be fair to the others." We both took a bite of our new chocolately acquisitions and moaned at their deliciousness. If there was one thing that my mother knew how to do well, it was cook.

"God mom, why can't you cook this way?" Ness nudged me playfully and we went and sat down on the couch.

"I'll work on it," I uttered and I smoothed her hair behind her ear. We heard the other guests in the back but I wasn't ready to go out to the backyard yet.

"We're gonna have to go out there eventually," Ness huffed, "unless you want to change your mind. I'm totally down for that!" She giggled.

"Oh no you don't, if we're here you have to be!" Becca commented she was followed by Rose and Taima.

"I told you I smelled her scent," Rose said as she hugged both of us. "We have a table in the back so that we can rag on the other guests. "Come on, it promises to be a little fun!" I allowed her to pull me upright.

"Trust there is a lot to rag on!" Becca laughed.

"Rag on? It means to joke correct?" We all laughed and she frowned.

"Yeah," I wrapped my arm around her, "it means joke!"

We all entered the backyard and it seemed like the whole party froze. Emily being the gracious host she was she waddled over to me a freshly healed Sam was quick on her heals. "I can't believe you had the nerve to show up here!" He growled.

"Please get over yourself Sam … your wife asked me to come," I countered, "trust me we'd be more than happy to leave if we aren't welcome." My tone deepened and was quite somber. I put my arm around Ness and she looked up at me.

"We'll all leave," Becca snapped. I put my arm out asking for her silence.

"It's not necessary to choose sides you all can stay. I don't want to ruin this moment for Emily my goal was to enhance and to prove that after all of this shit I still loved her." I tapped Ness shoulder as I spoke, "However we do have other things we could be doing like we have to go shopping today anyway." We turned to leave but then one of the elders stepped up and intruded in our conversation. Out of all of them she was the least respected, that might not be exactly true, Meg was deemed crazy. She claimed that she could talk to the spirits which was fine but the fact that she walked around doing it wasn't. My mother was quick on her heals making sure she didn't say anything too outlandish and spoil the party for her dear niece.

"Meg wouldn't you be more comfortable sitting at your table?" She commented trying to direct the old woman away.

"Stop fussing around me Sue!" The old woman croaked. "I wanted to meet the daughter of Araina." She stepped up close to me. "It is a pleasure and an honor to be in your presence." She bowed to me which crept me out.

"How do you know I'm her daughter?" I whispered and I saw my mother frown out of the corner of my eye.

"She told me to introduce myself … and to ask you … about my back. It pains me so, I grow weary because of my aches can you please help me?" The old woman went to touch my hand but then she pulled away. "May I touch you?" I had never had anyone ask me before.

"Uhhh," I looked at Taima confused and she just shrugged.

"I don't have healing powers. That was Araina's and obviously now your ability." She commented. I sighed and looked back at the woman.

"We should all sit down." I commented noticing that we were obtaining an audience. Once the woman was seated I placed my hands on her shoulders and I heard the old woman gasp and I heard as the vertebrae of her spine snapped and she now sat upright. I looked at the others sitting at the round table who now looked at me amazed. "How do you feel?"

"Amazing!" She stood up and hugged me. "Bless you Leah!" The woman cried on me. I embraced her and tried to keep myself calm her tears created a sadness in my heart for some reason.

"If only you were here a year ago you could have saved my husband. I love him so … his heart failed him and half my heart died with him. At least I still hear him tell me he loves me daily but it's not the same as seeing him and feeling him." I nodded completely understanding her predicament. When I had to leave because of the affair with Edward, I wanted to see him and feel him … and sometimes I felt like I could still hear him. I pulled away from the woman and placed my hand on her heart.

"I'm sorry for your lost, there are some things that only time can heal but I hope that this helps." She nodded and held my hand in both of hers.

"Can I ask one more thing?" I wiped Meg's tears with my other hand. "Can you please tell of these people I'm not crazy!" We both laughed.

"You most definitely aren't crazy!" I said loud enough for other to hear.

After my weird ordeal with Meg, people started gravitating toward me and asking me to heal their bodies and such. I was starting to get tired of it and Emily was getting jealous with all the attention her guests were now giving me. After putting my hands on another person I really didn't know.

"Maybe I should leave I didn't want to be a spectacle or anything," I grumbled and Ness nodded, "yeah this is getting weird."

"We should all ditch," Becca was quick to include herself in getting out of this celebration.

"Me too," Rose added, "I don't even know why I was invited in the first place!"

"Yes, it is quite odd that they would invite a vampire to their baby shower when they were so against Leah marrying your vampire brother." We all stopped and thought about it, it was quite contradictory.

"They invited Alice too," Rose sighed, "Jasper told her to decline the offer. I guess he assumed that I you would be here and that it would uncomfortable for you. Anyway, I think that the Uley's just wanted an awesome gift!" We all laughed.

"That would make sense," I smirked and stood, "let's find Emily and say goodbye so that we can get out of here."

"Ladies come gather around," my mother cheered, "it's time for games and gifts." We all cringed a little.

"Oh yeah that," I groaned and Ness grabbed my hand. _We could still go_, she thought. "It shouldn't take too long."

I can't believe I lied to the girl this way it had been almost two hours of us playing games and cooing over baby gifts. At least these were antics that I expected. The things I didn't expect were the odd glances in my direction and the whispered that the thought I couldn't hear. I closed my eyes and tried to stop myself from becoming pissed.

"Easy," Taima said as she rubbed my back.

"I know," I whispered I blew outward and a huge gust traveled through the area. Knocking a few of Emily's gifts to the ground and she glared at viciously. She stood and approached me.

"Leah may I talk to you privately," she spoke now in my face. I rolled my eyes she should have know it was an accident.

"No," I smirked, "I know you Emily and you are about to do or say something stupid please entertain your guests and open your gifts and leave me alone." I commented bluntly.

"I just want to know why you are trying to ruin this for me?" She began to tear, "is it just because we didn't have one for Masen?" She was pulling the victim card because she knew that Sam would run to be her hero. He quickly stood by her side.

"We've talked about this before," I stood and reached for Ness' hand, "you told me to come here and make it right with my mom and you. Well, I'm here and … I honestly don't think that there is anything that will change between any of us. It's disappointing to me because I love you both very much. I don't want to ruin your little party." I touched her stomach. "I'm sorry little one I'm not sure we'll ever meet but you are family and I will look after you." I sighed and then looked at my cousin and mother one more time.

"Okay, I think I can let you both go now. I just had to give it one more try," I breathed, "it's been real." Ness and I made our way to Edward's car or our car.

"Leah, Leah wait," I heard my mother running after me, "sweetheart I'm sorry! Okay I'm sorry please don't do this!" She sobbed.

"How can you act this way when you asked her to disappear?" Ness narrowed her eyes and crossed her arms. "Why do you love Emily more that Leah? Leah is awesome!" Ness defended me and no matter how proud I was of her she shouldn't be speaking to my mother that way.

"Ness, get in the car I can handle this," she grumbled something and did as I asked. I saw Rose and the rest making their way to the front yard. I hugged my mother and searched for the feeling or the connection we used to have when I was younger. "Mom, I love you but I cannot be second to my cousin, not when it comes to you." I went to leave and she grabbed my arm.

"What was Meg talking about when she said that you were Araina's daughter?" I sighed and shook my head.

"Mom, I'm your daughter and I'm hers too … I can't explain," I moved away from her, "look I've gotta go." I quickly pulled away from my mom quickly, hopped in the car, and started the engine. I watched as she walked to the back, back to Emily. A couple of raindrops hit the windshield. I backed out of the driveway and onto the road.

"Leah, don't cry," Ness handed me a tissue. I tried my best to silence my small tantrum but it was hard to say goodbye to the woman that had given my life and to choose not to want her involuntary abuse anymore. All of a sudden my phone went off. Ness looked at it. "It's Aunt Rose she said that she and Becca had to take care of something and that they would talk to you later." I nodded.

"Okay kid how about you and I go shopping for a little while and then head home." She nodded.

"Sounds like a plan momma chick!"

* * *

_Author's Note: Okay here's a small chapter I had to spilt it because something big is happening in the next chapter! I wonder if anyone can guess what it is? As always please read and review … no flames! _


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

After taking Ness on a very necessary trip to the mall we returned our apartment. The door was opened before I could even begin to fumble through my purse for keys. My two favorite men stood staring at me and the heavy weight that I was trying to suppress disappeared. "Hey," I breathed. Cullen side stepped so that we could come in.

"Do I even have to ask how things went?" He said as he adjusted our son in his arms.

"Nope, it sucked," my way too blunt daughter said as she plopped onto the couch. Edward handed Masen to her and he immediately started making baby noises.

"He's telling you about his day," Edward explained to her, "he doesn't care that you don't understand." He smirked and so did I.

"So should I pretend that I understand?" She looked up at us sort of confused.

"Just talk to him. He missed you." Edward clarified. "I need to ask Leah something we'll be right back." He grabbed my hand and led me to the bedroom. He pulled the door to and then opened his arms to me. I quickly entered into the embrace he offered and sighed.

"Please stop allowing you mother to hurt you," Edward begged as he rubbed my back. I sighed and wrapped my arms around his waist.

"There was a time when she was a good mom. She raised me to believe that family was important and something to fight for. I just wanted the chance to make things right." My cheek was on his shoulder it wasn't until then that I realized that he was rocking me slowly. "I guess that will never happen."

"Never say never, I mean, I bet you never thought that you'd turn into a wolf and fall in love with a vampire yet here we are." He tilted my chin using his thumb and pointer finger.

"I guess you're right." I huffed he chuckled at my how reluctant I was to acknowledge his insight.

"I'm right about a lot of things. I was right in saying that you shouldn't have gone to the baby shower," I now buried my head into his chest and groaned, "and … I don't how to put this without giving too much away." He mused he had stopped rocking me. I looked up at him to see the look on his face. My husband by far has the cutest thinking face I'd ever seen.

"Thank you … but I just have the cutest face you've ever seen period," he teased and then sobered, "something is going to happen tonight. It's a good thing so I don't want you to fight it."

"What are you talking about Cullen?" I pulled away from and put my hands on my hips. "What do you know?"

"I know that you hate surprises and you're about to get one but it's a good one so don't bitch!" He stepped closer to me and popped me on the nose.

"But I have to it's in my nature." I whined jokingly and he rolled his eyes. He pulled me toward the door so that we could rejoin our children.

"I'm begging you Leah don't make a fuss," he murmured as he pulled his phone out of his pocket on his way out of the door and looked at it. Not two seconds later I hear Ness' phone go off and she began to scream excitedly. I ran into the room to see her bouncing up and down with Masen in her arms. Masen was looking at Ness like she had lost her mind.

"Kid, please don't jostle the baby!" I took him from her so she could jump up and down and clap freely. "Oh my gosh I'm so excited!"

"So go and get ready then," Edward suggested to his daughter whom ran out of the room.

"Okay, so what the hell is going on? I want to know now!" I grumbled frustrated. He smirked and walked into the kitchen. I placed Masen on the floor on his blanket and followed him with intent to bitch. "Cullen, if you don't answer me I swear I will make tonight extremely unpleasant for you." I warned as I leaned against the bar. I normally wasn't one to threaten withholding sex, because I enjoy it so much, but this was pissing me off. I didn't like being the only one in the house that didn't know something. Hell, even Masen knew because he could read minds. I looked over to my son who was now … crawling.

"Oh my God!" I snatched him up and swung him around, "oh my God Masen you're such a good big boy!" He giggled as I held him tightly to me.

"Did you see it Cullen?" I asked in amazement.

"Yeah, I saw it earlier today too!" He smiled and my excitement was stifled. I was mad that I spent most of my day in hell with my mother and Edward witnessed one of our baby's firsts alone.

"Don't be angry. It's still an amazing accomplishment for such a young baby!" He gently rubbed his son's cheek. "I'm very proud!" He directed his statement to Masen. As we all traveled into the living room there was a knock at the door.

"I'll get it! I'll get it!" Ness made a beeline dash from her room to the front door. "Hey! I'm ready!" She rushed past the female visitors at the door, which made absolutely no sense to me.

"KID, WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?" I yelled I went to move past them and grab my child but Taima and Rose blocked me.

"She's going to the same place you are," Rose said bluntly, "give your husband the baby and exit peacefully." She tried to hold a straight face but smirked a little.

"Like hell, I'm just getting home there's no way you will convince me to go back out again. Besides, I already missed Masen crawling for the first time I won't miss anymore firsts." I had just begun to bitch at my friends but before I could really dig into my assault I felt two cold hands on my shoulders.

"This is the thing I was talking about," he whispered, "just go with it. I promise you will be very happy later." I rubbed my shoulders in a sorry attempt to comfort me. I sighed deeply and then looked at my son who I had barely seen today.

"This better be some hell of a surprise." I grumbled as I passed the baby to Cullen he smiled at me knowingly.

"Tell momma we'll see her very soon!" He waved Masen's arm and Masen cooed in my direction. I stepped out into the hallway with my two supposed friends after my apartment door closed they both stopped.

"Oh Leah, there's one more thing," Rose turned to me, "we need you to wear this." She handed me a blindfold. What was with the Cullens and blindfolding people anyway? I started to complain but I promised Cullen that I'd be on my best behavior and I knew that Rose and Taima both had my best interest at heart. I put the stupid thing on and allowed them to drag me to the car. They sat me in the back seat and I was greeted by another familiar voice.

"Hey Leah," Becca I could hear the happiness in her voice, "tonight is going to be the best night of your life so I really hope you're not tired."

"I'll be the judge of that," murmured, "can we just get this thing on the road."

* * *

The drive wasn't long. Everyone else got out of the car first I could hear their whispers as they tried to get their agenda straight. I sighed and shifted a little. I thought about what I wanted to be doing. I wanted to be on my couch being held by Cullen. It was funny how all the stupid romantic stuff matter now that we were married. How every single touch he gave me eased my spirit and made me feel special. I heard my door open and I was lifted into somebody's arms.

"What the hell?" I wiggled and squirmed. "I'm not a damned invalid I'm pretty sure I can at least walk wherever the hell we are going!" I fussed.

"If we let you walk you'll know where we are so shut up and pip down!" Rebecca said blandly.

They sat me down in a seat and then started picking at my hair. I heard Ness singing some sappy love song in the background, not only that there was a piano in the background. "Ow, what are you trying to do!" I jerked away from the person abusing my hair.

"I'm sorry your hair is just kind of tangled," Rosalie commented.

"Rose, can you just tell me what's going on please?" I figured that if I asked nicely then I might actually get an answer.

"Don't worry we're almost ready to put you out of you misery," she chuckled, "I'm don't with your hair. There's one more thing that has to be done … no you think you can get yourself dressed blindfolded?"

"What? Why? I'm already dressed!" I was completely confused. "I'm taking this stupid thing off!" I snatched the stupid blindfold off and was now smacked in the face with the wedding dress in Rosalie's hand.

"Way to ruin the surprise Leah!" Becca snapped. "You can't let anybody do anything for you can you?"

"I … I … I'm still surprised. Oh my God it's beautiful," I looked at the all in their red knee length bridesmaid dresses. They all wore their hair down with a white flower on the left side. "You all look great! I'm just blown away that you would do this for me."

"Why not? We all love you and it seemed like you weren't planning an actual wedding. Even though you have the license we figured you deserved this." Becca smiled and then I caught a glimpse of Ness here dress was identical to the others except she wore pink instead of red. It matched perfectly with her bronze hair.

"So will you get dressed now?" Taima asked and they all stared at me.

"We are supposed to start in like ten minutes," Rosalie smiled at me.

"Yeah duh," I took the dress and went behind the room divider and changed. The dress was perfect; it was simple, sleeveless and white. It curved into my body type perfectly. I took a couple of deep breaths before returning to my friends. Even though I was already married the thought of an actual wedding was causing my palms to sweat. I stepped from behind the screen and everybody gushed over the way I looked, I would have played into it if I didn't feel like I wanted to vomit.

"You look so great Leah!" Ness ran up to me and hugged me. "Dad is gonna love you!"

"I think he already does," I smiled and kissed her on the forehead.

After a few minutes on mindless banter Seth came into the tent like structure I was in. "Yo, yo are you ready to do this thing?" He smiled at me and I nodded. "I thought it'd be cool if I walked you down the aisle?" He asked like there would be any question.

"It's more than cool Seth," I hugged him tightly I hoped that he knew this was my way of thanking him for being the only one in our family with a brain … except myself of course.

We stepped out of tent we were in and it was like the image was plucked right from my head (it probably was). We were on LaPush beach, this was my dream wedding. As we lined up I had the chance to take in the detail the white lilies surrounded the area. The aisle was lit by large would tiki torches and the full moon and starlit night completed the picture. "Perfect," I whispered as I tried quickly wiped the tear that ran down my cheek.

"Don't cry … you don't want to rain out your own wedding do you?" Seth teased.

"They're happy tears I don't think they'll cause a storm," I sighed trying to release some of the nervous tension I was feeling.

"Okay, we're next," Seth held his arm out to me. My eyes locked with Edward's, his stare was loving and happy. Each step I took towards him was easier than the last. Once I reached him he took my hands in his and kissed my cheek. Carlisle stood as our ordained official and read us our vows. "Before I give you two the opportunity to share your own vows of love I'd like to say that since the first time I saw Edward really interact with Leah I knew that their relationship was strong and pure. Not everything happens in the ideal order but I think we are all thankful that we two found each other. Now Edward would like to begin?" He nodded and then stared at my hands.

"Leah, falling for you was unexpected. It was by far one of the most difficult emotions I've had to deal with. You are the most difficult, frustrating, invigorating, stimulating, sexy, beautiful woman. I love you like crazy and I'm glad we are married." He slid my official wedding band on my finger. I smiled at the small gold ring and then at my husband. I grabbed and kissed his face.

"Leah," Carlisle said as he pulled us apart, "we're not quite at that point yet. It is your turn to share your vows." He smirked once he had things back in order. I looked at my husband, who was smiling at me. He knew that I was going to have to say kind words to him.

"Cullen, you know I love you. I'm not sappy enough to have a speech … just know that my feelings will never change. You're stuck with me." I smoothed my hand across his cheek and then looked to my new father in law. "Is it okay if I kiss my husband now?"

"Yes Leah, you may kiss your groom!" He teased and everyone laughed. I laughed too but didn't miss the opportunity to kiss Edward freely in front of all my love ones. Everything about us had been a secret but not this … this kiss symbolizes us and made us permanent and everyone's mind. This kiss says I love Edward Cullen and he for damn sure loves me. As we pulled away from each other with foreheads still connected we heard Carlisle announce us.

"Ladies and gentleman I give you Mr. and Mrs. Edward Anthony Cullen." Everyone clapped and blew bubbles as we made our way back down the aisle hand and hand. Normally I never liked surprised but these sort of surprises I could get used to.

* * *

_Author's Note: I hope you all liked this chapter! I hope I surprised you all. I think the next chapter will have a little more sexy to it. Plus, it's not a wedding without a party or cake. As always please read and review and no flames! _


	33. Chapter 33

Chapter 33

After the wedding we all migrated to another area on the beach. Tiki posts surrounded that area also and had tons of food. This seemed a little wasteful since only about half of the party had the ability to eat. Seth did his DJ thing and everybody moved on the dance floor and seemed to be having a great time. Edward was taking his daughter for a spin around the dance floor so I looked for Rosalie. I spotted her by the make shift bar beside Becca.

"Hey," I hugged them both, "thanks again for all of this. How did you pull it off so fast?" They both looked at each other knowingly.

"Actually, we were going to throw you a surprise wedding anyway. We wanted to be today but Sam … insisted that the baby shower take place today so we pushed it back." Becca explained.

"And put all the stuff in storage," Rosalie grumbled," but then after we saw how badly Emily and your mother behaved, we felt that it had to be today. You need to know Leah that you do have family that loves and cares about you." I chuckled and quickly wiped the tear from my face.

"Anyway, Rose I wanted to do something for you that Edward was against but I feel like it is meant to be done." I pulled her to the side and Edward joined us.

"I knew you'd never listen … so I took the liberty of drawing your blood while you were sleeping. I also told her about what your blood could potential do for her." I frowned at him and he ignored my glare smirking all the while. "Can you believe she was actually going to let you drink from her?" He asked his blonde sister in disbelief and she burst into a fit of laughter.

"As sweet as that is Leah … I would kill you I don't have self control like that." She commented.

"Here," Edward said handing his sister a golden box. Rosalie opened the box and admired the golden chain with the tiny heart shape vile at its end. It was beautiful and the most tasteful, it was just like Edward to get in on my gift to his family.

"Wow, Leah I'm really touched if it works for me like it did for Edward you have given me the gift of life without hurting. I truly appreciate this." Her topaz eyes made evident her seriousness.

"You're welcome," I hugged her again.

"If you two are finished with your female bonding I'd like to have my wife back?" He arched his eyebrow teasingly at his sister and she rolled her eyes at him. "Whatever, it's almost time for speeches and the cutting of the cake anyway."

"Speeches?" In all the weddings I've been to I've never heard of anyone making any speeches.

"Yeah, usually it's the best man and the maid of honor but since you didn't get to pick your maid of honor we thought it would only be fair for us to open up the floor for a few minutes and have people congratulate you." Rose explained.

"Okay ladies and gentleman," Seth cut the music, "can I have Edward and my sister up on the stage please?" As he said this Jasper and Emmett put two large chairs on stages. "Okay who wants to make a speech or a toast to the couple?" A line formed at the microphone and something told me that we were going to be here for a while. I didn't mind for the first time since coming back I was really having fun with my family.

"Before you all get started," Seth disconnected his microphone and now stood in front of me and my husband. "I just wanted to tell Leah that I love her and that I was heartbroken when you left the first time. I felt like a piece of me was out in the middle of nowhere … and then when you came back all this drama surrounded you. I don't care what you are or who you are with, first and foremost you are my sister and I love you … no matter how crazy you make me. So here's a toast to the most fiery and awesome sister a guy could have Leah and her lastest victim … I mean husband Edward." Everyone raised their glasses and cheered.

After a few more friendly faces and funny stories were cheered, and several others gave their blessing, an unexpected person stood with the microphone. Esme stood and looked at us both. "I know this isn't the most ideal time but I wanted to say I'm sorry … to both of you. I judged you Leah so harshly and Edward sweetheart, I love you and to me, you are my flesh and blood. I should've trust your judgment and understood when you needed to follow your heart. I am sorry that Bella," she took a minute to compose herself. "This isn't about that. I wanted to say that seeing you two tonight made me fully understand how much you love each other. You two are beautiful together. Congratulations." Everyone was silent and looked at Edward and me, I guess they were trying to gauge whether it was okay to cheer. I got up from my seat and approached Esme.

"It's weird … I believe you more than I believe my own mother." I grabbed her hand and kept my eye contact with her hoping she would see and feel my sincerity. "I am sorry that any lives were hurt or lost in our journey to get here but I'm glad we are here because this has been one of the happiest moments in my life. I love your son with all of my heart."

"I know you do," she hugged me and everyone clapped like they were watching a damned play. I laughed as bittersweet tears fell down my face. I was happy that Esme finally accepted me and that she understood our love. I just wished my mother had been here, if she had seen Edward and me together, maybe it would have opened her eyes too. Just as my thoughts started sour I felt another cool hand on my back. I looked at my husband who smiled knowingly at me. He hugged his mother briefly and then escorted me back to my seat. Jacob stood up next and sighed.

"Wow! That's a really hard act to follow," everyone chuckled but knowing Jacob he didn't mean it to be funny. "Beta, it's no secret I'm not a fan of the dude you married … but I seriously think it's cool how happy he has made you and I can see how you've changed him too. It makes him a little less irritating." Everyone laughed again and he smiled and then approached me on the stage and cut the microphone off.

"Leah, I know you," he whispered, "I know you wish all your family could be here with you. Ever since you were younger you've been a major rock where you family is concerned. Today is your day and everyone that matters is right here for you." He kissed my forehead and then hopped off the stage.

"What the hell are you doing Jacob? You can't whisper a toast! You can't do anything right!" Rebecca yelled teasing her younger brother. Their bickering distracted everyone until Ness came up grabbed the microphone and everyone shut up.

"Hey, I thought this would be easy but there are a lot of people …,"she looked around at everyone, then down at her feet, "I just wanted to say I'm happy you're really my mom now. It's easy for me to see why dad was drawn to you. It's the same reason I was, your heart is so big Leah and even though you're blunt doesn't mean you don't understand and care about the people around you. Other people don't get that and they're dim-witted. Anyone that had a chance to be in your life and didn't see it as a blessing is completely mental. Leah you rock and daddy you're one lucky son of a …"

"Language!" I yelled and Ness stopped in mid sentence.

"Gun … I was going to say gun," she batted her eyes innocently but I knew better. She twitched off handing the microphone off to someone I really didn't know.

"She learned that language from you," Edward whispered as he leaned into me. I just smirked enjoying the smooth tone of his voice. "I hope this is the last person … I'm ready to move onto the next phase of our evening." I could feel his lips turn upright into a smile against my cheek.

"Oh really, what's the next phase?" I pulled away slightly so that I could study his expression.

"Just another surprised that I think you'll be thrilled about," he said seductively.

"Okay so … it looks like the bride and groom have entered into a world of their own so speeches our over it's time for a little more dancing!" Rose announced pulling us out of our little world. Everyone applauded as Seth started the music back up, and we left the stage.

"I want to show you something," Edward offered me his hand and of course I took it. We headed away from the party but before we could achieve any real distance a tiny voice stopped us.

"Edward," Alice called for her brother and he turned to her cautiously. My hand was still in his I could feel his grip tighten. I assumed he was pissed at the sudden diversion his sister created. They stared at each other and after a while her eyes became soft and vulnerable. The two of them had an unspoken bond before all of this stuff went down and apparently she was trying to reconnect. I frowned at Edward's expression as he tried to sort out his feelings.

"I forgive you." She jumped into an embrace with her brother and our hands unclasp at her impact. She went to speak but he covered her mouth with his hand. "Let me finish. I forgive you but I don't trust you. I don't know if I ever will again but I will try." He attempted to smile at her but it just looked strange.

"And so will I," Alice turned her stare to me, "truce Leah?" She extended her hand and I warily took it. If Edward saw fit to salvage his bond with his sister I would not hold onto my ill feelings toward her. She sighed and smiled like a weight had been lifted off of her shoulders. "I'll let you two get back to what you were doing." She skipped off knowingly.

Cullen not missing a beat, took possession of my hand once more and began leading me down the beach. We walked slowly under the moonlight sky, it seemed like the stars shined extra bright for us. "So how did you enjoy our wedding Leah Cullen?" I can't believe him saying that didn't make me want to die inside. It actually excited me.

"It didn't suck," I teased playfully; "I know you had to be in on this. Was it your idea?"

"I wish I could obtain the credit however it was really all Rose, Taima, and Rebecca. I did see fit to mention that you always dreamed of having you wedding out here. They wanted to do it during the day like you envisioned but I believe Rose told you of the conflict in scheduling." I nodded and the glanced up at the stars again.

"The night is better," Edward pulled me close and brushed his lips against mine.

"I agree with you. I don't think I've ever seen anything as beautiful as you walking towards me in that dress under the night sky." I smiled so hard that I knew my cheeks had to be beet red.

"Stop with your mush Cullen!" I nudged him and he wrapped his arm around my waist. We had approached yet another big white tent on the beach. We entered the area and there was a large California king size bed dressed in white sheets covered in red and white roses. Candles surrounded the and soft romantic classical music played so gently allowed my mind to escape into the fairy tale created.

"I believe the mush has just begun … this was my idea by the way." He said as he scooped me up and placed me on the bed as if I was the most precious thing in his world. "You are, I feel a little guilty saying that because of the children, but Leah my life didn't really begin until you entered it." He lightly rubbed his lips against my only stopping occasionally to peck my lips. "Tonight I want to go slow. I want to take the time … to show you how much you mean to me." He assisted me in sitting upright so that he could unzip my dress as he did, he peppered little kisses along my shoulders. My body was becoming flushed from my desire for him but the feeling was different. It wasn't just my physical needs that he was pleasing. Each touch he gave me screamed, "Leah you're beautiful" or "Leah, I love you."

"I love you Edward," I gasped from the bliss I felt when we finally connected. A tear rolled down my face. I felt so complete … so perfect nothing could compare to this moment and the feeling he had given me.

"Don't cry my love," he moaned slowly as he continued to stroke slowly, "it will be like this always." He managed to say with only a couple of stutters.

"Okay," I mouthed as I surrendered to his bliss. He placed my hands over my head intertwined our finger as our bodies made their commitment to one another. We released sounds of love that echoed throughout the night. This was my happily ever after.

Some people may not like it … but I was sure as hell in love with it.

THE END

* * *

_Author's Note: That's it! I hope everyone liked it. There probably will be a sequel but it won't be happening for a while. The doctor's think that I'm losing my vision so it's really hard for me to write right now. I want to get all of my stories to a good place and finish them before whatever happens. I_

_Anyway, I love this ending. I know things with Leah's mom are unresolved and I really do have stuff planned for a sequel. Again I hope you enjoyed this story as much as I did writing it please read and review … and NO flames! _


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